The Words of the Hyun Jin Moon
Building an Ideal Family Centered on True Love
Hyun Jin Moon
December 29, 2005
This address was given at the 2005 Service For Peace Global Family Festival on December 29. 2005 at the Cheongshim Youth Center, Chung Pyung, Korea After the ceremony of the "International Cross-Cultural Blessing of Marriage for World Peace," all newlywed Blessed Couples joined this festival organized by Service For Peace.
I see a lot of good looking young people here. I didn't know what kind of audience I would be speaking to today, so I was somewhat not prepared. Yet, actually when I come in here and see all these young faces, all of a sudden something's stirring up within me. Shall I speak in English or Korean? I don't know Japanese well. (Laughter) The funny thing is, in our Unification Church, there's always this dilemma. Because people from all different countries gather, I have to think about what language to use.
The people who are gathered here today, how many of you received the Blessing today? Oh, everybody. Then I will speak in English and in Korean. Is that OK? That is why I have this good-looking translator following me around. He is bilingual in both Korean and English, and he is fluent in both languages.
So what is appropriate for me to talk about today? True love? World peace? True family? Owing the Culture of Heart? Oh, a lot of good topics to talk about. Because you received the Blessing today, maybe it's good to talk about the "ideal family." When you talk about the topic of ideal family, in that, you can find the root of peace. In that, you can find true love. In that, you can find true life. In that, you can find true lineage.
Why is that the case? As an individual. can you truly find happiness? When you see the most beautiful woman in the world, yet she is living alone, you ask her the question, "Are you happy?" or "Are you fulfilled?" What do you think her answer might be? Or you might ask the most accomplished, great looking, powerful man, yet he has no loved ones -- he has no wife, he has no family, and you ask him, "Are you fulfilled?" or "Are you happy'?" What do you his reply would be? What do you think the answer is?
Do you think that the woman will say. 'Yes. I am the most beautiful woman in the world. As I look into the mirror and I see my face, I am totally entranced at how beautiful I am, how the composition of my face is so perfect! My eyes are big and deep. My mouth is soft and supple and bright red. The color of my skin is ivory white. I rejoice in my own beauty." Do you think that woman will feel like that? What about the man? "I am so smart! I conquered the world! The world is my oyster. I have all the prestige and power that one man could seek and fill every ambition that any man could have."
Yet, if that man is alone, do you really feel that he is happy or fulfilled? Doesn't the world tell him or her that he or she is in one sense chosen? You are in one sense the lucky one if you are beautiful, or if you are powerful. The world seems as if these are the conditions in which happiness could be built. Yet, if you were to actually ask those individuals who might be in that kind of position, do you think they are really happy and fulfilled?
If you ask that question, and if you reflect deeply, all of you already know the answer. Regardless of what one has, if there is no object figure to rejoice in that those individuals. In other words, human beings, by definition, cannot find happiness in themselves. They find happiness through others.
Especially, parent and child relationship is a very good example. Do you think children are born into this world not wanting to be filial sons and daughters? Or they eventually go their own paths for some other reasons? Same with parents. Don't you think when parents bring children into this world; they want to show the kind of love that gives the children the nurturing, so they become filial sons and daughters? Yes or no? Yes. The way the parent-child relationship is such that through love. Children want to become filial sons and daughters because they feel the love of the parents, and vice versa: As children give filial piety back to their parents, then the parents feel fulfilled. And therefore, both parent and child feel validated in that relationship.
Same thing with husband and wife. The husband says, "Oh, I am the man! I am the subject position. You have to listen to me!" Or, woman says, "Well, the society says that you as a man have to serve me as a woman. Especially if you come from the west, you have to open the door for me." If you place those conditions on each other, do you think you'll have a harmonious relationship or you'll be constantly bickering and fighting amongst yourselves? What do you think? Constantly bickering.
The way to peace then, within all these relationships -- would it be parent and child, husband and wife, brother and sister -- is to live for the sake of others. Recognizing that validation of my life, the validation of all that I can contribute, comes from others, and by living for their sake, I bring about the validation in their lives, and vice versa. Then my life gets validated. A family that strives to live under that paradigm will find peace. A family that strives to live under that paradigm will have true love as the cornerstone of which that family can grow. Amen, no-men? ("Amen!") Because what is true love? True love is living for the sake of others.
