The Words of David and Taco Hose


Opening Up To God - Part II

July 22, 1993

"H" (husband) and "W," (wife) I want to greet you tonight and to congratulate you because you didn't let a long time go by before re­contacting. The last time, I think you could realize that you let each night and each week and even months go by, and it became a habit pattern not to talk or share. And when you looked back on this you realized that that's not logical, not reasonable when you found such a richness in our relationship. And for Me it was not reasonable either. So, though you missed two or three nights now in a row from our last sharing, you quickly wanted to come back. I'm not going to accuse you or speak critically of you for missing Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but congratulate you for quickly coming back on Thursday. And please remember that speaking to Me means your effort, your giving out, and so always this kind of effort takes consistency. It's not like something that's just absolutely selfish enjoyment like a bowl of ice cream - if that ice cream wouldn't harm you and it didn't make you heavier, you'd probably have one every night if it was so sweet. But the higher sweetness of our relationship is something that, because of many complex historical reasons, even though it goes very well, you stop. And you have to examine why. Of course "H" is the one who is serving as the expression here, the person who is expressing, but for both of you, why would you stop sharing with Me even when you see that you go downhill or lose power or lose your harmony when you don't share? Why would you let that occur? There must be more reasons than you're aware of, and sometimes it's good to study that. There are many people who, at one time in their life, had a very good prayer life, but who now don't have it. Even many Christians who would admit honestly that at one time or one period in their life they had rich prayer life, but then lost it, let it go, and now have an extremely lukewarm kind of existence. So it's important for you to study why this would happen. It has very much to do with your attitude toward yourself and the things in yourself that want to govern you, that are not of Me. Remember, you're always dealing with the two natures. It's important to grow and confirm your original nature. Many Unification Church members are thinking, "Just overcome my fallen nature" but this is a great mistake. It is the feeding and care and development and exercise of your original nature that is the most important thing. Many, because they are so taken up by just overcoming fallen nature, become obsessed with being critical of themselves: "Oh this is wrong, that was wrong, I shouldn't have done this or that." So, on one hand they seem to be struggling very powerfully to become better people, but without knowing the key of exercising the original nature in prayer, in communication with Me, in relationships with one another and with all people in giving, in service, in acts of goodness, then they can never overcome their fallen nature. In fact, they are more and more caught up in it. It's like a friend you might have, if all you ever do is critique their bad points, but you don't exercise love or care or really appreciate their good points, they may end up hating you. And then you say, "Yes, but didn't I always try to help you? Didn't I criticize your bad nature?" Well, this person cannot grow with just that alone. So it's very important for all people who seek out the ideal of sinlessness or, really, building the original nature, to feed it and take care of it and to grow it. That's why this prayer is central to doing this kind of thing.

And that's why last Sunday night, in speaking of prayer, I wanted to help you realize the best way to relate to Me. The traditional prayer of history, just like so many traditional things, really has to be changed. And a whole new kind of revolution is taking place. It's not just a new technique on the part of people, but, again, as I expressed to you last year, on the foundation of True Parents' victory and on the foundation of the providence of restoration, in other words many thousands of years of restoration, then I can be more free to come to you very directly. But if you still have a traditional view of prayer and a traditional view of our relationship, then even though there is more light outside of your door, if you don't open the door you won't see. And that's why the key is to open your door more broadly, more widely, so that this new power and this greater light can come right into your house. It's a formidable challenge for anyone because people are creatures of habit who really like to stay in the way they do things. So this is one problem for many people right now in the Unification movement who hold on to very traditional expectations of Me and of themselves, so that when they sit down to pray it's entirely an act of their own will and not of Mine. This is almost one hundred percent. I don't mean one hundred percent of the members, but that pattern or concept is there. It's blocking out almost totally any new experience that might come in communication with Me. Between Sunday and now, I have been speaking quite a bit about this, so "W" is there anything you want to bring up or ask?

["W" says that although she has heard it several times now and thinks she understands, still applying it is another thing. She doesn't want to say she fully understands what it means to her.]

