The Restoration of True Love

by Rev. Sun Myung Moon


Chapter 2
The True Parents

The other day, a group of about 50 people from Japan came to Korea and visited the Holy Ground in Pusan. It is right next to a cemetery, in a stony place where no one lives. On that site I built a small hut of cardboard and mud many years ago. It was far from a glorious place, but even when I was sleeping there, I was walking the path of filial piety before God as His son. My quest was a deep, internal standard that no one else had been able to attain. At that time, I had no external possessions. I had no money. I had a beard and an unwashed face, so I looked dirty, and I wore an assortment of Western and Oriental clothes. But everywhere I went, I spoke about very big things, things that were bigger than a cannon, more explosive than an atomic bomb so huge that everybody was surprised and ran away.

I have endured tremendous hardship all my life, but you may not be able to understand it. It would take as much as 50 years to explain it. But my conclusion is that no matter how much suffering you may experience in your activities, and no matter how much you are persecuted by your environment, you should be able to always remain standing before the face of God.

Just as Jesus was persecuted by leaders of Judaism, I was persecuted by the established churches here, and in the midst of this, I had to fight to restore everything. In 1945, the situation was such that I had to go to Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea, into Satan's camp. I had to leave Seoul and my homeland, which God had been blessing and where He had a certain foundation, and go to the headquarters of God's enemy. Unless I overcame the condition of Satan's accusation in this situation, I could not start a second time. This is the reason why I had to live in prison in a communist country.

In prison I had to gain 12 disciples to restore the situation of Jesus, who was completely deserted by all his disciples while he was in prison. In this way, a new history was able to start from prison. After accomplishing this condition, I was able to return to the South, where I still had to endure all kinds of accusation and opposition from the established churches. We labored for many years to establish a new movement capable of surpassing all the established churches, in order to fulfill God's providence. This is the Unification Church of Korea.

Restoration and Blessing 2-2-69

If my father and mother hadn't liked each other and insisted only on their own happiness, would I have come into being? My mother was very active and my father more of a scholarly person. My mother intuitively decided what was good, while my father waited and reasoned everything out slowly before making decisions, so they were always in some conflict over decisions. If they had both been of the same aptitude then I wouldn't have inherited both elements in good proportion. There is no highness or lowness; what makes something high is that something else is low, and there is harmony between them. If my parents had been divorced before I was conceived, how could they have faced God, who would scold them for messing up His dispensation?

Individual Course of Life 1-20-80

(Speaking at the World Mission Center Grand Ballroom) Right now the beautiful ceiling is complaining that I haven't mentioned how lovely it has become for this day. The beautiful ceiling and moldings have the same birthday I do because they are born today and they want some attention from us. I can hear them calling to me. Why don't you say, "Happy Birthday, ceiling?" You know what this ballroom looked like before restoration. It has been completely revolutionized and I designed it. I know you don't realize it but this place is sanctified and consecrated by this day. This is the only place I have designed. It doesn't matter how big or how old this building is; the people of the world in years ahead will come to see it and remember what I did here.

Ideal Nation of God 2-21-80

Because of True Parents, the true family, true tribe, true nation and true world can come. Because of True Parents, all other true things will begin and can be connected. This is why they are so important. As Unification Church members, you have learned this, but have you ever deeply felt that realization about True Parents? Just knowing that you should love True Parents is not enough; you have to understand how bleak and painful the day was for mankind when the True Parents were lost. Only in that way can you understand the true joy of finding them again.

We must know how difficult and long a course it was for mankind to find the True Parents again. First you must know how sad mankind was in the beginning to lose the love of True Parents, then you have to know how difficult it was to find the True Parents again. God tried to forgive the painful past, and I will try to forget it; from now on we have to help the rest of mankind find True Parents, and then there can be a joyous, ideal world for everyone. God, True Parents, and all of you are going in that direction. All religions are going toward that day of joy when there is no more sorrow. That day is here.

The Dispensation of Restoration and Myself 4-6-80

A long time ago I volunteered to be God's chauffeur, so I started on the highway of love in Korea. All of a sudden I encountered a demonstration of people blocking the road and protesting that I shouldn't be allowed to pass. I just told God to fasten His seat belt, and then I pushed the accelerator down hard and the car took off!

True Parent's Mission 4-20-80

One memory I can never forget is my suffering for three years in the North Korean prison. I never preached there, but because I had a father's heart the people followed me. I cannot forget the people who brought me little gifts in the midst of their incredible circumstances. They might have had a little piece of rice cake, but instead of eating it in their hunger, they kept it hidden in their dirty clothes to hide it from the prison inspectors, and then brought it to me. No money can buy that kind of priceless deed, only central true love. I cannot forget these things. No one can take these memories away, and they will all be in spirit world. The true blessing is having beautiful memories to take to spirit world for eternity. It is not for yourself but for the whole.

Liquidation and Blessing 8-18-80

On my journey in pursuit of this love I met Mother and met the children God gave us, and I feel only gratitude.

Way of Original Form 6-8-80

Suppose Mother's concept was that because I was her husband I should just spend a pleasant time with her and we would take care of each other. If she ever thought in that fashion, what would happen to the dispensation? Who would take care of you and the rest of the world? But Mother is the most obedient Moonie I have ever seen. Even if everyone else betrays me, I know she will still be my ardent follower.

Sometimes my children are in a position to complain that I only worry about the members, never about my children, because I spend hardly any time with them. But they have realized, one by one, that when I do something for the sake of the world it is actually for them too and they are grateful and proud. Then they want me to do more for the world. Ye Jin loves me fervently, unconditionally, and by uniting with me completely she will be loved and respected by the rest of the world. Then the world together with me will come to love her. When you realize this, can you ask for any greater blessing? There is no greater blessing.

Our Tradition 6-15-80

Recently I recommended that one of the Church elders sell his house and help another Church member. Then he began complaining, and I determined that I would never say the same thing to him again. He had been receiving love, but reached a point he could not go beyond. I never had any complaint toward God, no matter what direction I was given. Whatever God asked, I did without questioning. I certainly had no criticism in mind. I know that many people would complain to God but God can count on me never to object.

The World of Good and Evil and My Indemnity 9-28-80

Sometimes I wonder whether I would be able to tolerate the discomforts of pregnancy like Mother does, or whether I would flunk that test. I sometimes think that the skin of men and women must be different, that there must be some force compensating for the downward pull in later pregnancy, enabling women to hold the baby up. If scientists check and find that what I am saying is true, then maybe I will be given a Ph.D.! Mother is embarrassed to be praised while she is present, but I don't want to miss the chance to give her credit.

In some ways I am not very considerate of Mother, asking her to come or bring me things like all husbands do. But she always does what I ask and I forget she is heavy with child. When it takes her a long time to do something I remember she is not as slim as she was three months ago. Sometimes I get aggravated, but Mother might say one small thing like, "Father, have you forgotten my situation?" and then my aggravation is washed away. Then I say, "You're right. I almost forgot." But even if she doesn't say anything, later I remember.

God is the same way. We don't have to remind God about how hard we are working. I just do whatever God asks without complaining, even if He may ask me to do the same thing over and over. God sometimes realizes how much I do, and creeps up behind me when I am not busy to sneak blessings into my rear pocket. That's what God has been doing to me. When a person works hard but doesn't come forward for recognition after everything is finished, I have the urge to bless him more.

Christmas in View of the Will of God 12-25-80

You have never seen my mother. Do you think she would have been tall or short? Was she really a feminine woman or a masculine woman? I grew up among many brothers and sisters, but of them all my mother loved me the most. But the son she loved most would never stay put, and was always asking questions. If we had something nice to eat I would just naturally ask her, "Mother, when we have plenty to eat is it good or not good to bring food to people in need?" I never waited for the answer because we both knew what the right answer was, and later I would bring food to such people.

Whatever I found in the house I would give away to whoever I felt needed it more. I would even give my own clothes to other people. That was one thing my mother didn't appreciate because it was so difficult to make those clothes, but I would give them away regardless. You can understand how she felt when her most beloved son was away for a long time doing some work, or later when he found himself in jail.

Often I would play in the neighborhood and might see a big, bad boy give a hard time to a smaller boy. In a sense it was none of my business, but I immediately took the side of the smaller boy against the bad one, and fought on his behalf. The bigger boy would be dumbfounded and wonder why I did that. I did that almost every day. My mother would hope I was growing out of it and think I would never do it again, so she would cry when I persisted. Finally, she determined that the next time I came back home she would not let me go out again.

I can understand my mother's feelings. Whenever I had something interesting I would talk to my mother about it, and no mater how tired she was or how much work she had to do, she would listen. That is a vivid memory for me. Even though I would speak to her for hours, her eyes glowed and she would ask, "Then what? Then what?" That was our relationship.

Would God's feeling toward men be less than my mother's feeling toward her son? It could not have been less. Since God's feelings toward His own children go beyond any physical boundary and beyond time, His love is always there.

God's Day and My Congratulations 7-1-81

God gave a fair chance to everybody regarding love. If for some reason a couple is being persecuted by their village, that harassment will actually drive them closer together. The power of their love will be most intense under those circumstances. In that couple there is a fire of love burning more brightly than in any other couple. That is very true with Mother and me. You know I have been persecuted by America. At home I will say to Mother, "You are my ally. You understand me." Mother will say, "Father, you are my hero, no matter what other people say." Although she is only one individual, with Mother's words I am comforted. There is nothing that compares to the way Mother supports me. "Besides," Mother will say, "it's nice in a way that the rest of the world is persecuting you, because it drives you home faster!"

