I want to say that I feel so much gratitude and humility to God, True Parents and Hyun Jin Nim for the opportunity to be here. These last 40 days were probably the hardest I've ever had in my life, both physically and spiritually. Every day I had to work hard, yet make sure I wasn't just praying for myself. Even when I ate, I didn't want to eat for myself.
One day I said my name was Hyun Jin Nim and I was doing this to change the youth in this world. I felt like I was he, that I had this great responsibility as second generation. I always carried True Parents picture with me all the time. Whenever I touched it I felt so connected to them and I prayed to them all the time. I felt we were going through the same thing.
My goal was to be a True Daughter to True Parents. I feel like I could not do that until I understood True Parents. During the first half of the condition I really confronted my fallen nature, and couldn't fundraise so much. One whole day I just walked around and I was wondering what was happening to me. Why am I here if I am not going to give all my effort to God? That day I realized that I had been really insincere to God. I felt I couldn't even live with myself.
From then on I determined I would give of myself no matter what. When I was struggling I didn't ask for God's help. In my prayer that night I realized that blessed children are the most precious to God. I felt I could be stronger for Him. Since that realization, I felt like I couldn't go without giving all my effort.
One day I went into a mechanic shop and an employee asked if I was with the Unification Church. He said "It isn't anything against you, it's just that I hate Rev. Moon." I went out and started crying thinking how much True Father has suffered so much. Until then I had sometimes been hiding that I was from the church, being afraid to lose the sale or get persecuted. But after meeting that guy I just felt I couldn't hide it anymore. From then on I would go up to people telling them "Hi, I am from the Unification Church with Rev. Moon." Out of all that I gained so much pride. I feel that I can do this forever and for the rest of my life.
When I was a member I used to think it was so easy to be a captain. But on the first day of captaining I started to get emotional, and I wanted to be a fundraiser again. I felt it was so challenging. Yet each day I would feel really comforted by God. I reported everything, even the littlest thing. I wanted to report everything because I know God can work when there is unity between my central figure and me. Many times I struggled, saying he doesn't want to hear this and I felt I didn't want to talk to him about this point. I would pray