EQ Character Builder: The Links between Thinking, Feeling, and Behaving

                           An Emotionally Intelligent Note to Parents

                       "I am not my thoughts. I am not my feelings.

                       It's what I do that proves who I really am."

      The topic of the lesson this week is one that we will be repeating throughout the EQ Program: the relationships between thinking, feeling, and behaving or acting. The main point is that all of us are thinking, feeling, and behaving individuals. We will be teaching the children, first of all, to differentiate among these three functions, and second of all, to understand that each of these three functions affect each of the others.  What we think about can make us have certain feelings. If we think optimistically or positively about a situation, for instance, we will tend to feel better about it than if we think -negatively or pessimistically. If we get a not-very-good grade on a test, but think to ourselves,"I'll study harder, and do better next time, "we will feel better about ourselves and learn from the experience, in contrast with thinking, ''I must not be very smart."  We will be expanding on this idea of the interrelationships among thinking, feeling, and behaving in future weeks. For example, we will be talking to the children about how feelings are not always the best guides for behaving, and that behaving well can make us feel well about ourselves   and others.        Please review the above ideas with your child, and then try the following exercises to   reinforce the EQ lessons at home:        

1. When you can see that your child is experiencing a strong feeling of, anger, _grouchiness, love, etc.), ask him or her "What are you thinking about now?" Point out that our  feelings often have a great deal to do with what we're thinking at the time: