Building A Principled Family Life - A Study in Seven Sessions for Small Groups - Henri Schauffler

Session 4 - Absolute Sexuality


Choose One:

What is your favorite romantic movie? Why?

What’s one thing you do that makes your spouse / significant other romantic?

Recall a romantic moment between your parents that you observed as a child

Report to your fellow group members about how you fulfilled the goal to improve one relationship in your immediate life. Were you successful? Why or why not? How did it feel?


The Lord God commanded [Adam and Eve], “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must not eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it, you shall surely die. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. The eyes of both of them were opened and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made aprons for themselves.
(Genesis 2:15–3:7)

They covered their sexual parts, clearly indicating that they were ashamed of the sexual areas of their bodies because they had sinned through them. From this we know that they committed sin through the sexual parts of their bodies.
(Rev. Sun Myung Moon, Divine Principle, p. 72)

Due to the Fall of Man this entire plan was destroyed. If there is absolute love which God desired, and absolute love which man is seeking, they should become totally one. Without the unity between God's absolute standard, and the absolute standard which man is seeking, there will be no absolute ideal world realized. The Fall can be interpreted as two love pillars. That is why conflict always exists. In your love relationship as husband and wife, do you want two different kinds of love or one absolute love? [You want] one absolute love, with one absolute direction. The direction is one and the purpose is one.
(Rev. Sun Myung Moon, January 1, 1996)

You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
(Matthew 5: 27–29)


The above readings suggest that the Fall of Man described in the Bible and the “forbidden fruit” was the misuse of sexual love. What evidence do you see of this being true:

In the world and history?

In your own experience?

Do you think all lovemaking between men and women is “evil”? When would it be good in God’s eyes?


Since God has both male and female characteristics, when men and women come together in love they are presenting the total image of God. Within that “love container” there is always room for two -- man and woman. When men and women come together in total unity, they become a unit of minus to God, who is the big plus. There is give and take between that plus and minus. Should Adam and Eve just look at each other or shouldn't they look together toward God? Yes, together the two of them look up at God. That is the reason why we teach that before you love your spouse, you must love God.
(Rev. Sun Myung Moon, January 30, 1983)

What is the difference between men and women? Their bodies, including the sexual organs. Then to whom is man’s sexual organ absolutely necessary? Man’s sexual organ exists for the sake of woman. The human sexual organs are shaped as concave and convex. Why are they shaped that way? Both of them could be pointed or both could be flat. Why are they shaped differently? Each is for the sake of the other. Woman absolutely wants what is man’s. And man absolutely wants what is woman’s. Until now, we did not know the fact that, absolutely, woman’s sexual organ is man’s and man’s sexual organ is woman’s.

By owning each other’s sexual organs man and woman come to know true love. Only through the experience of two becoming one can we know the highest level of love. No one can absolutely deny these facts. Everyone should recognize this. At the place where husband and wife become completely one, the ideal couple will be created. In that very place, absolute love exists. That place of love, which is absolutely unchanging, is the dwelling place of God. I call this “absolute sex.” Absolute sex is centered on God, and free sex is centered on the Devil.
(Rev. Sun Myung Moon, June 16, 1997)


The readings suggest that “absolute sex” between a man and woman in holy marriage is not only good but the ultimate “dwelling place of God” in human life. Do you think this is true and, if so, why?

The readings also suggest that we must maintain absolute fidelity in marriage and absolute purity before marriage.

If you are married, how have you seen this is true?

Describe a time when you had to struggle with temptation. How did you overcome?

If you are not married, do you see the need for purity before you get married?

Describe a time when you struggled with the temptation for “free sex” but knew that your conscience was telling you “not to eat.”


Think of an area of sexuality in your life where you need to improve. Perhaps you need to work on purity. Perhaps you need to come closer to your spouse in true love and “absolute sex.” Write a goal for the next two weeks to improve your life relative to the idea of absolute sex. No one need know of this except you and God. 

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