The Words of Hak Ja Han (Mrs. Sun Myung Moon)

The True Mother I Know - A View from Beside the Mother of Heaven

Won Ju Jeong McDevitt
February 6, 2003

In 2003 in honor of True Mother's sixtieth birthday

I was born in Seoul. I joined the church in 1968 and I was blessed in Madison Square Garden to Michael McDevitt in the 2,075-couple Blessing Ceremony. As a member of the Little Angels, which was formerly called the Han-Seon Dance Troupe, I enhanced the recognition of Korean culture and art at home and abroad. From 1982 until now, I have been supporting President Hak Ja Han as her aide and as an assistant on her global speaking tours and at various events.

You cannot attain love by yourself. Where does love come from? It does not come from me but from my object partner. Therefore, I must lower my head for my object partner and live for the sake of my partner. This is where the law of nature "live for others" comes from. The base of love is not within me but within my object partner, so in order to obtain that love I must sacrifice for that person.

When I had to read this during a morning Hoon Dok Hae session, I felt strong emotion welling up from deep within me. What is in some respects common knowledge shook me to the core on that day, with the realization that all their lives True Parents have been living for the "object partner."

Father followed the sacrificial path of true love for the sake of victoriously completing the course of restoration through indemnity according to strict guidance from Heaven. Mother has been living a sacrificial life alongside her husband for her children and for Unification Church members. I would like to emphasize at the beginning of my testimony that what they say does not end once it is spoken but is the embodiment of both individuals. In particular, as it says in the quotation above from Blessing and Ideal Family, the base of love is with the object partner, Mother, who has now turned sixty years old, and who has sacrificed amidst the flood of Father's love and become one in mind and heart with Father. I would like to record the order of events that happened from the perspective of a member who has attended True Mother for the past twenty-one years.

Won Ju (Jeong) McDevitt reading Hoon Dok Hae in front of True Parents, something she did for a few hours every morning

After being matched in October 1978, I worked with the Collegiate Association for the Research of the Principle (CARP) for three years before being reunited with Michael McDevitt in July 1982 and receiving the blessing among the 2,075-couple blessing group. I was called to East Garden in October of that year. My husband Michael had been working as part of the East Garden security staff since 1973, and he still gives his all with unchanging faith.

After arriving at picturesque East Garden and entering the kitchen, I met Mother, who came out to give various directions. I was so surprised that I did a full bow right there on the kitchen floor. She seemed glad to see me and said in a lovely voice, "You're here. Now let's get to work." She left me wiping tears away with one hand while nodding my head. I was extremely inadequate but when Mother greeted me with a broad smile, I knew from that moment on that as a daughter of Korea I would give my body and soul to serve True Parents with an unchanging heart. Twenty-one years have passed since that time, and I was afraid as to how I could express True Parents' (specifically Mother's) difficult course.

Morning Garden, Gloucester

A village called Gloucester is situated about twenty miles north of Boston. A house where True Parents could stay was prepared there in 1980, while I was on CARP in Los Angeles. A stately, attractive, beautiful house sits near the coast. Naturally, renovating and decorating it was Mother's responsibility. That year Mother carried one-year-old Hyung Jin nim on her back and did the decorating herself. She decorated and renovated every single part of the house from the first floor all the way to the third floor. She went all over downtown Boston to select furniture to buy. True Mother still smiles today when she reminisces about those days.

Tuna fishing began in 1974. The house was not ready then, so we lived in different motels. At that time, Mother was known for a particular dish, called Sausage Bibimbap. When there were few side dishes to eat with rice, she would julienne kimchi, add sausage, gravy, hot pepper paste and sesame oil and stir-fry it. Father said he loved it and would sometimes ask Mother to make this Bibimbap when he had lost his appetite. During those days, after she had gone back to East Garden, True Mother would receive sudden calls summoning her at 2:00 Am; whenever that happened, True Mother would set off for Morning Garden and travel through the dark for a few hours. She would have to stay in Gloucester for ten or twenty days until tuna was caught.

