The Words of the Mathison Family

Nan Sook

James Mathison
May 9, 2001

Nan Sook was really in a bind. Maybe it would have been best if she had brought the problem of her husband's totally unacceptable behavior up at a meeting with all four grandparents present. True Father has said that it's the grandparents who are supposed to be the wisest and the most loving in a family. She could have tested that theory!

The problem with that, as she expressed in her book, was that she feared True Parents' power over her as a person -- her total inability as a person to stand up temporarily in opposition to True Parents for what she really felt in her heart was right and wrong.

Remember how True Father said he had to stand his ground and make his case in opposition to both God and Satan -- until God Himself gave in and accepted True Father's opinion that the root of sin was an unprincipled sexual act. Ask yourself why God made True Father go through all that! The bind that Nan Sook was in was similar, in that she had to stand her ground for what she knew was right.

As True Parents' daughter-in-law, and wife of their eldest son, Nan Sook had an incredibly important providential position and responsibility -- she should have stood her ground and made her case concerning Hyo Jin Nim to True Parents, until convincing them to support her by reining in and disciplining their wayward son.

However, Nan Sook describes herself as meek and shy by nature, and to make it even more difficult, she was thoroughly indoctrinated from birth in the Confucianist principle of absolute obedience to authority figures whether they're right or wrong -- which (as we all know!) is an abuse of the Cain/Abel paradigm.

She was thus too weak and confused to have the spiritual strength and determination of heart to persist in standing up for what was right until she literally forced True Parents to address the problem of her husband's terrible behavior.

Satan's side also worked to destroy Nan Sook's faith in the goodness of True Parents. Nan Sook began to believe that True Parents didn't love her; that by money and power True Parents would ultimately side with Hyo Jin-Nim, take her children away from her, and kick her out from her own family. Like Eve, she believed less in God's love than in Satan's lies.

With this painful belief in her heart, she kept a smile on her face for all the family portraits, until the night she actualized her secret plan to run away with her children.

What to learn from this whole sad story? I think it is this: We should never stop believing that God, like True Parents, wants what is right and good for each of us; however, for reasons having to do with personal and ancestral indemnity that I can't fully understand, we are often required to go through hell and high water to bring about that right and good result.

With hindsight, it's easy to point out anyone's mistakes. How difficult it must have been for Nan Sook! If her former husband has been forgiven and not her, even though he caused the problem, it's only because he asked for forgiveness, while she still can't see what she did wrong. I wonder how long it took True Father's first wife to realize her mistakes?

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