The Words of the Lee Family
The following talk was given on March 31 to sisters preparing to go out on IOWC teams. One of the 36 blessed couples, Mrs. Lee, is in charge of Jacob House, a nursery for blessed children in Tarrytown, New York.
For four years I have been educating mainly the elder sisters who take care of the children at Jacob House. During that time I have tried to give internal guidance.
Two weeks ago Father spoke to all the sisters for five hours. The main point that I got from Father's talk was that he is trying to train you to become capable of initiating any kind of mission or responsibility, and help you to become well-rounded people. He said that for three years he fasted on his birthday, and during that period he never ate more than three times a day. Through such discipline and self-training he prepared himself to become a more capable and reliable person from God's point of view.
We received this great Blessing because of the accomplishments of our ancestors. There are many devout people living in the spiritual world, and they cannot participate directly in God's providence on earth at this time. The blessed couples which Father redeemed from the fallen world are so precious; Father restored us and gave us permission to be called the true children of God.
Even though a sister can do many missions, if her personality is not approved by God, then what she does has no value. Only those who are recognized by God can really live in the true world of God. Through training you can inherit love by practicing it, and thus become a person who is recognized by God. Father is driving us to this important training for this very reason: so that your personalities can be approved by God.
Ye Jin Nim once asked Father,
"How can I take care of my younger brothers and sisters?"
Father's answer to her was,
"Instead of asking them to respect and follow you, you should serve them and live for them from the bottom of your heart. If you continue doing that for each one, then naturally they will all come to respect you, open their hearts and say, 'Ye Jin Nim, I need you.' You can raise them to have this kind of heart by totally serving and living for others."
Once you sisters really unite and make beautiful harmony, people will be drawn to you; all creation and even God Himself will be attracted to you, wanting to join with you in that kind of wonderful unity and harmony.
One person who causes disunity is like a hole in a big net. "Fish" will escape through that hole; people won't want to come and visit; and if they do, they'll slip away again. If such is the case, we can never prosper.
Before criticizing and complaining against anyone, you should first look for the unique good points in others and try to learn from them. At the same time you should try to develop your own strong points. As you associate with many different kinds of people your personality will naturally become more round and beautiful, and everyone will want to be with you.
You can discover many things. For example, there are different types of people corresponding to spring, summer, autumn and winter. But if you criticize and despise others, then God cannot be with you: He doesn't like the person who is avoided by others. Your prosperity or decline is decided by yourself, by how you feel, think, and act towards others. You are the determining cause of your own future.
Everyone struggles inside. When you are bearing a cross, if you can refrain from expressing it in words, the burden can be resolved later. But if you put your complaint into words and utter things like, "Why was I sent to this region? Why do I have to do this? I don't like... ", which influence others, then this substantial act becomes part of your accumulated record. Later, when God tries to give you greater blessing, Satan will point out your record to God and claim that you are disqualified because of what you said. So when you go through difficulty and want to say something please remember to keep it inside; make effort to resolve it and overcome it internally, through prayer.
Father regards prayer as something very serious. Every morning at 5:00 he and Mother go to the holy ground to pray. Sometimes if it rains the security guard brings an umbrella to protect them, but Father says, "Please, no, thank you," and pushes the guard away. Thus Father maintains his standard of prayer in the early morning.
In my experience, when I prayed very deeply, making a foundation of faith, even if many problems arose, someone would always come to help the situation; in addition, through visions, new power was given to me to digest and solve problems. Of course, praying doesn't prevent troubles from coming up. However, without prayer, your development is limited, and when difficulties do arise, you have no one to counsel you, no place to go. Then you might get stuck and retreat.
Women should especially pray for Heavenly Father, for True Parents, and for their families. Father told us that when a husband and wife really serve God, live according to His will, and have a deep desire to bear children who are better than themselves, then though they might have many shortcomings, their children will reflect their prayer and more closely resemble God and True Parents. While Father and Mother are here on earth and can speak to us directly and give us the Blessing, children of greater caliber will be born than in the future. This chance occurs only once in history.
Mrs. Won Pok Choi, president of our Little Angels School, called me recently and talked to me about many important things. She said that women must be very warmhearted and should concentrate on human relationships. Through the fall, the internal beauty of Eve was lost.
Women should be mindful of the way they speak, for their manner of speaking will determine their circumstances and how happy they are. Instead of permitting anger, greed or any kind of ugliness to be reflected in your facial expression, you must restore Eve's original beauty by embracing everyone together with God, expressing a natural mind and a warm heart. A smiling face full of affection is the source of happiness and fortune.
