Articles From the August 1994 Unification News


Martians and Venusians in (Sun) Light of the Principle

by Richard Ramras - Brooklyn, NY

The recent bestseller, Dr. John Gray's "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," strikes me as very much an inspired, prophetic "revelation" even though it rarely uses Christian, biblical or religious terminology to make its points. (Towards the end, reference is made to writing a "Love Letter" not only to one's spouse or parent or boss but even to "God or one's Higher Power"; this is, however, the exception to what is basically a book written in humanistic, psychological or "horizontal" terms about how to overcome the inevitable problems, crises and even disasters of spousal-and other- relationships.) His book has the feel of an "earthshaking" milestone in the field of relationship-and- communications self-help works, really capturing the flavor of the day-to-day realities of "intergalactic warfare" which seemingly pedestrian married life can often simulate.

In the International Healing Foundation's recent seminars held at the World Mission Center over the past months here in New York, Richard Cohen had quoted some "Mars/Venus" excerpts, recommending this book and including it on his "Suggested Reading" booklist. I was very impressed by the quotes, but until recently never read the book. Casually leafing through a page or two didn't motivate or inspire me enough to make the plunge-but somehow, I got started and found it was "really something else"!

Somehow, through whatever magic inspires the author of a "special book," Dr. Gray seems to have caught the essence of "why things go wrong" so far from the intentions of either husband or wife, at least on the verbal level. Although, without the Principle, there is definitely no way to attack the roots of the problems of all men and women, "Mars/Venus" definitely provides a unique analysis of a critical aspect of one of the "buds" or "fruits" husbands and wives contend with every hour: the words we speak to each other in conjunction with the manner and tone of our give and take-and the effort we make to understand, to deal with and responsibly to control or discipline the expression of our emotions for the sake of, and by means of, calm and sincere sharing of loving, honest truth in service to our spouse, our family and our own individual being.

We can look at Dr. Gray's basic point as an elaboration of the deep principled truth that there is a basic difference between the male and female aspects of God, mankind and all creation: in his book he employs a metaphor stating that men and women are different species of being-coming from two entirely different cultures-and that unless this is acknowledged as basically a fundamental ground axiom of relating to one's spouse, there is little hope for getting beyond the otherwise inevitable fireworks of married miscommunication. From this axiomatic premise, some incredible insights are possible into "what goes wrong" in the hassles of daily life. Dr. Gray also provides methods to deal with these problems, involving concrete steps to apply consistent formulas of response to the challenges of getting along with, serving and loving one's significant-and beloved-other.

Beyond the practical value of Dr. Gray's work is the philosophical implications of a volume such as this appearing and remaining on the bestseller list for a considerable time. It seems to be in keeping with the millennial specialness of our Completed Testament brand-new day that millions should be inspired by a book proclaiming men and women as embodying fundamentally different natures beyond the reductionist unisex viewpoint and the discredited, politically correct, simplistic humanism of the radical egalitarian social-engineering advocates. These aspects alone make Dr. Gray's "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" worth circulating among our nearest and dearest. One more among the rapidly increasing number of axial ideas whose time has come?


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