The Words of Rev Sun Myung Moon from 1980
The Necessity Of Prayer
Reverend Sun Myung Moon
June 22, 1980
Belvedere Translator -- Bo Hi Pak
We all understand that prayer is an indispensable element in religious life. Being a religious group, we emphasize prayer. Why? In a word, it is because we haven't fulfilled everything, and because we are not fully equipped to do everything we need to do. From earliest times mankind has been praying, and we can conclude it is because man has not fulfilled what he has wished for.
There are all different levels of prayer, about the individual, family, tribe and so forth. Then why hasn't the purpose of man's religious life already been fulfilled? We know prayer was necessitated by the fall; man is trying to accomplish something left undone by the fall. Whose fault was the fall, God's or man's? We must make sure, because if it wasn't done by the first ancestors of mankind, then some people somewhere must be perfect. If it was true that some individuals became perfect, but a family broke up, then we wouldn't have to pray about the individual. But we know there is no one who is perfect, so the fall must have been caused by the first man and woman.
Then why did the first ancestors fall? Man did not go in the direction God desired; by going in another direction man fell, so where is man's liberty and free will? Before modern times did mankind have liberty? Western countries cherish freedom, especially since the Renaissance. Then where is this freedom to be found?
It is not really freedom to have liberty and then always walk backward, or just do anything you like. In the same way it is not natural to use just one eye, or to plug one ear and listen with the other. Freedom which does not satisfy the Principle is not really freedom. Will freedom be obtained by fulfilling necessary conditions, or does it just come along?
Is freedom necessary for its own sake, or in order to fulfill the ideal? Is freedom itself the ideal? No. It is valuable only because it is necessary for fulfilling the ideal. Actually it is the ideal to be natural in a way that cannot be accused. For example, it is ideal for eyes to blink once in a while; it is torture for eyes not to blink.
The ideal has a direction and freedom has a direction. Human life has a direction; we don't just live aimlessly. Just as an individual has a direction in life, so does history, even though it may seem to move haphazardly. We can even say that God has a certain direction and purpose. When something has an objective, then it has a direction to go in. You got up early this morning and something in your mind kept pointing you toward Belvedere, so now you are sitting here. The fact that you have assembled here shows that you are united in wanting to go a step further in a certain direction, to a higher level.
By meeting True Parents in the morning you come into unity, to see a new direction and really go forward. A succession of this kind of event is what we call development. A person strives for the ideal as an individual, and then moves onto other levels. One result of the fall is that mankind lost direction, and that's how man has been living for thousands of years. The world is in confusion, not knowing where to go or how to find an example.
In order for something to move it has to have energy; that power is just as necessary in human history as in nature. In the confrontation between Russia and America we see that the more powerful of the two pushes the less powerful. Where does this power come from? It is greatest for the nation that has a clear sense of direction.
Power also stems from unity among a nation's people. America is a nation divided internally, with individuals just going their own way and not caring about unity or direction. How about the Unification Church? It has a completely different outlook because it has a different direction and it has unity. Your unity with True Parents is so strong that your parents get upset.
What should we pay most attention to? We unite because we have a certain direction toward a higher level. You have to know whether you have a precise direction, not just an idea of one. It seems true that in the garden of Eden God had a direction. The fall basically meant that God said, "Let's go this way, and man said, "No, let's go this way." So who should follow whom? Why wouldn't it be just as well for God to follow man?
The subject-object situation was absolutely necessary for God, and under the law of creation the subject is always followed by the object. The fall meant that this law was not observed, and today mankind doesn't even know there is such a thing as subject and object. Today many women think they are able to be subject. We know that starting with God and the first ancestors there is subject and object; the subject must love the object, which follows, and they must come into unity by following a clear direction. While they move in that direction they can come into unity.
In history we see that there is a force which is rearranging the confusion of society and directing man toward a certain purpose. Without power or energy we cannot move at all. Certainly some force was necessary for the natural world to come into being, and in history some power has always led men to a desirable direction. It is a realistic conclusion to say that all things are done through energy, or force.