So what have we accomplished thus far? We've accomplished that irregardless of what talents or what elements I can give as an individual, the full fulfillment of that on an individual level can only happen once I live for the sake of somebody else, because in the process of living for the sake of somebody else I not only validate that being, but I also validate myself. That is how one finds happiness. That is the root and the basis upon which true love is built.
What can we say about true life then? A life filled with true love will ultimately produce true life. In the Garden of Eden, God wanted to substantiate, in His first family, an ideal family centered upon true love, substantiating true life -- those individuals who are practicing true love. Many times we talk about true love but we do not practice it! That is the problem. How you substantiate true life is in the practice and the living of true love. That means in the living for the sake of others. This becomes not just something that I say, but it becomes who I am, what I am. Then you can say that man or woman who lives for the sake of others, who strives to live for we r the sake of others, is a man or a woman who has substantiated true life.
Now as that man or woman who has substantiated true life has been blessed by God, then that man and woman can create a substantial family of true love, and thereby substantiate true lineage. But where does it start then? Where does it start? I know all of you recognize the value of true love as a concept, as an ideal. It has to become a reality. The way it becomes reality is through living for the sake of others. This is where it starts.
Does it mean that's an easy course? Sometimes you brothers and sisters fight, right? Most likely they have sibling arguments. But at the end of the day, if they live for the sake of others, all those arguments can go away. It's very interesting. People who come from well-grounded families, where there is really a substantial true love relationship that exist between a husband and a wife, parent and child, brothers and sisters, they are the kind of people that are somewhat universal. They can go out into the world beyond the fold of one's family and be able to serve others with that same spirit. Why? Because the family is the school of love. Where you become the owner of true love is inside the family.
Why was it that in the Garden of Eden, through Adam's first family, the seed of everything that we see destructive were laid? It was within Adam's family that it was laid. Wasn't there deception in the relationship between Adam and Eve? Wasn't there violence and death in the relationship between Cain and Abel? Aren't those the seeds that we see repeated over and over again, carried onward generation after generation after generation? As Adam's family grew to tribes, grew to nations, did we not see that same conflict being played over, that same drama being played over and over again? How then do you address the issues of peace, the issues of reconciliation? That is why family is that important. It holds the secret to how peace can come about in mankind.
When we talk about true love, true love cannot become conceptual, it has to become reality, it has to be learned. When we talk about God, when True Father refers to God and the lonely heart that God has, or when one prays and is able to touch upon the heart of God, is God filled with rejoicing happiness, or sorrow? Why is that the case? Because God Himself has not been fulfilled in the relationship of true love. Because he has not partaken in the type of relationship he wanted to have with humanity ever since the he' inning of human creation. This is something that can only happen through experience, only happen through that reciprocating relationship. It is not conceptual. It has to be grounded in one's experience of love. That means through living for the sake of others.
Where are STF members? Please raise your hands. You mean you came out of STF to get blessed? How many years of STF did you finish? Two years? OK. Among you STF members who got blessed this time, how many of you did just one year? Raise your hands. Oh! At least you have to do two years. Maybe you came here to receive the Blessing because you didn't want to fulfill the second year of STF, I don't know. When I think about the best training for Second Generation to receive the Blessing, I think it is STF. Why?
What is the fundamental training all about? The fundamental training is living for the sake of others -- how to start living for the sake of others. How do you teach that? Like I've said, living for the sake of others is not conceptual. You learn in the process of doing, in relating with an object figure with the spirit of true love which is living for that person's sake. It is the process of doing that over and over again that it becomes a habit to you, it becomes a part of your life style, it becomes a part of who you are. That type of a person then stands here before God, True Parents, and True Family, and says, "I want to receive the Blessing." Would you not think that kind of person would be more prepared to take on that responsibility to build true families of their own, to early on the tradition of true love in their families thereby substantiating true life and true lineage? Do you not think that should be the ideal process?
