The Words of the Haft Family

Abstinence Education Programs

Susan Haft
October 10, 1999

When I gave abstinence education in the CIS for 3 years, and I was received with kisses by the students and presents, I thought, "I could never give an abstinence message in America. The kids would laugh me out of town".

I found quite the contrary to be true. The kids are starved for this honest give and take about issues they are so concerned about-sexuality, love, peer pressure, STDs, etc. We talk quite frankly and explicitly but all our answers go to the point of how sexual abstinence until marriage just makes sense. Sometimes they won't leave the room after the time is over because they still have more questions! And I'm working in an area where 50% of all children are born to a single mom and which has the highest rate of HIV per capita in all of America.

I am finding that hetero-kids here are doing anal sex to 'keep the virginity of the girl' (not realizing this runs one of the highest risks in contracting HIV or an STD) and to avoid pregnancy, and believe-it-or-not, using 3-4 condoms at the same time (I tell them, "How romantic! And when you get an incurable STD, you can wear all of them every night for the rest of your life with your wife!"). They don't know that some sexually transmitted diseases such as HPV, can be passed on by infected body fluids just being on their skin.

If a surgeon is operating on a patient with HIV, he is covered by protective clothing from the top of his head to his toes. Its interesting to note that basically our young people today are being told, "If you're not sure if someone has HIV, just get completely naked and wear this condom for protection." But, then they are being told that if you know that person has HIV, don't have sex with them at all. I guess some adults believe pure ignorance is protection enough.

Young guys are being hit on by the young girls too (Thank you N.O.W.) and I tell them, "You think it proves something because your scorecard is full? No way. It takes a Real Man to keep his pants on!" If you could see the look of relief on those guys' faces, when they realize they don't 'have to have sex', you would melt.

Sometimes, I ask the guys, "How many of you want to marry a sex-godess who has had sex with 10-20 guys and will please you night and day." Almost no one raises their hand. "OK, how many of you want to marry a virgin who will always be faithful to you?" They all raise their hands. I tell the girls what the boys answered and tell them not to let them 'practice' on you (and vice versa of course).

One of the most rewarding times in giving abstinence education lectures has been when the students keep asking questions and refuse to leave the auditorium until I promise them I'll be back. The other reward for doing this work is actually using this manual as a guide on how to speak to my own children (ages 11, 13 & 15) as well as their friends. My daughters' friends even keep asking them when I will come to them.

Anyway, I am so grateful that there are those has never given up on our young people and see their potential for a real cultural revolution of Purity and True Leadership.

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