The Words of David and Taco Hose
The Unification Church and I
March 8, 2001
Thanks Ron, for sending me the discussion going on with regard to Tacco and my appearance on Philip's (Philip Burley) program. Please feel free to post this reply...I hope it will clear up a few questions in various minds and hearts...Albeit we don't expect everyone to agree with our direction.
I'll begin with a couple of the externals that were brought up in your own communication:
When you raised the question of whether or not I and others who held (hold) leadership positions in the Unification Church really had the opportunity to meet God in ways that "lowly membahs" did... Well, I never did spend a night under a bridge or put years into selling flowers on the MFT; I was always in the education and center/state leadership realm of the Church. It is a mistake however, for anyone to assume that these kinds of roles were 'cushy' or privileged. There was many a day when I prayed I could just jump in a van and disappear over the hill with a bucket of flowers. The pressure was always, always severe; and the problems encountered, while different than an MFT'er might encounter, could fill a thick book in my case. I always down deep inside, felt like your "lowly membah" characterization given the tasks we were asked to perform each month (Those leadership conferences at the end of each month were also grueling, to say the least. And though it was a privilege for us to sit with Father at East Garden, there were times when I imagine I would have prayed for that bridge to hide under had I known of it)....So the long and short of it is that everyone has had their unique suffering course trying to reach out toward God through it all.
I am deeply grateful that God pulled me into the Unification Church when He did - It probably saved my physical as well as my spiritual life. Tacco and I feel blessed indeed to have been Blessed together by True Parents, and to have spent the years we did in the mainstream of the Church. But then the question you raised - Why did we not mention Father as we spoke to Philip Burley about our opening with God? Quite simply, because in all of my years in the Unification Church, not to speak of much of my youth in the traditional Protestant church, I never experienced such an opening to God. Is this a shock to you? Let me tell you that I don't hold either Jesus or Sun Myung Moon responsible. It was all about my own - I believe I can speak for Tacco here too - deepest opening of myself to God - something that no Messiah could bring about for me; something that only I could do for myself.
At one point in our journey over the past nine years God said something to me that struck me like a thunderbolt - He said something like, "How dare you worship Me through the heart of another (even if you accept him as your messiah - my addition.) when you have not truly opened up to Me within your own heart!" Tacco's accident, and our experience in prayer after her return from the hospital proved to be catalytic in bringing this event about...We cried out night after night, asking God where we could go from there, without any holding back (this isn't so much speaking of our virtue, but rather, our desperate state of affairs) and experienced a totally different kind of prayer than we'd ever known. We also came to meet a different God than I had ever conceived of - unconditional, intimate, very honest and direct, relentless in making us see ourselves and work on ourselves, deeply tearful, and, at times, deeply humorous - a real Papa/Mama. Our understanding and lives have undergone a radical change from then until now.
I know that so many have asked us, "But what about True Parents?" I honor and respect them. However, Tacco and I are concerned - for we still have many close brothers and sisters in the Church - about the understanding of just what the Unification Church is. Is it a religion or is it an organization that will transcend itself in the coming years? I believe that the answer to this question depends on each person involved (it can't be answered with a pronouncement from the top, as happened in the mid-nineties - not if people aren't ready to let the outer structure go.)
And if the question is asked, "But what will replace the Church?" Then that very question itself begs our continued steps with God (IMHO).
Finally, to echo what Regis said, Tacco and I have NO WAY and no right to be judges of anyone's spiritual life and passage, in or out of the church. Only God can be our clear and loving teacher/judge in everything - only God loves with that much love. We remain in deep and abiding respect for the life and sacrifice of each and every person who has followed True Parents. Only God truly knows what each life and heart embodies.
God bless you mightily!
In His Love,
David and Tacco Hose
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