Dear Parents of Second Generation,

In recent years, I have seen a huge growth in the numbers of matchings and blessings of second generation children. Ever since True Father handed the reigns of decision over to the parents, they have taken on the role of match-maker. However, under parent’s guidance, I have witnessed and heard about numerous failed matchings, not to mention blessings. I would like to attribute this to one major problem: Your children are TOO YOUNG! I understand that you wish to give your child the love and support he/she needs and desires; however, please remember that you are not matching your child for his/her sake, you are doing it for God! I believe too many parents become embroiled in the wishes of their children, and more potently, their own wishes for their children. As these wishes grow stronger, the parents are matching their children at younger and younger ages. As we have seen, this is very dangerous.

First of all, your children are not at an age in which they are able to handle the responsibility of a relationship. I personally believe that getting matched before the age of 20 is a mistake. Not only is your child still in a hormonal stage, but the process of leaving home to go to college, STF, or beyond, is difficult enough without factoring in an intimate relationship with another person. College and STF are places where your child can develop and mature spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally. However, when that child is already in a relationship, the child will not be able to mature on an individual level. As children mature, they will be able to work more on fixing their relationships with you, their parents, thereby preventing the possibility of projecting unresolved pain from old family relationships into their new family.

Furthermore, I know that many parents are concerned about their children being influenced by their peers, and thus they want their child to be matched quickly so as to prevent the potential for falling. This is a TERRIBLE reason for the matching. In doing so, do you not understand that you are averting the very Growth Stage God created for Adam and Eve? God specifically created this stage to test Adam and Eve to see if they could become masters of creation. If you do not allow your child to prove himself/herself during this strenuous stage, then your child will be an immature adult within his/her marriage.

In addition, this increasing rate of matchings and blessings is creating a spiraling effect for all parents. Once one blessed child is matched, others soon follow suit for fear that the "best" matches will soon be taken; this in turn leads to younger and younger matches! Please realize that younger is not better, for your child, or for his/her match. Parents need to realize that young children do not have the emotional capacity to fully comprehend the purpose of the Blessing. Children press their parents to get matched because they see their friends doing so, and thus the parents listen to their hormonal, immature children.

This is my plea, I pray that the parents of Second Generation will start a revolution within our church to demand that the matching be fixed at a certain age (I personally believe 20 or older is a good place to begin). Furthermore, I propose that a couple be matched for at least one year before getting blessed. This will allow the couple to truly connect to each other on a much greater level than one of purely sex. Couples will also have time to understand why they are going into the blessing with their match.

Please make this revolution happen! Do it for your children and for the match you envision for your child’s future. The current rate of broken matches and blessings are all the proof we need to realize that something has to be done. I am writing this as a second generation myself. I am turning 20 in November, and I realize that I am no where near ready to be matched, much less blessed. I need to mature, and I pray that my future match is out there, forming his individuality and building up an endurance to temptation that will carry into our own blessing. You can create a wonderful match for your child; make it happen at the right place and time.

In True Parent’s Name,
J. Cohen

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