The Way for a True Child
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
Section 3. Marriage and Life
1) The True View of Marriage and the True View of Family
What do we marry for? Let us talk about marriage, now that we know what we were born for. What were we born for? To accomplish God's Will of Love. What do we marry for? To accomplish God's Will of Love, which is to accomplish God's Will of the Standard of the Four Position Foundation by giving birth to good children that God and Adam and Eve had hoped to have. By doing so we can set up the foundation in our family which can be used as a global formula. If a family has no children, husband and wife can set up the horizontal standard, but they cannot set up the vertical standard. Do you follow? That is why most couples want to have children. Why do they wish this? Because, the power of the law of heaven has been working on people.
Isn't it mysterious? Why do women want to give birth to children after they are married, even though it is a very hard thing to do? Even women themselves do not know clearly why they have the urge to give birth. They do not know why it is human nature to give birth to babies, to love their sons, to love their daughters, and to love their husbands. They do not know why they would sacrifice their lives for their husbands, whom they love, or why parents are willing to sacrifice their lives for their children. It is to connect to the love of God, and by doing so, everything becomes victorious and everything falls into place. It is all due to love. We must understand this. It is not something made up by you, even if you wanted it to be, but it is done according to the program of the Principle of Creation, originating from the origin, God, the creator.
Just as a program you put into a computer produces copies, even though you were the one who pressed the button, so no matter how many hundreds of times the history of man changes in tens of thousands of years, the program always works on man's mind. This kind of power is from the action of the original nature, which you must know. Is it correct? (Yes) What were you born for? (God's love) To become an object of love. Why do we marry? To make, with our family, a spherical form. In this spherical form, what kinds of love abide in it? There is parental love, conjugal love, and children's love. Even God does not have parental love, conjugal love and children's love within himself. You must have a spherical form of love to access every direction (four directions), centering on the center. The sphere of love is accessible through the center, which is the ideal core of love. By going through the center, everybody can form the ideal sphere of love. Therefore, the family representing the universe is the headquarters for having dominion. That is the conclusion. Do you understand? That is the universe. That is simple, isn't it? (132-247)
2) Woman's Pride and Special Character
Can you women give birth to children without being married? Can you produce them by yourselves? You must marry. Originally, man can not help but to marry. Women are born to marry. Also, men are born to marry. See, look at women's bodies. Women's breasts are big, and their bottoms are big. This is not for her sake. It is for the sake of giving birth to babies. It grows big to give birth. Also, why do the breasts grow large? Is it for herself? No. It is to feed the baby. That is the way. (100-130)
I see that through this way, women have received the most blessing. Shall we talk about why it is so? Why? When God created the creation, woman was the last. When an artist creates artwork, the masterpiece comes at the end. Considering this, if we compare man and woman, who is more beautiful? Woman is more beautiful. Is it correct or not correct? (Yes, it is correct)
Think about animals, and the birds, male and female, which one is more beautiful? (Male one is) Why is it that the male is the one that is more beautiful? (To show off to women) Then it is the same for man. When a man looks beautiful, it is good to show off to woman. Male animals are more beautiful because of the process of creation. But, woman was created last, and this is why she is more beautiful than the animals. Woman is more beautiful than man. It is the opposite. Because women were the last creation. This is the pride of women. (100-132)
So, when God created, did He love man or woman more? (Woman) Did He love man or woman more? (Man) No. He loved woman more. The reason why is because man is the house of God. So, when man reaches adolescence, the age of maturity, he wants to dominate the cosmos with his command, and wants to be the first in everything. You, Hyo Jin, are also the same, aren't you? You all want to be the best, don't you? (Yes) That's right; man has more of that kind of desire. But, women are not like that. Woman, no matter what, does not think about being first in the world. She has only one direction. She wants to be somewhere where she can sleep comfortably, to lean on somebody. This is the kind of nature she has. At a party, the need to run away, breaking a wall and the nature to have a hard fight is not in a woman. She just wants to live receiving love and leaning on others, to have comfort wherever she goes.
When she goes any place, she wants to live being able to fit in, live relying upon others and to hang on to people. That's their way.
