True Family Values
Joong Hyun Pak and Andrew Wilson
Chapter 3 - Love In the Family [Part 3]
Three Generations of Kingship in the Royal Family
Finally, kingship describes a tradition of true love inherited from generation to generation. In the secular world, the royal office descends from father to the eldest son. The traditions of royalty are passed on as the prince receives his education in the future duties of his office. The kingship of true love likewise includes traditions of altruism, selflessness, forgiveness, sacrifice and public service, passed down from generation to generation. Having achieved kingship by maturing through the Four Great Realms of Heart, true parents then guide the next generation to follow true love's way through the Four Great Realms of Heart. When this tradition has continued through three generations in the family-grandparents, parents and children-kingship has been securely established in that family. It can then be called a royal family of true love. For this reason, the Family Pledge calls us to perfect the Three Great Kingships, meaning kingship in three consecutive generations of the family.
For an example of such a godly family tradition in the history of God's providence, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob were three generations who established the foundations of faith and substance and became the root of the people of Israel. Their family tradition included faith in God, moral virtue, respect for parents, and forgiveness for their brother. Each generation had to have such faith in God as to migrate to a strange land. Each generation cherished the blessing which God gave their parents and overcame trials in order to realize it. Joseph carried on this proud tradition when he went to Egypt. He overcame the temptation of Potiphar's wife, forgave his eleven brothers who sold him into slavery, and honored his father Jacob.
Three generations are necessary to establish a solid tradition that can overcome the wrong habits which we have inherited from the human Fall. The Fall occurred through three generations: God representing the grandparents' position, Adam and Eve, and their children Cain and Abel. The proper relationships between these three generations were broken, and all suffered as a result. God lost the respect of His children, and the authority of His love was spurned. Adam and Eve corrupted their love and betrayed their Father in heaven. Cain and Abel carried on in the false and self-centered tradition of love set by Adam and Eve to the point of murder. To restore this false tradition, three generations of kingship should be set up in each family in order for it to qualify as a royal family of true love. Rev. Moon says, "The royal family means what Adam and Eve were supposed to become. "9
The Kingship of Grandparents
Grandparents are kings and queens representing the past, the spirit world and God. Having pioneered the way of love and having attained true parenthood, they own a treasure-store of wisdom and experience. They have set the tradition of love, and this serves as the basis of their authority for subsequent generations. We should be grateful for the tradition which our grandparents established for us. As representatives of the spirit world, all our ancestors are honored through them.
Grandparents have particular value for what they can teach others, especially their grandchildren. Even in our inner cities, where the plague of drugs has destroyed a generation of families, children can find protection and guidance from their grandparents to compensate for their parents' failure. Statistics show that the presence of a loving grandfather and grandmother can often save the children of single mothers from a life of crime. Grandparents even adopt their grandchildren when the parents' family falls apart. They provide their grandchildren with the values and stability which the parents lacked. All children need their grandparents to receive the love and wisdom to which they are entitled. When grandchildren gather around their grandparents, they feel warm acceptance, joy and love.
For their part, the grandparents find great joy in loving their grandchildren. Their authority as kings and queens entitles them to appreciation and support by all the members of the family. Even though their bodies may be weak and frail, there are many roles in the home for them to contribute to the welfare of the family. Whether baby-sitting, cooking or tending the garden, many opportunities exist for grandparents to continue experiencing the joy of giving. By no means should we ever send them to languish in an old age home.
How do our grandparents represent God? Even physically, the white hair of the aged symbolizes God. In the family of the first ancestors, Adam and Eve, God was the grandfather. God longed to love His grandchildren, Cain and Abel; but His love was blocked due to the Fall. In restoration, the broken family of three generations God, Adam and Eve, and Cain and Abel-are restored by the three generations of grandparents, parents and children. God longs to recover the love He missed in Adam's family through the experience of grandparents. That means, first of all, the experience of the first True Parents, who are now the grandparents of the True Family.
Just as old people want to recover their childhood by viewing photos of when they were children, God would like to recover His childhood when He was supposed to be a grandfather. Those days of Adam's family pierced God's heart with pain and heartache. Now, God profoundly identifies with grandparents as they love their grandchildren. As grandparents recall childhood memories through their grandchildren, God can recover those lost years and experience the joy He never had. As their grandchildren proliferate, God's joy as the divine Grandparent increases as well.
The Kingship of Parents
Parents are kings and queens representing the present. They lead the family with love and set the tone for its spiritual life. They are responsible for the family's material welfare, providing both for their children and their aged parents.
