The Words of Sun Myung Moon from 1977
When fund raising, have you ever been kicked, hit, or spit upon by others? Being spit at or hit by a stranger is not that painful to bear. But being spit at or hit by someone who was previously a member and who has now betrayed God is very painful. You will finally taste the heartbreaking and painful experiences of Jesus when you experience these things. Jesus had not only external enemies -- the people who physically nailed him down on the cross -- but he had internal enemies who betrayed him like Judas.
I have tasted prison life, not only under the communist regime but also in free Korea. I can never forget one former member who came up to me when I was being taken to the West Gate prison in Seoul. He looked at me and laughed scornfully, "You fool! Are you still doing this stupid thing? Why don't you graduate from that like me?" I can never forget that man. At that moment I did not say anything to him, but in my heart I prayed, "God, give me a chance to testify to how righteous You are, and how I was obedient to You."
This is just one instance of personal betrayal; there are too many to count. When I close my eyes and start to pray, tears always come forth. I have experienced so much agony and pain and heartbreak that I know God, and I am in a position to comfort Him. No one understands me. My parents never understood, even my wife and children can never really understand. My understanding of God is a lonely understanding. You also can be a companion to that lonely God.
I always feel how vulnerable and weak I am, but I know that God trusts and is depending on me to fulfill. When I see God's expectation I just have no way to sit still. I feel, "God, You are Almighty. You can do anything You want, but because of Your own precious children's failure You put Yourself in a position of such suffering. You don't need to suffer, but You have been helpless, waiting so long for some man You could depend on. God, I really sympathize with You. I understand You."
If anyone truly knew me internally then he just could not help but be crushed by sorrow. Spiritually enlightened people who can receive revelations and instructions in their prayers say the following. When they pray about me God's response is always the same; He responds to their prayer is "tears". When they pray about Rev. Moon, they find God weeping. When God beholds His lonely champion here on earth, God just weeps.