That's why women like to hang things on themselves. They want to live embracing people, just like necklaces do. So they want to hang off people and swing around and also dangle to-and-fro. She has rings on her fingers wanting to live her life fitting in. Why do women like rings, necklaces and earrings? It is because they want to live their lives being hung, being able to fit in and what? To live suspended from a point and to swing freely. They like these things.
What it means, then, is that woman is standing in the position of receiving love and being closer to God. Listen to the laughter of men and women. Men go "Huh, huh, huh," while women go "He, he, he." Look at their gestures when they are laughing. Men lean backward, while women lean forward. No matter how fat a woman is she laughs that way. You can research this subject. As we see this, this is women's nature. Do you understand? So, God may have wanted to love women more than men. Why? A man, like Adam, is the body of God. Women stand in the object position. When Adam reaches maturity, God should enter him. "Oh, this son has now fully grown up." By doing so he loves women. Women stand in the position of future object; that is why God loves women. That is why woman is the masterpiece, made at the end. Woman is therefore in the position to receive more love than man. Then, what is next? She can become a mother. Do you like mother or father? (Mother) Oh yeah? Father or mother? (Mother, Father) We like both. You like both of them. But the children, for example, Sun Jin, my daughter, when we are together in a room, even when I say to come over to me, she goes to mum, who is not doing anything except smiling, not coming to me. She likes Mother more.
Women should give birth to babies. You should. Of course, dad helps in conception, but it is the woman who carries the baby, and gives birth. Is that right? It is precious to conceive, bear, and rear a child. Man only sows. Does that mean he has no regard for the baby? Not more than mum. (100-132)
3) Marriage and Woman's Destiny
Women, no matter how much they have studied, are to follow their husbands. Do you understand? No matter how beautiful you are, how good the university is that you graduated from, it does not matter. This applies at this time and age. If a woman who has graduated from a famous university in Japan marries a man who has only graduated from elementary school in Korea, she should still follow her husband. If the husband is a farmer, then she should go to the farming village. No matter how beautiful you are, you must follow your husband. Can she go away leaving the husband?
When you get married saying, "Uh, I am a university graduate and clever. I think that man is for me," is that the way you would like to select your husband? That is absolutely not possible. It is not to be done according to your own will. That way may get you into trouble and lead to a breakup. In a country like America, beautiful women and handsome men marry each other according to their own love, but they break up in a few months. Do you know why? It is because they do not complement each other's fundamental nature and do not get along well. In other words, this particular plus and minus do not complement each other according their fundamental natures, that is why.
East and West will link up well, but East and South will repel each other. They can never reach the goal. That's why marriage is such a serious matter. When a woman has a husband that is the wrong choice, no matter how beautiful she is, her destiny is affected. A marriage does not work well only because of a handsome face. She should be able to feel what nature and ability he has, what direction he is going, but she can't discern this. That's why she needs to have a Teacher who can tell at a glance what kind of man he is. (120-317)
Woman's destiny, no matter how much she studies, is to follow man. Have you thought about it? If you are a thoughtful woman, you must have known it. You should know about yourself, "I am such a person to go this way. What kind of nature do I have? What kind of man should I meet?" Have you ever thought about it? Even if you studied abroad, it does not make you famous. When you get married, from that time on, centered on husband and wife relationship and on family life your life becomes diversified in many different ways. So man should take full responsibility as man, and woman should also do her responsibility fully. As you both take on responsibility, if one goes the wrong way, the other should take the responsibility of the other half. Father matches people who have this type of ability. (120-319)
This world is ruthless, very ruthless. Even your friend wants to use you for his sake, when he faces difficulties. Is that right? When you are single, you do not mind when such an event occurs. You should know, when you have your wife, you don't like to stay together with the friends that are single. The universe is made to be this way. Bridegroom and the bride are to be one. That's why when you study, do not think you study only for you to be good. You should think that you are going to have a great wife, and together with her help you are going to make your life very successful. You should think to be successful after the two of you meet together. Before the meeting, no matter how big your dreams might be, that dream breaks. Do you know what I mean? So, you must find the path that is in accordance with your fundamental nature. (120-320)
4) Responsibility of Man and Woman
You women, you stay at home, so you do not know how much your husbands must fight hard and struggle. Man is harder than woman. Look! Man should take the responsibility for the entire livelihood. Women, who stay at home, do not know this. When a woman stays at home, if she gets angry about something, then she can have a fight with the neighbors. But the man in the workplace, no matter how angry he is towards his senior whom people know is not good, must have patience and pretend that he has no problem. Do you know how many situations like this he has faced? Also, even though your juniors disregard you, you must have patience and hang in there. Women have internal problems. Women internally are simple. What kind of problems do they have? As they serve their husbands well, all the problems will go away.