We have already discussed at length the meaning of kingship and of the value and authority of the subject partner's love. This well describes the kingship of parents. By virtue of their warm love and clear teaching of norms, cultivated through the Four Great Realms of Heart, they guide their family and raise their children. By their sacrifice for the welfare of their community, nation and world, they command the respect from everyone around them. At the same time, the respect they receive in the larger community enhances their authority and honor at home.
Clearly, it takes hard work and great investment for a parent to be worthy of the title of king and queen. First, he must cut off any fallen habits and attitudes. He must deepen his spirituality to meet God, who wants to dwell within him. By realizing his true, original self, he can become a true leader of others. Living in oneness with the divine mind, his love becomes patient, kind and uplifting. Where formerly he might have been waylaid in quarrels and spats with his wife and children who would push his buttons, now he becomes forbearing; hence, the former friction melts away. It is like a group of people covered with mud and accusing each other of being dirty. One person takes it on himself to shower and make himself clean. The others see him and suddenly realize how dirty they are. They stop accusing each other and look for the shower. A parent shows this quality of kingship when he says, "the healing of my family begins with me" and then reflects upon himself to find God. Once God dwells in him and he becomes a beacon of divine light, for the first time his love will become joyful, powerful, and effective in lifting up others.
Next, the parent deserving of kingly respect sacrifices himself in service to the community, nation and world. Representing his family, he is magnanimous in devoting his time and treasure to benefit others. He takes up the cross to save and uplift his community and the people of his clan, becoming what Unificationists call a tribal messiah. Even though he may have to sacrifice time with his wife and children, the respect he receives from the community will elevate his family as well. Relatives and neighbors respect the man or woman who devotes himself to their welfare, who offers spiritual guidance, a moral example, and help to those in need. They will confer upon him and his family the title of royalty.
Children as Princes and Princesses
Children represent the future. One day they will become parents and take on the central responsibility for their families. One day they will perfect the Four Great Realms of Heart and attain the kingship of love. In a sense, they are princes and princesses being trained to assume kingship in the future.
In the world's royal families, young princes and princesses understand their special status from an early age. In America, the same can be said for scions of political families like the Kennedys, the Rockefellers or the Bushes. They are taught the special manners and rules of royalty: how to dress, how to speak and how to carry themselves. Through sports, military service and public work, they are raised to have a courageous and noble character fitting for a future leader. Having a consciousness of their privilege and vocation, princes and princesses look at life differently from ordinary children. They have different expectations of what should happen in their lives.
Rev. and Mrs. Moon's children receive this sort of education. Should we not likewise raise our children to have a special view of themselves and their future? Because of their faith, they may sense that they are different from the other children in their school. But it is not enough to be different; we should give our children a positive and challenging sense of what it means to be a true child. We should train them to have a higher standard of behavior and better character. We should let them understand that they should prepare themselves for a challenging life, for many of them will be called as the nation's future leaders.
How do parents train their children to have the qualities of nobility, courage, honor and compassion? How do parents teach them faith and knowledge of God? How do parents instill in them a sense of public responsibility? By far the most important lesson is by the parents' own example. Children are great imitators; they learn from example. Regardless of what parents say, it is by their deeds that their children take the lesson. This follows from what has been said about the children's realm of heart, where love grows only as induced by the parents' love. Next in importance is the parents' conscious training of the children and the expectations they instill in them by their words. As the parents are, so the children will be: we can already see this principle at work in the second generation of Unificationists who have reached college age. Children whose parents have dedicated their lives to God's will and who take pride in their attendance are more likely to attend the Blessing and live a public life. There is much truth in the African proverb, "Children are the clothes of a man."10 The children reflect the parents' heart and lifestyle for all to see.
Even children exercise a sort of kingship. Children often take the subject position in the family. What small baby does not coax the love from her mother with a smile, a laugh, or a twinkling eye? Rev. Moon once remarked that when a father bends over to kiss his baby, it is like bowing to a king. As the children grow, they have needs which cry out for their parents' attention. Children need a proper education in norms and values. This is their right, and any parent would be remiss in not attending to this need. As the children demonstrate filial piety in loving their parents and siblings, their parents respond with praise and encouragement. This fosters in the child a measure of self-respect. The child's opinions also need to be taken seriously. Who knows, perhaps God speaks through him? After all, each child bears a small cosmos within himself. The child should be given a measure of freedom in order to experience the consequences of his actions. These are only a few of the ways in which children's love carries with it the authority and value of kingship.
Jesus blessed the children, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:14) We indeed place our trust in our children, for they will have the opportunity to build the Kingdom of God on the foundations we have laid. We hope and expect that our children will surpass us. For this reason, at Pledge Service on holy days the second generation stands in front of the first generation.