Mother and I can really enjoy persecution. Our children understand us, and the cohesive harmony in our home is very strong. The children have a strong conviction that, no matter what the world says about their parents, they are the most wonderful champions of God. Sometimes they feel they cannot suppress their anger at the world, but in the meantime, they feel intense love toward their parents. There's nothing bad about getting persecuted.

When you look at world affairs from the standpoint of love, there is nothing you cannot be grateful for. Because I have been persecuted so much, God blessed my family more and more. The evidence of this is that over the years the children who were born to us are even more brilliant and more outstanding. When I look at them I thank God. When God has big gifts to hand out, you must make your shopping bags bigger so He can give the biggest gift to you. What are those gifts? God wants to give many gifts to Mother and me, so we will have more and more children. God wants to give us more than forty children, but since me human body has certain limitations, God will condense that gift into a few most brilliant children.

Yesterday an elderly Korean woman who has followed me ever since our Church was established came to East Garden. She used to come to the Church three times a day. She said, "Father, unless I see you three times a day, I become crazy and I cannot live." When she came to East Garden she said, "My life is hell now because I cannot see you every day. This morning I have come to see you." I never showed her any special favor in the past; I always treat all the members the same way. Mother was sitting next to me and the lady said, "I feel shy to say this, but I love you, Father." Mother was the first one to smile when she said that.

Who Is God and Who Am 1 7-25-81

The coming of the Messiah is the greatest thing to happen since the creation of the world. He brings the revolutionary movement of true love for the first time on earth, and it is such a priceless opportunity that it is worth giving up everything in order to have it. In the last days there must be a religion strong enough to teach this clearly.

I have spent my whole life setting the example and carrying this out. For this purpose I gave up my family, my children, and even my country. I was accused of being too extreme and taking everything away for love, but for love of whom? For God.

Life of Experience in the Realm of Heart 3-15-81

You may think you can be proud of me, historically speaking, but I don't think that way. If I felt proud of myself then I would walk arrogantly and boast, but instead I don't even know when it is time to go to bed or to eat. Mother is always trying to educate me to think about my health and my age.

The Things We Want to be Proud Of 7-25-87

I am very strict about money spent for my family. Even when Mother wants to buy something for the family, I check it carefully beforehand. But I tell her that if she sees any needy Church members, she should even borrow money if necessary to get them what they need. As recently as three years ago, Mother had no freedom at all to spend any money. Only recently have I given her freedom. I am abiding by the heavenly tradition in my family to prevent their being caught by Satan.

In my high school and college days I made a conscious effort to look like a beggar, letting my hair become shaggy, and dressing in old clothes from a thrift shop. Instead of dressing nicely for events, I dressed comfortably at home, but wore rags when I went out. I seldom spoke to people outside. That was how I lived when I was young. You could not have figured that out unless I told you this morning.

I went to the Harlems of Japan and Korea, mingling with poor people. I never mixed with the elite. I worked hard at manual labor to pay tuition for people who were my friends. I know the mentality of the satanic world. No one can deceive me.

There was one rich girl who was infatuated with me. She got much money from her parents, and one day she snuck into my room and left that money in my drawer. I took that packet of money back to her, unopened, and told her that she should learn what life should be like, that she couldn't buy my mind with money. The world doesn't know what kind of experiences I have passed through in order to come this far.

Historical Children's Day 10-28-81

Do you think I have a battle between my mind and body? Yes, I have the same battle as you; the only difference is that my battles have been victorious. I knew the truth, so I persevered through my battles.

I have sacrificed my immediate family, even Mother, for the sake of the Unification Church. It is very seldom that I eat a meal with my own children; I usually eat with the church leaders from all over the world. They are the ones who are sitting right next to me and Mother, eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner; our children are not there. Sometimes when I am eating a meal with the children and some of the church leaders come in, I immediately send the children to the kitchen to finish their meal and give their seats to the church members. My children, as well, must have Cain to enter the Kingdom of Heaven; they cannot enter without Cain.

For True Father and True Mother, there are two types of children: true Abel-type children and true Cain-type children. The true Abel children must be able to unite with the true Cain children. I have been working for them, in their place, fulfilling their role to bring about this unity; so, for that reason, my true Abel children must be grateful to me. On the other hand, the true Cain children must unite with the true Abel children; without that, there is no place for me to stand. There are two kinds of children for Adam; direct heirs and adopted children. Unless these children are united, the world cannot be restored.

This is the reason why, during 1981, which is the year of the final consummation of my 21-year course, I have been able to give Blessing to the true Abel children. Ye Jin Nim was engaged and married; Hyo Jin Mm was engaged. The ages of the children range between 16 and 21; according to God's original ideal, this is the period during which Adam and Eve were supposed to be married.

Sometimes when I go to the bathroom, I fall asleep and Mother gets worried about me. Even this morning, Mother came knocking on the bathroom door, asking, "Father, what are you doing in there?" I woke up and answered, "Nothing, nothing." It is my credo that I will go the most difficult, suffering way, never seeking the easy way. Any time there are miserable duties to be done, I want to be the first to do them without any hesitation.

Why do I go this way of life? Because that is the role of Abel; no one can claim greater sacrifice before me, including the 36 blessed couples. I have never forced anyone to go the sacrificial way, but the original minds of people know where they stand in relation to me.

Victory of Home Church 1-1-82

We have been talking about a new beginning, based upon a different motivation. What is the true motivation, goal and purpose of Reverend Moon? What is the image of True Parents? True Parents are the core vibration through which all the vibrations of the universe can be harmonized. All creation, all people and nations and the spirit word as well need this essential core through which they can have give and take with the universe.

The Vibration of True Love 1-30-82

You are looking at me and wondering what kind of life I have experienced. Do you think I went through my youth like you? Certainly you know I wasn't born 62 years old! What do you think I was doing when I was 17? Even before I was given my life's mission, I always had the heart that I wanted to be a friend to the suffering people in my village. When I was a boy, there was a rich, arrogant boy who always received a hard time from me. But those who were unfortunate and suffering were always my friends. If I heard that some household had no money to buy groceries, I considered it an emergency and I did everything possible to obtain some money for those people. Until I had done that I could not sleep. I wanted to be more than a friend; I wanted to be someone who could serve and help others. Between the ages of 20 and 30 which is considered the prime of youth, people normally want to dress well, and have pleasant experiences in life. But I lived in exactly the opposite way. I never wore a new suit; I always bought surplus clothing in thrift shops.

My hair never looked neat and attractive. I was always busy doing my mission. In those days I spoke very little, even though I knew that I had many valuable things to say. I determined to be silent and look very unassuming.

During the prime of my youth I spent every day experiencing the most desperate, suffering situations in human life: working in labor camps, mines, poor farms, docks and even begging. I looked at every aspect of human life, even the world of prostitutes. I studied all the miseries of human life.

When I was a student in Tokyo, I rode on the railway looking for the places where the most miserable people were living. Even on rainy days I would get off the train and go and sit on the bench beside unfortunate looking people and make friends with them. I always thought to myself, "What if this man were my elder brother or my father and he was suffering on my account, what could I do for him?"

I observed the students at my university. They were always laughing, talking, and behaving very boisterously. I compared myself with them and thought, "Your laughter is meaningless; it has no weight. But through my silence and meditation, as I seek the solutions to life's problems, mankind will find new hope in the future." I knew that the silly gaiety of my fellow students would pass away like a puff of smoke, but the sorrow and sadness I was sharing with the miserable people of society would bring a new future for the world.

I want you to understand that to earn the title of True Parents is a very difficult task. The position of True Parents exists for the sake of mankind. To be qualified to be in this position one must be able to satisfy all the needs of mankind. The first qualification of the True Parents is to taste the suffering of humanity. This is how I spent my entire youth, going to the places of poverty and misery, visiting the homes of miners and laborers. Also, I acquainted myself with the middle-class people and upper-class people.

In a way, I was a miserable person. I was totally alone; no one understood me or what I was trying to accomplish. Even my parents and brothers and sisters didn't understand me. Of course, Mother is always with me now, supporting me constantly, but even Mother doesn't know everything I envision for the future.

Throughout my life, I have been a pioneer charting a path that never existed before, one which no one had even thought to go before. In order to go that way I had to fight every day a lonely battle in tears and sweat. That path was full of difficulties by itself, but on top of that there was persecution and discrimination. In my village, even though I had never committed a crime, people began to wonder about me and I could not move about freely or live my life freely. Ordinarily, a person becomes a folk hero when he excels at all his activities and does deeds of kindness for other people. But my scale of thinking was far greater than just my village. I was thinking of the nation and the world. Because of that, I was completely misunderstood. People would laugh at me, point their fingers at me. They had no idea what my true motivation was.

My mother was the only one who was close to understanding me; of course, even she didn't understand everything. Sometimes I would reveal certain things to her. Most of the time, I would go to the tombs of my forefathers and speak to them, revealing my heart there. I could reveal my secrets there, knowing that all my ancestors in the spirit world were in a better position to understand what I was doing.