Then, in conclusion, are women happy when they give birth to a baby and rear the baby? She is fulfilling her responsibility when she bears a child, and rears the baby as a great son of the world. To become a great mother of the world, she doesn't have to live in a country like America, right at the center of Washington, D.C. Even though she may live in the remote countryside in Korea, as long as she bears a child and rears him with hope and love, then she can become a great mother of the world. (100-138)
5) Women's Artistic Activity After Marriage
Are women's artistic skills finished when they marry? Why are they finished? Because Father is a man, you may say. But once a woman gets married, she cannot then go around and do her own work. The reason is that she should do the work of bearing a baby and feeding the baby. This is her given work. Then what can she do with her artistic activity? What is art? It is what you do to make your name famous throughout the world. You should know that the goal of art is to have an excellent and interesting life. But, what we need in our church is to have human resources for the world, isn't it? "For the world" means that it is good for the world, but also good for the family. (But it depends on how much effort we put in, doesn't it?) Look, for example: with your artistic activities, you can sing, and play the piano as the baby is sleeping, or play the violin while singing a lullaby. How artistic is that? In those circumstances, you can love the baby who is sleeping, while at the same time embrace the whole world. How beautiful art is. (It doesn't mean, though, that it is up to world standards.) Why isn't it up to world standards? As you put the baby to steep, if you compose a world lullaby, and sing it to the baby, then it is of worldwide level. It is not the only way to be of worldwide standard that you stand on a stage and the people of the world congratulate your performance. (Study hard and become famous throughout the world, then you can marry, can't you?) (True Mother: Ah, ah, it should not be like that.) No. To be an internationally famous person, to be known throughout the world, you have got to be sixty, seventy, eighty years old. So, it is not possible. You can become an internationally famous person, yet if you don't know love, then you area sad person. (100- 136)
When you think of art, you may think that if it is worldwide, you can go to the Paris Opera House and be welcomed by the public and all the people of the world will say, "Oh, it is great." It is not right to think like that. Doing something artistic means that you are making life beautiful, and therefore living a beautiful life. It is also the same for studying. You study to live a good life. Think about it this way. Look. Wouldn't you like to be a person like me? Teacher, how tragic am I! Wherever I go, there is fighting. I am ridiculed, chased, and rejected. Do you like it? How about it? Do you like that? Can a woman do this job? You may hear of somebody called Moon, "He is a great man." It does not happen by just sitting in one place. There is a lot of struggle involved. Women would hardly go through such severe fighting even if they were pressed. Women have there own limits. It is a risk to go over the limit too much.
When you do something artistic, you should think that you are making it a part of your life. We should educate children artistically. You should be able to serve and embrace your husband with artistic emotion, That is more excellent art, I think. I believe the value of art is to beautify and enhance family life with love. Women should remain with the family. So, you should marry. (100-139)
6) The Starting Point of Man's Rights and Woman's Rights
Centering on love, man and woman are equal. Is that right? Have you ever thought that it would have been better for you to be born as a man? (Yes) That is not necessary. Woman, as a woman, is like half a moon. You must know this. Centered on love woman are equal. Nowadays, some feminists say, "I heard that Reverend Moon of the Unification Church is against women's rights," but please listen to me. Those feminists should know that they should protect the rights of mothers. Centered upon love, are mother and daughter united? You must be united. Do you have women's rights based upon the foundation of unity with your husband? Do you have women's rights that allow you to love your children? These kinds of women's right should occur first. You bad girls, influenced by politics, you join the women's rights movement, disregarding your mothers, husbands, and children, forgetting the bases from which you should proclaim women's rights. What kind of women's rights movement does this? Stop it, it is not allowed. Woman's rights without the right motives should be thrown away. Do you understand?