Especially in terms of education given to Second Generation, before it used to be a lot of lectures. Divine Principle lectures, sitting in a classroom just listening to a lot of lectures. I looked at them and I looked at the lecturer, and I looked at them and looked at the lecturer, the kids were falling asleep. (Laughter) Not only that. Then when they had to do activities they complained. "Oh, do we have to do this? I came here because I wanted to socialize with my other Second Generation friends." In other words, the education of heart was being neglected because the experience-based education of emphasizing living for the sake of others was not being emphasized.
Do you want to live centered on true love? Do you want to live sake for the others? Do you think the way to live for the sake of others is easy? You must have much strength. Why? Why do you have to live for the sake of others? If you want to become the owner of true love, you have to live for the sake of others. The owner of true love can move heaven and even move a hard husband. He can also move a rock-like wife. True love has this kind of power. I also came from a big family. Do you think we all think alike? Is it a big problem that we don't think alike? However, if you make effort centered on true love, all of those differences become one and become equalized. True love has this kind of power.
If you know this and feel it, especially the young people who are idealistic, even though there may be many hardships along the way, do you think that young person centered on true love will have the confidence to change a nation and the world? Is this a theory? A Ph.D. can say, "I have studied 20 years and conducted thousands of interviews. To bring world peace, economically, politically, we must do this, this and this." When you compare that to a young person who has experienced the power of true love, believes in this truth and goes forward, who do you think can bring about world peace? Why? Because from what all of the erudition that the Ph.D. might have, it is all theory and book knowledge. The one that has ownership over true love, the one who has seen the power of true love in the relationships that he or she builds, not only within their family, but also outside their family knows for a fact as an absolute truth in the power of true love, to transform and move others, to build relationships of peace and love. Amen!
That is why the question is not how much education you have. It's not a matter of how articulate you are or a matter of how good looking you are, or how pretty you are, but if you are the owner of true love, willing to live for the sake of others. Someone who becomes the owner of true love will become the peace maker, will have a life that is fulfilled, will find value not only in himself or herself, but in everyone he comes in contact with. Amen, no-men? ("Amen!")
Does it seem right or wrong?
Think about it. If man were created in the image of God, don't you think God would have bestowed upon humanity that which is the character that resembles him most and the ability to recognize what is the most precious or valuable? As a father, when I look upon my children, I can see the miracle of life and see all that all my hopes have been. In terms of what my children are endowed with, have come to pass miraculously. It is a dream of every parent to give to their children that is most precious. What about God? Then what is it that is most precious? What is it that God deems to be the most precious? What do you think? True love, living for the sake of others!
So, as one becomes the owner of true love, he substantiates true life and true lineage. Those are the natural process, but the first step is you have to live for the sake of others. It is appropriate that today I'm speaking to you Blessed Couples that are striving to establish ideal families which are rooted in true love, true life, and true lineage. It is appropriate that the umbrella in which I am coming to speak to you is Service For Peace.
I remember when I first came up with the idea that we need to create Service For Peace. I remember there was a lot of reluctance in the beginning. "We're already doing service activities; we're already doing charitable activities; we're already doing humanitarian aid activities." I said, "No, that's not what I mean. That is the by-product of service, but that is not what I mean by my vision for Service For Peace. Service For Peace should become a new wave or movement, a wind that sweeps over humanity, that change the fundamental culture that we see in humanity -- from that which is self-centered to that which is living for the sake of others." So the process of service for peace is not doing good deeds. It is a process of reflection of oneself and all those around them. It is a fundamental change in culture.
To recap, how do you become the owner of true love? Through living for the sake of others, practicing it, living that life! Service for Peace was an organization that I created to teach young people, old people, whoever to live that life of service, to live for the sake of others that it becomes their own culture, that it becomes who and what they are. Living for the sake of others, not in concept but in reality! Then you can become the owner of true love. Amen, families, no-men? ("Amen!")
