Articles From the February 1994 Unification News
An Avuncular Perspective
Written and contributed by Randolph Remmel, Portland, OR
Articles from Heartwing Magazine
This is excerpted from a letter that Randolph wrote to his 15-year-old niece.
. . . Your body has been changing and everything about your interior life will be changing as well. When you come visit, I can help you understand how and why you can maintain your purity. It is not so hard as many people want you to think it is; what they might tell you is that it is "natural" or "normal" to engage in sexual activity when you are a teenager. Don't you believe it. When people do these things, they damage them-selves. It is wrong to damage oneself - whether or not one understands the nature of the damage inflicted. Don't you do it.
You will hear many people say other things. Remember this - "If a thousand people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
What, as a young person, you ought to understand is that this society into which you have been born is but the blink of an eye, really; that there have been great societies long preceding this; there will be greater societies that follow it. You need to have perspective. If you hold your hand right up to your eyes, you cannot see anything at all except your hand, and you may not be able to see that very well.
Sex is a very powerful item; God made it that way. It is the expression of love. But do not imagine, please - no matter how strong your sex drive gets or how powerful your feelings toward anyone get - that you are capable, at this stage in your life, of responsible love; and remember that responsible love is the only kind of real love; the rest is all selfishness. You are not ready, yet, to take responsibility for someone's life; you are not ready to have a child; you are not ready for physical love. Don't even kiss anybody. One things leads to another, and presently people find themselves in situations with which they are incapable of coping. Don't be among those people. When people cannot cope, they do very destructive things.
The grievous phenomena of war and world hunger all have their roots in the failure of relationship. If you would lead a worthy and successful life, you must be determined to become part of the solution and not part of the problem.
"Popular wisdom," which generally isn't very wise, would have you hold sex so close to your consciousness that you cannot see around it, or sex itself properly either. One advertising trick is to feature beautiful people who look sexually desirable to give the subtle message that when one buys the product, one will be sexually gratified as well as having one's immediate need or desire for toothpaste or a soft drink fulfilled. People who use the very sacred element of sex (and, by association, actual human love) in this way have a perspective that is limited by their desires to sell something.
To achieve a wiser perspective, you must look from a distance, from far enough away that you can perceive your life as one beginning with your mother, then look back to your grandmother, great-grandparents, and then to other generations, and remember that all of those born in America were influenced by what they found here; and those who came from Europe were influenced by what they found there; and you must know that their experience was vastly different from yours; and then step further back - as far as you can imagine - and then read Genesis. Then you shall see that we still are looking and trying to understand the basic nature of God; and as the earth grows more and more populous and the issues of human relationship - including international relationships - grow more and more pressing, we must finally understand; you are part of a generation that can further the understanding today or you may hide from your responsibility for doing that and just pursue your own selfish pleasures, leaving the world as confused, or more so, than it was when you arrived.
Most people become confused because they want love and will sacrifice anything for it; but such love as they may imagine themselves achieving - at the cost of the principles of God and His creation, which include purity of heart, mind, body, and action - is only to be lost and really they will have nothing.
You are an eternal being. The love to which you will be entitled by growing up straight and beautiful is love that you will be able to keep as your soul departs from this earth and leaves your body behind.
It is only your love that you are able to take with you to the other world; there, if you have true love, you are happy; should you have only that love that has looked out for you - at the sacrifice of others - you will have no relationships, because no one will be able to trust you. Hell is the absence of relationship; the word hell as used in the New Testament is accurately translated as "anguish."
The central operational aspect of any society that ever has existed or ever will exist is the society's treatment of love and sex. Its abuses are at the root of the destruction of empires; its proper use is the beginning of the Kingdom of God.
I should tell you some jokes. Laughter keeps the mind and body healthy. So what does an insomniac agnostic dyslexic do all night? Lies awake and wonders whether there is, or is not, a dog. (Ask your mother if you don't understand some of the words!)
Please share your thoughts on teaching teens about love and relationship.
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