Where does power come from? Power results only from action and reaction. To accomplish a huge task, a huge amount of power is needed, which requires a huge action and response. Before the universe has power it must have the right situation and response. When we eat food it enters the stomach, and when it becomes one with the body it gives us power. Power can only result from action. For example, the response to the food is digestive action. Even scientists recognize that there is great power in the universe, but they fail to recognize that great action preceded that power.
If you really look into what must precede action, you will find that subject and object are absolutely necessary. It is easy to see this principle at work in the natural world. We know that the Divine Principle is wonderful, and one of the key realizations it contains is this deep understanding for the necessity of subject and object; we can deeply know the dual essentialities of God through this point.
Starting with subject and object as the base, we have give and take. Then we can see that they fulfill the four position foundation, through which they attain all their beauty. When this is fulfilled in a sequence of steps, it has direction and unity and purpose. The subject and object relationship clearly comes first with a certain purpose to achieve, so it has precise direction. Unification Church women have a certain ideal and purpose, and thus have a certain direction. More concretely, women have an individual purpose, plus a purpose leading to men. Centering on yourself you have a purpose as subject, and al so as object. Why do women have two purposes, instead of just one? This is because women resemble God, who happens to have duality; because subject and object want to get together, you have two purposes.
When subject and object come into oneness, they can go to a higher level and form a subject-object relationship with a higher being. Then when they form unity they in turn will become object to a higher-level subject.
First you have mind and body as an individual, each of which have a purpose, so within you there are dual purposes. They vaguely correspond in direction, but nevertheless they are distinct. How do they coordinate with each other? It all happens within the foundation of four positions, with give and take action going round and round. Within an individual it is always the mind that directs the body, not vice versa. Is that relationship the result of receiving a high-level college education, or were you just born with it? That is taking place every day within each of us. The power within the universe moves in the same way, just as a tornado or typhoon finds an appropriate path.
Often the body seems not to hear, however. Until you understand this principle you might have room for going a different way, but once you know this is how the whole universe operates then you know your body should follow your mind at all times. This is where power will come from, so having a clear idea of subject and object will help revolutionize your individual life, family life, and so forth. Is this just fine talk, or do you feel this is really the secret of your being?
We know that for many years mankind did not understand this because the fall confused this basic concept for man. The archangel had a relationship of object to God, but he failed to observe the right direction. The archangel's idea of purpose became different from God's idea, so their relationship and direction became separate and unity was not obtained.
It is important to know clearly about subject-object relations. In the communist countries they say the capitalists exist for the workers, but they totally fail to understand who is subject -- the worker, or whoever runs the company. In your idea who is it? Right or wrong, the owner is in position of subject. In the four position foundation we have God, the owner, workers and company, so the owner has to have relationships in two directions. The worker will be in the object position, but on an equal level with the subject. The nation is moving in a certain direction, so the worker as object and factory-owner as subject will move together in that same direction. This principle is the only reason for anyone to pay taxes. In the same way, there are a leader and citizens in America and they must go in the direction the country desires. Even within the individual the same pattern will be found, though in a smaller scale.
Now we have learned that fulfillment of the purpose of the ideal is found in the four position foundation. You have two eyes, an optical nerve, and a point of focus in your vision; together the y form a four position foundation. Air enters through two nostrils; you hear through two ears. We have to be aware of the subject position, realizing there is such a thing as an object, and then we can have purpose, direction, and unity.
The communist ideology is founded on the idea that there is no such thing as subject or object, no such thing as purpose, and thus no direction or unity necessary in human life. If a communist concedes that any of these elements must be present, then he has denied the whole communist philosophy. Their typical view of a subject-object relationship is understood only in terms of fighting: through conflict they become one! In this thinking, then, men and women must fight before they can have unity. They say that mind and body have to fight in order to find unity.
They view the material world as subject, and say that the existence of the mind is only accidental. It really is a satanic outlook on life, inverting the actual universal Principle. The direction communist countries s et for the individual and nation is one of fighting. Of course they say they want to unify the whole world under communism, but they also say that blood must be shed before that can happen.
