Articles From the February 1994 Unification News
Controlling Our Destiny
Contributed by Claire Bowles, Norman, Oklahoma
Articles from Heartwing Magazine
Here is someone consciously choosing a heavenly perspective.
Mirna has an amazing testimony: four months before the Madison Square Garden Blessing she was struck by a car. Her then fiancee, Christian, wanted to be blessed to her even though he knew she would be in a wheelchair for life. She witnesses to what a faithful and good husband he has been though he must help her in almost every aspect of her life. Her mother came from the Philippines to help her too and now lives with them. After 10 years they decided to adopt a child and contacted me for counseling and information. She also said she had been diagnosed with cancer and was beginning chemotherapy treatments.
After a life of utmost challenge from 1982 till her life-threatening battle with cancer was won in May `93, she has had many thoughts and insights, which those of us who are less burdened might not have had. We take for granted so much and allow ourselves to be easily burdened by comparatively small problems.
Her letter can give us all a little insight and maybe a push to do a little more in the realm of the heart. It's easy to forget how short our time on earth is. If Mirna can feel "in control of her destiny and not a victim of it," could not we all?
Dear Claire; I'm sorry I have not written for a while. The chemotherapy has not been a pleasant experience for me, but I tackle it with a positive attitude although the side effects have been so exhausting and my body becomes so weak for a least a week. Then I recover in the next two weeks and get ready for the next treatment. Anyway, since I only have one more to go, I already determined myself to forget about the cancer. I must look forward to what I have for the future. Actually, the cancer has given me a greater outlook in my life, and has put me on a different level spiritually. I see that I have no more time to fool around, but rather must concentrate deeply on restoring myself, meaning to get rid of my anxieties and frustrations, which do not help with restoration whatsoever, nor have anything to do with happiness. I'm fed up with harboring guilty feelings of being so incapable of accomplishing God's Will and not worthy therefore to receive God's blessing. Sometimes I get so frustrated watching someone capable of accomplishing so much, but yet failing to see their potential and just ending up talking but not practicing their ideals. In many cases I ended up chewing out my husband for the things that I wish I could have done.
But I feel so much more real as a person now than if I had no handicap. I would have taken this restoration course so lightly that it would take forever to deal with my personal problems as well as my problems with my husband. In this way I'm grateful for what I have gone through because I had to deal with things right then and there and therefore everything was so intense but was faster to get over with.
That is why I can confidently proclaim May 18, 1993, as my "Day of Victory of Love." I make this proclamation before heaven and earth that I am now ready to live in the Completed Testament Age level. No longer can Satan continue to control me or accuse me for all the things that I have done wrong, but I rather concentrate now on what I can offer to others as a true daughter of God. I would like to be a person who can radiate God's True Love, that when people look into my eyes they can only feel truth and most of all love and concern like True Parents have instilled in us. I know it will not be easy but I might as well start and meet the challenge because if we do not make the effort now, it will be very difficult to even imagine that the Kingdom of Heaven is possible. Isn't this great, that because of our True Parents, we are able to control our destiny rather than be a victim of it?
You know, I have known brothers and sisters who are still in the stage where they are still waiting for something to happen with their lives, as if always waiting for some direction to follow - then they'll make the move. It's so sad for True Parents because already they have given us everything and all we have to do now is to take charge with a happy heart. I feel many out there are still caught up with instant result and therefore lose their self-esteem, and instead of trying to do more they begin to isolate themselves more due to guilt feelings. I feel so sorry our movement does not grow because of this kind of mistake. True Parents have put us blessed couples in the highest position that ever existed in this universe, as Tribal Messiahs, but how many of us really understand the deepest meaning and intensity of that position? It is given to us so we can start breathing the air of the Kingdom of Heaven, to start savoring True Parents' way of love, thoughts, and practically their way of life. When I heard True Mother speak with Father in Alaska after the event in San Francisco, it was so wonderful. I felt Mother and Father are the most in-love couple in the entire universe. Mother's laughter was filled with joy and a loving heart, her spirit was so radiant that you can sense that she is really the encapsulation of the Holy Spirit. I realize how precious it is to be able to see True Parents in person
I just feel that now is the time when we can no longer be so involved with our own struggles, but we really have to invest everything we could for America to lay the foundation to receive the Messiah. There is not much time left, I fear. So much destruction is going on all over the world, and if we are still so caught up with our own little situations, we can't help True Parents save the world. Anyways, we just have to work hard at our own pace but with a grateful heart because we can do it on our volition, not just because we are told to do so. I guess that makes such a difference, don't you think so?
With much love, ITPN, Mirna Eggenberger, Glendale, CA
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