Cheon Seong Gyeong – Sun Myung Moon

Book Seven - Etiquette And Ceremonies
Chapter Four - Tradition and Daily Etiquette of Blessed Families
Section 5. Proper Behavior between Spouses

5.1. Spouses are companions for life

After you marry, you cannot do whatever you like. Once you marry and have a family you must follow that family's destined path, even at the cost of your life. (120-225, 1982.10.17)

Beginning with the very first moment of love, you are one, not two anymore. Once you are a couple, you cannot behave individually but should mutually take responsibility for everything. (253-211, 1994.1.23)

If you destroy yourself that's one thing, but a family should not be destroyed. The wife is the most needed person in the world for her husband, and the husband is the most needed person in the world for his wife. You should be each other's walking stick and comrade, advising each other. (27-87.1969.11.26)

A wife should not think that she fulfills her responsibility just by preparing a meal when her husband comes home from work. The most important thing is for her to sit at the dinner table and share intimate words of love. If she comforts her husband after a hard day's work with that love and the voice she affectionately whispered at their first meeting, his fatigue will be washed away and their love will deepen. (Tongil Segye – Feb. 1982)

Ideally, a woman's voice should sound softer than the average voice of a man. Her voice should be like the whisper of love. (Sabo. 39.5)

Although I am nearly seventy years old, when I want to go out to the ocean, Mother prepares all my equipment with her whole heart. She even prepares the supplies needed in case I stay out overnight and prays for me to accomplish my purpose in going out to sea. What a wonderful and beautiful wife she is! (Tongil Segye – Nov. 1986)

When a husband goes to bed right after work, snoring loudly without eating dinner and without saying anything, his snoring should be deafened by his wife's sobs convulsing deep from within her bosom. My wish is to see that kind of family. If I cannot find such a family, my suffering will have been in vain. The six thousand years of God's sacrifice will come to naught. You should be aware of this. (35-192, 1970.10 13)

When the husband travels to his assigned area, the wife should not feel like saying, "See you later. I am so tired. I have got to sleep now." Until her husband comes back from his rounds, her heart should make the same effort he is making. Children should also wait with a conscientious heart until their parents return. (30-82, 1970 3.17)

The wife should make her husband successful. She should be his great supporter. (21-79, 1968.10.20)

If a husband tells his wife not to intervene in his business, should she not intervene at all? A wife can stand as an equal in position to her husband. If her husband is absent, the wife should be able to take his place. (31-210, 1970.5.31)

You thought it would be great once you got a husband. However, there are had times as well. You are not supposed to expect only good things. Can you bathe in the sun twenty-four hours a day? You need the night, is it not a rule that the high is followed by the low? (30-113, 1970.3.21)

A wife should not be sad because her household is poor or because she cannot wear nice clothes. It is not as though your husband does not know your heart. Deep love and priceless treasures more valuable than diamonds are hidden in his heart of feeling sorry for you. (141-26, 1986.2.16)

I want to advise wives to awaken their husbands from sleeping by chiding them, "How can you sleep so much?" (12-89, 1962.11.11)

A small dose of comfort will immediately dispel a woman's anger. (203-155, 1990.6.24)

Couples should not engage in petty fights in which they accuse each other of not loving or recognizing one another. Even when you quarrel, you should do so for God's will. (21-87, 1968.11.3)

On your wife's birthday, you should invite ladies from your neighborhood and dance and sing in front of them, showing a loving heart toward your wife. (127-95, 1983.5.5)

You can tell, just from listening to your wife or others in your household, whether they had a good day or not. So, when the wife walks in, you ask her, "Why are you upset?" Then, she is at a loss for words because the husband already knows everything without even having seen her. You should be able to gauge things in this way. When you pray for someone out of concern, you will come to know things like this. (42-174, 1971.3.4)

Even if a loving husband were to curse in his home, it can become a stimulant for love. One word from an unloving husband can cause destruction where that word cuts into the flesh. If there is love, even being chastised would be acceptable, but without love, everything would be detestable. (83-177, 1976.2.8)

5.2. Spouses are comrades in faith

When you work in an agricultural community, you are not to work alone. A husband and wife together are to report the day's schedule to God before going out to work, and they are to report to God after work and then eat dinner.