This is exactly how they are thinking and this activity cannot be forgiven. It not only goes against the direction of history, but also against the law of existence in the universe.
As long as the communists have no clear objective to reach after their revolution, and they only fight in the name of progress, then they make no sense at all. They say something good will probably happen after the fighting, but actually they have no clear idea of what they will become. Now the communists in different nations are fighting among each other. But unless there can be unity, how can the ideal come into being?
What we have here in Unification Church is founded on solid rock. In the history of the universe, where is the subject and object? Is it God and man together who have to create history? Can America say that it has been prosperous without God, and just continue on its way? If we learn from what happened in history, we won't make the same mistake. No great empire or nation knew beforehand that it would collapse. Individuals can do a certain amount, but after that they are helpless.
People today have stopped pursuing the ideal, saying that things like religion aren't necessary, and they indulge in sensual excitement as a way of life. No person has met more persecution than I have; whenever I spoke up the commotion began, in the churches, the government, every place. No one else has ever met so much persecution and survived. How did I do it? I am the only one who lived according to natural law, moving in the same direction as the universe. Thus, I prospered more and more.
Eventually America will have to listen to me, and even though the President may not recognize me, this nation will eventually believe me. Even in daily life am I a success or failure? I do not take great pride in what I know, or manipulate people. I get out and s et the example of how to live. But I will never try to compromise the Principle; whatever is the Principle way, I do. What makes me different from anyone in the world is my notion of subject and object. That is very serious and very strong. I follow the same direction God does. I have a clear view of the future of the world, and an objective to go toward, and I will never compromise that. I am all for bringing everything into unity. As long as someone is a son or daughter of God, he will come into unity centering on God.
Why do you find yourself here in Unification Church? You don't eat delicious food here, and you can't sleep as much as you want; people don't even respect you. What do you have here anyway? Your purpose for being here is to be like a rock upon which God can rebuild the world. God is pounding on you to make you tempered steel. Do you know about the process of making Japanese swords? The metal is put in the fire and then beaten, again and again. That is what is happening to you year after year . Everyone who mistreats you helps in this process. In order for you to have great power you must have much give and take action, and being pounded on is part of that action.
I start many new things because I am not interested in just one area. That's how my life has always been. I started training myself much earlier than you did. I know what it takes to train a person because I have gone through the same things. Is it bad or good that I want you to be stronger than me? You have a difficult time being pounded, but I who am doing the pounding also have a difficult time. The name of the game is who gives up first! All you have to do is survive until I give up.
Would you feel that your children cannot be greater than you? Though you are the parent, you will want them to be better than you because you know your own deficiencies. You always think that I will give you more assignments to make you work hard. In your mind you think that you don't question whatever I do, but you wonder if you can really work harder . You awkwardly conclude that you love me but feel that Unification Church life is too hard, that it is too hard to be object to the subject. You might want me to listen to the object once in a while.
You and your ancestors are used to the American life and maybe you think I don't understand Americans. I always have a reason for what I do, so should you listen to me, or me to you? God has a definite idea whether I should listen to Him or He should listen to me. The whole universe centers around the positions of subject and object; an equally strong law is that the object must follow subject. Is the whole thing clear to you?
Maybe you ask if it would be better to follow a religion with an easier course, like Buddhism or Hinduism. There are not even chairs to sit on here. On the coldest winter day you always sat on a cold concrete floor, but just recently you have been provided with a carpet to sit on. In any other church you sit on pews to listen to short sermons, and feel that the other church members are interested in your problems. They will never make you fund raise! The minister will warmly shake your hand and come visit you, but I don't do that.
In light of all this, why do you make a determination that you must do even more? It is because such thinking perfectly conforms to the Principle. Whether other people approve or not, we go on because it is the right thing to do. Even though you may not have gone to college, you know what contribution I have made to history. By myself I have brought thousands of people closer to God.