You should know that people look at your hair first, no matter how everything else is. If your hair is not well taken care of, it gives an unpleasant impression. Keep your feet clean; otherwise the bad smell that comes from them creates an uncomfortable feeling. Be careful about the way you walk; never shake your hips or carelessly let your underwear show. Even when you laugh, think about the effect of your laughter: your purpose should be to express internal beauty, never to get attention.
Father always looks for the heavenly standard. Think about these internal and external points and correct them if necessary.
Father said that no matter what kind of wonderful capabilities a sister may have, if she doesn't support her husband, but instead thinks that she is superior to him, or that another man is better than he is, then God will not be able to give her any blessing. A wife who does not support her husband is not a true wife; she is not competent or admirable, regardless of how proud she may be of her own capabilities.
The words of blessed wives especially affect relationships within the family. If you utter words which hurt your husband or children, then you will cause fear and damage which cannot easily be restored. A wife should never be unpleasant and drive away the guests of her husband, for if she does, she will drive away fortune and happiness as well.
Beginning with The Parents, there are now the 36 couples, the 72 couples, 120 couples, 430 couples, 1800 couples, 2075 couples, the 5863 couples, and re-blessed couples. Hundreds of thousands of children will be born. Father wants to see all of these children become like himself, able to embrace mankind and take care of many people with a big heart and a big mind. But if the children are narrow-minded, this will be a source of blame for our True Father.
If, for example, the mother hates someone and doesn't want to unite with him or her, saying, "I cannot work with that person; I don't like that person," her children also will be unable to unite with other children, and instead will try to discriminate against others or isolate themselves.
The mother plays the most important part in the education of the children. You should make it your heavenly habit to give them good training and guidance. When children reach a certain age, they no longer listen to their parents so easily; if you give up before that time, these children will become very difficult and even go away. The best way is to show them a good example from the very beginning. If the mother fails to live a public life, many generations will suffer because she did not live up to her true role.
The mother must really learn how to live for others, especially in an international situation where people are from many different backgrounds and cultures. She must embrace all these people with a big mind; otherwise the children cannot become broad-minded themselves. Father said very clearly that if the mother is bad, then her marriage can never prosper and the family is doomed to ruin.
Some years ago blessed wives were also mobilized for the CARP condition, and many of them delivered their children while they were working for CARP. The children who were born at that time were generally above average in quality.
Father also said, however, that if a husband and wife have resentment, anger or blame in their hearts, then that, too will be reflected in the children. If during pregnancy the mother bears resentment toward someone, the child will reflect her heart very much, and may even come to resemble the person the mother hated.
If you have not prepared a good foundation before birth, it is too late to start educating your children afterwards. Your efforts to unite as husband and wife influence the heart of your children very much. Try to accomplish all that you do with your whole heart, finishing what you begin and never giving up. Such an attitude will be transferred to your children. Think about that before you become pregnant, afterwards is too late.
When you have a baby, you may think, "The baby's head is so small. I shouldn't burden the baby so much." This is wrong, because, actually, their small brains have an amazing capacity to absorb and to digest. The mind should be always working and developing, so that the baby's character can develop well. You can even teach the baby three languages at the same time without any problem. Mothers should learn the Korean language, no matter how difficult it may be, so that you can educate your children. If blessed children don't speak Korean, they will feel lonely and limited.
In our nursery and kindergarten the main emphasis in education is on human relationships. If you do not have good relationships with others, neither will you have a good relation with the spiritual world. Unless you digest your relationships here on earth, you'll have problems which cannot be solved in the spiritual world. One kind of person will act only according to emotion, saying he doesn't like and can't work with someone, and lock himself away for three days. Another kind of person may experience difficulty in working with someone, but will persevere and continue to try to work together. Father says that God would certainly choose a person who tries to improve his relationships rather than the one who tries to escape.
So you have been serving Heavenly Father, the will of God and the True Parents, and now it is time to start your families. Your mission for the family is so good and so great. If you cannot successfully support your husbands and educate your children, you will be unable to fulfill other missions for God and 'True Parents.
I have the strongest conviction that through your course in the next three years you will gain the opportunity to have wonderful children, a wonderful blessing. Going from state to state, city to city, trying to love the people and the creation with all you heart, facing difficulties and overcoming them is the best training Father could give you. I will pray for your success. Do your best out there for your own blessing and perfection.