Nevertheless, our children have their own free will and portion of responsibility, and nothing is certain. Therefore, as parents, we tremble before the responsibility of raising children. We pour out our love to bring our children to the point where they can claim their birthright as citizens of the Kingdom of God.
The Realm of the Royal Family
It was mentioned above that a royal family of true love is established when a firm tradition has been laid through the Three Great Kingships. This means that three successive generations mature through the Four Great Realms of Heart to attain the kingship of true love. Each generation completes its Four Position Foundation. Each embodies a love imbued with authority that elicits honor and respect. Each passes down the tradition of true love to the next generation. A family is completed in three generations. Furthermore, as was mentioned above, three generations are needed to restore the Fall, when three generations were lost. Let us now examine these points in greater detail.
With the Fall, the three generations of God, Adam and Eve, and Cain and Abel separated from God and established a satanic family tradition rather than God's royal family tradition. Their descendants, all humankind, have been part of Satan's lineage. None of the royal families on earth have been God's royal family. God's royal family began with Jesus Christ, of whom it is said, "at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Phil. 2:10-11) Jesus after his resurrection established God's reign in heaven, while asking us to pray that the Kingdom of God come on earth. (Matt. 6:10) God's royal family on earth began with the True Parents' family, which we call the True Family. It was established when the True Parents' grandchildren were born, and will be absolutely firm when this third generation reaches maturity and establishes its Four Position Foundations.
The True Parents are the king and queen of God's royal family. Their immediate family, the True Family, may be called the Wang jok kwan, literally, the "realm of the king's clan." Had Adam and Eve not fallen, they would have become the head of God's royal family and everyone on earth would be their direct descendants. All humanity would be a member of a single royal clan. However, as it is, the True Parents arrived on the earth after it was already covered by hundreds of millions of fallen families. The True Family arose in a unique clan, surnamed Moon. The only way to join this special clan would be to marry into it. It cannot possibly encompass everyone on earth who might be worthy of the honor. Somehow, the Realm of the Royal Family must be greater than any clan, even the True Parents' king's clan, and wide enough to welcome everyone.
The Messiah reigns as the "King of kings and Lord of lords." (Rev. 19:16) We may compare him to an emperor who rules over a great domain encompassing countless kings and princes of small states. The Realm of the Royal Family in the Family Pledge is the hwang jok kwan, the Korean word hwang meaning emperor. It should literally be translated "realm of the imperial clan." This realm is much wider than any individual clan ruled by a king (wang). It includes not only the True Family, but also all blessed families. We must thus distinguish between two levels of royal family: the wang jok kwan or realm of the king's clan and the hwang jok kwan or realm of the imperial clan. Just as an emperor rules over many kings, the realm of the imperial clan can encompass countless king's clans. All blessed couples, having been engrafted to the True Parents, are members of the imperial (hwang) clan. Furthermore, each family can establish its own king's (wang) clan-distinct from the True Parents' king's (wang) clan-by fulfilling the Three Great Kingships and tribal messiahship. As more and more families receive the Blessing, and as they expand the scope of their leadership through dedicated service to their local communities, the Realm of the Royal Family will grow and grow until it encompasses the entire earth.
We enter the Realm of the Royal Family by deeply engrafting our families into the True Family. Christ is the head of the Church, and by participating in the body of Christ we grow up to be like the head, inheriting the spirit and life of Christ in ourselves. (Eph. 4:12-16) We conditionally enter the Realm of the Royal Family upon receiving the Blessing, prior to fulfilling the Four Great Realms of Heart or the Three Great Kingships. Such a dispensation is necessary because we need to inherit the heavenly tradition of true love. Until then, Satan had been our false father and ruler. Fallen habits, fallen attitudes, and fallen ways of life remain deeply ingrained in us. Having entered this realm, we should forget everything we ever knew about life and start again as young children, learning everything afresh, as Jesus said, "whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child cannot enter it." (Luke 18:17) Nevertheless, our deeply-ingrained habits and attitudes cannot so easily be removed. The fullness of true family life as laid out in the Family Pledge is almost impossible to achieve in a single generation. We have to continually strive to cleave to the True Parents and the way of the Principle.
In the Realm of the Royal Family, the True Parents' children are our elder brothers and we blessed families are their younger brothers. (It is not appropriate to speak of relationships in this realm as Cain and Abel, for it is a restored realm, and we should be one in heart.) Why should we serve and support the True Children and care deeply about their welfare? Being so close to the True Parents, they stand at the core of a divine providence whose ramifications touch all humankind. They have digested unspeakable pain and suffering and continue to bear the heavy cross of succession. Furthermore, we want to learn and inherit the royal tradition which they carry in their bones.