Danbury Legal Issues

Father's legal troubles began in 1982. Despite his best efforts, Father having to go to Danbury prison became definite on May 14, 1984. The entire family was holding hands and praying when True Mother burst into tears. Father said not to cry and explained the providential significance behind what was occurring. Before Father left for Danbury, Mother called the East Garden staff to her second-floor bedroom. Mother had beautifully wrapped some jewelry that she had and spread it out in front of her. She said, "Please pick one each. Carry one of these with you and let us pray hard for Father." We offered prayers of determination together in Mother's bedroom and then left the room.

On July 20, 1984, after traveling with Father to Danbury prison, Mother returned alone. Even though she came back alone, she gathered the members and spoke. Father said he would return as if from a trip and went into Danbury smiling. It was incredible. That was when Jeong Jin nim was a mere two years old. Mother took Jeong Jin nim to Danbury prison every day.

In September 1984, religious figures in Washington D.C. held a rally. There, mother gave the keynote speech. After calmly delivering the opening speech, she went to see Father in Danbury, returned in time for the closing and conveyed Father's greetings and a message from him. Wearing a dark blue jacket, her eyes full of tears, she confidently gave a speech in English to the academics and religious figures in Father's place.

During this time, Mother and the children diligently held prayer vigils at the holy ground. Even Hyo Jin nim prayed hard with holy candles. Mother was the epitome of dedication. The tradition of praying with holy candles at the holy ground in East Garden started then. Members of the staff have conducted prayer sessions there every day since, without fail.

Mother, accompanied by Won Ju (Jeong) McDevitt and Yukiko Cox, catches a pink salmon

The Kodiak, Alaska, Providence

The first time I went to Kodiak, they had not yet established a place where True Parents could stay. At first, they used a small house next to the International Seafoods of Alaska factory building and office. I remember it was tiny. In 1986, construction of the Kodiak church building and a house that True Parents could use was finally completed. Father gave the house the name North Garden. Salmon fishing began in earnest from June. Fishing for king salmon in June preceded fishing for red salmon in, July and for silver salmon in August and September. Though every year varied a little in dates, whenever the breeding season started, salmon that had gone far into the ocean returned to their home river, where they spawned and then died. In order to fish for king salmon, we had to leave Kodiak for another place.

Around May 1988, Father suddenly went to the Kenai River to fish for king salmon. The Kenai is quite distant from even Anchorage, the largest city in Alaska. Anyone that wanted to stay in the area had to make reservations for lodgings and charter boats a year in advance. Father, Mother, two of Father's special assistants -- Peter Kim and Ki Byung Yuk -- plus one fishing assistant and I just went there but there was no place to stay.

As soon as we arrived, Father headed straight for the river. Mother, Assistant Yun and I went to find a place to stay. We luckily found a place, but we would have to check out of it the next day. We put down whatever light belongings we had brought with us, looked around the house, and then cleaned up and organized the whole place. We had to prepare dinner. There was neither rice nor hot pepper paste to speak of.

The wild environment of Alaska and Brazil are pitifully dirty. I got goose bumps at the sight of the filth; yet, Mother's expression did not change. She just set about scrubbing away stains. After cleaning the house, Mother and I went to find a supermarket. We had not brought anything with us; so we looked around at this and that, selecting items to buy. Using the ingredients we had purchased, we made a vegetable soup, similar to kimchi soup. We could not have imagined how popular the onions, potatoes, beef, Mexican pepper and ketchup boiled together in a stew would be for Father and his company returning back from a rainy day of fishing. That night Father called several more Japanese and Korean leaders to join us.

Won Ju (Jeong) McDevitt, the son of then-President Choi of International Seafoods of Alaska, True Mother and the wife of boat captain Alan Hokanson fishing for salmon

Early the next morning, Father and his company set out in the pre-dawn dark to where the salmon would be waiting in the Kenai River. Mother did all of Father's laundry and I did the rest. Now we had to pack everything to get ready to move to a new place. I told Mother that I would do it and she need not worry herself. Nevertheless, after she had finished packing True Parents things, she proceeded to help pack the kitchen items. We had to move each day for about four days. Fortunately, Assistant Yun found a place, after that, where we could stay for a week. As we had done the day before, we completely cleaned the house and then went to the supermarket.

