The Words of the Nishimura Family

STF First 2 Weeks Fund Raising Testimony

Wakako Nishimura
October 2004

My situation with God right now is probably the most difficult. Of course, Iíve always believed in God, but belief and faith are two completely different things. Iím struggling very hard to believe in God already, and faith is another struggle, thatís more difficult. I believe FR, no matter how difficult, is helping what little faith I have in God, though. Itís funny, but faith in God is one of the most important things that I wish to gain here on STF. Most of the kids on STF already have faith in God, ant itís sad that I still have to achieve this goal; I felt as if Iím starting from scratch, while everyone else is two steps ahead of me.

My team... actually, I donít really have any real problems with any of them. I admire our "crusher" the most out of everyone here. I admire all of them in their own way, but I truly believe Haluko has a heart of gold. I know in the future she will be doing so many great things. When youíre around her, you can automatically feel a warm and loving aura, which is why I believe sheís such an accomplished fundraiser. Our team captain, Kyung, is completely different from what I thought an STF team captain should be like. Before STF I thought I would struggle the most with my captain, but thatís obviously not the case. Heís very inspiring, and is basically the type of leader I believe I needed the most for my first-time FR experience.

Our driver, Erik, is also a great person. I admire him so much for leaving his wife and children behind for the sake of STF. Iím completely grateful for having him on our team; heís nothing short of admirable. Basically, Iím learning an incredible amount of lessons from all of my team mates, and even more so when I struggle with them.

FR is incredibly difficult, to be blunt. Itís so much more challenging then what I expected. Out of everyone in the van, Iím the least experienced in not only the language, but FR in general. It was difficult. My external results are not the worst, but theyíre also not the best, which is the most difficult thing for me to accept. Iím so used to being the best, or at least second best, but here, Iím right in the middle, and itís hard to even keep that position. Itís even harder knowing the fact that the crusher of our team completely deserves that title. Itís sad to say, but I know I will never be even half as loving to the people as she isÖ

My feelings now... I didnít believe it was possible, but I actually miss everyone in my family a lot. I know everyone gets homesick, but I left four younger siblings by themselves when I came here, and Iím always praying and thinking about them and their safety. Because Iím always thinking about my family, Iím kind of depressed a lot. Itís always difficult FR when Iím thinking about my siblings. I do hope in the future that I will not be too depressed about my family and concentrate more on FR.

Determination: I am pretty determined to get to the top of our team in FR. Iím of course determined to reach my external goal, but I believe my internal goals are so much more important. Iím always so focused on my external goals that I forget my internal, so I guess Iím pretty determined to be focused on my internal goals. Iím also very determined not to leave STF, or quit. Prove to myself and my friends and family back at home who didnít have any confidence in me coming here, that I can take STF. I can do this. I will be here until graduation, and not leave before.

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