I want to share a little bit more because "H" is very much attuned to this kind of concept or thinking, and I will share a couple of points according to his experience. Again, you can see how I can work with each person according to the sensitivity and experience he or she has. That is the source of creative thought. Many years ago, Werner Von Braun, the German scientist who came from Germany at the end of the Second World War and directed the American space program, said that scientists are quite proud so they don't want to admit it, but many of the great scientific insights or discoveries can even occur while the scientist is taking a bath or a shower. And obviously, while a man is taking a bath he's not, perhaps, thinking about scientific problems and mathematics. He's just washing his body and maybe humming a tune. But it's at that moment when the logical and intellectual mind is not operating so intensely that the deep kind of ideas can come out of the spirit. Now, don't you know that I am the source of all creative ideas? Everything is known by Me in this physical universe. I made it. I am part of everything and, therefore, I know everything. But it's My great joy to see My children grow and to learn those things that are preciously hidden in this universe. So I gave those secrets at that certain time to the man who may have had a foundation of deep desire, deep love of his subject, whether it be science or art or any particular area. I see that son or that daughter and I think, "Oh, I really want to share this with him (or her); he's dedicated his life and he's worked hard and, therefore, I want to honor that." Those ideas come from his or her original mind area.

It's not easy to express everything, because "H's" knowledge is limited, but it's from the original mind, the original heart area that these ideas come. The mind, remember, is sort of a logical tool that we use for working out problems and solving things. And the mind does have a certain purpose in creative discoveries, but the actual source or the very root of those discoveries many times is coming from a much deeper, non­intellectual place. Remember, those ideas are ultimately coming from Me, and I want to share them with My children as the children grow and mature.

It's the same thing with your prayer. When a person is praying from the mind or even from just personal emotion, this is not truly a deep prayer. It's when a person sometimes moves all the concepts out of the way, sometimes when you feel sleepy - I don't mean sleepy as when "H" falls asleep during prayer - I mean when you feel very relaxed, perhaps alert but relaxed, and your mind isn't busy with everyday thinking, you can move your mind out of the way and then allow something to come up, like a bubble from very deep comes up to you, and that happens to be maybe a realization of My existence if we talk about prayer. "W" have you ever experienced as you go into prayer the very strong feeling of My reality? Closeness? Very real, no concept? Then in that moment . . . in that moment is the time to pray. And in that moment you can open the door and then have a very rich experience. But many people are starting their prayer from the concept level, from the intellectual level.

Public prayer many times becomes rather cold as a person prays aloud in public, because you feel they're praying what they feel is a dignified prayer, but that maybe they didn't open their heart to God, that they just want to sound nice to the people. Well, it's tragic if the prayer on a personal level is the same way, that, again, there is no real connection made with Me. So that's why I say it's important to allow yourself to come into the mood of prayer. Now if you really want to communicate with Me, find the time and allow yourself the opportunity. And then in that moment as you close your eyes and as you open yourself to Me, after one or two moments or sometimes even many moments, up comes that sort of bubble of realization that "Ah, God is here" or "Oh, God is real," then, in that moment, begin to speak: "Heavenly Father, I'm glad you're here, thank you for being here today." Just open yourself up that way. In that way you can really get beyond the old patterns of prayer.

That's why most Unification Church members don't have good prayer lives, because those old patterns of prayer are not exciting. You're not going to sit down to lunch with a friend day after day and say the same things, right? Then you wouldn't want to have lunch with that person anymore. It's like "Oh no, we're going to say the same thing all over again!" This is also a sad and lonely thing for Father because many times the leaders sit down with him and they say what they think he wants to hear. And for him it's very painful to see such limited thought, because when Father prays to Me as My son, he really opens up that door and then everything is coming. So understand that it's the heart, the heart of the relationship that's the most important thing and not the words. That's the fallen world; it depends so much on words. Look at your television set every night - words, words, words, words. But how many people really consider the realm of the heart of true being and the meaning behind those words, and the value or lack of value that those words convey? It's like little children. When you hear little children speaking, sometimes you can become impatient because those children just jabber, and you realize that their heart is very young still and it's just pure energy coming out. One second happy, the next second sad, one second crying, the next second laughing; they have not yet developed a mature being or heart. How tragic if grown­up people are like that. In this world that is a problem, and it should not be a problem that you take into your prayer room in your communication with Me.

