Last year we discovered that it was time for our old Sears lawnmower to be laid to rest. We had to pull the rope to the brink of shoulder dislocation to get it started, so we finally decided to buy a new one. I checked out new mowers at the local hundred acre hardware store, and finally settled on getting a used one out of the newspaper. I talked to a nice guy on the phone, and mailed him a deposit to hold it until I could drive out to his house to buy it. I called him three times after mailing the deposit -- once to confirm that I'd mailed it, a second time to arrange an appointment to come for it, and again before I left my house to make sure he was home.

So when I arrived at his little trailer out in the country I was expecting a smooth sale but ended up with a moral dilemma. He had game show host good looks and hair. He greeted me and then surprised me by popping open the hood on my van and asking me about how the engine was attached because he'd just been given a van which needed a new engine and he wanted to see how it was bolted on. Huh?

I found this odd, but I waited until he finished. The next moment we were in the back yard where his Baywatch wife was slathering herself with sun tan lotion as she sunbathed in a bikini. He showed me the shiny, red mower and began to recite a litany of all its uncommon features. Amidst the game show pitch he mentioned, "Gee, you know, my wife is saying that we paid $300 for this mower and she and I were hoping to get a little more than we previously agreed upon." He then chattered on about the mulch attachment, the 6.5 horsepower engine and whatever else seemed impressive to him. We had agreed on $150. and now he wanted $175.

I was a bit unnerved. I said, "Well, I called you several times before coming out here. Why didn't you ask me about that during one of those calls. You're putting me on the spot. I thought we had a deal. In fact, you agreed to lower the price a bit for me from your ad (which he had!) the first time we talked. Now you're trying to fast talk me and get me to pay more than the agreed upon amount."

I thought to myself, I have been a softy all my life. Here I am again facing an attempt to be rooked by someone who couldn't give a rat's hiney about me.

He was talking a mile a minute about how his wife was irate and how it was worth more than what he was selling it for. She continued slathering and didn't look up. I was a bit mad because I thought, here I am -- if I don't buy it, my time has been royally wasted. If I do buy it I'm being shanghaied. Should I stand up for "what's right"? Then I thought, what is right?

I looked at him. He was living in a trailer on the edge of a farm with broken machinery behind it. His wife looked rather shallow and external. She didn't look like a furnace of love, investing her soul into their marriage. It didn't exactly look like Eden before the fall. I thought, if I can give him $25. extra without fighting with him, who knows what the affect might be in the universe?

Maybe he'll think, "Wow, I took that lady." Maybe he'll think, "I'm so relieved she didn't fight me. I needed the money." Maybe he won't think anything.

Another time we hired a couple to help us move. They were kind of down on their luck at the time. They agreed to work for a certain amount and then after they worked, they wanted more money. I was annoyed at the way they demanded more. Their tone suggested that we were dishonest. But my husband said to me, look -- they have nothing -- let's just give them more than they asked for, and then they'll have nothing to say. Of course they expressed no gratitude (which I was expecting,) for the extra amount and even seemed to have contempt for us.

We were moving from a very tiny, poorly constructed, junky house, to a medium-income, split-level house. During the afternoon of the move, the woman sat in my rocking chair in the new living room for a moment and said, almost to herself, that she wished she had a place like this. Our home is more than ordinary -- including particle board furniture assembled from K-Mart! But when I drove them home that night to the motel room they rented on a weekly basis, and thought about their difficult situation, I thought my husband did the right thing to give them more money.

One of the means to transform the world might just be good old generosity. Acting on the generous side of things could start a worldwide trend which becomes the norm rather than the exception. Eventually no one would be trying to "take" another person for a few extra bucks. Folks would be looking to see how they could leave the bargaining table on the side of generosity. What a knee-jerk moment that would be!

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