Unification News for January 1995


The Family Is The School Of Love

This are some selections from the book: True Love & Forbidden Love, An investigation into the cause of immorality and suffering its historical origin and its solution. If you like a copy of this book or more information or counseling on this topics, please contact the author:
J. Gonzalez,
504, Hillview Mansion,
21-23 Macdonnell Road, Central, Hong Kong
Tel: (852) 526 38 42
Fax: (852) 526 38 56

The Family Is The School Of Love

All people have the innate desire to love and be loved. Love is what everyone is always thinking about, what poets write about, what singers sing about. Love is the greatest and most powerful force in the universe and the source of life and happiness.

Directly or indirectly, we are searching for joy and happiness through the experience of love. Only when we have harmonious relationships of true love with others can we experience lasting happiness. We have to come to the conclusion that love is the most precious thing in life. It does not matter how long we live: our biological existence does not have value unless we experience love.

Where is the institution in which we learn about love? The obvious answer should be: the family. The family is the school of love and the training ground for the realization of true love.

In the family, one is to grow to experience and learn the widening realms of love: initially children's love towards one's parents, then love among one's brothers and sisters, then conjugal love with one's spouse, and, finally, parental love towards one's own children. When we learn and practice this four realms of heart we can graduate from this school of love. Through this process we become prepare to master all human relationships in the larger society. Because we are different from animals, human beings have few instincts to guide them. How to love and live we learn basically in our family and culture. For this reason, it is essential that we establish patterns of behavior in our families which will constructively shape human life for the generations ahead.

Of all the existing institutions in society, the family is the first, most basic and the most important. The family is the fundamental unit and the indispensably building block of any society. If we cannot establish peace, love and happiness in our homes, there will be no hope of creating peace, love and happiness in the larger world. The purpose of our existence is to realize this ideal of true love and happiness in the family, which will naturally extend outward into the society. Good families are the basis for a healthy, prosperous and happy society anywhere.

When we look at a family, we see that parents stand in the center. The family could only be formed because of the love between a man and a woman. Love is like the glue, the very element that brings them together and also maintains continuing unity. The love of parents is the origin of our physical and spiritual life and transmits the blood lineage. Therefore it s crucial to talk about the value and purpose of love in human life. Mature, unselfish love can be the foundation for the fulfillment of joy throughout our lives, However, if love is misused, it can cause great suffering and conflict. Illicit love bears tragic consequences for individuals, families, and for the society as well.

An analogy can be made between the physical power of atomic energy and the spiritual power of love. If atomic energy is used wisely for peaceful purposes, it can allow for unimaginable prosperity and progress. But if it is wrongly used, atomic power can cause unimaginable destruction and death. In the same way, love experienced in a constructive direction gives us the greatest happiness, but when experienced in an immature or improper way it can result in divorce, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, incest, domestic violence, etc.

We need to consider a fundamental principle in the pursuit of a happy and stable family: that sex belongs only to marriage.

If we observe adolescents, we can see that they are preparing themselves physically and spiritually for the experience of love. They are usually very romantic, idealistic, sensitive and passionate. These are the signs that they are opening themselves to the complete sensation of love, in body, mind and spirit. They are like a blossom before opening. The sweetness is kept inside. Before being blessed in marriage, each young person should carefully keep his or her deepest heart and love in the core of their being, not giving it away. Man and woman must grow first to full physical and emotional maturity before they are ready for marriage. This is the best guarantee for the success of their future family. Chastity and purity of heart before marriage allow for the continuing growth of one's personality and spirit. There is a definite correlation between one's development of a healthy sexuality and one's spiritual growth towards a virtuous adulthood. All this elements are needed in order to successfully build a bond of true and lasting love in marriage. On that foundation, man and woman can establish a strong couple and become good parents for their children, transmitting to them a true tradition of love to follow.

Our virginity represents our first and true love, and is the most valuable and holy possession that no amount of money can possibly buy. When virginity and innocence are given in the wrong circumstances, they become irrecoverable lost, making it very difficult for that person's inner growth to continue. It is like unripe fruit that, once pulled off a tree, cannot be put back again to continue its growing. Once we are aware of this fact, it is a real tragedy to give away such a priceless possession in a moment of passion or lust. Such an action can have devastating consequences for those involved, and for their future attitudes and behavior.