Once I undertook my life's mission, I encountered opposition on every level. My village opposed me, the society opposed me, and the nation opposed me. The most severe opposition came from established Christianity. Ministers and elders of the churches were pointing their fingers at me, accusing me of being a heretic, telling their parishioners, "Don't even go near Rev. Moon; he is a demon!" My relatives were mistreated simply because they were related to me. If I went to a village inn or to a restaurant, I was not welcome. I did nothing wrong and I committed no crime. All I was doing was pursuing the highest possible goal, which they could not understand. But I continued to lay the foundation step by step, in spite of all the opposition.

Under such circumstances, winning a true friend and creating a small organization was not easy. But the entire spirit world was always on my side. In the early days of the Unification Church nobody bore witness to anybody else. Members came to the Church through contact and guidance from the spirit world. If you have visited Korea, you have probably met our elder grandmothers in the Church. None of them came because someone invited them; they received revelations from spirit world directly and came on their own initiative to look for me.

My entire life can be described by one phrase: it has been a life in the shadows. Always I have been misunderstood and persecuted. I was the first Moonie and all of you are the contemporary Moonies. When I look at you I envy you very much; you are so free. Compared to the way I lived in my early days, you are literally living in the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Vibration of True Love 1-30-82

Am I walking a normal or abnormal way? Mother tries to bring me closer to a normal way of life. "Father, you aren't a young man anymore," she says. "Please don't act like a 20 year old!" Mother also has another good piece of advice: "You shouldn't give sermons longer than two hours. It's bad for your heart!" When I go beyond two hours, Mother always gives some warning signal. Indeed, I am surely living an abnormal way!

Normally people expect to eat three meals a day, but I don't have such a concept. Who wrote a law that we have to eat three meals a day? One meal is okay. Two meals are okay. No meal is okay. Sometimes I speak all day long and at the dinner table I say, "This is my breakfast." That is the kind of schedule I keep. I don't know whether I'm having breakfast or dinner! I am always hungry when I eat and always enjoy a meal, no matter what its content. i think that's how I keep healthy.

Everyone is Headed Somewhere 3-7-82

I can take care of myself, but I like to lean on Mother and be protected by her; I want to follow her wherever she goes. That's beautiful. Likewise, Mother always wants to lean on me. Even though she wants to be independent, she says she is better off leaning on me, since I have more security than I need. That is so beautiful.

In the Presence of God 4-11-82

I have learned how to adapt to whatever environment I enter. For example, if I go someplace where everybody is drinking and having fun, I can harmonize with them even without drinking just by showing lively interest in the people. I can even speak about God to them. With just a glass of Coca Cola, I can feel more intoxicated than the others, and they will comment, "How strange! You are only drinking Coke, but you are enjoying it more than we are enjoying our wine. What is your secret?" I could tell them, "Your taste buds get numbed by wine so you can't appreciate how good Coca Cola tastes. But I really enjoy the taste, so it has made me intoxicated."

If I go to a construction site, I know exactly how to deal with the laborers and how to do the things that they do. When you go into the laborers' environment, you must play by their rules. Do you understand? In other words, wherever you are you can always represent good. The universe protects a harmonizing person; it is even responsible to protect such a person.

When I came to the United States I behaved in a very natural manner and never got upset by any hostile atmosphere. When I go to Japan I never consider the past enemy relationship between Korea and Japan; instead, I transcend those feelings and make myself completely at home in Japan and love the Japanese people. When I go to Germany, it is the same. Any new place I visit I always think, "I am coming into a different season, like going from spring to autumn. I must adapt myself to the changes. No problem." In other words, I do not feel like a stranger anywhere in this universe. Everybody everywhere is a part of God's family and creation, and I can always embrace people wherever I go because I know the universe is protecting me. My distinguishing characteristic is the ability to adjust immediately to any circumstance.

One extreme example of this adaptability was my response to being imprisoned in North and South Korea. I didn't tell myself I shouldn't be in such a place; instead, I became a leader of people no matter where I was. There are always people to talk to and teach about God, even in jail.

This harmonizing way of life doesn't spring from a shallow perspective; this ability to make myself at home wherever I go is anchored to the core truth of the universe. I have walked through life as an absolute subject, so wherever I have gone, an object has automatically appeared. Don't you think this is a wonderful way of life?

I know that the core or essence of the universe is God, and He functions in exactly this fashion. To recognize God is to recognize the spirit world as well. The spirit world is subject realm and we are living in the object realm. I know the rules of that subject world.

God Is My Home 4-25-82

Whenever Mother asks me, "How much do you love me?" I always tell her that I cannot love her any more than what we accomplish in building the Kingdom of God on earth; that is our mission. My response is always the same, even towards Mother. That is the principled way and I will abide by Principle.

Let Us Protect Ourselves 5-1-82

In Oriental philosophy, the crane is a noble, sacred bird. By the way, Mother's name, Han, means crane. So the crane is a symbol for Mother.

The Road of the Saint and the Religious Man 5-2-82

Mother just returned from the hospital yesterday after giving birth, and it was a long ordeal for her. I was anxious to bring her here to Sunday Service today but the doctor said it was impossible. Why do I want Mother to be here? I wanted her to show a heroic example to all of you. Even though she is very weak, still Mother managed to come here and listen to three or four hours of the sermon. That is truly historic. When Mother does that, how in the world can any wives or husbands in the church complain about their situations? That is the kind of tradition I wanted to set this morning.

Do you think God will say to me, "Rev. Moon, what a cruel husband you are! How can you drag your wife out right after she came home from the hospital?" No, He will say, "You are indeed a wonderful husband. You truly love your wife." I know that is the way God sees it. What kind of husband do you women want? Do you want a husband who thinks like me? Sometimes a husband can do things that appear to be cruel, but they are motivated by pure love, as in this case.

When you cheer for us, I want Mother to receive the same joy and praise that I do from you. When you cheer Mother, I truly want to be the first person to cheer her. To become that kind of wife is not easy. Ordinary women would complain, "My husband doesn't understand women and their special difficulties."

Mother and I now have thirteen children. The number 12 was a good number and perhaps you wonder why we went on to have 13. Jesus and the twelve apostles together make 13. Now there are twelve children and one who will become like the central figure of the group. We have six daughters and seven sons; six is a number representing earth and seven represents heaven. Mother has consummated her mission.

I always want to be a good example for every member of my family. I work hard, go to bed latest, get up early in the morning, and spend many sleepless nights meditating. Nobody in my home can say I am not working hard enough. Mother recognizes this and tells me, "Father, I surrender. Your standard is absolute." Men should fulfill the man's role with a man's dignity. He should be in the position to educate women.

When I was in prison camp in North Korea, nobody knew anything about me. But sooner or later, people came to respect me because they saw my actions. The prison police were supposed to treat the prisoners very harshly, but they couldn't always treat me that way. Even some of them felt respect for me. At one point when I came out of my cell, the police bowed to me. Of course I never asked them to do that. That is the kind of life which is truly dramatic.

Mother worries about my health and tells me, "Father, you are not a young man anymore. You should cut down the length of your sermons to only two hours." But I knew that if I did that, she would say, "Two hours is a little too long, so why don't you make it an hour and a half?" Then she would suggest one hour, then thirty minutes, then maybe 15 minutes. I have a secret: whenever Mother gives that kind of advice for a Sunday morning, the sermon that day will be at least four hours. I can't work under pressure of any kind; I want to be totally free. Mother tells me, "I can't understand you; you are an incredible mystery!" But once I explained my logic to her about this situation, she accepted it and had to consent to my thinking.

Blessed Family 6-20-82

What characteristic do you suppose Mother finds most attractive in me? What would she consider my most unique, lovable point? I would like to know what you think! I can well imagine, but I won't tell you, because I cannot speak for her unless she is here.

But I know precisely what I like about Mother, from A to Z. Do you think I have yet to appreciate all her good characteristics 100%? No, not yet. That means I have to continue doing research and make more effort to understand and cherish her. Even by the time I die, I don't think my research will be finished. Therefore, there is no time to be bored, because so many things remain to be learned. By the same token, there are many aspects of me that Mother still has to learn about. She is always telling me, "Father, how do you find so many different things to talk about? I thought you would have run out of stories yesterday after speaking for seven hours, but here you are giving another sermon!" She is constantly amazed at the depths of my thought.

The Day of All Things 6-27 -82

Do you think Mother is a very fortunate and happy woman to be married to me? In one sense she is fortunate, but there is untold suffering because she has virtually no freedom. She does not determine her own schedule. She has no freedom to sleep whenever she wants, but only when I allow it. It is not easy to be my wife. My life is absolutely public. Yesterday, Mother didn't feel very well, but I had said that we would visit Washington, D.C., so she just obeyed and followed. She had a headache and felt dizzy, but do you think Mother slept all morning? Absolutely not. Do you still think Mother is a happy woman?

Mother was there the whole time. I'm sure she thought I could give a great message in just a short time, but she sat and listened for hours. Even this morning I'm sure she would like me to give a short sermon because there is a celebration scheduled today at East Garden. Mother is anxious that I will get too tired. She feels anxious when I go on and on, but she still obeys and sits calmly. Mother does not have an easy life at all. You may think she is the happiest person under the sun with nothing to worry about, but that is not the case.

