The Words of the Crostwaite Family

The Winds of Change in Israel

Susan Crosthwaite
June 19, 2004

When True Father announced the Heart to Heart Rally for the 27th of May in Jerusalem I felt that I could not go, mostly because the economic burden on my husband was weighing too heavily at that time. Ashley is part of the IIPC foundation of 84 brothers and sisters who were in the USA, Korea, Japan and Israel; having been away for 5 and a half months up ‘til February. Although we are so deeply grateful to be a part of that, we have dug ourselves another monetary hole, and have been trying to fill it in again. This burden seems to be carried more heavily by my husband in our family – he definitely takes the greater responsibility for it and has been working 20 hour days since coming back home. So, I felt very strongly that I needed to comfort his heart and demonstrate my support by saying ‘no’ this time. His response was "I will support you to go if you feel you should go." So, I told our local church leader’s wife to consider that I would be ‘in the wings’ just incase they were not able to come up with enough people. After Sunday Service on the 16th I went to Cecilie to ask if I am needed. As we were talking, another sister came to her and offered to pay for someone’s air fare. For me this was the answer that I should go to Israel. A few days later another sister gave money towards the hotel expenses and our local church gave the rest for the other program expenses. The final part of the puzzle that made it possible was the fact that we have a young man of 19 (whose parents are in Africa) staying with us for 2 months before he goes to STF. Davi was familiar with many of the details of the children’s activites and needs and they feel very comfortable with him – considering him as their cousin/brother.

So, it seemed that I was destined to go to this heart to heart for women! When Ashley was there in December he had wept and wept every day feeling profoundly connected especially with Heavenly Father and Jesus and Moses.

Ashley was a 2 day and 21 day Divine Principle lecturer for many ( more than 10 years ) under Tiger Park and Dr Seuk in the US and Russia; it was he who really opened up a new relationship with Jesus for me when I listened to his talks about Jesus life and watched behind the scenes his sincere preparation to speak. As we prepared for leaving he asked me to find connections to be able to build a ‘Peace Garden’ in the Holy Land. Ashley was the designer and main builder of the Peace Garden in Belfast that was built between 1999 (with the RYS Service for Peace) and 2002 at the Columbanus Centre for Peace and Reconciliation. I took his words very seriously as I set off, and was often fishing around for connections with people to help to make it happen. The first person I told about the garden was our Croatian/Israeli tour guide in our bus on the first day. Berta sat with us at the lunch table in the light airy and beautiful kibbutz dining room.

We entered into lively conversation about her husband who had grown up on a kibbutz as a second generation of the kibbutz. She explained that it’s very different for them because although their parents chose to come to the kibbutz life, the second generation have not chosen it, and by the third generation many have lost the idealism of their grandparents, and feel the need for responsible ownership and family relationships more strongly than their desire to build a communal system. I responded by saying that many of our group belong to an organisiation that also have ‘first generation’ and ‘second generation’ so that we can comprehend what she is talking about. She said that she knows we are Unification Church members and that she has read the Divine Principle. Also she said that before our tours began she had reached a point of deep depression in her life because of all the fighting, death and suffering. Through being with our tours she has gained hope again. This lunch time conversation opened up a doorway for me and I felt very confident and urgent the need to talk with her more, especially when we were in the Church next to the garden of Gethsemane.

There beside the rock which tradition says is the place where Jesus asked God to ‘let this cup of death pass from me’ I said to her, "You know, Father Moon has told us that Jesus didn’t really want to die and he was asking God to allow him to keep going because he was destined to build a family." She replied something like this, " Yes, I understand that, but if that’s the case how can it be that just from not cutting the birds – a little mistake like that – that Abraham completely failed, and that Moses was not allowed to enter the promised land because he struck the rock twice! There’s so much failure and suffering!" I tried to reassure her that although those centrally important people had such strict missions and there were always failures, God has continued to develop the providence step by step. Later at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Berta explained the history of the place so passionately. She was obviously feeling very frustrated about the many fights and competitions that have gone on between the early and present Christian factions in that place. Inside one of the sections which belongs to the Greek Orthodox Church I sat beside her and expressed some of my thoughts about religion in which a lot of icons are used. Because of my protestant background on both father’s and mother’s side I feel rather cold in a place with lots of statues and gold and silver icons, or ornate decoration – it doesn’t move my religious sensibilities. In fact I feel almost as though some ancestors are saying to me "Don’t go there and venerate those things; you be good and do good because of your love for God." Berta spoke out, "For a long time I absolutely hated religion, and saw it as the cause of all the troubles!"

When we all parted for our hotel at the end of the day we invited Berta to our rally and she said she was definitely planning to come. The next day I realised that I should invite her to the sisterhood Bridge of Peace Ceremony on the evening of the 26th. So I called her and she said that she would try to rearrange her work schedule. Then, 3 days later I called her to confirm if she had been able to get time off work. She said yes, and that she was trying to bring a friend too. I responded excitedly "Oh that means I can be your sister!", and then thought ‘No, that’s not right.’ So, I asked her "Would you like to have a foreign sister , or a Palestinian sister?" She considered for a moment and answered very seriously "I want a Palestinian sister." After going up to my room I cried as I told Cecilie about our conversation. Berta told me later that she also wept as she put the phone down.