What is the first of women's right? The right to receive love from parents, to love their mothers, the right to love their husbands and to receive love from their husbands. These are equal in value. Women's right to love children, and women's right to receive love from their children. When you have these then you can go to the next stage, the world outside of your family. You cannot deviate from this fundamental standard and raise your voice. Look at the women who go around doing the women's right movement. They act however they want to, do whatever they want to, kicking away their mothers and fathers, and disregarding their own children. There are no women's rights there. That kind of women's rights brings confusion, which is a satanic world movement. Our women's rights should correspond with the contents of the Principle.
So, you must listen to the words of your parents. You! You may say, "How come mum and dad keep calling us even though I don't want to go?" But it is to give you your rights as a man. Men should also have men's rights to be able to receive father's love, mother's love, love of brothers and sisters, and it is also men's right to receive wife's love and children's love.
Now, do you love your father? Do you love him? (I love him.) You love him. If you disagree with this, you are being unrighteous. That is the realm of Satan. This realm will be destroyed naturally. The universe will not protect you. But the principled power is absolutely protected by the universe. In ancient oriental times, there were sayings: "Family harmony which can accomplish anything" and "Three Fundamental Principles and Five Moral Disciplines of human relations." Even though history is changing, such principles are unchanging. That is why there has been education teaching the order between elder and younger, and that faith should reign over relations between friends ... and that friends are to be trustworthy.
7) The Attitude We Must Have to Accomplish Woman's Rights and Man's Rights
You bad girls, what have your eyes seen disregarding what your parents think and feel? This kind of country will perish. Teachers encourage students, saying, "why don't you go on a date?" "Why don't you party after school? It is okay to dance." These are Satan's tactics to destroy the ideal of heaven's nation by creating a mess. Do you understand? Who is allowed to touch holy men and women? In the old days, Teacher never showed his skin in public. It used to be that women did not show their skin, and Teacher didn't either. Nowadays, women show all of their body. In America, women wear mini-skirts these days. They let their bottoms and breasts show, walking along the streets with an open attitude, you bad girls. They are promiscuous. Is heaven's law working in them? There are many men who lead their nation to perish by following their promiscuous people. That kind of world will perish. Do you understand?
Well, what is Unification thought? What? (It is for the sake of others) Centered on what? (Centered on God's love) The issue is to accomplish the ideal of love. Without it, the ideal of love cannot be accomplished. A mother should even be able to write such a poem, "Oh my daughter, my eternal loving daughter," glorifying her daughter. You should be able to hear from your mother that you are externally weak like other women, but internally you are strong. How wonderful it would be if you became sons and daughters worthy of receiving such words. So, are you a pious son or daughter? What are you?
You people here, do you want to have this kind of children after you are married? How do you feel? You women, think about it. Do you want children like this or not? It is not important to you to have a good-looking face. Your face may look like a pumpkin on the fence. Like a wrinkled pumpkin. But it will be fine if you have love. Is this correct? Do you understand what this means?
If you are a woman, when you reach adolescence, you enter the realm of God's love. Then, when you come together, it is like a fire, and then God comes. God naturally abides. That is what I wanted to say. When God comes, He brings love with Him. Therefore when man and woman are in love, God loves it. Do you understand? (132-253)
You, when I look at you, I already know you well. With my senses, a glance is all I need to know you. You ... flighty people. Who would eat a radish that has been in the freezing wind, no matter how big it is? The top might have looked very green, yet when he finds that the inside is frozen, no one would eat it. Another radish, the top part might have been quite small, but if it is fresh, it is delicious. Do you understand? When you pick up a radish that has been hit by frost at the market, you will feel bad. Just by touching it, you will feel what it is like. When you lift up a frostbitten radish, it does not weigh very much.
You women, put up your hand if you think you are not a flighty person. I mean those who have not been influenced by America; for example, wanting women to be worshiped and expecting men to come and open the car door for you. This was the trend of the 70's. It was the stage of training to attend Mother. This trend was accepted for a little while, but now it has passed. There are not many days left till the mark of seventy years after the end of World War One, which was the time period for the training to attend women. People did not know the historical reason. God made everything be like this.
Women should know how to attend their husbands. Then what next? They should know how to attend their children. What is next? They should know how to attend their parents. Next? They should know how to attend the nation. It is good to attend God, but you must attend the nation. The nation is there for the sake of the world. Next, you should attend humanity. As you do this, you attend the world. As you attend the nation, you are also attending all humanity. These words have the same meaning. (133-153)
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