Other people say we cannot ever compare the Creator to His creations. But the purpose of religion is to bring God and man together, and I have brought this lofty idea of God into living reality and lifted man all the way up to heaven. We can live with God in our daily life, not just in concept. God is the subject over our daily life, over where we will go, and over where America will go and where history will go 10,000 years from now.
We have to be serious about subject-object relations all the time, in every part of life. We are on the right track, and if we just keep going we will reach the ideal. That is our destiny. It really matters little whether it is agreeable to or approved by others. It would be easier if I didn't have to take the Unification Church along with me, but not only that, eventually I must bring the entire world. The same tears that roll down my face should roll down your faces; what's good-tasting to me should taste good to you also.
You and I eat different food; I sleep on my back, while you sleep on your stomach. I even speak a different language, but our tears and our hearts should be the same, whether white, black or yellow. This is our common denominator and meeting point.
Now you know that you need much power, so you need much action. Before you can come into action you must establish clearly defined subject-object relationships. With that power you will go toward a purpose, in a specific direction. Finally the whole thing will come into unity on a higher level, and ultimately everyone will unite on the highest level. This is a precise summary of what I have told you this morning. Is there any fault in this?
In order for there to be power it is absolutely necessary for subject and object to come into good action. If one eye sees clearly and the other eye sees dimly, can they focus well? Then the four position foundation will not be formed in a correct way.
If you work in many directions then after successful give and take action you will have much power. That means you need many subject-object relationships, both as subject and as object. You don't generate action for its own sake, but with a purpose in mind. Once you come into perfect unity with America and it responds, then you will go toward the world. Then the world will come within your embrace and become one. Once the world becomes our object, we are ready to form a perfect relationship with God as subject and the world as object.
Then what belongs to God is yours, and what is yours is God's. There is no such thing as division in that case. All is done with love, and then the whole process will be finished. Then our laughter will never cease for eternity. Definitely the universe will develop according to this principle. Communists insist that their doctrine will continue eternally, but actually at some point it must join forces with our doctrine. When we reach this goal, the communists will be connected to us.
This will take place when subject and object become harmonious in every way and the whole universe comes into perfect unity centering on God. One force will act and another respond; one will go up, then down, in and out, and so forth. With each force alternately pushing, the universe will go around. When a child's top is spinning slowly it wobbles, but when it is whirling quickly it stands perfectly in place. In the same way, when the forces acting on the universe are perfectly balanced, it whirls in place.
Today's human knowledge reveals that the universe is expanding, but doesn't show that it also contracts, or comes back in again. It doesn't just repeat a certain static pattern but goes in a vertical field or sphere. Then why is the earth round, for instance? Because it is in perpetual motion of horizontal and vertical. That's the principle of the universe in action.
Where would I go after I finish my work in America and the world? I would go back to my hometown. Always you can think that the first place you will go when you succeed is back to your native land. Why? Because of this universal principle I have just described.
You breathe by inhaling and exhaling. Air is not stationary; it constantly moves in areas of low and high pressure because of this principle. You might want to stay on the level you have been brought up in, and wonder why you should go to the national and world level. It is because the only way to perfect oneself is to perfect the world; there is an indivisible relationship between the two.
You all want to be the most important person in the world, whether you are qualified or not. There is no one who would refuse that. When we reach the world level, without fail it will come back again, completing a circle of action. The world will turn on an axis which links God and earth. Even though there may be a plus and minus, however, without love the axis will not come into being. The Unification Church must have an idea of individual perfection, but without also having an ideal of world perfection the individual cannot reach his goal. Though it might take us millions of years, this is the way we have to go.
We can achieve hundreds of times more here on earth than in spirit world. This is why we are so fortunate to know the will of God today. When we reach up to fulfill all levels of unity, we will start experiencing God's love; this is where He beckons us to come.
Now let me return to the question of why we have to pray. From the point of the fall we have to reach up to that point, and then eventually we will reach the center. When the axis is placed firmly and give and take action can take place, then the ideal horizontal way will follow almost immediately.