I learned many things in my twenty-one years with Mother. Frugality was one of them. As a person who thinks scientifically when organizing, she always achieved methodical order, with never any waste. The extent of Mother's organizational skills and frugal mind-set perplexed most people. I always thought that anything for True Parents should be in pristine condition and that one should not negotiate the price when purchasing for True Parents. I thought it was better to spend more money when buying something for them. When I came to East Garden, though, I could see that I had been wrong.

For example, after eating at a McDonald's, Mother would save the leftover ketchup packets. When going out to eat, I usually ordered enough food for more than the actual number of people, to avoid not having enough. Whenever extra food was ordered, however, Mother would tell me, What if there are some leftovers? We have to be economical.

After completing all of our cleaning, we packed lunch and took it out to Father, who was on the Kenai River. He had promised to meet us when he left in the morning. Father's boat approached the meeting place at the promised time. Father and Mother were so glad to see each other, as if they had not seen each other for several days; it was a very beautiful thing to watch. After disembarking, we all went to a small restaurant and ordered some food to eat alongside what we had packed. As we ate, Father spoke about the beauty surrounding the Kenai River and asked Mother to go fishing with him.

Mother feeding young Sun Jin nim

Entering Moscow

After finishing the Yankee Stadium and Washington Monument rallies in 1976, Father began emphasizing, "Must go -- Moscow!" for the next rally in Moscow. In April 1990, the time had come for our first entry into Moscow, a place we could not even imagine going to. Mother was always thorough and detailed in everything she did, whether it was preparations or planning. She had worked painstakingly even over small things. Because it was a significant rally in God's providence, True Parents dealt meticulously with all the preparations and even paid careful attention to each of the gifts. At the time, it was inconceivable that anyone would go to Moscow. To get on the plane, we had to arrive at the airport early enough to go through the entry procedure. However, just before takeoff, we realized that the gifts that had been prepared had not yet arrived. In the airport, Mother asked me if I had brought them. I became extremely disconcerted all of a sudden. I boarded the plane feeling apologetic and conscience-stricken. Fortunately, however, Jung Hyeon Park, Park Sang-kwon, and Ilyeong Tae Kim, who came on the next plane, had found the gifts stored in an out of the way place in East Garden and were able to pass through customs with them. Upon arrival, the custom officers let the gifts go through after we persuaded them that Rev. Moon intended to give them to Russian people. The uncertainty and anxiety that we felt until the gifts arrived was indescribable.

The anxiety remained throughout our stay in Moscow. The meals prepared for True Parents had meat but few vegetables. The situation was such that they could not eat the meat. Eventually, I headed to the kitchen, and using the rice and hot pepper paste I had brought with me, I created a few dishes and laid them out on the table. I was experiencing morning sickness at the time, but I felt I had to push myself more than usual after seeing True Parents' complete dedication. They were giving their all, and I saw that members from the communist bloc were working very hard.

Mother was majestic as the mother of heaven in Moscow. She looked very dignified taking the lead in greeting the Russian first lady, who had come to see the Little Angels performance, shaking hands and talking cheerfully with her. She maintained her confident and graceful comportment as she met the top leaders, first ladies and the executive leaders of that region. As she met members living in the communist bloc nations for the first time, she was saddened by how they had lived without freedom in dire circumstances. She treated them with sincere warmth.

Something happened when we went to Ukraine as part of a world tour in 1995. When we got there, we learned that the authorities would not allow Father to deliver his speech, nor would they allow him to speak to those who were waiting outside the hall. Though many members from surrounding nations(' had traveled long distances at great expense to attend Father's speech, only the national leader and a limited number of members were able to fit into True Parents hotel room. Others waited outside the hotel. True Parents could only look down at those members from their hotel balcony with tears in their eyes over being so close yet so far from them.

True Parents enjoying some time with their children

To North Korea through Hawaii

In November 1991, before entering North Korea via Beijing to meet Kim Il-sung, the president of North Korea, True Parents prepared for the meeting in Hawaii. I was unaware of any of these preparations when going there. Mother's only instruction to me was that we were going to Hawaii and would need winter clothes. I did wonder why, but I never imagined where we would be going next.

Dr. Bo Hi Pak and his wife, Peter Kim, Ki Byeong Yun and my husband and I were with True Parents. While True Parents were in Hawaii, they traversed the main island offering conditions. On the last day in Hawaii, Mother said we would be leaving for North Korea and that this information was top secret. I got goose bumps all over when I heard from Mother that we would be going to North Korea. I was so surprised that I became speechless. My not being aware of the immense work True Parents were doing, even though I had been right by their sides, was the cause of my surprise.

When we first arrived in Beijing, we were told that American citizens were not permitted to enter the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Those of us with South Korean citizenship could enter and Yeop Ju Hwang of China joined us. My husband was among those that had to remain behind. Kim Il-sung's special private jet came from North Korea to Beijing to transport True Parents and their entourage. I was not sure if this was a dream or reality. Beautiful North Korean flight attendants came and greeted us warmly. I was overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry. I also cried tears of fear. I was most concerned about True Parents' personal safety. When the airplane landed on the runway, I had goose bumps all over and mixed emotions -- half anticipation and half concern.

Even in such a tense situation, Mother smiled without reservation and was glad. As soon as the airplane crossed the Chungchun River, Mother reflected on the past. "Oh, that is the Changchun River, where General Euljimundeok fought the Battle of Salsu." She even spoke about the wise tactics used to win the battle.

Finally, our party' reached Pyongyang, which we had heard so much about. Father's older sister and relatives were waiting for us. Upon seeing his sisters at the airport, Father introduced Mother to them as "my wife." Father's older brother's wife also came on that occasion.

A Condition to Undo Communism

Something happened on December 3, 1991. After the days' activities, I was sleeping in my room. I could not lock the door from the inside and was scared to be sleeping all alone. The hallway was as bright as day. I was sleeping when I suddenly heard the door open. I woke up frightened. Mother came in and said softly in my ear, "Quietly tell everyone to put on their suits and gather in our room by 3:00 Am." I conveyed the message without understanding the message itself. At 2:00 AM, I treaded carefully down the hall, entered Peter Kim's room and conveyed Mother's message. He conveyed the message to the others. Everyone had come by 3:00 AM. This was how we held a special prayer service.

A high point in True Parents' efforts to bring about unification of the Korea's was their visit to North Korea. Father did not focus on his family while there, but True Parents visited Father's boyhood family home and met relatives

Meeting Kim Il Sung

On December 5, we went to the Hamhung Visitor's Center to meet the North Korean president. Father had lived in Hamhung before he had to go to Hungnam. We arrived at the visitors' center just as it started to grow dark and then unpacked.

The next day, we left for President Kim's residence to meet him. The residence was square and built with white stones. President Kim stood waiting for True Parents. At that moment, I thought of a speech contest during my school days where the speaker yelled, "Let's overthrow that Red Monster, Kim Il Sung!"

As soon as they met, the two embraced.

They greeted each other and after having a photograph taken, they headed toward the dining room. The table was absolutely splendid. Food came one course at a time. We ate twenty-one meals over seven days, but never was the same dish served more than once. Different food was served at each meal. Even the rice came in various types. No repetition occurred in the type of rice in the twenty-one meals we ate. I asked Father how there could be so many different types of rice. He said that in North Korea they have more than two hundred types. I remembered him saying that according to the royal palace records, there are about 332 different types. Different rice cakes came with each meal; I will never forget the taste of a pumpkin-flavored rice cake that was like pound cake.

