God is with me

Jhee Eyn Choi
September 2, 2011

When I moved to Japan 2 and a half years ago, I felt like I lost everything. My studies weren't going well because I didn't know any Japanese, and I left all my friends and family behind. I felt like I was the loneliest person in the world. I talked to my parents, and they told me that this was how God felt. I felt so much sorrow for Him at first and prayed so much with tears in my eyes, but I never felt better.

My loneliness continued, my grades never got better, and I got multiple kinds of eating disorders. My life felt so pointless, I stopped praying and just got mad at God. I continuously felt like this, even when I arrived to Chung Pyung. I talked to my group leader and she told me not to give up praying to Him. She told me no matter what, He'll love me as a second gen. I still struggled praying however, until the very last night at the Jeongshim Won. I was such a disgrace to God during my life in Japan, I never prayed, got bad grades, was selfish, took my anger out on my family etc. Even though I was such a horrible daughter, He gave me the opportunity to smile again and be with my beloved brothers and sisters at Chung Pyung.

I didn't feel that it was God giving me all this joy at first, but while I prayed at the Jeongshim Won, tears overflowed my eyes. I felt God really loved me for once. He gave me so much joy during the workshop, even though I just threw Him away. I felt so guilty and prayed with all my heart, thanking Him for always being there for me.

When I go back to Japan, my problems may not change. However, I will try my best to stay with God at all times and never to give up.

Jhee Eyn Choi, 17 years old, 2nd Gen, Nishinomiya Church, Japan