Many of the modern programs of sexual education for the young present purely physical (genital) information, focusing only on the biological, medical and hygienic aspects of sex, with a range of details about all kinds of possible methods and devices to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. This teaching is devoid of ethical and moral values, and pitifully fails to acknowledge the true and sacred purpose of love and its sexual expression, Not surprisingly, the result of this type of education has been to increase the very problems it claims to avoid!

Instead of emphasizing the value of chastity and a serious preparation for true love and marriage, these methods have served in many cases as an open invitation to a premature sexual experiences, spreading the attitude that sex is a mere biological necessity and that the repercussions only constitute a problem if the appropriate measures are not taken.

In the face of the increasing AIDS epidemic, which will plunge whole nations into a crisis of catastrophic proportions, let us honestly look at our options for sexual behavior. Let us recognize that the best acceptable preventive measures against AIDS are: purity before marriage and fidelity within marriage.

The sexual impulse is the most powerful inner force. If we are not able to control, conquer and use it in the correct direction, then this sexual drive will be the very force that will conquer, dominate and eventually destroy us. This is the reason why it has been so difficult for people to overcome the desire for illicit love. The act of love is destined to be the most beautiful, sacred and sublime experience. But if this act is carried out in an illicit way it becomes the dirtiest, most degraded and shameful experience. Therefore, illicit or forbidden love is also a very destructive force that causes enormous frustrations, disappointments and suffering.

Sexual corruption has caused the fall of important and famous people, nations and empires throughout human history. From the very early times, sages, prophets and people shared the belief that sooner or later uncontrolled sexual conduct would bring misfortune in the form of decadence and self-destruction. Modern investigations corroborate this belief. Arnold Toynbee, one of the most prominent modern historians, writes: "Out of twenty-one of the most notable civilizations in history, nineteen perished not by having been conquered, but because of internal decadence." Another historian, Dr. J.D. Unwin from Cambridge University, who made a study of eighty civilizations that existed over a period of four thousand years, came to the conclusion that those civilizations who chose sexual promiscuity degenerated, but those who exercised sexual discipline created prosperity. Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, expressed: "I could say over and over again -because I was never able to prove otherwise-that sexuality is the key to disclose the problem of psychoneurosis and neurosis in general." (Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality).

Numerous statistical and sociological investigations demonstrate that many delinquents and criminals come from disintegrated homes and that most of the problems of alcoholism, drug addiction and violence are linked to the distortion or lack of love received at home. Indeed, where there is homosexuality, free sex, drugs, and alcoholism, the world of true love is far away. How many have been touched by the cruelty of infidelity and divorce? Where is love in all the one-night stands? What about the nightmare of the children who are sexually abused by a parent? Is free sex worth the price of a broken child? A world of free sex is absolutely contrary to the ideal of the family. Love comes from the stimulation of unblemished emotion, but free sex is totally devoid of purity or true emotion.

As William Graham Cole wrote: "Stolen objects can be returned or compensated, lies and defamation can be retracted and corrected, envy and jealousy can be overcome. But a sexual act committed with another person cannot be nullified. The mutual relationship suffers a radical change and the affected couple will never again be the same as before. Something indelible has marked them."

At the present time, many problems can gradually be solved by the advance of science, technology and the employment of new and more advanced political, social and economic systems. But, despite the magnitude of these advances, it seems that the more a country develops the less capable it is of recognizing and controlling sexual immorality, adultery and all the sexually related crimes. Immoral acts are always committed secretly and in a free society there is almost no way to prevent them, except to elevate our heart and conscience. Simple laws, punishments or other acceptable external methods, prove, so much now as in the past, to be ineffective to control them. As human beings can not live without experiencing love, if we are not able to live by the principles of true love is evident that the alternative is illicit love.

Man exist for the sake of woman and woman exist for the sake of man. So we can say that from the moment a person is born he or she was born for his or her mate. Throughout history, numerous viewpoints addressing life and the world have presented unresolved problems. The solution to those problems will be found when a true man and a true woman unite with the absolute standard of true love, creating an absolute unit, due to the fact that this is the original purpose for our lives and the source of absolute value.

Where are man and woman finally connected for the consummation of their love? Through their sexual organs. From where did humanity originate? Not from the eyes, the nose, or the head, but from the most sacred place: the reproductive organs, the organs of love, the sexual organs.

These organs should be the sacred palaces of love. They are supposed to be the most important and sacred places, through which love is consummated, life created and lineage transmitted. Our ideals, our existence, life and happiness, everything is connected to that central place where love is consummated.

Men and women are made in such a way that they harmonize sexually. The man's sexual organ is owned by his wife and vice versa. They exchange ownership and then there is only one owner forever. This is the simple truth and no power can change this truth. The problem has come thought the idea that we have ownership over our sexual organ and we have the right to use it however our body dictates.

Only husband and wife have the access key in order to open those sacred places for the consummation of heavenly love. The act of love is meant to be a husband and wife's most holy possession and should never be defiled by allowing a stranger to enter and corrupt it. This is the only correct way to understand the relationship between husband and wife. Once a man and a woman find their true love, it is something permanent and eternal and an alternative sexual love could not exist.

The first night when the sharing of the first love, the moment when husband and wife join together in total unity through a complete physical and spiritual love, when the sexual organs join in total harmony -that is the point where the whole purpose of our existence is fulfilled.

Men and women have their sexual organs so they could join together, which is the most incredible blessing. Through their coming together, they feel joy in the True Love Palace. This is the beginning point of true happiness. That is not only the consummation point for men and women, it is also the point of consummation for our Creator. This is the beginning of happiness and hope and we must restore this, we must attain this. This is the life which our Creator envisioned for every man and woman here on earth and when you finish this kind of earthly life, you will go to the eternal world. The experiences of true love are our true treasures which shape our personality, identity and character. That is the only wealth or possession we can carry with us to forever. The ultimate fulfillment and true satisfaction of any man or woman will be found, without doubt, in true love; nothing better can exist. Sexual intercourse between a true husband and wife is the state of true love. This union is meant to be the most valuable and beautiful, the holiest of all holy things. The experience of true love will always be the supreme experience, the climax, ecstasy of life. The anchor that will give us permanent stability. Although we can have many different experiences in the course of our life, we will always remain connected to that central anchor. When a husband and wife's love consummate at this sacred level, husband and wife could feel totally satisfied and fulfilled forever. In the same way that each one of us could not change the parents who gave us birth, once a man and a woman get married under the absolute power of true love, they could not be separated.

Love, life and lineage are connected with the sexual organs. The linkage of love, life and lineage is what gives history its continuity. They connect the past, the present and the future.

That is why the act of love should be the most precious, beautiful and sacred act of our life. But, in spite of that, it is very shocking to discover that constantly throughout human history, the sexual organs and the act of love have been seen as something dirty and shameful. It is also symptomatic that most languages frequently use the most obscene and vulgar words to describe the sexual organs and the act of love. It degrades sexual love, the most sublime, beautiful and sacred experience, into something casual, obscene, impure and very often vulgar. Each experience of love should have been a rejoicing and heavenly explosion of energy and creativity.

Although adultery is the biggest imaginable betrayal against true love, we nevertheless see this problem unfortunately repeated in all types of environments and cultures through the ages, as well as the fact that prostitution degrades sex to a mere commodity. Incest, abortion, rape and all sexual perversions are carried out through these love organs, that had tainted human life in all races and cultures throughout human history.

These are clear reasons which prove that something terribly abnormal and wrong exists in human conduct in relation to love and its sexual expression. It need to be corrected, if not, we will never find true and lasting happiness on this world.

True worldwide peace and harmony does not begin on the national level, but in the perfection of our moral character. This is where worldwide peace starts. Each one of us is the true starting point of a better and more ideal world. We need to completely restore our spiritual sensitivity, so that we can never mistreat or harm others. We must come to feel the suffering and pain of others as our own.

We have to recognize, therefore, that of all the transformations which affected the destiny of history, the biggest and most important transformation has yet to be realized.

Of all the battles that have ever been fought, the most fundamental one is yet to come. That is the internal struggle in which each one of us individually to finally overcome immorality within ourselves. We must thus purify and liberate ourselves. To be more specific, we must erase false and illicit love completely from our heart and memory. Such love has poisoned humanity for such a long time.

We realize that these are high goals to reach, and that most people who are successful will rely on some strong moral or religious belief to enable them to go against the tide of prevailing permissive attitudes. And yet, we do believe that they are attainable goals, and the most worthwhile guidelines towards the fulfillment of true love.


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