Mother knows that she must follow my will because everything I do is for the salvation and benefit of others. I just came back from Gloucester. After a whole summer on the ocean I was very fatigued and would have liked to rest. I could have sent Bo Hi Pak here to give the sermon this morning, but I came anyway, pounding on you again! I came here to give the milk of life to you, almost like spiritual breast feeding. When you drink like a child, your eyes and ears, as well as your spiritual mind, open up. Wherever I am, when Sunday comes I want to bring resurrection to you.

New Family Given By God 7-5-82

I have had many experiences since Mother and I have had thirteen children, so I can understand the differences between boys and girls. If I happen to feel a little ill, the boys will express some concern and repeatedly ask, "How is Father?" They will shout out to me when they see me, "Father, are you feeling OK?" and then they will go out, never coming near. However, the daughters are different. They won't say much, but they will do many things to try to make me feel better, such as bringing me juices, rubbing my shoulders, and so forth.

In the past, wealthy kings always had more women serving in their palaces than men. Why was that? Simply because women create a more beautiful atmosphere than men.

The important point I am stressing is the significance of the woman in the family. If we were to compare, we could say that men are like the bones and women are like the flesh. Even externally, men are supposed to be bonier and women are softer and plumper. Difficulties often arise in marriages because the woman has the attitude, "When I get married, my husband will take total care of me." That is certainly the wrong attitude.

Have you men ever stopped to consider what it is in women that you envy the most? What do they have that you wish you had? If you haven't thought about that then you are very dull men indeed. How can you appreciate your wife in the future? You say "sensitivity," "softness," and "intuition" -- what else? Let me answer this for you: women can conceive and bear your children and then nurse them at their breasts. That is one thing you men can never do so you must be very envious.

I was made most keenly aware of this recently. I was holding Jung Jin Nim shortly after we brought her home from the hospital and before long I realized that she was very uncomfortable. So I gave her to Mother and she soon fell sound asleep, but she never sleeps in my arms! I felt envious of Mother.

Because of my mission, I cannot listen to anyone else's advice unless I am sure it is the best. I must be the total master of my activities, yet I find myself somehow spellbound by Mother! I always want to tag along with her when she goes somewhere. I am big and Mother is just a small person, but there is a universe of experience between us. I love Mother beyond all the things I must do in the future or the present. My love for her transcends everything else. Certainly between Mother and me there are complications and difficulties which we must overcome but through love we are always able to do that. Mother is the one who must initiate the leadership in the relationship, not I. I have many different responsibilities and much more to accomplish than Mother in the outside world. However, women have the more important role than the men in their relationship.

In the practical sense, you women generally obey me better than the men do. Isn't this true? You men always feel the desire to rise to a position equal to me; you don't so naturally feel you are in the object position to me. When I speak to you and I express some inter- esting idea, you men think, "Oh, I knew that too, Father." Whereas the women just enjoy and throw themselves into the experience of the sermon. Isn't this generally true? This alone is proof that women listen to and obey me better than you men, right? What you are actually saying is that the women are purer than you.

What I am trying to teach you is to become a good ancestor. From this time forward it shouldn't make any difference whether or not you see me often. You shouldn't need anyone else telling you what to do. You know clearly the path you must go according to the Principle and you should not even need any more sermons from me. Many times when God made it clear what He expected from me I didn't even pray to tell Him I would do it, but instead simply did what He expected.

Many people have worked very hard but I always determined to work harder than they. I always slept less and ate less than any of you; therefore I am not indebted to America for anything. I have never worn the finest clothing. Today I am wearing the shoes which I have been wearing for three years. I bought them on sale at a very low price.

These kinds of facts are very puzzling to people. I have never made a habit of wearing neckties, although I have received many neckties as gifts. I only wear them when I must give a sermon or when I must dress up for a special occasion. I never go to a nice Chinese restaurant unless I bring many members with me. I always go to McDonalds otherwise. You Americans probably thought, "He must like McDonalds"; but do you do everything that you like to do? People are curious when they see a black, shiny limousine pulling up to McDonalds' parking lot. It doesn't make sense!

Today I am wearing stylish-looking slacks because Mother insisted that the ones I have been wearing are too old and worm out. I have never worn any rings on my hands, although I could if I wanted to. I certainly don't need any rings to meet with God. I don't look at Belvedere or East Garden and think to myself, "I own that." I am not interested in owning a house; I can make my home in any peaceful place. However, if I didn't have these external things white people in this country probably would not pay any attention to us. Since your church owns such places as Belvedere and East Garden and Reverend Moon is the leader of a world-wide organization, people call you "Moonies" with derision, but inside they feel respect and even awe. It is largely because of this external foundation that we receive attention from the world.

There is nothing for which I am ashamed, nor is there anything which I fear. This is the correct attitude for pursuing God's will in the world.

It is not to maintain the big house for my own comfort that I send you out to do fund raising. Much more money is spent here for the sake of America than the American family has ever been able to raise.

Shall we find our own home? Determine that you will create your home with your own effort and that of your family. Don't depend upon God, the Church or America; they will not do it for you. Are you Americans confident to do that?

In Search of Our Home 7-11-82

You think that I have taught you American women many things. You love and trust me, is that correct? From now on you must truly be different from all secular American women. Think of it: if I had been the sort of man who always cleared things with my wife before acting on them, there would no Unification Church today! I am speaking now of my first marriage. That woman was very brilliant and capable. She told me, "All you need to do is just love and pay attention to me and our child; I will make you happy. Just stay here; why do you have to go to North Korea, anyway? You have no guarantee that you will survive there!" However, I did not listen to her; I only discussed with God and obeyed God's commands. Even more than Abraham, I left everything behind and went directly to North Korea as soon as God directed me. I didn't even go to visit my own home town there in North Korea -- that is not why God sent me. I went to North Korea in order to do exactly what God commanded

When I came to the United States, there was opposition, too. People said to me, "Father, you have success now here in Korea. Why must you go to another strange country and suffer there?" At that time, I left Mother behind and brought only those missionaries who could translate for me. So again I left my wife and children behind and took off for a foreign land. My immediate family felt unhappy, but I didn't pay much attention. Mother felt that she would like to accompany me everywhere I went, but I had to leave her behind. I was coming to a place similar to a spiritual "combat zone." I had to go to all fifty states setting up holy grounds in forty days' time.

In that way, I was able to demonstrate my love for this country. I wanted to be able to say, "I love this country more than anyone else, even any American." In the process of giving true love to this country and its people, I incurred persecution on the worldwide level. Although I received so much opposition and hostility, still I loved this nation with a father's love. Therefore, no one can compete with such love.

Do you feel regret for having given so much effort and time doing your work for God? At this time, you must continue to work hard and suffer together with your spouse and family and you will become the subjects of the Completed Testament Acts of the Apostles of God's Kingdom. Even though you may work so hard you will feel completely exhausted and cannot go on, you will not be finished. You will receive the true, unending admiration of all the people of the future, year after year.

That is why Mother and I have lived with the same spirit, year after year. Mother has given birth to so many children and her body is not the same as it was; she endures incredible suffering. However, I still push her to go together with me everywhere. Do you object to that or do you approve of it? You approve? Does that mean you want Mother to suffer more? No, but you understand the Principle and you know the reasons why I push her. I, myself, am over 60 years of age and I don't really have to work as hard as I do, but that is not the way that I want to live my life. I cannot sit complacently in a reclining chair for even one day.

God is telling me that I should take it easy now, since the age of children has arrived; I could just offer guidance and not work so hard. However, I will not live that way. Do you think God will say, "You have broken the law; I asked you to rest and you did not rest, so I am going to punish you"? No; there is no such law in God's kingdom. Even though God may be telling me strongly in front of all the angels in spirit world that I should take it easy, inside of Him He is filled with pride. He is thinking, "Reverend Moon is really my champion. I am so proud of him."

The Harvest Season of God's Providence 9-19-82

Jesus Christ's goal was to become a perfected man. The greatest saints followed this route he took. Today I am striving to achieve this goal of perfection. Since Mother is too kind and good, I need other women to give me a hard time. That is why I get such a hard time from you American women!

Original Race from One Lineage 12-1-82

I always go to the Holy Ground every day to pray at 5:00 in the morning and sometimes earlier. It is not easy for Mother, but she accompanies me. Mother has her own accomplishments; she is only one woman and she has brought thirteen brilliant children into the world. That is very extraordinary and I could easily become sympathetic toward her situation for that reason, but I don't allow myself to do that. I tell her, "You have your accomplishments, but I have my own suffering, too. My path is equally and even more difficult. Therefore, let us move forward without hesitation."

Sometimes I don't feel very well; I get headaches and soreness throughout my body. Whenever that happens, I push myself harder. Normally people say, "I need another two hours' rest, perhaps a whole day's rest, and I'll be all right tomorrow." However, when I don't feel well I push my body and say, "Get moving." What happens? I find that my pains and headache disappear.

Those leaders who come regularly to East Garden come early in the morning and stay until I go upstairs to bed. At night they often feel very tired but they don't want to say so. Instead they say to me, "Father, I think you must be very tired. Don't you want to go upstairs and get some rest?" I answer them, "You rascals! Get behind me, Satan!" Then I usually stay downstairs even longer than usual.