Since, evidently, we enter the Realm of the Royal Family first, prior to fulfilling the Four Great Realms of Heart and the Three Great Kingships, why is it written last? The order of the phrases in the Family Pledge is significant. The third pledge entails perfecting the Four Great Realms of Heart, the Three Great Kingships, and the Realm of the Royal Family, in that order. Briefly speaking, merely entering the Realm of the Royal Family does not mean that we have done our part to perfect it. Our family perfects the Realm of the Royal Family by becoming a royal family (king's family) itself. When we become, as it were, kings and queens loved and respected in our locales, we can elevate the True Parents as the King of kings and Queen of queens leading the cosmos. When everything is in order, from tribal messiahs as local kings to the True Parents as King of kings, the Realm of the Royal Family is perfected.
For this world to be changed at its core, leaders must arise who know true love and the laws of God. Who might they be? No one is better qualified than we ourselves, who know God and true family values. Every one of us should emerge as a leader in his family, displaying the brilliant light of true love for all to see. At least some should rise up to become their communities' leading citizens. One may be elected mayor; another may open a soup kitchen to help the homeless. Nothing is impossible; whatever efforts we make in true love will eventually bear fruit. A few blessed families may even rise to become presidents and first ladies of their nations.
As long as there are people remaining outside the Realm of the Royal Family, they are still under Satan's bondage. This means the pain is not entirely healed in the heart of God-who looks for even one lost lamb even though the ninety-nine other sheep are safe. (Luke 14:37) When countless families fulfill their responsibility to live by true love, the entire population of the earth and all its lands will belong to the Realm of the Royal Family. When every last person is included, it will mean the end of Satan's royal family. This will bring complete liberation to God's heart. It will also mean the end of Satan, who will no longer have any base upon which to influence humanity.
The Perfection of the Family
The second and third pledges together are about perfecting our families as true families. The second pledge defines the vertical axis of love as embodied in the four-fold ethic of service to the larger whole: filial piety towards parents, patriotism for the nation, saintly love to heal the divisions of humanity, and the absolute love of a child of God for the universe. The third pledge describes the horizontal flourishing of love through the family's life-cycle, from child to sibling to husband and wife to parents and grandparents. Through acting to realize true love both vertically and horizontally, the family is perfected. This is illustrated in Figure 5.
What is the meaning of the verb to perfect (wansong), used in both these pledges? We should put aside erroneous notions of perfection. If it meant a person who is without flaw or mistake, then it would be impossible to attain. Many Christians believe that perfection is limited to God and Jesus, while humans by nature are imperfect. This creates a huge separation between Jesus and ourselves, when in fact God intends that we shall all be like him in all respects. (1 John 3:2-3) How is God's perfection different from ourselves, when we are created in His image? Are we to think, God is infinite while humans are finite? The human mind is infinite and can embrace the entire cosmos. Are we to think, God is eternal while humans are mortal? We are created to enjoy eternal life. Does God have all knowledge while humans have limited sight? Even God cannot know beforehand the choices that people make of their own free will, for that remains the human portion of responsibility. In fact, God endowed each person with a portion of His essence-the conscience. This conscience is not merely an insistent voice to which we may or may not listen; it should become the very core of our being. Then each of us is a temple of God, and our mind is God.
Furthermore, just as an individual cannot be happy and fulfilled if he is all alone, can God truly be said to be perfect if He dwells alone, apart from His creation? In fact, God suffers, crying tears of pain and anguish over His fallen children who wander lost in sin and delusion. They are so ignorant and filled with egoism that even though He longs to reach out to them and help them, they will not listen. God expressed His aching heart through Jeremiah, saying, "My grief is beyond healing, my heart is sick within me" (Jer. 8:18), and through Ezekiel, saying, "Why will you die, O house of Israel?
Figure 5: Vertical and Horizontal Love
For I have no pleasure in the death of any one, says the Lord God; so turn, and live." (Ezek. 18:31-32) Is this the perfect, omnipotent God of whom philosophers and theologians speak? If God were so perfect, He should be able to save everyone and right the wrongs of the world with a snap of His fingers. No, in that sense, God is not perfect, either.
Some people believe that Jesus' teaching, "You must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matt. 5:48) is a counsel of perfection meant for only a select few-priests, nuns, and those spiritual athletes who strive for sainthood-while the vast majority of people live as forgiven sinners. On the contrary, Jesus gave this teaching for everyone. As we discussed above in connection with the way of the saint, similar precepts to love your enemy, and return good for evil are found in all the world's religions. They state a universal spiritual law for everyone to live by. Such teachings are a prerequisite for realizing an essential aspect of perfection: to have smooth give and take of love in all relationships.