Between our tours and the ceremony there were 2 days of outreach for inviting Israeli and Palestinian people to the events. My partner was Sachiko Inaba from Japan. We met a young man of 26 who is a sociologist and a gardener. He had been in the army (as all young Israelis have to be – men for 3 years and women for 2 ) and had refused to go to the occupied territories. He was very keen to come to the rally. Those 2 days are another story of tasting the 2 different cultures and hearts and situations. During that time Cecilie had met a Professor who works at the Jerusalem Botanical Gardens.

The first step when Berta arrived at the hotel for the Bridge of Peace Reconciliation Ceremony was to find her a Palestinian sister. Then to find a translator! They were helped to communicate with each other and sat with Armani’s mother awaiting the beginning. Berta was concerned that no one would notice that they were Palestinian and Israeli. Of course Debbie Gullery was announcing the nationality of each sister as they stepped onto the ‘Bridge’, and when Berta and Armani greeted each other and then hugged each other time seemed suspended. They happened to be the first Palestinian-Israeli pair, and they just couldn’t stop hugging. Gradually every one started to cheer and clap for joy as they embraced, and the room erupted with encouragement as they walked hand in hand down from the bridge. Later I said to Berta , you see you didn’t need to worry, everyone was so moved and were cheering and clapping! She looked at me bewildered and said’ "Really??" In other words, she had been completely unaware of what was going on around her – totally absorbed in sincere respect and care for her ‘sister’.

As Berta had to go to the bus station to catch the last bus home, I helped her to get a taxi and said goodbye. The time between then and the Rally was about 20 hours. Every time I thought of Berta, I started to cry. When I woke in the morning thoughts of her and tears came to my eyes straight away. When we saw each other in the Park the next day I began to understand why.

She said, "I had the most incredible experience last night! I have to tell you." "OK", I said "Please tell me." "No, no not yet – wait ‘til the end of the program and the children are with my husband." In the mean time I saw Rev Jenkins and passed on my husbands message to him that we want to build a Peace Garden. Straight away he said, "We want to do it in Rafa – email me." I also introduced him to Berta, and they embraced like old friends because he knows her from all the tours that were done last year. We enjoyed the music and the dancing and I met her husband and their little 3 year old twin daughters. They had been delayed coming to the rally and has missed most of the talks largely because of a protest demonstration around the park.

So, later we sat down and she explained what had happened. The taxi driver had been a Palestinian. He asked her what she had been doing at the hotel, and she explained. Then he started expressing many things such as ‘Oh they don’t know what they are talking about!’ He told her about his grandfather who had bought some land, built a house and raised 4 sons. Now they have 3 large families living there and needed to expand the house. They tried many ways to get permission to build, and after being refused at every attempt they decided to build anyway. A few days after completing it 30 soldiers and a tank came and raised it to the ground!

The taxi driver spoke with more and more anger. Berta had wanted to get out of the taxi at the bus station, but she felt she could not stop the man from speaking and she asked him to drive her all the way home – a further 30 minute drive. He spoke continuously, and when they reached the destination and he finished expressing everything to her, he began weeping. She started weeping too, and they cried together for 10 minutes! Then she said quietly to him, "I don’t know what to say; I’m so sorry!" She gave him the fare and more money and then, grasping within for something to do for him, her flower from the ceremony.

Berta kept on explaining that in the morning when she woke up she felt a hole in her heart – she said as she held her hand to her breast and pointed to her heart "Something died in me! Something died inside me! – it’s so painful. I can’t live in this country any more! I have such a strong feeling that I must to something with this movement!" After empathising with her without words for a little while and praying for help to know what God wanted me to say, I started talking about our idea for a Peace Garden, and also conveying some of what Dr Lan Young Moon had told us about her tragic family circumstances as refugees from North Korea – her father had been arrested by police and she never saw him again; her brother has died from lack of medical care in the refugee camp; her favourite cousin had been gang-raped by soldiers and had committed suicide. Dr Moon said that she was so full of resentment until she travelled to North Korea and started serving the people there in 2000 at the beginning of the 1% Love Sharing Project. Then the anger and resentment began to melt away. I said to Berta, "Perhaps soon we will come and build the Peace Garden, and bring our family too." She said, "We have a 5 room flat, so you will come and stay with us won’t you! If I’m doing something like this I think I can stay in this country." Now I really understood why I had been crying at every thought of her all day. Finally Berta said, " Something died in me so that something new can come." Almost everyone had left the park and I was a little anxious that I had missed our bus. So, we said our farewells ( ‘Make sure you keep in touch with me!!! ‘called out Berta several times), and as I was walking with Cecilie towards the buses the young man who is a sociologist and gardener came towards us saying "I was looking all over for you!"

At lunch time that day I had thought to myself, ‘I have only 2 connections for the garden idea to tell Ashley’, - a gardener, a source of information and plants at the Botanic Gardens - but by the end of the day God had sent me accommodation and Rev Jenkins enthusiastic support, and a reborn dear friend who is passionate about working together.

When we sat at dinner that evening, Trish Dickinson from Birmingham – a trainer in "Non-violent and empathic communication" and a avid gardener said, "I’ve got a name for the Peace Garden; it’s called "Windows, not Walls", can I please be able to help you with it when you do it?!"

Back at home as I explained to Ashley what had taken place, he said "I think Berta’s old identity died and she became a reborn universal person."

I too feel revitalised, and determined to keep allowing God’s powerful desire to see all fighting end, to work and move in my life.

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