Normally I go upstairs around one or two o'clock in the morning, but that is not the end of my day. I often sit at my desk and read reports and work on papers. Often I spend the entire night on that chair. Five o'clock comes very quickly and I always go to the Holy Ground to pray.

I can sleep at any time or place. If I sit down for just five minutes, you will hear me snoring very soon. My body is always tired, but I am still pushing myself. Many members think, "Father's body is special. His bones are made of iron and his flesh is not really like everybody else's." That is the way many people try to justify themselves.

Home Church is Our Land of Settlement 7-1-83

True Parents' family is the nucleus. Mother is always right beside me, but since I represent the universe, can I focus on loving her every minute of the day? No, not yet. Why not? Because we are still living in a fallen environment. In the original, unfallen world, we would face no resistance or persecution. Only when we overcome the realm of universal persecution can Mother and I enjoy a total love relationship. I can tell Mother that I love her with my entire heart and soul on a universal scale in an absolute manner only after we transcend universal persecution.

The Cain world is persecuting me every minute of the day. But being in the elder son's position, I have a duty to love them with my heart and soul on a universal scale. Even if the eldest son fell away and occupied a satanic position, it is still the universal truth that the eldest son deserves the most love from his father. Unless he first gives that love unconditionally, he cannot claim the second son. Therefore, if the Cain world persecutes me, I still have to love it with all my heart.

So what is Mother's role? To bring the unification between Cain and Abel and return to Adam. That is Eve's role. Since we are living in a fallen environment, I have to be a public person. I am investing myself entirely for the sake of the world, for the sake of the providence. After fulfilling all the required conditions, I will devote my entire life and love to Mother. That same principle can be applied to you Unification Church members. The fallen world is in Cain's position -- the elder son's position -- and you are in the second son's position. Therefore I have to first love the eldest son, Cain -- the outside world -- before I can claim the second son. You are hit the hardest, in a way, because God's desire is to love the world by sacrificing you. Having to sacrifice you is torture for me. I have to sacrifice Abel in order to love the Cain world. By the same token, True Parents sacrifice their own children for your sake, because they are in the Abel position to you in the Cain position. Therefore, Mother and I love you first and give more time to you than to our own children. Do you follow? Our own children realize this and accept it.

This is a central principle to follow. Unification Church leaders in particular should be aware of where their hearts lie. Rather than your own family, True Parents and True Children should come first. When we restore the world and the entire world welcomes True Parents, accepting our ideology and way of life, then we can love our own children and our own family. This is how the battle is fought. Cain and Abel should unite before they come and offer themselves to True Parents. Therefore, you should love True Parents' children, because only through them can you approach True Parents. For the same reason, the people of the world have to go through you in order to reach the True Parents, so you are their savior. Do you follow?

Actually, I have not yet loved our children as many dads in the outside world do. I have been unable to give them warmth and love, day in and day out, because we are still in a fallen environment. There is a big job yet to do. The mission must come first; the battle must be fought.

Because the Cain world has priority, I must first focus there. How can I even waste one moment? I am concentrating on loving the Cain world and bringing it to God. Mother's role is to bear the suffering endured by all the women of the world, past and present. In the position of Adam, I should be able to embrace and melt all the grievances and heartbreak of women throughout the world. In turn, Mother has to digest and melt all the incredible inner torments of Adam. So the first cross that Mother bears is to digest and embrace my suffering, which is that of Adam and all the men of the world. Her third cross is to digest with love the suffering of all the world's children. Her role is to digest with love. Mother is indemnifying the role of women, men and children.

Then what is my role? They are crosses of the family, the nation and the world. Mother has to carry her three crosses and follow me. I also have to digest the suffering of all men, women and children in history, in addition to my other three crosses. In that respect Mother is following me in obedience, without imposing her will. Until universal restoration is completed, Mother cannot say a word. Her spirit is the spirit of absolute obedience. This is the battle we are engaged in.

Why am I expounding on this? Because we are your examples. You have roles as husband and wife. You women have a husband; you have seen him working with other women as secretaries, witnessers, fund raisers, or whatever. You may start to have doubts and wonder if something is going wrong with him. Women must never harbor that kind of doubt. You should trust your husband as you do God.

Likewise, you men should trust your wives. You should be able to digest everything, having wisdom and love as deep as the ocean. You should be able to swallow, digest and bury everything and anything.

Actually, Mother's spirit is one of total trust. That is the reason for her greatness. I always insist that she attend every public function because, while the universe is being restored, our destiny is to preside as a pair.

The Way God is Pursuing 1-23-83

I want you to understand that God's thinking is so broad and deep because He is God. Therefore Jesus, as the son of God, could make the kind of statements he did. How about Reverend Moon? Is there anyone who has been persecuted or misunderstood more than I have? Stalin and Mao have been criticized for killing so many people. Even though I have never touched one life, I am more accused than Stalin, Mao or anyone else. Instead of killing the enemy, I have just forgiven and loved them. In return, I have been blamed incessantly. Actually, it has been my strategy that if people don't criticize or curse me, I will poke them until they do. "Go ahead," I say. "Go on and curse me!"

The fact that I am criticized by the news media and by society doesn't mean that I am doing anything evil. I am being attacked for doing good things, such as reaching out to drug addicts and transforming them into patriotic, healthy and determined young people. My work is making trouble, but it is for the good. Impossible young people like you who don't listen to parents, teachers, aunts and uncles, or friends, but who are a law unto yourself, come to me and somehow I clean you up and transform you into goal-oriented, dedicated men and women. People just cannot imagine such a thing happening.

According to these criteria, do you understand me to be a good man or an evil one? You may think I am being cruel to you, but actually I am even more cruel to myself. I am the leader of the Unification Church, but if I sleep two and a half hours at night instead of two, I feel I must repent in the sight of God. If I push my members so hard, how can I sleep comfortably?

When I stay at East Garden, I want to wear the same underwear, Tshirt and pants several days or more. Sometimes I don't bother to change underwear for a whole week but Mother complains. I keep saying I can wear them another day. Sometimes things become soiled and I turn them inside out and wear them again. Do you think I do this because there is no washing machine at East Garden or because I have no extra clothes? No, I do it because I am thinking of you. When I take a bath at night, Mother very sweetly takes away all the soiled underwear and puts it in the laundry bin. Then, when she is looking at something else, I come out, take the underwear out of the bin, and wear them again! I do this because my mind is always with you.

I know the fund raisers don't always get a chance to eat regular meals and wash their underwear often, so I want to be united with them. I skip a meal sometimes; I don't wear a clean shirt every day. I don't want to do something if my members aren't doing it. I feel the happiest and most comfortable living like this. I also know that when you members go through mental and physical suffering, you think of East Garden and Mother and me. My mind goes to you, and I support you in thought. Even though my body may be stationary in East Garden, my mind has constant give and take with you members -- not only here, but all over the world.

One missionary died recently. His last words were that he was sorry he couldn't get out of his bed and bow to Father before his death. "Please ask Father and Mother to forgive me," he said; "I wanted to make a final bow to Father but I couldn't." How can I not be connected to such members? Even in spirit, I love them, think of them, work more intensely, and suffer with them side by side. My physical body is limited to one place, but in the world of thought I am unlimited; I can go anywhere. I have constant give and take with all the members, particularly those who think about me. Because I don't want to be burdened by indebtedness to you, I am always aggressively looking for ways to give you more. Therefore, when anyone calls out my name, I will be there.

Beyond space and time, I am leading the movement all over the world. Many people are receiving instructions from me through dreams, visions and voices. I manifest myself in all kinds of ways and give members exactly the right answers. There are millions and millions of such phenomena all over the world.

I stay at East Garden, but it has no joy for me. I feel sorry about riding in a big Lincoln limousine, but when I have to travel a long distance, it is necessary for security. Still, I never feel I have the right to these things. The only time I can sleep well is when I travel, so I sleep in the car. Even there, I feel like I am working because I am in motion, but before I doze off I ask God if I can take a little rest. That is the only time I take the liberty of napping. At East Garden, I don't feel free to sleep. I am always pushing myself, so I never take a nap inside East Garden -- only when traveling by car. Because of this intense give and take of love, all the members of the Unification Church, without exception, can be truly connected to me. If you think of me intensely, my thought waves will match yours -- and even more.

With Whom Shall I Live 2-6-83

It is very important to protect yourself from evil. There is no challenge I haven't thought about and devised ways to overcome. I even tested myself by looking at magazine pictures of beautiful women and asking myself what I would do if one of them crawled into my bed. "I would cut my belly out before I would do anything," I resolved. "When she saw the knife, she would leave quickly!" I considered how I would handle temptation from a beautiful white woman, from a black woman, from an Oriental woman. I considered what special qualities I knew about such women that I could utilize to help me resist their advances. I realized that this was a critical area of temptation because that's how the fall happened.

Even at a very young age, I tested myself daily. When I undertook this mission of liberating mankind, I thought very deeply because I realized that if I could not overcome such temptations, I could not be truly confident. My mission was to liberate God and liberate all mankind. In the process I prayed a lot to make sure that God would protect me and give me the confidence I needed.