The atmosphere when dining with Kim Il-sung was very harmonious. President Kim expressed his sincere respect for Father and treated him well. President Kim invited Father to go hunting with him in May on Myohyang Peak, and Father invited the North Korean president to go fishing with him in Alaska. President Kim said, "I ordered sesame noodles made from frozen potatoes especially for President Moon and his wife." They had a toast with blueberry wine that tasted like juice. The small glasses that were used for the toast could be used to avoid death penalties if shown. Father and Kim Il Sung naturally both ended up signing the menu. Father signed one for Kim Il-sung, and President Kim signed one for Father. Both then signed together for the entourage. President Kim signed the face of a menu, and Father signed the blank side on the back.

Even then, Mother was dignified. It felt as if women in North Korea are entities that remain at home and do not present themselves for such events. A wife cannot walk alongside her husband. She must always walk a few steps behind him. The guide pushed Mother, and would always maintain his spot next to Father, but Father always held Mother's hand wherever they went. Father's consideration of Mother was quite something.

Before Mother left for North Korea, she did some shopping in Seoul and bought thick coats for North Korean officials and Father's relatives. She was very glad when she met his relatives. She was saddened at seeing their difficult lives and treated them warmly. Upon meeting a niece who was of marriageable age, she asked her, "Are you planning to get married?" Mother was very considerate. Father did not express himself; yet, when facing the pained hearts of his relatives, he comforted them considerably and cared for them.

The South American Providence

In December 1994, summertime in South America, fishing was prohibited in the Jardim area. We were visiting for the first time, and we could not fish. We saw rustic countryside. Plains, dotted with many anthills, stretched as far as the eye could see. At times, the heat made breathing difficult. That first year, members had not yet prepared a fixed place for True Parents to stay; therefore, we rented a house to live in. Despite the prohibition on fishing, we were permitted to fish in the river tinder a police escort. The policemen always got into the water and floated on their backs. They watched us fishing, flat on the water with their bellies showing. It was too hot to even breathe, but once we got into the water, we were comfortable enough to fish. Even to eat, True Parents would get into water up to their necks and hold on to the boat.

In Jardim there is a Golden River and a Silver River. Father fished where those two rivers meet. When we first went out to fish, we rode in a boat and looked around. We were doing a lap around the water, when a nice dorado jumped into the boat. Father seemed to have judged this as having providential significance. I witnessed him thinking very deeply and praying. The region was nearly impenetrable. As we moved ahead with the boat, trees would cross our path and we had to duck down. We barely passed through the dense foliage.

The coarseness of the environment is difficult to express in words. True Parents always ate outside. Some trees had fallen into the water because of erosion, making it difficult to fish. So, the people present were counted, and each man paired with a woman to make twenty teams of two. Father and Mother were one team. Each team had a shovel and a scythe and was assigned to clear a fishing area along the riverbank (designated one through twenty). If you go to where the Golden River meets the Silver River, you will find a pavilion; True Father built the steps leading up to the pavilion himself.

The place was crawling with bugs, people were sweating and it was so bad you could hardly breathe. Before the bridge was built, workshop participants had to stand equidistant from one another and remain in place holding an oil-fueled torch; the transportation of goods involved moving from torch-point to torch-point. True Parents also had to follow the line of torches.

At the time, it was an overgrown forest. Whenever it rained, the place would become muddy making it more difficult. Red mud would smear even True Parents' luggage. Several wooden benches were fashioned and placed on the front lawn: True Father would go there at night and speak. There was no concentration of lights, so the stars appeared much closer. The Southern Cross constellation was always above us. Each night Father's clothes became wet with dew while he spoke. There were many mosquitoes and horsefly-type bugs, and True Parents suffered from being bitten here and there. We were pioneering the foundation stage. There were cases of ants hatching eggs on people's heads. Here was where the New Hope Farm Declaration and the Declaration of Absolute Faith, Absolute Love and Absolute Obedience took place.

Exploring the Pantanal

We arrived at a hotel in Caicaras, Brazil, on September 20, 1997, to explore the Pantanal. Though called a hotel, it was more like a cheap motel by Korean standards. This was the last day to prepare for the historic expedition down the Pantanal River, which was supposed to start the next day. Mother was the actual person in charge of preparations. Things Father would be using -- food, household medicines -- were all prepared by Mother. I am not usually very good at organizing things, even if I write down the necessary arrangements. Yet Mother automatically prepares almost everything. She always worked systematically to make things neat and structured. After preparing everything, we boarded a boat to start the historic expedition.

