Unification News for March 2000
Second Generation Participates in Blessing 2000
by Dietrich Seidel -- Red Hook, NY
Recently matched Korean, Japanese and Western Second Generation couples participated in the Blessing 2000 event at the Olympic Stadium in Seoul, Korea on Feb. 13, 2000. All Second Generation couples stayed at the Olympic Park Hotel to have the opportunity of sharing this most significant time of their lives together. Following a common daily schedule, the Second Generation couples quickly learned the importance of serving and supporting each other as a group.
Their schedule included also a week-long workshop with evening lectures preparing the couples internally for the Blessing. Many of the Western couples could not stay for the whole workshop due to earlier return flights. However, they were given the opportunity of participating in a special marriage-building workshop the day after the Blessing 2000 ceremony. Rev. Farley and Betsy Jones, together with Inchanor and Grace Jorgenson, leaders of Second Generation couples from Europe, organized that unique workshop, which was well received by the newly blessed Western couples.
by Chris Seidel -- Red hook, NY
• The tradition of love is inherited through the Blessing. An important aspect of a marital relationship is that it is centered on God. The purpose of the Blessing is to transcend the self.
• The Blessing is given conditionally. One must make efforts in the early years of marriage to make a foundation. The Blessing is given to create unity on all levels of human interaction. We need to eradicate the existing divorce culture.
• The Blessing attracts the love of parents, True Parents and God. It is a condition for God to be with you for your whole life. We must maintain this condition for God to be with us.
• Myth: If partners are compatible, then it is a good marriage.
Solution: Make an effort to be compatible. When we take a position of serving our spouse, we invite and attract God to be part of the relationship.
• Think about what’s important in the eyes of your spouse (small things may be very important, such as helping to clean up etc.. Attraction is created by an internal quality of caring for the person.
• Love is not a feeling but a decision. Make a commitment to heal your spouse.
• Develop the flexibility of assuming different roles in your relationship with your spouse (mother, sister, father, brother etc.)
• You will get mad at each other if you base your communication on mind reading. Clearly express your needs and feelings.
• Practice "Active Listening" by validating the message of your partner and by showing empathy. Have eye contact and observe your body language when speaking to your spouse. Learn to contain your feelings when practicing "Active Listening" and overcome the trap of merely reacting to the message of your spouse.
• Do not insist on being right but understand that "right" is only what serves the mutual relationship.
• There is a child in your spouse that needs healing. Learn to cope with differences that are rooted in your unique backgrounds.
• Find things that are fun to do together. Horizontal activities are good if they have a vertical center.
• Actively work at your relationship. Build a fire. Do not argue but pay attention to feelings.
by Shizuwa Noda -- Chicago, IL
I first decided that I was going to the Blessing on God’s Day 1999. My resolution for that year was to prepare myself for the Blessing. STF helped me a lot to prepare, and by Nov. ’99 I knew I was gong.
I never dreamed that I would get married to anyone I knew. In a way, it feels like we have a head start because we’re past the awkward stage.
Our moms have known each other for a while already, so the in-law problem is solved. It’s so nice to know that someone else cares about you. No matter what other people think or feel about you, if he cares, nothing else matters anymore. Life has a different perspective now. It’s not about only me anymore, but it’s good...and I’m happy. Thank you, Heavenly Father, True Parents, Mom and Dad.
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