Sometimes I was harsh with my eyes. "I really gave you a hard time, didn't I?" I would tell them afterwards. Then my eyes answered, "Yes, you did. But now we are happy because you prevented us from making a mistake." I persecuted my nose, but it said, "Yes, you really gave me a terrible time; I was afraid then, but now I'm glad." I looked at my mouth in the mirror and told it, "You really went hungry until you reached 30 years of age, didn't you?" My mouth answered, "Yes, it was rather difficult to persevere, but I am grateful that I will never have to go through that again."

My ears heard so many unpleasant things, but they confided to me that they are the happiest ears in the world. I have touched smelly, thorny fish and many other disagreeable things, but my hands don't complain about their misfortune. Instead they say that they are the happiest hands in the world. All my limbs tell me, "You are my true master!" Are you the true master of your eyes, ears, nose, mouth and limbs? Has every part of your body become a true part of your being? If not, you need to pray more.

There is nothing more important that fulfilling your mission. Your mission is everything. You should realize that it is not your nation that hinders you and persecution is not what holds you back. Your real limitations are internal. It is lack of confidence rather than persecution that restricts you. In fact, if you set a very high standard for yourself and force yourself to live up to it, the world will stop persecuting you!

I have absolute confidence, so I am never shaken no matter what kind of persecution comes my way. I stand firm as a rock. Therefore, persecution will eventually fade away. I can apply the principles of the internal discipline I have perfected to external situations. Just as I have fortified myself internally, I will defend myself from external slander, persecution and invasion.

Mission and Prayer 6-12-83

We know clearly how Adam and Eve failed along their path to that goal. In order to correct their failure, you must understand what I have been discussing today. Do you think I, too, have had to follow this road of principle or am I exempt because of a special power from God? I had to be the first person to go this path. Satan knows clearly what is needed for God to come into this world; therefore, all his forces were mobilized to block True Parents from reaching all the way to God. He knew that if the True Parents were not established, he would have been able to reign without interference forever.

Satan's forces tried everything to stop the True Parents from achieving unity, striving to block each step which they had to climb. Thus the strongest time of persecution and effort on the part of Satan centered on that Day of the Victory of Heaven. Satan always tries to work through a person's immediate family -- the people closest to him -- in order to get him. The entire family must achieve unity with no one being outside that unity.

Even Mother herself didn't understand what I was doing. All she had to do was have absolute confidence in me and follow my direction. This condition was very significant for Mother. If she was able to support me throughout all the trying times, she was also able to take the victory with me. Whatever I was able to accomplish was equally shared with Mother because she made me the success that I was. You, the children, had the same responsibility as Mother: simply to support the True Father.

Why do you need me? I am a model, an example for you. I am the only one who can show you how to walk each level and be victorious so that you can unify at a higher level. Because the first parents were the prey of Satan and, therefore, became the false parents, only the True Parents can bring God's unity.

There is no one else who knows the true dispensational meaning of the Unification Church, including all the church leaders. They are in just the same position as you in that respect. Nobody but the True Parents knows. The position of Father and Mother is like that of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. There was nobody else to listen to, except the archangel who led them astray. True Parents cannot listen to anybody at this time or discuss things. Do you understand? Many American members think that I listen to Korean or Japanese leaders at East Garden and that I am influenced by them, but that is wrong.

American leaders try to tell me, "Americans think a different way. That won't work in America." Let me ask you: is America the Garden of Eden or anywhere near Heaven? At this time, the true man and true woman have made a couple and must forge the vertical way. Everybody else must follow that vertical way, then make the horizontal way. This is the way of Principle. Do you understand?

Day of the Victory of Heaven 10-4-85

We were conceived and born out of the love of our parents. Parental love is the beginning point of life for everyone. Thus which comes first, love or life? Yes, love comes first. Love brought union which brought creation. Today most theologians are confused about the basic purpose of God's creation. They talk about the creation without understanding its purpose. For most, the conventional theology is to see God as the Almighty Creator and man as His creature, with no ability for the two to become one. They think that God and man must remain separate and that there is very little in common between them. They talk about God but they do not see God as an absolute necessity in man's daily life, and thus they cannot come up with an absolute ideal.

Love is the source of the creation, the source of life. You were conceived in the love of your father and mother; you were born as a baby and grew up in the love of your parents. They changed your diapers and fed you every day, which is any expression of parents' love.

Mother has had many babies and often, when they were almost ready to be born, they did a lot of "exercising" within the womb, kicking and punching. That caused a lot of discomfort to Mother and many nights she simply could not sleep. But I never saw her complain and say to the baby, "You stop that! It's my time to rest now." Even though she might not sleep for an entire night and could only sit up in a chair, she felt joy for the life moving within her. She always looked forward to the birth. That is because of love -- that life was conceived and was born because of love; a child is meant to grow up in love.

Recently, Mother has been taking members from other countries shopping, spending time choosing things for them to wear. Even when she is tired, she goes out for long periods of time. I was surprised and impressed, and I thought about how beautiful it was. Eventually Mother will get old and need a cane, and I can imagine young people joyfully following her around, like kids in a toy shop! What a beautiful scene that would be! She could never do that for money -- only in the name of love.

Heavenly Life 11-20-83

Recently one of the elder members of the Church told me, "Father, you have worked so hard for so long; from now on you must receive glory." For a moment I considered that possibility but I felt it very strange to think about. Then I thought to myself, "No, I will probably continue to do more and more." Then I saw that person was thinking to himself, "Since I have worked so hard, too, I have some reward coming to me." However, that is not the way I think.

Nobody questions the idea that since I have worked hard and long for the sake of the world I deserve recognition. But I immediately reject such thinking; my whole being thinks that such an attitude is wrong.

Many Koreans work hard in America for four or five years so that they can return to their country and have a nice rest. On the contrary, I am looking forward to a trip to Korea now because Korea desperately needs a revival. The Korean nation is suffering; there is so much turmoil and the government doesn't know what to do. I will go there and inspire them and then I will return to America. My trip to Korea will entail a lot of hard work; it certainly will not be a vacation. Do you understand?

Many people say to me, "You are not a young man so you should slow down," but I don't agree. Now that I am over sixty, I am only thinking of how much more I can do. My teaching to you is to live for the sake of others and to start now, during your young years. As you live this way, I know you will achieve a lofty standard by the time you are my age. Therefore I always encourage you to take on suffering and sacrifice for the sake of other people. I know for a fact that this is the very best way of life.

Original Palace of Utmost Happiness 12-1-83

Upon the victory of my prison experience, I can claim the foundation for the Fatherland. Today's World magazine recently printed a testimony by Mr. Chun Hwa Pak. I carried him 600 miles from North to South Korea. Most people aren't even able to go beyond their own needs, but I showed him the example of serving others by carrying Mr. Pak for that distance.

From the earliest days, people were accusing me and even trying to kill me. At the same time, I was helping many people. I was always hungry because I was always giving my food and money to others -- for their school expenses, for hospital bills, and so forth. That is how I started, from the tribal and national level.

If the free world and Christianity opposed Reverend Moon, what kind of indemnity would they pay? From where would that indemnity be paid -- from America or from Christianity or where? Who shall be responsible for the debt they incurred by rejecting the Messiah? The Unification Church must take responsibility because you are in the Abel position. Abel must pay the indemnity.

This is the reason why those in the second position within the Unification Church are always in the sacrificial position. Mr. Eu, the late president of the Korean Unification Church, was the second of the first three couples in the 36 blessed couples. He died in a hospital, not in his own home, about 13 years ago. At that time, our church was facing tremendous opposition from the other Korean Christian churches, as well as from the government.

Also, from my previous marriage there were two sons. The second son was martyred in 1970. He was going out on a summer evangelical mission, like the IOWC, and was killed in a train accident. From the True Parents' family, there was another daughter, named Hye Jin, who died in 1964. She was the second daughter. Our second son was Heung Jin Nim, who was born right after Hye Jin.

I want you to understand that this is the Divine Principle way of the dispensation. This has been true throughout history and for our movement as well. Likewise, it is true for the True Parents' family. You can see for yourself that the Divine Principle is not something I made up, but it is the true principle which has guided history.

The Day of Victory of Love is the most significant day in our movement. You too must manifest the true love of God in your deeds. Without a truly loving spirit, you cannot be worthy of this special day. I did not shed any tears over the loss of Heung Jin Nim throughout the whole time of the funeral. It was only when Col. Pak came back from Korea and reported about the victorious proceedings there, that I finally shed tears for my son. I am a public man and therefore must be stern with myself.

I always preached to Mother, "You are like a tree with its new leaves at the top. When a storm comes, those leaves will blow and the branches will sway. But never forget that the leaves are attached to the branches, the branches are attached to the trunk, which is attached to the root. You will never be separated from your root, no matter how turbulent are the emotional storms that shake you. You must not be broken."

Through this event, the Unification Church will never be weakened but will leap forward. This greatest sacrifice will bring about greater victories. From now on, centering on the True Parents and upon the declaration of the Day of the Victory of Love, vindication will come to us. As long as you love the True Parents more than you love anything else, you will overcome Satan. The power of love will be your vindication because Heung Jin Nim died for all of us and he opened the door so that everyone can be entitled to the privilege of love.

Now your duty is to love the True Parents even more than Heung Jin Nim did. If you have that as your criterion, the power of death will be no more and Satan will retreat. Up till now, Satan was able to conquer and control love but from now on, love shall be governed by God. This is a great, great day. Do you follow?

