The Words of the Werner Family
Rev. and Mrs. Paul Werner
Excerpted from a chapter of Rev. Werner's book, Heaven Down to Earth
Once the inside of a person shines, the outside will also become luminous. If you have a plain face but your eyes are as radiant as the sunshine, people see nothing else. The eyes tend to dominate your whole face when there is an inner luster. A beautiful girl whose eyes are not bright does not have a glow about her. Many women may use a great deal of makeup with the intention of looking attractive, but their eyes have no spiritual light.
Physical imperfections can be balanced by inner beauty; it is a quality important to cultivate. When you become more spiritual and closer to God, all aspects of your life will become more harmonious. Your dress and appearance will naturally reflect these changes.
Once all your senses work together and communicate with each other, you will become better able to distinguish true beauty and art. Any negativity you may have harbored will disappear. When the spirit becomes energetic, your confidence will soar and you will begin to live the life God intended for you.
Imagine a God that welcomes you home or a world that is filled with individuals who have perfected their love. Imagine yourself as one of them. You will become whatever you imagine, for your mind obeys the thoughts you fantasize. You are what you believe about yourself, and the manifestation of that faith eventually becomes the "you" others see. Expand your horizons by becoming more aware of the world and the spirit flourishing within you. If you feed your spirit complaints, bitterness, and resentment it may become ugly, tangled and contorted. However, if you constantly feast on positive thoughts about God, True Parents, yourself, and the people in your world, your spirit will grow strong and beautiful.
Your self-image is a creation you alone fashion. God lends a hand, but His involvement reaches certain limits.
Although God has the blueprint for your life, you are the master designer of your self-esteem. You have the advantage of being able to hold up the pattern of True Parents against yourself and judge the fit. As you do, why not make the alterations and adjustments necessary to nurture your self- image? Confidence in yourself is important. Become a champion of love; dwell on positive thoughts, dreams, and images; have a vivid and rich imagination. Imagine yourself as the child of God you are.
If a person experiences an inner change, an external change will usually ensue. An individual with an enthusiastic spirit is generally quite energetic and active.
Our model for self-confidence: Father
A person who is internally pure usually keeps his physical body clean. The way we dress actually reflects many of our feelings and attitudes about life and especially about ourselves. Often people dress exclusively in a solitary rather dull color. When I see someone dressed mostly in subdued colors, I wonder if this reflects an inner lackluster. If I see the same person wearing more bright and cheerful colors which harmonize well, my heart is immediately uplifted.
Wear several colors that blend together nicely. In order to improve your self-confidence, dress in attire that says you are grateful to be alive and proud to be a son or daughter of God. When you win a victory over negativity or depression, make sure your clothes also reflect this improvement. Clothing does not have to cost much money. It may not be necessary to buy many new clothes; be creative and use your imagination to better coordinate the clothes you already own. If harmony starts from within you, your sense for beauty will become more keen. People will watch and want to mirror the way you dress and act, as well as your ideology and the words you speak.
It takes little effort and money to transform your present wardrobe. Sometimes a few accessories can enhance the development of your unique style. This is one good method to help improve your self-confidence. Once you do you will feel ten feet tall.
If you study and come to know yourself, you will have additional power to exercise self-control and master your environment. By studying your own words, gestures, and vibrations, you will be able to adjust certain characteristics, upgrade your image and gain self- confidence.
We are inundated with ideas demonstrating how to become an individual with style and taste. Television and radio saturate the public with commercials which readily assure us that if we use a certain product we will become a desirable person and an individual in the latest vogue.
The advertisers have injected us with confidence in their client's product. The famous stars that endorse certain products may have tried and come to trust them. Consequently, they become a good sales person. In order to sell a product, a person must first believe in it.
Do you believe in yourself? Do you have a strong enough conviction to sell your personality to others? In forming relationships and friendships, it is essential to believe in your own self- worth. In witnessing, fundraising, or any part of life, what you sell is yourself. A healthy dose of self-esteem is an absolute necessity if you want people to "buy" you. Believe in your product -- believe in yourself.
Our model for self-confidence: Mother
The only limitations upon us are the ones we set for ourselves. We place the restrictions on the amount of work we do, what we achieve, and how much God can work through us. If we team up with God, we can accomplish anything. Developing confidence is partially a mental process. In this sense, our mind can be our ally or foe.
When we develop confidence, our spiritual and physical health will improve. God has cancelled our past and begs us not to dwell on it. We should relate to the present and develop faith in the future. We must come to know that we are ultimately able to master anything if our desire and motivation is great enough.
Self-confidence involves confronting life. If we shy away, we start to ride an internal merry-go-round from which we cannot easily disembark. For example, if you go to the back door and see a lot of snow, don't turn around and go through the front door. Confront life as it is, cope with it.
