I Don't Feel Father Has "Gone" Anywhere

R. Kenny Bickford
September 26, 2012

Ever since being in His presence, almost 40 years ago, I have never once felt any distance from Father and Mother. They have always been in my life and in my dreams. You see I have never had anyone till they saved me. I was alone my whole life till they came into my life. I don't care how sinful I am. I don't care how unworthy I am. I am not very smart. all I can tell you is how much they mean to me. They are my Father and Mother.

My physical mom would get so angry at True Parents and at me. I tried to explain, but she went to her grave hating True Parents. My whole life, everything that has ever meant anything to me was taken away, except for True Parents, They were always there. Sometimes I felt so sorry my life didn't have more meaning in God's eyes, because I really wanted to make a difference. No matter how hard I tried, I never made a difference. I will go to SW never having accomplished the 4 PF. All I ever wanted was to love and hold Heavenly Father in my arms and cry. I once stood behind Father, looking at the creases the sun had made on the back of His neck for a couple of hours, it was the most Bless-ed day of my existence on earth. I know He could hear my thoughts. I kept saying to Him, "I want to put my arms around You Father and Hug You, but I know I am not worthy, not even your immediate children are allowed that luxury." I kept repeating over and over again and again," You'll never know the preciousness of this day, You'll never know the preciousness of this day," All I could think about was my wish as a young boy, "if Jesus comes back, I want to help Him and be with Him."

I wish I could have accomplished what some of my brothers and sisters around the world have accomplished. My life belongs to You, Father and Mother of Humankind, please continue to guide us as we follow your blueprint on our journey Home.

Aju