If you listen again to these points, you will understand these profound truths which I am telling you. Basically I am telling you that the power of love is now able to conquer the power of death. Upon this foundation, I declared the Day of Victory of Love. The satanic world will crumble faster now, but the speed will be determined by you -- the faster you move, the faster it will crumble. That is your responsibility.

The Necessity for the Day of Victory of Love 1-15-84

I have climbed over the hill successfully on every level -- from the individual all the way up to the present world level. According to the Divine Principle, the second sons and daughters are in the position to be sacrificed. This was true even for the second son of the True Parents, Heung Jin Nim. Heung Jin Nim was truly a handsome, attractive young man. He was loved by his brothers and sisters; they all wanted to spend time with him. Heavenly Father has never had a chance throughout human history to really love a true child, particularly within His own bosom in spirit world. But now Heung Jin Nim is in that position with God, representing the true, unstained child of True Parents and God.

If the sacrifice of Heung Jin Nim had not been made, either of two great calamities could have happened. Either the Korean nation could have suffered a catastrophic setback, such as an invasion from the North; or I myself could have been assassinated. Since special indemnity was paid that protected me in Korea at the Kwangju rally -- Satan's specific target day -- he hit Heung Jin Nim instead, at the same exact hour.

As a child, I was hand-picked by God to carry out a dispensational mission. As the chosen champion for God, I have not faltered. Even though Jesus' life was finished at the age of 33, Reverend Moon has moved forward all the way to the age of 64. All this time I have been fighting an uphill battle against all kinds of dangers. Not only have I survived, but I have also been victorious.

The year of 1945 was a golden opportunity for the fulfillment of God's dispensation. If Korean Christianity had united with me completely, the beginning of a new era, the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, would have dawned. Christianity paid 2,000 years of indemnity so if they had united with God's dispensation in 1945 there would have been no more need for suffering. But since they did not, I had to start over again from scratch and take upon myself all the suffering in order to lay a new foundation, step by step. Finally I have come to the worldwide level.

Let Us Go Over the Hill 2-7-84

The suffering and agony of the True Parents in the course of the dispensation is beyond comparison with that of any of the True Children. True Parents have had to endure much more persecution and heartbreak than anyone. True Parents have lived an entirely public life, bearing the responsibility of the universe. Some people have taken advantage of us, even telling us lies. Such a thing is incredible.

Mother and I have suffered, not because we are foolish or weak and helpless; we are very intelligent and wise, and we are stronger and tougher than anyone can imagine. Our suffering is simply because of our public mission. For your sake, in order to bestow upon you the proper tradition, we have suffered. I want to give everything to you and for the sake of the dispensation. Even now I am taking on more suffering, so how can anyone among you feel you have the right to open your mouths in complaint or self-service?

If there were no True Parents, how could God even think about the realization of His ideal, the restoration, or anything? These ideals would never even have the chance to come to the minds of humanity. The scope of my mission is beyond anyone's concept -- bringing light to this darkened and chaotic world. Your attitude should be one of respect and gratitude.

I am talking in such plain language today so that you will understand the plain truth; this should give you the motivation for repentance, as well as obedience. You should have absolute faith in the True Parents. This is the day of a new beginning; everybody must begin a new life. That new life must begin with repentance and in that way we can have new hope and new direction. As we march forward from today, this day will shine as a most meaningful one in history.

Parents' Day 1984 4-7-84

Did you hear the singing of the birds this morning on the lawn? Everyone keep absolutely quiet for a few moments so we can listen to them. What are they doing out there? They are singing love songs to one another. Nature is our textbook. When I hear those birds, I feel inspired to sing a love song to Mother.

The Day of the Love of God 5-20-84

If you think I am comfortable living in East Garden, you are wrong. Even from the secular point of view, I am miserable. Every day I am bearing the cross within my heart. Whenever it is a rainy day, I think about our members and think, "The MFT members must be soaking wet today. God, be with them." When it is cold and miserable, I think about our members living in Soviet satellite countries, some imprisoned and even on the verge of being executed. All of these thoughts are my constant burden.

Since I cannot deal physically with every member around the world, Mother and I try to love and care for those leaders who come to East Garden, as representatives of all the rest of the members. Mother may buy them clothing or I may give them some gift. We want to serve the members by serving their visiting leaders. Mother and I discuss this often and we always have the criterion that we want to buy nicer things for the Church members than for our own children.

Therefore, those who have been martyred in the Eastern satellite countries have ended their lives shouting "Mansei" and facing East Garden. They have not felt complaint or bitterness about losing their lives. They have been victorious and grateful, even in dying. Such people are a great pride to their ancestors and all their future descendants.

Do you think I am setting the right tradition? When the missionaries and other Unification Church members come, I eagerly invite them to East Garden to visit with me and Mother, feeding them good food. Often Mother and I will take them out to buy clothes for them. Why? From the worldly point of view, I am giving special attention to people who are nobodies" while virtually ignoring the "somebodies." How do you think God feels about that -- is He pleased or displeased? This is exactly what the Bible teaches. The person who tries to go up higher will be brought lower. The one who tries to go lower will be brought up higher.

True Way of Life 7-1-84

When there is good food to eat, everybody wants to enjoy it and eat a lot. In such a situation, I am always the first to lay down my fork. This was a true even when I was in prison. I practice this principle wherever I go. When leaders come to East Garden to visit, I never tell them, "Please go away because I need my rest." Instead they are the ones who get tired and finally I pity them and let them go to bed. Then I stay up later than anybody else. Even though I may go to my room, I don't go to sleep.

This is sometimes very painful for Mother. Because my schedule is so arduous, it is impossible for her to keep up with me. Mother spends a lot of time alone, but she never complains because she knows what kind of person I am. She is always proud of me and she always speaks well of me. She has no complaint but rather gratitude and appreciation and support. Mother knows one thing: I do what I do for the sake of others and for the sake of God, not for myself.

True Way of Life 7-1-84

The entire world is watching the Unification Church and Reverend and Mrs. Moon. Many people are curious about Mrs. Moon and how she is taking the recent turn of events. Also they are wondering if the Unification Church is now shattered into pieces and destroyed. But on the contrary, under these difficult circumstances the Unification Church has found itself most powerful. If Mother sheds tears, they are not the tears of tragedy or defeat; they are the tears of unity, tears for bringing hope to the future.

Farewell Speech 7-20-84

I was born for this mission and I have persevered and suffered for this purpose. Now the couple has been created which is unique in all history because we won the victory for true love. For that reason, that couple is called the True Parents. True Parents are the ones who are victorious with true love.

The Way of the Children 11-12-85

Mother, through no fault of her own, has suffered because of me. What about prison? Nobody can be trusted there. It is like the wilderness, without any protection. Mother went to the prison virtually every other day, like clockwork, rain or shine.- The average woman would give up, saying, "Why should I do this? I am disgusted by my destiny." Without knowing the True Parents' ideal and the dispensation, she would have had an entirely different experience. Do you think that she shed a great deal of secret tears? Mother and the family had to go on and conduct five o'clock Pledge service each Sunday, painfully aware that I was in prison. I'm sure they shed a lot of tears.

I will tell you something that I experienced a couple of years ago. I visited one place where there was a member who had decided to leave the Church that very day. It happened that I was on the same airplane with that person. Up to that day, that member had felt that I was his Father, but on that day, he decided that I was nobody. He walked past my seat on the plane, and he didn't even look at me or have the common decency to greet me and say hello. I thought that, even supposing we had not shared a religion or teaching, at least in terms of human decency, is that any way to treat someone you know? Is that the product of individualism here in America? How can someone turn around so completely in one day and create a wall? I was really wondering about that. This is not only one instance -- there have been many in my life. These show the potential ugliness of the human heart.

True Parents and I 6-15-86

Reverend Moon has been faithfully practicing this principle and because of it, a lot of sacrifices have been imposed upon the East Garden family. Mother has had a suffering course because I have very seldom paid her much attention. Likewise, my children have not received much attention from me. Mother's life has been very difficult. When she was only a tender young girl, she met with her giant husband. Can you imagine the suffering her heart has endured? She has had absolutely no freedom. Mother has been bearing within her heart so many pains; she could never even speak about them. She has felt that it was her responsibility to bear her cross and support me. Now that I have accomplished on the worldwide scale, Mother has matured and become truly a mother for the universe.

Road Toward the Ideal 9-7-86

There are laws for offering sacrifices. There are certain persons involved and certain conditions that have to be met in order for a sacrifice to become acceptable. There is a time period that should elapse. For forty years, Father was the person who offered the sacrifice and at the same time Father himself was that sacrifice. The satanic world was blocking everything, trying to make me fail. The satanic disturbances and obstacles have been almost insurmountable. Satan knows only too well that once Father succeeds in fulfilling human responsibility, it is final. For that reason, Satan has tried to block every stage of the game, and in the absolute final stage he pushed me into Danbury prison.

You have no idea how miserable and lonely Father has been all this time. Even Mother and the children don't know fully. Only God and Father know. I don't want you to be indebted to me. Let me be indebted to you. You can become such great men and women, the champions who will create a new history.

Ideal Home Church 12-27-86

Do you think Father and Mother are living in such a relationship of perfected love? Mother's role is absolute obedience and support toward Father. There is absolute trust and fidelity, as well as absolute purity; of course, those things are mutual. That absolute standard has been kept by both. All the children coming from such parents will be of extraordinary dimension on the worldwide scale. Do you follow?