We have to have a definite idea about God and His grandchildren. God's objective was not limited to Adam and Eve. God has a triple objective purpose, of three purposes and three objects. The four positions are necessary as a foundation for action and maneuver. God is the almighty subject, but He is not happy alone, so in order to move He had to have objects. This is why He created man and woman.
But those three are not complete either. Since God wanted to move in spherical motion, He needed the fourth position, to form a south pole to His north pole. Subject and object were divided in order to take after God's own image. If plus and minus have give and take, another being of plus and minus is bound to come into being. For these purposes God needed grandchildren. Without having the fourth position, man could only have two objects. If he did not have three objects like God did, then he could not be elevated to the same level as God, or become His perfect object.
Thus, even for Adam and Eve's triple objective purpose children were inevitable. In achieving that they could become the same as God. Even the children have the triple objective purpose fulfilled. Now we know the reason man absolutely needs woman, woman absolutely needs man, and both absolutely need children. This is the law of creation of the universe.
The gay movement is very fashionable in this country. Men and men decide to marry each other and forget about women. You have to know why that could never create the ideal. When parents love children, they form the same pattern as they do in loving God, and they represent God's love. Children loving parents is the same as mankind loving God. For children to love their parents is the same as their loving God. God's loving His grandchildren is the same as His loving Adam and Eve. By loving Adam, Eve loves God and children at the same time. The same goes for man when he loves Eve, he loves God and children as well. Now we know we definitely need man, we definitely need woman and children, but we also need God.
For God this is the ideal of man, woman and children because it includes love. Some people say they don't want children, but they must know they really do need children. If a woman doesn't have children, she might as well not have a bosom. Do women have bosoms for themselves, or for someone else? Korean women are careful to hide their bosoms, but when they are breast feeding their children they don't care who is around to see. A Korean woman might think she is justified in this openness because God wants to see it. You have seen the practice of American women in this matter. A bosom becomes less valuable when it is shown to everyone all the time. Why do men have broad shoulders? To work hard a man needs good muscles and strong build.
When you look at the world with this basic knowledge, you can know instantly what is going on. If you have a firm knowledge of what I have just told you then you can evaluate what is right and wrong with people, and also with yourself. Now you know how nice is the ideal of the four position foundation. Everything is included in it. The elements are subject and object, direction, purpose, unity. There the ideal is fulfilled.
Applied to your situation, you fundamentally have mind and body. Can women say they only need God and then go into a monastery? Can men say they don't need women? Woman has to find a man. As soon as a woman has mind and body in complete unity centered on a direction and purpose, then she has to trot along to a man. When a man as subject and a woman as object become completely one, they form the four position foundation with their children. When that is accomplished they can bring society into unity, then the nation and the world and spirit world as well. Then they return to God. We originated from God and then eventually we return to God.
What does a person leave behind? The only thing he leaves is love. As soon as your mind and body come into unity then you love your spouse, your family, your country and then the world and universe. Then finally you return to God. Maybe you start out quietly, but when you love everything and return to God you do so with great laughter.
This is the only way God can be happy, you can be happy, and all other elements can be happy as well. Since it is so important that woman meet man, when Unification Church women marry they never have more than one husband. Once a couple are united perfectly then they immediately take on a higher subject. American men always follow American women, don't they? Do American women want to lead or follow American men?
Your ideal as an individual is not sufficient; only after fulfilling dual ideals are you in conformity with the universe. If a plus never wants to unite with a minus then eventually it will be eliminated by the universe. A plus cannot remain as a plus all the time and still be in motion eternally. Now in America men and women want to stay single. According to universal law should this practice be perpetuated or
eliminated? This is not what I say, but what the universe says. Do women want to have a man so that they can become smaller or bigger? Your spouse is a bridge, without whom you cannot love the universe, whether as plus or minus.
Then why do we have to pray? If you are not altogether sure who your subject is then you have to pray. Whether they realize it or not, all mankind is looking for the absolute positive subject. That is God. Before we pray, we ask whether we have established ourselves as absolute objects to the absolute subject. Once you are sure your position is sound, then you make sure you are an absolute object, and then you can follow whatever God says. It's not conditional based on what God does for you, but means doing 100% whatever the perfect subject says. This is how we have to be established.