Once you become open to this kind of communication and you practice it, you will be able to look at people and know whether they have a communication with Me or not. You'll feel an openness there, not people going around in circles. Nothing closed, it's open, open, open. Openness is synonymous with growth. And we say suffering is a source of growth. Why is suffering a source of growth? Well, people don't have to suffer if they're truly open in heart and mind in their communication with Me and in their life in general. But suffering is what pushes people to the wall where they have to open up to something, otherwise they can't survive. They have to open their mind to something new. And yet, as I say, suffering is not really necessary if a person is open. Maybe once you're very open you'll suffer for others. Until this world is brought around to where it should be there will be suffering, but many people are just into their own suffering until one day they can open up and realize that that's not the purpose of their life.

It would be good for you to compile these two nights. You don't have to make it word for word, but to write something. "W" you know "H" is going through much anxiety about this great book you will write. But it might be good for you, "W," over the coming weeks to take these two talks, the one that you listened to three or four times and then perhaps the essence of what I'm saying tonight, and bring them together in your own reflection. It doesn't have to be a professional book or pamphlet, but just those points that really move you, and put it together. And you could even share and say, "Through my prayer and through my prayer with my husband, these are some things that we have found very deeply through inspiration." Yes, I think that would be good. And just like you saw your daughter was deeply inspired, well, this would truly also help many people.

"W speaks: "While you were speaking about opening your heart, how we can open up ourselves, I was going through some things, like watching the television screen of my own life and reflecting on something certain leaders talk about, so much of this self­denial. Many oriental leaders use this word, self­denial. And because the Fall occurred through the realm of emotion, then let's say when we talk about the restoration of truth, restoration of character, restoration of heart, and we know that the Fall of Man occurred first on the heartistic or emotional level, we say that to restore it we have to go the way of reversal. Therefore, you cannot trust your heart because it may be based on fallen thinking or false thinking, and your character hasn't developed, so you should watch and guard your feelings. You should never trust. So I realize that in the beginning of my church life it was really emphasized that I should never trust my feelings. So even though I love to read literature, you know, many stories and novels, after I heard the Principle I lost all freedom to express myself or let go of myself. And now I realize that after some twenty years I still have that hang­up. Still I'm not confident that letting go of myself is truly opening up my original mind or letting loose my fallen nature. You see what I mean? And that what comes out of it is like fallen feelings. I don't think I think exactly that; I think I trust the intuition that comes, whether it's on the right foundation or not, in a direction that I can sense; but I think that kind of thing is quite strong when self­denial is emphasized more than necessary. Even to very, very old members. Even a few years ago I was told by one major leader that I wasn't going through self­denial and that's why I am spoiled or something. It's because I spoke straight from my heart about something and so I was denied. I think this is a very confusing thing. Therefore, if many brothers and sisters feel as I do, then in prayer there is a fear of letting go of ourselves. Not because we will lose something as an outcome, but the fear is that this letting go will end up in egotistical feelings or fallen feelings and spilling out and killing us, that this is what will happen if we liberate ourselves. So would you guide me on that? Even though I can't express it so well, I know it is a reality that many brothers and sisters suffer or can't discern which is which."