The space on the boat was extremely tight. True Parents had to bathe in a confined space with river water. We heard the water was purified, yet when we saw the state of the boat, we realized that perfect purification was impossible. We could not even think of hot water. It would get so cold that showers had to be taken during the day. Mother would herself organize the room Father would sleep in to make it just a bit more comfortable. Mother thought about everything, including where Father would sit to study and how lie would use the bathroom, and prepared everything so that he could have a comfortable living environment. We set off in the boat early the next morning while doing Hoon Dok Hae on deck. Each day, we did Hoon Dok Hae for about twelve hours amidst attacks from mosquitoes and horseflies; the atmosphere was such that we could not even shoo away the mosquitoes that were biting the back, of our hands.

From September 21, we took off on our Paraguay River expedition starting from far upstream on the river, in Caceres. We drove in stakes every fifty kilometers, but that area was all very dense. Father and Mother would themselves descend from the boat to drive in stakes despite bites from hoards of insects. He would shout, "This is my land," while driving in stakes. After taking a picture and cheering mansei three times, they would re-board.

True Parents severely suffered from insects that looked like ants with wings. The entire boat was covered with wings that fell off these bugs; even opening doors was difficult as a result. Despite living like that for a week, Mother was unchanging in being the epitome of dedication, always trying to make Father happy and comfortable.

One day, after Mother took a bath with cold water, she came out saying, "Members think I gave birth to thirteen children when in fact I gave birth to fourteen. I risked my life to give birth to so many children for the sake of the Unification Church members. Between Kook Jin and Kwon Jin is a five-year gap. I had three or four miscarriages during that time.

That was between 1971 and 1975. When Father had just arrived in the United States and was having severe difficulty, Hyo Jin was twelve years old. Hyo Jin noticed people were taking aim at Father. He would ask, 'Mom, do you want me to teach them a lesson?' Father's safety was in such a critical state. I was so anxious attending Father here and there that I ended up miscarrying several times."

The result of this is that after showering in cold water, she is unable to move for about five minutes. But there was no hot water on the boat and she had no choice but to take cold showers. Mother took cold medicine every day without saying a word the whole time.

Four-City Tour of Japan, 1991

Out of all the providential work that True Parents have been involved in, the world speaking tours and lecture tours were by far their greatest accomplishments. That history reflects True Parents investment, which contributed to the development of the providence. Before 1990, Father mostly gave the speeches and Mother accompanied him. Father would usually give lectures to leaders in the nation in the evening and speak with the general membership at a nighttime assembly.

Mother did speak in the 1980s, but started in earnest in May 1992 with a speech titled "Women's Role in the Ideal World." This began ten years of speaking that would take her to more than a hundred countries, where she would deliver more than six hundred speeches. Mother gave talks in college auditoriums, parliaments and the UN. She spoke in small venues and in large places that could seat more than 50,000 people, like Tokyo Dome and Seoul's Jamsil Stadium. 1993 was the year she gave the greatest number of speeches, 153.

Not only did Mother have a wondrous aura that world leaders could not imitate but her natural voice and beauty charmed many leaders and left a deep impression on them. Also, though Mother felt nervous before giving a speech, she had made thorough preparations by offering conditions.

After a long journey in which she gave more than 150 speeches in a year, her voice grew hoarse and her vision worsened from the bright lights. Despite all these things, Mother did not mind any physical sacrifices. My head bows when thinking of Mother's self-denial.