A prayer asking to be shown the existence of God will never have power. First you have to establish yourself as absolute object to the absolute subject and then have direction of absolute obedience. Living things want to go their own way, especially Americans, and especially American women! Only on the basis of the absolute law which God created will He respond to our communication. God hears, without exception, but cannot always answer.
If you are disregarding the direction while you ask God to answer, He cannot answer even though He hears you. There must be direction, from the individual, the family, and nation to the world. You also need faith that you as a small minus, an individual, can be as big as the absolute plus. Though a magnet is small, it responds the same as a big magnet does. Now that we know what He would like the world to be, we can pray to God that regardless of the persecution, we have no objection: "God, I will give up everything that is important to me and care about your purpose." Then God will respond to us.
First we have to become one with God in His purpose, and after that help our poor family, nation and world. If you say to God, "Let us two get together and forget about the world," nothing will happen. But if God hears you praying for absolute faith to become one with Him and do His work, God cannot deny that. The Messiah opens the way in place of mankind, all by himself. After he achieves that, he will inherit everything, and on that foundation can bequeath the course he has achieved, which you know is home church. Now you know the right direction to go.
If a person prays that he has listened to me and agrees, but just cannot do anything, then God cannot help him. God works only by the Principle, which states that man has to find his own way. Now you know the direction of prayer.
Rather than pray about your household, when you pray about the world your children are already included. One thing for sure, whatever we pray for, God will fulfill, though it may take some time. The only problem is whether man will carry on and persevere until God fulfills. God will never forget, but man is always going up and down.
I am now praying about things to happen in a thousand years, and I pray that I will continue until those things are finished. You may feel you have prayed deeply about something yet God did nothing, but that is not the case. He may not have achieved it through you but through someone else, and you just haven't seen it. But always in time those things will come back to you. Because the universe goes around, either you will find that event or it will find you.
A typical churchgoer prays usually for his family, or at best for his nation, but hardly ever for the world; people today just don't pray for God's will. Again, your primary concerns are subject and object, direction and purpose. Whatever we do, as long as it is to achieve a certain purpose, it will be there and nothing will be wasted.
From the time you achieve that purpose you will be elevated one step higher, praying for the sake of mankind and the universe and eventually meeting God. This is God's desire too, so if you pray like that then certainly God will fulfill it. If He doesn't then He isn't fulfilling His own purpose. When you have a high objective and ideal for which you pray, God will meet you when you achieve it. Certainly He will appear and reveal what you should do after that. People commonly ask why God doesn't love them, but only after we achieve our purpose can God truly give His love. He has to give His love when we arrive at the higher subject-object relationship which He needs so much.
With this basic knowledge I can know precisely where in history today's world is, and what a country's destiny is. When America doesn't do what it ought to then difficulties will come to it even within a few weeks. Its trouble is love. When, as a perfect object to the perfect subject, you pray for God's own purpose then God will listen to every word. That's the one thing you won't have to worry about. Of course a small prayer will bear fruit more quickly, but a far-reaching prayer will come back to your descendants, or to the Church. Sometimes I pray for something and ask for it to be achieved in 10,000 years. By the time t hat prayer is fulfilled my boundary of love will be enormous.
Finally, when we pray we must act and carry it out. If you pray about a content often then you should act to a level of fifteen. Then God will be right behind you, even though you cannot see Him, supplying you with power. If this is an actual law then how can you get tired? Even if you have worked hard for many years and just became engaged, you shouldn't be concerned if you don't have a chance to be with your fiancée as much as you would like. What kind of life you live and in what direction you go is more important than your fiancée. Do you pray at all?
Perhaps you have been down for a while, and then feel that you have to make some resolve because you just can't go on like that. There are times when you are breaking your back witnessing or fund raising, yet even at that time you have to repent. You are in a minus position to the huge plus of economic work, for instance. Wherever you go you have to grasp quickly the subject-object relationships you find there.