To a great extent the whole church reflects this problem. It starts on the internal level of each person, and it starts also with certain teachings (like this idea of self­denial, for example) and not trusting your own feelings. Of course, there are many things we are asked to deny around ourselves in the spiritual life, such as alcohol, cigarettes, illicit love, many things, and we are denying our old appetites in that way, even though we feel tempted. Right? But all of those old appetites are not the real self that we are looking for. So that is not, in the truest sense, self­denial. If we think of our true self, our original self, truly we need to affirm that self, not deny it. Would you deny yourself the right to prayer? Well, what is it in you that wants to pray to Me, your fallen self? What self is that? It's your original self. And isn't prayer, in a sense, nourishment for that self? So, in that sense, as I said awhile ago, it is self­affirmation and self­nourishment which is very important in our life. To speak of self­denial does become confusing because it is the fallen self that we want to deny. But we have to make clear that we don't have two selves; there is only one self. There is the fallen nature within us, not made by God. It's not truly a nature; it's acquired appetites that come from a fallen blood lineage, a tainted blood lineage. Do you call, for example, a sickness you might have, is that a self? No, it's an infection. So the so­called fallen self or fallen nature is not really a nature. It is a fallen way of looking, of seeing, of thinking an identity. To say "fallen nature" is misleading; it gives the satanic aspect of people too much power; it puts it almost on an equal level with the original self. So truly we have to understand the power of the original self and give that self much respect and build it. You see, if religious people, and speaking specifically, if Unification Church members understood the secret and the beauty of self­affirmation - it's self­nourishment by prayer, by acts of goodness, by real exercise - then automatically another kind of appetite is coming to you, one which is not attracted to the outer reality or to things that ultimately harm; one which knows the true source of love and is not so tempted by the wrong sources. That's the important thing. So self­denial is an incorrect term; it is a confusing term because it isn't the self we want to deny; it is this appetite and so­called fallen nature, but it is really simply like a taint in our blood or an infection that we want to overcome.

So, if you know the oriental health method - ironically the people who speak self­denial all the time come from the Orient - what is the oriental medical method? The oriental medical method is: Serve the whole person. The herbal methodology is based on this. Establish the equilibrium in the body and let the body itself deal with the infection by building and nourishing the original, natural constitution. And this should be the true religious way of life. Do you see the difference? Somebody who's just taken up with destroying the bad element, that's like Western medicine, which is just attacking - you heard that parallel, didn't you? - it's just attacking the bad thing, but it's not building up or nourishing the holistic self. Western medicine, ultimately, has to be enlightened in this way. because it does not understand the original status of the human body or the human energy.

I'm sorry to say that within the Unification methodology of growth and learning within the educational system there is so much of a Western medicine approach of overcome, overcome, deny, deny, deny, and attack the infection. But there are very few teachers who really focus deeply and truly on the nourishment of the original status. That is one thing that made Mr. "X" very precious because he always taught the nourishment of that original status. And if you recognize, Mr. "X" did not talk too much about fallen nature, fallen nature. Do you remember? Yes, and automatically, if you look at the innocence that was there in the environment in the church center, generally speaking, with a few exceptions, there was an innocence there and a feeling of nourishment going on. Somebody was feeding the bread of life.

"W" says, "Right, because the leader wasn't taken up by an ego trip or a need to control, and then using the Principle right and left to suppress members so that they would not threaten him. There was no such thing!"

I don't think I need say so much more unless you have further questions? It's very, very important! And it's a tragedy! You see what happened in the Middle Ages with attacking evil; it ends up with the Inquisition, people killing people. But, again, if those people had been involved freely in the affirmation of that true and original goodness, this kind of thing wouldn't have happened.

"W" says she feels "very enlightened today because I have had a lot of questions in this area, like why have I seen darkness here, why have I seen no way out kind of feeling in this teaching or education or leadership? Now I see why. Because we were not liberating, not affirming this original nature"

When we speak of loving one's self, loving yourself, the important thing is that you're not loving your ego self or loving the negative aspect of yourself, but you're loving this original status. By loving it we mean caring and nourishing it. Because it is of God. That's what your prayer is about. Again, yes, repentance is part of prayer, but someone who thinks that prayer is mainly about just being sorry for things he or she has done, I don't want to hear that all the time. Do you want your kids coming to you every night saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry? Well, I'm the same. I truly want to share deeply with My children and see their growth, just as you want to see the beauty of your children come forth through that communication. And it is frustrating when you can't yet have that relationship with them, I know. I know your feeling. My feeling is that My children have such a strange concept about Me and don't know how to relate with Me, because of their view of themselves. So, I tell you, the self­denial signs are a source of confusion, a source of great confusion for many. This is a very traditional oriental concept, having to do with loyalty to earthly powers. In other words, the king needs you to be this way; it doesn't matter what you want, you must be this way. This has nothing to do with Divine relationship.