Father suddenly decided that Mother should give a four-city speaking tour in Japan. He gave her no more than a week to prepare. Father was in Alaska at the time. This was the starting point for Mother's world speaking tour course. The speeches were scheduled to take place in city stadiums in Tokyo, Gifu, Fukuoka and Sapporo. This being her first tour, Mother made extensive preparations. On September 14, 1991, after receiving much love from Father, Mother left with Hyo Jin nim from Alaska for Japan. After arriving at the church headquarters in Tokyo and being welcomed by the members, she appeared to have mixed feelings, perhaps because she had been thinking about how Father was not permitted a visa by Japan. Mother nevertheless conveyed Father's love to the members with a warm smile. She then entered the bedroom, sat on the bed and quietly prayed and cried without anyone knowing. When I saw her in that state, I felt as if my world were crashing down because I realized how much pain we have inflicted on Father's heart through our disloyalty in not fulfilling our responsibilities. A bit later, Mother talked to Father over the phone and said in a voice overflowing with love, "Father, I've arrived in Japan and have talked to the members. It would be nice if you were here, too.... You have to dress warmly when going out to sea. Father, I love you." She then hung up the phone.

At the time of Mother's first speaking tour, few of us had even heard about telephone relays or satellite relays. Father anxiously waited for the speech to start. On her first speaking tour, Mother gave the speech in Korean and Dr. Bo Hi Pak interpreted what she said. Finally, when it was time for Mother to make her entrance, Father called Mr. Kamiyama's cellular phone from Alaska. I think he put the phone next to a speaker. After Mr. Kamiyama asked if Father could hear Mother's voice clearly, Father expressed great joy and listened to the entire speech (about an hour in length at the time). Since then telephone feeds began. These have been followed by satellite relay today. After leaving the stage on that day, Mother was so happy when she heard that Father had listened to her speech from beginning to end.

After a speech ended, Mother would return to the headquarters and listen to the leaders give their impressions. She would then make perceptive remarks about the inadequacies she had observed while generously complimenting and encouraging the leaders for what they had done well on the lecture tour. Members were able to feel Mother's thoughtfulness and deep love at close quarters and became more strongly determined to work hard from then on. Here again I felt how Mother was one in mind and body with Father. Mother, who always used to support Father quietly from the back, was now declaring great truths in front of an audience of 50,000, and she had them under her control.

True Mother, accompanied by her oldest son, Hyo Jin nim (1961-2008) on a speaking tour in 2006

Tours of Colleges and Countries

The second speaking tour of eight cities in Japan was suddenly decided in Alaska in 1992, but this time Mother would have to deliver the speeches in Japanese. Mother did not often use Japanese and was not fluent in it, yet she had to give a speech in Japanese in big stadiums such as Tokyo Dome. You can imagine how difficult Mother's preparation for the speech had to be.

After that tour ended, she started a speaking tour that would take her to forty colleges in Korea. The Korean colleges were buzzing and the atmosphere was extremely tense. While attending Mother on her speaking tour, I witnessed particularly severe incidents on the Korea University and Youngnam University campuses. The atmosphere was so tense that anything could happen at any time or place.

At Youngnam University, college students began pushing and shoving our CARP students outside the hall where Mother was giving her speech. She spoke for about twenty minutes before students almost pushed their way in, causing disorder in the auditorium. Nothing more could be done, so Bong Tae Kim escorted Mother off the stage. I will never forget Mother telling us to read at home the part of the speech that she could not complete because of the debacle. Mother was adamant about finishing her speech on that day; however, though reluctant, she had no other choice in the end because the situation escalated.

When telling Father about the incident over the phone, she took the position of reassuring him. She worried that leaders might have reported the situation to Father in a way that would have worried him; with that in mind, Mother exercised care in explaining the situation to Father. In addition, she always considered it a blessing that it was she and not Father that had to face the situation.

In 1992, she did an eight-city speaking tour in the United States and another in Europe. In the spring of 1993, Mother carried out a thirty-two-city speaking tour on the foundation of a twelve-city speaking tour Father had done in the United States; these were followed by a speech in the United States Capitol on September 7.

The speech was normally prepared as follows. Father would write a draft of the speech manuscript and Mother would touch it up. If the manuscript were in English, the children would help translate it. Mother studied the speech, read and reread it until she felt confident.

