The Words of the Powell Family

In Order to Die - 00 - Introduction

James Michael Powell
September 11, 2013

My mother used to tell me I have a selective memory, which is the ability to forget particular experiences at will. I didn't like this idea when she first told me, perhaps because it meant that I was responsible for the way I remember my life and I didn't want to accept that at the time. I've since come to realize though that having a selective memory when I was a young boy was one of my greatest assets growing up. It meant that I could take control over the development of my future, and if I had happy memories then as far as I knew I had a happy childhood! But there are some memories however that I've never been able to forget and I've always wondered why these unforgettable memories have remained with me, because they're not all good. My honest feeling is that they have a story to tell.

I seemed to encounter near constant misunderstanding from others based on my differences and innate inability to fit in as a child at home and in school. The attempts I made with commonly shattered hope to regain some form of recognized normality in my life more often than not ended in complicated failure. Furthermore, my frequent experiences with the spirit world effected my being estranged from people in general and my behavior was thought of as unusual, often strange. The familiar feeling of social isolation was persistent and with problems at home beginning with my parents I would petition for answers to questions about life and happiness, finding the responses I received to be flawed and unsatisfyingly inaccurate to my conscience. It was in a moment of desperation then, needing direction and with sincere determination, delving into a world of limitless possibility aged twelve, that I began a lonely quest to find 'absolute truth' and unexpectedly found myself encountering dimensions more.

I am writing this book because there is a lot that I need to share before I die. When I was a boy too serious for my age I made a depressing decision to not speak about my unique spiritual experiences to anyone. I was told spiritually that if I spoke about such things back then the chances of my being diagnosed a child with severe psychological problems were too high and the restrictions that would be imposed upon my freedom as a consequence were a real danger to my being able to achieve the goals that had been set out before me. As a result of following this internal guidance, which was the only type I found consistent and reliable in my life, I kept my silence for years. My parents suffered during this period because they simply wanted to know what this thing was that was troubling their son and longed to help me but couldn't. I refused to let them even try. I avoided being trapped in a system governed by ignorant institutionalized thinkers, as if wandering a maze with a compass but no map, and I am now able to share freely with you my most central personal experiences from the world that most people just don't touch.

This book contains my life testimony and I have written it to convey a message. I have written everything as it happened so you will not need to think too much when reading each chapter in turn, but its content may still amaze you. If you have not had any spiritual experiences before then this book will surely be an eye opener. If you are however endowed with open spiritual sensitivity, then I ask that you take it easy as this is just one person's account. Whether you're endowed with open spiritual sensitivity or whether you're not, please read this book prayerfully and consider its content deeply as there's a lot more at stake here than just reading a book.

Thank you.

James Michael Powell 

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