God's Day 1-1-87

Now you have to inherit my mission. The only difference between you and the True Parents is that when Mother and I began our work, there was no path ahead. We had to pioneer on every level and encounter opposition everywhere. But in your case, you have no opposition and the highway has already been laid by True Parents.

Parents' Day and Our Path 3-29-87

(Blackboard.) This represents all the things of creation in the universe. In the center is the human being. In the center of the human being is the family and the center of the family is True Parents. The Old Testament era is represented by the creation; the New Testament era is the era of human beings. The family centered upon true love and the True Parents is the Completed Testament Age. Your family is the microcosm, where the universe is unfolded. The center core is the blessed couple, husband and wife. The children and family form a circle. The tribe, your home church, becomes your world. This represents the whole universe.

You must be capable of offering all things. That position belongs to you; your life is a sacrifice. You are able to dedicate your relationship with your spouse and children for the sake of the higher cause of true love. I have been walking the same path and setting the example. First of all, I don't keep any material possessions that come to me. I give them away for the benefit of others. My own family has suffered more than anyone else. My elder children suffered the most because I almost totally neglected them for the sake of the world cause. I also sacrificed my relationship with Mother. Her suffering behind the scenes is incredible. Why is that? It is only because of true love.

My goal is not just the True Parents' family; my goal is to foster true love that will be prosperous in the world. In order to reach that worldwide target, I am willing to sacrifice anything I have on earth. Of course, I sacrificed myself a long time ago. I have been working according to this rule and my efforts have not been in vain. I have laid the worldwide human foundation so that now even the United States will inevitably listen to my message.

Let Us Go Over the Original Boundary 4-1-87

I know only one way to prosper -- that of giving totally, absolutely, to perfection. That is why my "business" has been booming all over the world, ever since I opened up shop.

We Shall Live in the Original Homeland 7-1-87

Before I went to Alaska, I prepared for three days. I went to the Delaware River and fished in order to condition myself, thinking, "I am going to compete with all 130 professors, and I cannot be outdone. Even though I am the oldest, I should win over them." It was very difficult, but I stayed out later than anyone. Every professor was knocked out when he got back, but I never was. Afterwards, however, I went back to the Delaware and kind of "deconditioned" myself from the intensity and the heat. That kind of fishing is less intense than in Alaska and is good to unwind with.

When I get very tired from fishing, I don't think about taking a rest. I rest, yes, but only by fishing. That's the best way to rest. I do everything as l work for the dispensation. When I feel, "Oh, I must rest now," then I speak in a less intense way. Nevertheless, I continue to speak. That's my idea of resting, not going on a vacation and taking a few days off. That's one thing you have to learn also.

It would be difficult for you American women to live with that kind of husband, wouldn't it? But Mother is different from the American women. Mother doesn't mind her husband working this way. When I don't rest, Mother cannot rest either. When you live this public way of life, nothing will ever bother you. Nor is there ever a truly sad moment. You almost never experience sadness.

Sometimes I apologize to my own limbs, my own hands, saying, "I'm sorry that I overworked you. I know I should let you rest, but I'm not doing that. I know, and I'm sorry." Then I apologize to my feet, saying, "Feet, I know how tired you are standing here for so many hours. You are swollen and I should really put you to rest once in a while, but I'm sorry, I can't. You know why." I apologize to every part of my body. Who can hate such a person? How can those limbs, that torso, that body to which a person apologizes all the time blame him? Do you understand?

If you want to criticize somebody, you should do so only after many hours of tears for him. Then you might say, "You could do better in this way." But not before shedding tears for him. If each of us begins to live like that, our life will immediately turn into a valuable one.

Precious Existence 7-19-97

I have had a miserable course on this earth, but God will appreciate it forever. God will make me welcome in the center point of love. I only want to give you my true love. I don't want money; I don't want fame. I don't want all of America following me. I just want to be completely on God's side.

Original Homeland and the Realm of Heart 8-23-87

Years ago, when I first set foot at Kennedy Airport, I thought about this land's history. I recalled the Indians and the many immigrants who came here. I recalled the many people who have loved this country and sacrificed for its sake. I wanted to love it more than any other person. I vowed to invest more energy, to sacrifice more for this country than any patriot ever did, including any of its original inhabitants, the Indians. I resolved to pour myself out until the whole country overflows. I made that pledge before heaven and earth, and for the past fifteen years I have been carrying it out.

I thought about the War of Independence and placed myself in the position of George Washington. George Washington's situation was sometimes desperate, but I resolved to place myself in the same kind of situation and do better than he did. I keenly felt that if I did not do so, I could not restore this country.

The Way to Grow 8-30-87

Look at this humble horse stable here at Belvedere. Why do you suppose we haven't replaced it with a great temple? This is the starting point for our great prosperity. This humble stable could not be exchanged for the Versailles palace in France. In the future, millions of people will come here to sit and pray and shed tears because this is where true love was taught by the True Parents.

Children's Day 1988 11-09-88

I have suffered and established the course of indemnity throughout my life. Am I attractive or not? My wife has to suffer more than any wife. Mother is so small, yet she has worked so hard and suffered because of me. Who has suffered the most in history to find just one true woman?

The Tribal Messiah 2-5-89

Father left his physical hometown many decades ago. He has lived in many prisons. But when he saw the sunlight come through the prison bars It was the same sunlight in Japan, America or Korea and he always felt great joy. In prison he met his enemies. In Japan, he met Japanese people and thought, "Even though they are my enemies they are close to me." Through his prison experiences Father learned to love the people of that nation.

In spring the mountains were full of flowers. It was so beautiful. Just sitting against a tree in the mountains in spring, dozing, was an unforgettable memory. The basic things we learn are in our hometown. As a child you played and fell down and your nose bled and you came home and got told off by your mother. Then she would wipe your nose and comfort you. When my mother comforted me and I said, "Thank you, mother," it was a great feeling. I could feel that she was proud of me.

I had many brothers and sisters and lots of relatives. We had many beautiful customs. For example, when one relative married and brought his bride to the village, for many days the family members would take turns according to their closeness to the relative to give feasts. So for many days I could go around without feeling hungry. The hospitality and happiness people displayed was beautiful.

When my mother sent one of her daughters to marry, it was like a thief stole the daughter. She would cry for days before she had to send her daughter away to join her husband's family. It was as if she were losing her daughter forever. Today's Unification Church parents have it good. You can be reassured about letting daughters go with the husband that Father chooses. Another thing I cannot forget is watching my mother working. She worked so hard her legs swelled. When I grabbed her legs I could feel how swollen they were. When I pressed my hands against her leg the mark remained for a long time. But she still kept on running around. I was deeply moved by her devotion.

In your hometown you learn the basic things of life, how to put on your clothes and so on. I remember when my mother scolded me, for example when I climbed up a tree. Once she hit me very hard but afterwards she cried and said to my brothers and sisters she was sorry. But I think she did well. I think when parents hit you they feel even more hurt than the child. These incidents of being spanked or hurting yourself become strong, fond memories and make you feel so sentimental about your childhood.

I can see now that the things I learned with my family and my relatives and neighbors gave me the education and strength to build up the Unification movement. You cannot imagine how much I long to return to my hometown. This desire was very strong in me even from very early on when I went to school in Seoul. In my first summer vacation I naturally longed to go home but I didn't. I denied the longing and purposely did not go home.

When I was in school I never ate lunch. I felt I couldn't because there were so many who couldn't afford it. At that time I was teaching Sunday school in Sobingodong in Seoul where they used to have ice houses for the collection of ice from the Han river. (Sobingo means "east ice house.") In those days when I was a high school student teaching Sunday school, my speeches were much more interesting than now. When I cried in front of them, they cried and when I said something funny, they exploded in laughter.

I didn't eat lunch but brought food to the poor people in order to share their suffering. I didn't return to my hometown in order that I could share the loneliness of people and of God.

Hometown 2-12-89

Are you going to become models of God's love? All the women in the Unification Church are so attracted to Father because he is the model of an individual. Many young members are attracted by Father's sons. Members hope that some day their children will marry with Father's children so that they can be connected. Some day you will all be connected through your descendants to Father's lineage. You have to work and prepare for that time.

Our Church and Korea as Seen from the Providence of God 2-19-89

What is the relationship between God and True Parents? I am talking about this with you now but it has taken me all my life to work this out. I have wrestled with God, asking, "What are You, who are You?" and have invested all of my energy in this.

Where is God? I found that God is in true love. The home of God is true love. God needs to establish True Parents who are connected to Him by true love and who become ancestors of a true lineage which is able to pass on true love to their descendants.

Satan has conquered more than 75 percent of the world. Materialism and humanistic philosophy have conquered more than 75 percent of the mind of man. True Parents are investing the absolute standard of love without holding anything back in order to naturally subjugate Satan.

Let Us Liberate God 2-26-89

Love is the reason why God exists, creates and does everything. People who do not know this about God have no real idea who God is. To establish God as the master of the world, the messiah has to fight. Father has been fighting all his life but what is the nature of that fight? I have fought by first taking a beating and then taking the blessing. That has always been the principle of Father's fighting -- take the beating and then take the victory.

Unite, The Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand 3-5-89


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