The Words of the Kovic Family

Coming Full Circle Part 3

James W. Kovic
January 2008

Now, even though I came full circle emotionally, the story isn't quite over yet. Not by a long shot. You see, the church didn't have another Blessing in 1987. There wasn't even a Holy Wine Ceremony following the matching then either. From what I heard, Reverend Moon wanted to wait until a date just before the actual Blessing for these couples to formally engage the couples with the Holy Wine.

You see, I wasn't the only one whose marriage went belly up. It seems that a substantial percentage of those 2075 couples blessed in 1982 had some kind of difficulty which ended up in a dissolution of many of those marriages. So, Reverend Moon didn't want to have the Holy Wine Ceremony right away. It seems that he meant to match these couples and then allow a period of time for them to get to know each other before giving all of them God's Blessing. Well, however they explained it; I can't recall, really but it didn't really matter to me very much.

And get to know my newly betrothed fiancé, I did. I was in love with her like I had never been in love with anyone in my life. I had girlfriends in high school. But I never met anyone like this woman ever before. But there was a very clear reason why I fell in love with her. As I said, Hong-Yu and I worked out an agreement just before we, as souls, incarnated on Earth before we were born. That experience of falling in love was the glue that kept us together and it was what let me know that there's something more powerful between the two of us than a marriage certificate. We both knew that the two of us wanted to make this lifetime the final lifetime. Therefore, we needed to work together, cooperate with each other, feed and nurture each other spiritually. And actually that's what we've been doing for the last thirteen years. But this part of the article is about the road leading up to our wedding and when I get done telling you all about it I'm sure you'll all agree what a most unique wedding it turned out to be.

Well, she went back to her mission with CARP in Austin Texas. Yea, she was in America. She wasn't in China. You see, Hong-Yu Wang joined the Unification Church in America around 1983. As a graduate from Beijing University with a degree in Astronomy she decided to come to America and get her masters degree at The University Of Texas in Austin. But then soon after starting her master's degree program she met the "CARP organization" also in Austin working at UT. She had impeccable English skills and, as a lot of people experienced, she was very inspired by the vision of Reverend Moon and of his organization for creating an Ideal World. She worked extremely hard in CARP and you couldn't find a more dedicated to it's mission. Not like me. To be completely honest, much of the time I was in the church following 1982 when my whole world dissolved right in front of me, was spent just in survival mode.

I was very much disengaged from investing my entire heart into the purpose of the Unification Church. But that had it's purpose and it's place too as I will soon speak to you about, in yet another article.

And I went back to Seattle, Washington. I was so infatuated with writing Hong-Yu. Maybe it was because I was so much in love with her. Maybe it was because over the years I had, through keeping a journal, developed my writing ability to such an extent that I could freely express myself in the written word. Nevertheless, I loved to write to her. There was never a letter that she sent to me that I didn't answer with in excess of at least five or six pages.

I still have those letters bound in rubber bands in a box stored in a closet in our house. I've read them recently and you know what? They're kind of ridiculous. No, they are ridiculous. The reason is, is that they go on and on and on about nothing but encouraging her to embody and live the ideals of our Unification Church religion. It was so silly because that was always something I would have wanted to do but never got around to doing. I was a complete hypocrite. But I kept writing her these religiously fanatic letters as if her spiritual life hung in the balance while I fed her the manna of truth. But she never complained about that. One thing about my wife is that, she is very wise. She's been such a wonderful mother to our children; she's very good with taking care of our finances; (thank God!) but most of all she is very wise. It was only years later that she commented about all of those crazy letters that I sent her. But they weren't crazy, they were insane.

Another thing about Hong-Yu is that she has always been very loving. She used to send me these care packages. They'd contain clothes that she bought for me. I guess she was very observant of my physical dimensions when we first met and completely sized me up because not three months later she sent me a few pairs of Docker Trousers. She was always sending me stuff. She sent me photos of herself and of events that were going on with CARP too. There was this one photo she sent of me when she had gone to the Texas coast for some R & R. Hong-Yu is very pretty. I mean, she stole my heart away with her presence, this aura about her. It's not so much her physical beauty but that's not in such short supply either. The thing is that when two souls meet in the physical world who are meant for each other, there's something in their energy body that attracts each other. It's like there's this alarm that's set to go off at a very specific time when they eventually get around to meeting each other and then it goes off. It's more than falling in love. Oh, it was that too, I guess, but more predominant than that crumbling of each individual's defenses in a romantic encounter was this alarm that went off just after Reverend Moon matched us together.

It just had the power of getting my complete undivided attention.

Now, where was I? Oh yea, that photo of her on the beach. Now, up until then I had always seen Hong-Yu in these clothes that seemed to always hide her body. In this photo she was wearing high cut shorts and a t-shirt while flashing this cute little smile into the camera lens. I couldn't stop looking at that photo for a long time.

Okay, well don't think that our relationship was always so rosy and loving and wonderful. There have been plenty of times throughout our 21 year marriage that have been very challenging. The thing is that you couldn't ask for two completely different people than Hong-Yu and I. But most of those differences between us, I would have to say, were mostly due to behavioral problems with me. Yea, she has her problems too but to be honest, for much of our relationship I've been the inconsolable idiot. As I look back on it, it's really quite funny, really. Actually it can only be funny in retrospect because during the time we were both getting to know each other and changing or refusing to change thinking it was the other person who needed to change, we were knee deep in all of this crap that we were going through. And I'll say this in all truthfulness because if it wasn't for a little wisdom I learned along the way during the time we were going through all of our stuff, you know the baggage that each marriage partner brings to the table, we would have divorced a long time ago.

Yes, it was in the fall of 2005 when I finally woke up and realized what was going on in our relationship. But I'll make a mental note of that story which I'd love to tell you about and get back to what I really want to say.

Okay, it's now been twenty one months since we were matched. It's December 1988. Whoa, that's almost 20 years ago. How time flies when you're having fun. Whatever. It's the twelfth hour and preparations are being made or probably have been made for some time now, for The Next Blessing.

The hitch is that it will not be at Madison Square Garden, nor will it be in New York City or in America for that matter. This Blessing will be in South Korea in January 1989. Now given the fact that up until now Hong-Yu has been on a student visa that she's been consistently and religiously renewing, we've been working on getting her a green card. Boy that is a story in itself. "Yea but you're an American Citizen. Shouldn't that have been a slam dunk to arrange for her to become an American citizen?" you might ask. Yes and no. I don't know why but it was a real pain in the ass going that whole immigration bullshit. Perhaps it had to do with some karma we had to burn off so that our relationship would be assured or something but it turned into a very stressful situation. And that's another story I shall address at another time.

Well, Hong-Yu finally did get her green card, that legitimacy of being a temporary citizen until she becomes an American Citizen. but that also means that she cannot travel abroad. And so what does that mean as far as The Blessing goes?

Well, she can't go!

She Can't Go! … Those were the strangest three words I had ever heard of. I quickly came to grips with the unfortunate fact that as far as our Blessing, I'm going to have to go solo. Well, what does that mean? That, my friends will be the subject of the next part of this article which you won't want to miss. 

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