EQ Relationship Builder: Listening

                   An Emotionally Intelligent Note to Parents

                        "Go ahead I'm listening."

        It might at first seem unnecessary to teach children about something as obvious and  seemingly easy to do as listening. We certainly would agree that listening seems very easy: all we  have to do is use our ears. (The reason we have two ears and one mouth is that we are supposed to listen twice as much as we speak.) But listening is also very hard: we must think about what another person is saying, rather than thinking about something else or about what we ourselves would like to say. Recall times when you were listening to someone disagree with you or to someone who was criticizing you It wasn't very easy to listen, was it?        Listening is crucial to EQ; it is a "relationship builder" because listening is  what  allows or helps two people to relate to one another. We explained to the  children  reasons  why  listening is so important:      -Listening is a way to show you care about and respect another person         -Listening to another person is the best way to learn about that person and develop a relationship with him or her        - Listening to others is necessary if you want others to listen to you Often, people will listen better to someone who has been a good listener for them      The children learned about ways of becoming better listeners, for example:

        - If we find ourselves daydreaming, we can postpone or delay the daydream, telling ourselves that what we are listening to is the most important thing now, and we can return to the daydream later on, when we have time.        - When we are having a conversation with  someone,  we  can  give  verbal  cues  that  show  we are listening, for example, "I see," 'I understand," or something similar.

        - When someone is speaking to us, we can maintain eye contact with them and avoid looking away, reading or watching TV, or giving other cues that we are not listening.

     -We can remind ourselves that, if we want others to listen to us, we have to listen to then         Please review the above ideas with your child and then try the following exercises to reinforce the EQ lessons at home:

        1. When your child begins to tell you about something, deliberately stop whatever else you might be doing, look directly at your child, and say, “I’m listening." You will be modeling for your child how to listen carefully.         2. Should your child not be listening to something you are saying, remind the child of theimportance of listening by saying, for example, 'I know it's important to you that I listen to you.  It's important to me that you listen to me."

        Thank you for having your child participate.