"W" says, "Just in general, when you hear the very complex lecture about the Eight Stages of Restoration and the Divine Principle lecture, internal guidance starting with the Enemy of God, and then heartistically that's way below Servant of Servant and all these things, and you feel as if members are already feeling defeated. 'How can I ever climb up or have any ability to see where I am, how much I've restored? It seems like it will take my whole lifetime, and so no wonder I can't have any communication with God. And because I am still a servant, no wonder God is far and I don't have freedom with God.' And then I think they just accept that they're having a hard time because they're still in that stage. But your guidance really liberates me from all that. I feel that no matter where our stage is, we can still open up our heart and reach out to God. And God is ready to respond to that one­hundred percent openness. That's really liberating for me, because I feel as it comes it helps me see myself in Your light; this is my hang­up or this is where I was stuck, and now I can let go of that and it's wonderfully liberating."

Well, members begin to wonder where they are in those eight stages and it becomes an intellectual exercise. Also, many times it is combined with feelings of inferiority or defeat. Usually their judgment is that they're way down there in the first or second stage. The point is, this is not like a cake recipe where you do this and you move on and then you do that and then you move on; it's a heartistic thing. There is great danger in putting heartistic reality into intellectual concepts because then people become caught by the concepts and are stuck, almost tied up in ropes of concepts. But, again, in the realm of heart, one can go from perhaps the first to, let's say, way up the ladder of those stages within a couple of days. It's not just a matter of how many people you loved; it's how quickly you learned and how open you are to growth. Of course, in your life you have to establish some consistency. Maybe your insight or your understanding on a spiritual level is very far, but in your physical reality you still have a bad temper or this or that difficulty, and you have to bring that up. But never ever take for granted the importance of your realization with Me. I want to share as much with you as you are open to. It's just a matter of finding the opportunities day by day to practice what you know. So, that's up to you. Don't let it become an intellectual exercise or, again, become like a cake recipe. It's very hard, if you listen to certain teachers, to think of it as more than just a complicated recipe for how to be perfected. Getting caught up like that becomes a very selfish thing sometimes. People get so caught up with "Where am I now?" This can lead to personal problems. The important thing is not where you are, but the important thing is learning how to love and serve others, then you don't have to worry about where you are. Do you think Mother Theresa is worrying where she is all the time? Which stage she's at? No. If she started expressing that to her friends, they'd think something was wrong.

"W" says, "I understand, because if I am in the status of giving or being really busy with the people and accomplishing something together, then I don't think about all these things, I don't worry about these things. It's when I'm not active in that way, then I get so many worries, especially when the Japanese office sends out all these memos, sometimes I get a headache because I don't know how to comprehend all these things. It overwhelms and discourages me. I feel how can I ever begin to comprehend all that. And I am an older member, and I simply wonder how other members will interpret it and get inspiration out of it."