Mother once gave a speech in La Paz, the capital of Bolivia, located at an altitude of four thousand meters above sea level. We kept an oxygen tank next to the stage just in case. After the speech was over, Mother thought about the members that had travelled from far away to attend her speech and continued speaking at the victory celebration afterward despite her difficult physical state.

Something interesting occurred during a speaking tour of Europe. Mother, who was suffering from a sore throat, started coughing while giving her speech, and an erstwhile head of state came up and passed her a throat lozenge. She thanked him with a smile, put the candy in her mouth and continued speaking. Everyone feels the urge to cooperate with Mother in those circumstances. Anyone would want to help Mother, an Asian woman giving a speech in English. They were not hostile in the least toward Mother. Everyone's heart softens when meeting mother. People melt in love when they encounter her.

Speaking In Communist Nations

When she first went to communist countries, she suffered internally. Think of her great responsibility over having to save so many tormented spirits. If she had been traveling with Father, it would have been somewhat diminished, but she had to take full responsibility all alone when entering the communist countries. I believe that for Mother the spiritual and physical trials she faced during this tour were indescribable.

We had an interesting experience in Croatia while the region was in the grip of war. Upon entering the hotel room, Mother could sense the presence of spirits that had died miserable deaths and were there seeking salvation. I will never forget the prayer vigil Mother, a female Japanese member that was traveling with us and I had that night.

Meanwhile, our young members that were suffering and yearning for love under communist rule had come to know of Gods will. Joy filled them for their being able to attend Mother in reality. They forgot to sleep in their elation as they attended Mother with all their hearts. I often recollect, even now, the young members' pure, beautiful faces. Mother wanted to give even more to those young members, bring them to a good environment and raise them to become great leaders.

Each time she went to Africa, she had to take malaria preventive pills. Once however, Mother got a prescription with incorrect instructions; the pill should be taken once a week, but the prescription instructed her to take one pill a day. Mother did so for three days and had severe aftereffects. She suffered as if she had contracted malaria. She endured indescribable pain but did not receive treatment; instead, she would travel to a different country every day spreading the word.

A Cheon Il Guk teacher

Just as other women do, Mother suffered from involutional melancholia, but had to persevere and overcome it all alone. Mother always had to think of Father before her own pain and had to work on resolving her children's issues. No matter how difficult it was or how much pain she was going through, she always had a big, beautiful smile for Father as though nothing were wrong. Even when she cried irrepressibly, she would always treat the children and grandchildren with tender love.

Mother did the best she could to maintain Father's health, staying at his side twenty-four hours a day. Even when she saw the difficulties her children were going through, in the face of God's will and Father's expectations, she could not be by their side. Observing the difficult path Mother has followed, putting everything behind her and staying by Father's side, I felt immense gratitude to her. We are here today and can become the owners of this era as we usher in Cheon Il Guk because of Mother. I would like to offer my deepest congratulations to the most beautiful Mother, who just had her sixtieth birthday.

I am confident that I was able to grow spiritually and physically by attending True Parents for twenty-one years at East Garden and through Hoon Dok Hae. True Parents passed down the Hoon Dok Hae tradition long ago. After I began working at East Garden, I have read Hoon Dok Hae in front of Father starting from 4:00 or 5:00 AM every morning for a few hours since 1983, but of course there must have been others doing that from before then. Speeches started to be recorded from 1986. True Parents kept up this daily practice of Hoon Dok Hae without fail, though it was not until 1997 that Father officially established the Hoon Dok Hae tradition. Intoxication in the word has been central to True Parents' lives.

I am truly grateful that my son and daughter were able to grow up well under True Parents' love. Having been raised Catholic, I was always saddened over not being able to carry the cross instead of Jesus, and I was determined to attend Jesus absolutely if he were to return. Hence, I am deeply appreciative and feel it an honor to have been able to attend True Parents, who have come to us in this era. I am infinitely grateful that my loving husband Michael and I have had the opportunity to attend True Parents' family so closely. I repent for not being able to attend True Parents better and I am determined to do my best to serve True Parents' family for as long as I can. 

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