You should know how strict is the God-centered standard of life that regulates all these things. There are rules of family life for women and for men, respectively. The path you should take is one of systematizing the great heavenly rules and then following them. You must follow this path. Should you not do so, then your life will lose its meaning. (31-276, 1970.6.4)

In walking, men are to step forward with their right foot first and women are to step forward with their left foot first. Whenever they sit, it is a rule for men to sit on the East side and women on the West side. There is always a certain way to do everything, even for setting the table or for hanging up clothes. (26-241, 1969.11.4)

Men should look at women from top to bottom for the women's sake, and women should be looking bottom to top for the men's sake. Women should not look upstream at flowing water but should look downstream. A woman looking upstream is the type who will be unfaithful. Usually, women should prepare the place for men to sit. When using a dresser, men are to use the right and women the left. If men use the upper side, women should use the lower side. For example, the woman should not place her skirt or underwear on the man's upper clothes. The woman's clothes should not be placed on top of the man's clothes. (Sabo 39-5)

The wife of a leader should not nag her husband when he is about to leave for work in the morning. The feelings in his heart that arise due to his wife's nagging will be like waves; they will be very disturbing. His disturbed heart can affect the whole world. If women are going to nag, then they should nag at night, and then all the problems will be solved overnight. Men go out to battle in the morning. The wife of this kind of husband should wake up early and serve him well. (27-88, 1969.11.26)

You should offer a prayer of gratitude even if you are strongly chastised by your husband, saying, "How can I expect my husband never to reprimand me? Thank you." (27-88, 1969.11.26)

Within a couple, if one side were to waver, the other should supplement with heart and devotion. (21-417, 1965.11.3)

Women should always be beautiful, even if it requires using makeup and perfume. A wife should not be emotionally indebted to her husband, and she should always concern herself with her husband's body and clothes. When a husband looks tired after returning home, she should prepare the water to wash his face and things to brush his teeth, and be able to wash his feet and comb his hair. A woman's smile is the flower of the family. In order to establish a harmonious family, the woman should be a first-class actress of both comedy and tragedy. She should completely captivate her husband all the time, whether he is joyful or sad. (27-88, 1969.11.26)

A woman should change her clothes at least once every three days. She should also wash her hair that often. She should always smile. A smile is a flower of the mind. Always keep your flowers in bloom and give off a sweet fragrance. A woman should test her partner's response to her hairstyle and makeup. If you cannot bring joy to your partner with your facial or external appearance, you should do so through your interests even if you have to mobilize all the arts, such as music. You may research women's physiology by looking at magazines or explain to him about literature after reading several books. Make your husband live like a child who is enfolded in your skirt. (27-88, 1969.11.26)

Once a husband and wife meet, they should be together, holding each other's hands, whether they are going the way of life or death. Since you are to go together, you should do so with style. (27-89, 1969.11.26)

After marriage, you cannot act whatever way you want. In which direction should you go after marriage? You are to take charge of God's love. Human beings are born as men and women because of love. Love can bear fruit when a husband and wife become one. You are embodiments of God's love and divided into His dual characteristics. Accordingly, for these two divided embodiments to form a harmonious union, they should look for God's love. (144-132, 1986.4.12)

When Blessed Families embrace and love their babies, they should know clearly the purpose for which their children were born. They were born because of God. They were born in relationship to God. Even though you may share secrets with your precious husband or your precious wife, this relationship is not of your own design. You met along a public path, following a heavenly principle. God intervened to create your meeting. Because of such a connection, if you should feel misery, then God feels the same misery. (67-291, 1973.7.22)

In laying the family foundation, if the wife can tune her mind to her husband's mind, she will be blessed. If the husband can do likewise, he will also be blessed, if the children unite, they will also be blessed. We are now in the age of family salvation. (12-261, 1963.5.22)

Women should go the way of women in response to heavenly law. You should be able to die if your husband asks you to die with him. Even though you die, you will live together in the spirit world. There will be a way for liberation as long as you regard your husband's order as absolute and are obedient to his command. Looking from the view of morality, there will always be a path to liberation for those who remain absolutely obedient to the three fundamental principles and five moral disciplines in human relations, even though they may dwell within the evil, fallen realm. (26-265, 1969.11.9) 

Table of Contents

Tparents Home

Moon Family Page

Unification Library