The Words of the Lay Family


William Lay
June 2, 2001

Father was born in a small village in North Korea. His interactions were limited to his relatives and to the people in his village and some neighboring villages. There may also have been some Japanese overseers that he observed. Japanese and Koreans did not intermarry. The marriages he observed were among Koreans who shared a strong common culture, and basically thought in the same way.

In the world of Father's childhood, men were the masters of the family, and women obeyed their husbands. Dissension and conflict in the family were limited by the mastery of men. Husbands were not reluctant to strike their wives. It was considered an important and natural part of marriage. In that context, divorce was almost unheard of, and children were therefore spared this destructive experience. So, it was a given that "enemies" stayed together. This is not the ideal for marriage, and there is always a cause and effect reverberation until the ideal is established.

Very early in his life, Father was fascinated with God's pair system - male and female, husband and wife. He watched insects and birds, and even did his own matchings, and probably, wedding ceremonies.

He noticed that in some marriages, the spouses were more similar than others, where they were more different. He noticed that the differences often produced more struggle, and maybe even unhappiness in those families. But, maybe surprisingly, the children seemed to benefit from the fact that they came from something bigger and broader. He also noticed that there was discord between the ancestors (spirits) in some marriages, but when the parents were able to persevere and overcome, the children benefited.

Father has been mindful of that in making his matches. He sometimes encourages people who are quite different to marry one another. Theoretically, everyone can have a successful marriage with God's help. However, as a practical matter, many couples are overwhelmed by the difficulties they face. The followers of Jacob, Moses, and Jesus walked a path similar to that of their central figure. Father and his first wife were divorced. This affects the path of all blessed couples, but does not predestine every marriage to fail.

Although the actual facts of Father's life are sufficiently remarkable and instructive, human religious nature leads people to enhance their stories and create myths and religious lore.

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