It's a very Japanese type of reality and they're very proud, but that's not the ultimate reality. It's not wrong, and if you know how to eat those things up, then they can help; but they are not the final reality. So, again, what I shared before, the key point of our talk tonight is this self­nourishment affirmation. And as I made this parallel between Eastern and Western medicine, this is the same thing as a positive and growing type of religious attitude or spiritual attitude and one which is almost negating. It's so strange when you see people who struggle about their fallen nature but who can turn around and express and unconsciously defend their fallen nature to a brother or sister so strongly and then go back to struggling the minute the person runs out of the room. That's the contradiction. Do you understand? What does all this struggle mean if it doesn't end up somehow in a being who is expressing something good and light and true? It's a great ignorance here and great darkness. Great darkness. It's the beginning of what can turn into inquisition, and so it's a dangerous thing. That's why truth itself in a book doesn't mean so much. Father did a great thing by bringing Divine Principle, but how it is understood, how it is applied, what's emphasized, what's not emphasized is crucial to either building or destroying the Kingdom. The book itself, even if everyone in the world has that book in their hand, can't do so much. It's like the Bible. The Bible has been here for many, many centuries, but the world is very corrupt right now. The Bible has been misused so much. It's what is in people's hearts, that's the true Bible, that's the true Divine Principle. What's in a book is like a road map, you might say. You cannot expect that that book will save everything. There are people who just believe the Bible as if it were Me, but that's a great mistake. Actually, the Bible in the wrong hands ends up being a weapon of torture. The same thing with Divine Principle. In the wrong hands it can negate life because it's being used by immature, dark minds. That's why you have to enlighten your mind, and then each point of Divine Principle becomes something truly illuminating and more than simply what's in a book. In many ways the Japanese love cake recipes, they love the one, two, three, four, five, and to have all the documents. But, again, the point is what is the status of the openness of the heart? How much is that original self being nourished truly? That's the critical thing between the successful religious life and just somebody who's very proud because they followed all the rules. It's a great mistake.

We could talk about this for a long time. It's a very crucial reality between these two approaches, and you better think about this deeply because it can be the difference between success and lack of success in the movement. I feel very sorry in many ways about this self­denial matter because it's a source of great confusion. Just as the statement "I never prayed from weakness," it's the same thing.

I'm in need of those who can speak on My behalf because I can't go through the streets shouting. I am invisible and I am only audible or can be heard by those who have an ear to hear, as Jesus said. So, sometimes there's a need for prophets - that means inspired tongues.

And "W," again I say that it would be a good thing for you to take these last two tapes - if you want to have them typed, fine - but to try to synthesize what you feel is most important, and then maybe "H" could refine the English. But this is for you, "W." Perhaps your expression could be much deeper than "H's" at this point, because of something opening up in you toward a new realization.

"W" says "I want to really reflect on this. So many things come out, it's like a television screen. When you say Unification Church movement, I can see myself in it, walking in that same kind of path. And I start seeing how precious is that five percent responsibility that you have given to man and how unexercised that five percent realm has been. As you said, it has been limited to just a small realm of obedience. And that's not doing justice to that five percent because it doesn't give man any dignity by the way the majority of us interpret or exercise that five percent. Not even in just a religious term or in a religious organization or Unification Church's practice, no, or even in restoration course, no. In the original world that five percent that was installed within man has enormous meaning. I can just sense it. I don't even know the enormity of it, but I feel like I just have to tap into that because I haven't really opened that yet, I feel I'm still so fixed in that concept."

Your five percent is not ultimately a duty or just seeing - this is hard to put into words - it's not just having a whole new idea of five percent beyond obedience. No. Ultimately your five percent is who you truly are. Your being as a person, whether you are sitting and doing nothing or whether you are fully involved doing great goodness. It's who you truly are. So you can see the difference between that and someone who is very repressed inside, very pushed down, who is thinking they just have to obey their central figure, then you could see why people end up so angry. Because literally their truer self is buried and it wants to break loose, and the conflict between that original desire and the reality in their life creates a tremendous conflict in them. It can end up with hatred and sometimes even murder. It's a most profound form of abuse. You should never be accused of abusing your fellow man in that way. It's far worse than physical abuse. It's the abuse of eternal things.

"W" says, "So even in the name of God, in the name of Divine Principle, in the name of True Parents, we have the potential to do great sin. I can see the danger of that, yes. Oh, my. It's a lot to think about."

There is so much more to share, but night by night I just will keep sharing more. "H" always wonders at the beginning of each evening if we've run out, if maybe there's no more to share, but he's foolish.

