The Words of the Sayre Family

Matching the Second Generation

Rob Sayre
March, 2001
New Tripoli, PA

We were not surprised when Father announced that he would no longer match 2nd Generation children, but instead the parents would. It just seemed like a very logical and normal step. The Courtship model described in I Kissed Dating Goodbye was a water shed for my girls. They knew the Principle through Summer Camps and had an internal connection to God on their own. This book gave them specific coping skills and strategies on how to survive in High School. They both have attended public schools and no other BC's live close, so they have been on their own.

The PLA last summer was also powerful. Being part of a larger group was very helpful.

Two years ago, they made a purity pledge and what we had to learn as parents is to trust them and take their pledge seriously. This meant trusting them to know when and how to keep relationships with boys as friends and not exclusive. They have also seen many friends, boys and girls go through romance and breakup, which is more powerful than anything we could provide.

I expect to ask close friends who know us and our kids to help us in this process. I can't imagine looking at a list or a bunch of pictures and making a choice. I envision a process, much like courting where kids, parents and others can help two young people find True Love.

Ultimately, I think we as adults need to face the fact that our children must make the commitment to these choices and must "carry their own water."

I also think that their timing may differ from ours. I believe this will be a maturing process for each family and for our community of faith.

I also think that the parents of each child will have to provide some kind of on-going financial support for young couples.

I will follow the discussions and other events in the DC area. Those of us who live in distant locales appreciate the work going on there.

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