In witnessing, Abel is plus and Cain is minus, and you have to unite them. Even though the minus may be more powerful than you are, somehow you have to make that relationship work like it should. Because God is right behind you, it will work. That is the process of re-creation, and reversing the tide always involves difficulty. Because of love, God had a happy mind when He first created the world, even though it might have been a difficult job. The purpose is what matters, so we can do difficult things with a happy mind. God sees all of us together as one individual, so each one must really try to come into unity with the group; the most effective way is to cherish the person beside you. If you truly have that feeling then the whole congregation will be united.
If you feel you are needed and are living for the congregation then the meaning of the whole church will become very clear and you can give everything for the sake of the whole. That is the process of re-creation. When you truly do that then you will become a subject and others will really like and respect you. Once you are accustomed to this basic pattern of life then you don't have to pray so much because everything you do is prayer. Once you pray, God will just reply, "Go ahead and do it." Now and then you would pray to make sure that what you are doing is what God wants and the universe wants; then you can pray for power if you are worn out.
Sometimes you don't want to go on unless some immediate need is fulfilled, such as food. Then either you could eat and go on, or you could get mad and tell the food that it is your enemy at that moment. Then your body's need for food will gradually subside. You know you can go on for seven days without food, but actually it is rare that you have nothing available to you for that long. If your fiancée is somehow blocking your way then you have to chase that barrier away. If your clothing hinders you then you have to turn against it. Maybe you felt energetic all the time before coming to Unification Church, but after being a member for a long time you feel drained. Now you know how you lost power.
I have had the experience of wishing I hadn't said some things in prayers, and in order to nullify those words I fasted for weeks. Such is the power of prayer.
Should you pray for your fiancée, or just go straight for the sake of the world? Actually there is little you can do about your fiancée if you are worried. God knows what he needs better than you do. You might think your husband or wife-to-be doesn't care about you, but he or she has a higher being to love and dedicate his heart to. Once he achieves that, he has to return and love you anyway. All you have to do is wait for that time and tag along in obedience meanwhile.
In your case you can tell me that since I know so much more about prayer than you that I should do the praying and you will just follow what I say. That attitude and action are as meaningful as your individual prayer. Then you won't complain if I push you to work hard. Actually 90% of prayer is not about doing this or that, because you and God already know what must be done. 90% of prayer is repentance. This parallels Jesus' teaching to repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Repentance is very valuable if you do it correctly.
Other people don't have to see you repent and work hard. When you work according to your repentance then your goal is getting nearer. If you walk many miles in one day and it gets dark but you want to walk even ten steps further before you collapse and rest, that is better than counting up what you did and calculating you can reasonably stop until tomorrow. Always you should stretch yourself to the maximum.
Do you pray? How do you pray? If your prayer is centered mostly on personal requests, it is neither valuable nor powerful. Now you know how to pray. I understand that you want to pray about yourself, and there is one way to do that. You might introduce where you are precisely, saying, "Father, I am one part of womankind, a representative of all women. I know the world is more important than myself, but in order to reach the world I have to have a spouse and family so I can fulfill your desire." In that way you can ask God for an ideal spouse.
Sometimes you are much too self-centered and want individual advancement. God just cannot listen to that prayer. The first thing is to determine what your direction is and to work toward the goal, repenting in daily religious life. God will always listen to the needs of such a person. Now you have a precise idea about prayer. I have followed this principle so closely that if I wanted to pray in an unprincipled way, my mouth wouldn't even open. Then I would know God was going in a different direction.
When I just close my eyes momentarily, I know which way God wants me to go. If you live like I do then God will always be near you and always around your family. Our purpose is to nourish that kind of family, In that respect prayer is very necessary. Your life right now should be one of uniting with each other and praying for the sake of the world. When a wife is working very hard should the husband be idle and the children playing all the time? No, all should go in unison.
From now on you should pray about going in the direction God desires, checking to see if what you do is acceptable. Praying in any other manner is not acceptable.
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