"W" admits, "Me too. How limited I am."

When you think of the unlimited quality of the Universe, well, the realm of truth, of understanding, of love, of being is far beyond that Universe. Then if we share one square foot of meaning each night, well, how many nights do we have then if we're going to talk about something beyond the Universe? I can go forever. And also, once you've begun to tap into that realm, then every moment, every day, every action, you're catching meaning, catching understanding, growing. Everything. And, therefore, you wouldn't have a different kind of life for any reason in the world, any other way of life.

"W" says, "I think I begin to understand at this point, though I may fall back again, but why do we let go of prayer even though it's so vital and important? Probably because our understanding is still very intellectual and conceptual. I think we haven't really experienced that realm of self­affirmation and cultivating our original mind in the prayer time, and then we have so many hang­ups like: If I come to God, maybe I'll have to repent again; or I failed today; or I couldn't follow through on what I promised. So many things like this. It's kind of like not the realm of original mind that moves forward with you, but more like going backwards. And because of that we limit ourselves and make a blockage in ourselves. And that discourages us to come before you. So I can see why, personally, I so easily let go of that prayer."

And may I say that this is the reason why in sitting down and meditating on these things that we've covered, and even doing some writing, you'll get many more insights that way and you'll affirm so much more. And that way you can have a strong impression so that you won't easily fall back into old ways. Don't think of this as Me telling you to do this, but I suggest it as a way to really internalize what has been shared between us.

"W" says, "I know every one of us needs it. I know this is not just limited to us. I can see that the majority of us, maybe everybody, can develop it. Not everybody is ready, but some people are really hungry for this."

People, especially people who are looking for spiritual things, will go where they can find Me. If they came to the Unification movement but end up depressed, pushed down, and end up just leaving, this is a great tragedy for Me because I'm the one who started this movement, not Sun Myung Moon. I'm the one who began everything. I asked him to work with Me as a very special and historical person, of course, but I'm the one who laughs and feels great joy when someone comes in and says "I want to stay." I'm also the one who cries very deeply when they leave feeling unfulfilled, rejected, depressed, and completely dark toward Me and, again, toward their own selves, that self that should be affirmed. That's the act of brotherhood or sisterhood, to help brothers and sisters this way. Of course, it doesn't mean never saying anything about how to improve, but that's a detail within the whole larger reality of affirmation and nourishment. Unfortunately, it gets turned around many times where the whole big thing becomes judgment and legalism, and then once in a while somebody gives a compliment. It's backwards.

When you truly love someone, you have almost a crazy desire to see that person become good and true and perfected, something very beautiful. And that's why you can become very free to share everything, even if you need to say "Your hair is dirty" or "You don't smell so good," but it's all within this wonderful framework of truly loving and truly nourishing. But when that's not in the subjective role and it's simply a matter of getting people to follow, to obey, whether it be an idea or a central figure or whatever, you can see the difference between the two. It's, on the one hand, like eating a sirloin steak and, on the other hand, like eating cardboard. That's why people don't want to stay; nobody wants to eat cardboard everyday.

"W" says, "And, you know, at this time of tribal messiahship, everybody knows this invitation is there for them to stand up with God and this is the opportunity to really take the initiative and start really growing without one central figure controlling you. And then they are genuinely frustrated seeing the church or somehow they themselves don't know how to take off on that path. They know the invitation is there, but the question is how can they take off? What nourishment can they get? Then seeing the older church members, the elders, and it seems like they are the Abels, and those still living outside of the church, kind of like a family member type of feeling still. And that's how church members look at it sometimes."

It's all extremely shallow. Again, the dimension of the heart and the dimension that we're talking about tonight, it's like being blind to that. Reality is so far beyond this kind of reality that I cannot express it in words. It's so far beyond, it's even humorous to see the ridiculous things, it's like a Charlie Chaplin movie.

Let's finish tonight. I look forward to your synthesis of this because I Myself would like to see it. And I would like to see that you can share it with those that you really love and are concerned with.

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