Perfection in the Divine Principle has two aspects. First, it is the complete expression of an existing potential after it has matured through the growing period. God has given each human being the seed of his true self. When he cultivates himself through the growing period and it reaches its full stature, that is perfection. Our true selves are temples of God. We should manifest God's love and light. Since God created every human being with the seed of perfection, we must certainly be capable of realizing it. God has already fulfilled His 95% portion of responsibility. He only requests that we fulfill our 5% portion exercising our own efforts, by persevering through the stages of the growing period and completing the unfinished work of restoration.
Second, perfection requires the proper operation of love-the harmonious and smooth give and take among the dual characteristics. God's creation perfectly resembles Him when it manifests loving harmony. In human beings, there should be proper order and harmony among each of the four central relationships: mind and body, husband and wife, parents and children, God and the family. Perfection is not essentially an individual matter, although mind-body unity starts there. Rather, the individual finds his completion when he participates in perfecting the whole, the family above all. A husband achieves perfection through his wife; a wife through her husband; parents through their children; even God realizes perfection through participating in a true family.
With perfection properly understood, we can know that even a handicapped person can reach perfection. All he must do is realize his original essence and participate in a loving family.
Figure 6 summarizes the points in the second and third pledges by illustrating how each true family manifests God's love, life and lineage. Love, life and lineage occur together as a trinity. At the same time, there is a spiritual motion from love to life to lineage. Love is the source of new life. Life adds to the growth of lineage. Out of a pure lineage, love can arise. The elements of the second and third pledges describe the dynamic circulation of love, life and lineage in the following manner:
Figure 6: The Cycle Of Love, Life and Lineage
Love begins from the seed of love given by God and grows through the Four Great Realms of Heart: children's love, fraternal love, conjugal love and parental love. The way of love is to invest and invest for the sake of the beloved. It finds ultimate fulfillment in creating and nurturing new life. This is the meaning of the right-hand side of the triangle.
Life develops through generations, the Three Great Kingships, to establish a lineage. The expansion of God's life culminates in the Realm of the Royal Family. Although we entered the Realm of the Royal Family as we were engrafted into God's lineage when we first received the Blessing, our place in God's lineage becomes firmly established only when our family achieves its own status as a royal family through establishing our own Three Great Kingships and restoring our clan and hometown. At this point our family becomes the ancestor of its clan and the starting-point for its lineage. This is the meaning of the bottom side of the triangle.
The left-hand side of the triangle moves from lineage to love. Fulfilling the duties of our lineage serves as the foundation for the growth of vertical love. As God's children, born of God's direct lineage, we have the condition to receive the fullness of God's love. True love, however, must be practiced according to the order of creation, wherein every existence serves the larger whole. The starting point for true love is filial piety, prompted by gratitude to our parents. Filial piety then extends to love of country, love of humanity, and love of God and His creation. These spheres are, in fact, expansions of the lineage which gave us birth, and we serve them out of gratitude for their ample provision. As we grow in our vertical love, we determine to take full responsibility for the largest sphere, the entire cosmos. Thus, we become divine sons and daughters and attain the perfection of God's lineage. The vertical axis of our love reaches God's heart and, in turn, becomes the foundation for the horizontal growth of love in the Four Great Realms of Heart. This cyclic motion within the trinity of love, life and lineage continues throughout eternity.
1. See World Scripture, p. 166.
2. Allan Bloom, The Closing of the American Mind (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1987), p. 134.
3. Olson and Wallace, A Sampler of AANCHOR.; cited in True Family Values; Creating a Faithful Christian Marriage. Lecture Manual (New York: HSA-UWC, 1996).
4. See Douglas Kirby, Public Health Reports, May June, 1994; Walter Williams, "The Blessed Elites and their Cursed Ideas," The Washington Times National Edition, March 11-17, 1996.
5. M. Scott Peck, "World Waiting to Be Born," audiotape, part 2, side 2.
6. Sang Hun Lee, Essentials of Unification Thought (Tokyo: Unification Thought Institute, 1992), p. 96.
7. See Emanuel Tod, The Explanation of Ideology, where he argues that the affinity of a nation for a particular political system or ideology is rooted in its basic family structure.
8. See World Scripture, p. 222.
9. Sun Myung Moon, "The New Family Pledge," May 8, 1994.
10. World Scripture, p. 169.
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