The Words of the Blaid Family
When Alec said I was to write an essay, and that he would give me the title later, I was intrigued and wondered what the subject might be. When he handed me a card with "judgment of heart" written on it I was taken aback. The words accused me, and I knew I was guilty. When I first accepted the Divine Principles I was overwhelmed. I was overjoyed that something so true and brave should come into my life, that my most secret hopes and dreams should be so completely vindicated, that I could work with God and help to overthrow evil,
Then Satan struck, and my first innocent response became clouded, my heart got covered up under a heap of mistakes, misunderstanding, and pride. I seemed to get caught up in a phony relationship with the rest of the Family from which there was no escape, and the Divine Principles seemed to operate as a harsh, mechanical system that prevented any expression of truth.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder that I didn't explode. Sometimes my feelings were so intense I thought I would burst, but I kept mum. I wasn't going to be the first to crack. This is a terrible state if affairs to be in and, no doubt, to put up with. Fortunately, it cannot last forever. Sooner or later the facade must crack, your real feelings must be expressed and your true nature manifested.
Then your heart can come under judgment, and only then do you have a chance to really change and grow. What a wonderful feeling -- like a drink of water when you're thirsty. Such a relief to return to the world of reality.
Then you can see how Satan fooled you into accepting an outer sham in exchange for the inner truth. Little by little you are robbed of your integrity. The Heart is inner and subject. Unless that changes, all else is fraud. Consequently Satan works hardest of all to prevent expression of heart. He uses all the right words and phrases, -- humility, truth, love, and obedience -- all these are trotted out and displayed on the appropriate occasions.
Judgment of heart pierces and destroys the camouflage, it sets the heart free and exposes the evil that has enslaved it. It is the judgment that Satan hates the most: it is the judgment to the most desired.