So the chairman of Service For Peace, Tom Phillips, what have you planned to do today in terms of service projects for all these newlywed Blessed Couples? Do you all want to join in that you are service project? Yes or no? ("Yes!") Then will you also take your parents, or tell them, "It is hard work, please stay home. Hyun Jin Nim says we have to go so I'll go." Or will you go joyfully as a family? How do you want to do it? My children and I have a lot of fun together sometimes. Especially you young people might think I am a very serious person. I don't know if you might have thought of me like that. But when I am with my kids. I have a lot of fun
Although they are Korean, they have lived in America for a long time so they can have a good time with American kids as well. When I ask them whether like this they are American or Korean, they answer, "I am an American." However, when my wife hears this, she replies, "How can you say that? You are Korean! Your parents are Korean and your grandparents are Korean!" I just listen with interest. (Laughter) There are many problems because of identity of nationality. We are international people. If we think of ourselves as one family centered on true love, is a nation or the color of one's skin a problem? Whether you have a Muslim background or a Christian background, is this a problem? The culture of true love is very simple. It's living for the sake of others. Don't Africans know living for the sake of others? Don't they know love? When they experience love can't they feel that they are being loved? They can feel it. Love is universal. We must become international people.
So think about it. If you live centered upon true love, how much more wonderful a couple can you become? When you have kids, a Korean and a Japanese together, then what nationality is your child? International! Cheon I1 Guk person! You must become that kind of person, right' Amen, no-men? ("Amen!") Especially, because there are many international marriages, if you can raise a good family, you can create the solution for world peace on the most basic of levels. Is it true? Then all these separations will start to go away.
Tom Phillips, your wife is Korean, right? Japanese? Your wife is Japanese, you are American. So then what is your son? Half Japanese, half American. And now he has a Korean daughter-in-law. So what are their children going to be? This is why international marriages are so important. It's not just conceptual. It starts breaking down those walls directly in your face, in your families. As you build solutions in your families, as you build those bridges that bring together husband and wife, and then raise your children out of that union centered upon true love, then you are building the solutions for world peace in the most basic levels of human relationships. Amen, no-men? ("Amen!") So you are living the life of a peacemaker. Do you like that concept? ("Yes.")
How many of you are international married couples? Raise your hands. A lot of you! Amen! You are setting a good precedent. Are you going to set a good precedent or a bad precedent? Because you are a Cheon I1 Guk person, there is no other nation. The entire globe is our nation. How good is that? Is it good or not? If the entire globe is our nation, is the concept of "I am a Korean, I am a Japanese, or I am an American" a good thing or a bad thing? What about "He is a white person, He is a black person, or He is an oriental person"? Do you like this or not? ("No.") Are we going to look from that point of view or as an owner of Cheon I1 Guk see world from the view of true love? What are you going to do? A Cheon 11 Guk person is an inter-national person. We must look at the world from the perspective of true love. Amen, No-men? ("Amen!") Can you do it or not? If you can do it, please raise your hands.
If a couple can live with this kind of perspective, then they can live a happy life. Even God must see your family with interest saying, "This family is fun to watch! I want to live there." God might have this kind of thought. Do you like this? ("Yes.") That is why living for the sake of others brings that kind of fulfillment and happiness. If you live for the sake of true love, you can build true life, build true lineage, and build true family. If you build a true family, then it becomes the building block for the Kingdom of Heaven. Amen!
Since you all have received the Blessing, if you live a fun life centered upon true love, you can become the family that can build the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. Do you understand? ("Yes.") Can you live like that? ("Yes!") If you can live with that level of ownership, then it is over. I don't need to speak anymore. Amen, no-men? ("Amen!") You are listening with so much joy. How long did I speak for? Song? This is so strange. I came here to give a speech, how can I sing a song? (Laughter) I didn't finish my speech yet, how can you say to sing a song? (Laughter) Now, you have to pay me to sing a song. (Laughter) But what's better than money is love.
When I spoke last year, I said I'd rather live in a small house than a big one if I can find true love. No matter how much one has, if there is no true love, he is not fulfilled, and he cannot find happiness. How about God? Do you think God is similar or not?
More than anything else in this world, God wants to find true love. Therefore God wants to find and become an owner of a person who lives centered on true love, a family that lives centered on true love, a nation that lives centered upon true love. If you want to build this kind of a world, you all must become owners of true love. Amen, no-men? ("Amen!") So if I can feel love, I will sing! True love is great because you don't have to say anything, you can feel it. So how much love is in this place? Let me feel it. [Hyun Jin Nim sings a song.]
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