When you nurture a positive and optimistic attitude, you will feel your own value. Life is not always easy or beautiful. As we walk the road of faith, it is inevitable that we will have to trudge through struggles as we try to reach the summits. But there is one thing to remember regardless of whether you stand on a peak or in a valley -- you are a child of God. That alone can give you incredible self-confidence. Know with assurance that with God, anything and everything is possible. You can have the same kind of faith in Father.
It is relatively easy to develop that confidence in God and True Parents because we constantly witness the evidence of their numerous victories. However, our individual self-esteem may not be as solid. We reflect on the things we should accomplish and then tend to stamp the word "impossible" across the plans to complete them. Yet given our position, this attitude is incongruous; we are their true sons and daughters and can do anything in the name of our God and True Parents. Why not erase the word impossible from your vocabulary?
You will be a winner in life if you focus on the whole world and in your heart at least try to comprehend the sufferings and joys of all humanity. With such an attitude, you will triumph over selfishness and greed. Perhaps the people in the secular world view our lives as rather inconsequential and may see our contribution to society as something less than significant. We must be convinced that what we are doing is not merely for ourselves, our marriages, or our movement, but that it will ultimately benefit all people throughout the world.
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to compare ourselves with others -- both those inside and outside the church -- using their behavior or experiences as the standard. Each of us must walk a different course of restoration. If we constantly gauge our progress in terms of other people, we may veer from the track we are meant to walk.
Share your experiences with people. Learn from each other and help one another, without forgetting that we are all different. God has endowed each of us with very unique talents and facets of His nature. Therefore, the way we connect to God, True Parents, and spirit world may differ. The principal tool every person must use to connect with others is heart. But no two hearts are the same; no two people are totally alike.
The common denominators we use to come to God are the truth of the Principle and the Messiah. One person may have relatively easy success because of his background or ancestry; he may seem to ease into heaven on the blessings of the past. Another individual may have ancestors, such as pirates or slave traders, who engaged in evil activities. That person is required to purify a number of generations; therefore, he may labor hard and long with few results or seemingly little progress. Yet once the amount of indemnity needed to atone the sins of those generations has been paid, he may find that he propels forward with ease and suddenly makes great results. Others may need to make painstaking efforts to have the same kind of experience that another person who just joined the church may undergo. All people are bound to spiritual laws which are often invisible. Comparing yourself to another person only creates instability. As "Desiderata" reminds us, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." True or healthy self-confidence is never borne by rating yourself against another.
As you develop self-esteem, you will naturally feel more secure. You have to accept yourself. Each of us has talents and abilities as well as handicaps. See them as such and work to improve them. If you develop self-confidence on the basis of the power of God, your heart and spirit will be transformed. Previously, your insecurity was based upon ignorance of God and His laws.
After meeting the Principle, that unawareness was replaced by the truth. You gain inner stability from this knowledge. Enumerate the reasons you have to be self- confident and fear will vanish step by step as God's presence increases within you.
Courage is the consciousness you receive if you are absolutely united with God. Awareness becomes an attitude. Recognize that the greatest power in the universe is God; know and trust that He is with you. Early Christians had remarkable courage because of their faith in Jesus. Their fervent desire was to be with him, even at the cost of their lives. To be eaten by lions is no easy challenge, yet a multitude of Christians boldly stood up and faced certain death. They were brave because they had God.
It is the same for us today; if we connect with God, we will have the guts to stand up to Satan. It is important not to look at things too abstractly. Living a life of faith in purity and humility brings us closer to perfection. This world is still imperfect, full of danger and injustice.
The present situation of the world affords none of us the chance to live life according to the Principle. We are constantly confronted and bombarded by Satan and his colleagues. We often don't know on which side we stand.
If we were not challenged by the satanic world and could live without being exposed to evil, we could easily serve God and live with Him. We wouldn't have to force ourselves to pray; prayer would be natural and creative. We would already live a beautiful life and find ourselves in an environment that is spiritually elevated. Problems and trouble arise through our confrontations with the world. We have to prove ourselves many times a day. That is how our faith in God and True Parents is measured. If it was not for these challenges, we would already live in heaven. We would not defy one another or do harm to others in any way. We would be much more consistent and tolerant; our integrity would be displayed in everything we do.
Unificationists do not necessarily live easy lives, but nevertheless we persevere year after year. Our ability to do so indicates our closeness to God; He continues to inject us with strength and power to endure. We must continue to understand His heart and perceive His suffering, not allowing ourselves to stagnate but continue to serve as His channels. That is why we should never underestimate ourselves.