The Words of In Jin Moon
Excerpt from In Jin Nim's Message on April 19, 2008 at the meeting with Blessed Wives in Tokyo. (From the book True Children's Words, published by Kogensha)
People sometimes asked me, "In Jin Nim, why don't you do witnessing?" As the answer, I said, "I am quietly doing witnessing every day." True, one method of witnessing is to go around here and there, raising our voices and persuading guests to attend workshops. However, people are observing us.
People in the world observe you and me, who are the Unification Church members, thinking, "The Unification Church emphasizes the importance of making an ideal family, but are their families really ideal families?" When they evaluate us, we might get zero points for making an ideal family. If our families are really good, even though we don't say anything, they will visit us. Then, we can do witnessing naturally. We can do witnessing quietly without any words. Such a method of witnessing is most effective and lasting.
When people in the world see you, if they think, "You are a beautiful person; you raise your kids excellently and support your husband; how do you do that?" they get interested in you, and they feel many things. Then, you can become a model of an ideal family.
If so, how good it is for you as the representative of True Parents! True Father's words should not go in one ear and out the other. Listening to True Father's words, you can plant the seed of your life and make a beautiful family. Nothing is more beautiful and wonderful than this.
True Parents found a spouse for you and gave the blessing to you. I strongly feel that I need to talk to you from the mother's position.
In your long life in the church as members of a blessed family, you might have had the experience of being hurt. Sometimes, you might get angry with your husband. Every woman will have had an experience of thinking, "Why doesn't this person understand me?" I'm also the same. (Laughter) However, in front of our children, we should never say bad things about our husbands, or complain of our husbands, saying, "Why do you always do this?" The child is the existence into which husband and wife are combined. Therefore, when mother complains about father, their children feel as if they were cut into two.
Also, I feel that women need to be careful about what they say to their children. When they talk to their children about a poor result at school, it would be good to say, Is there anything that happened to you at school?" rather than saying, "Why can't you get good grades?" Then, your children feel that you understand them. They feel that they can tell their mothers even what they cannot tell other people. When they feel in such a way, they always will want to come and talk to their mothers.
When our members in America come to my house, they see my husband and I often joking. I also joke with my children.
Some members were surprised to see that we were naturally giving sex education to our children. They asked, "How can you talk about such a sexual issue with your children naturally?" As the answer, I said to them, "Parents should give sex education to their children." Unless parents give sex education to them, they will learn it from their friends or bad people. Therefore, it is important to talk naturally even about the sexual issue.
When your children reach the age of puberty and have some questions about sex, it is good to talk with them, isn't it? Then, you can help them a lot. It is the best way, because no one loves your children more than you love them.
You need to have a lot of conversations with your children as opposed to just giving meals to your children or making them clean externally. You should try to stay with them as long as possible. You can make a time to go shopping, clean the house, or play together with them no matter how busy you are. It is necessary to do these things with them.
It is not good to fail to catch what is going on in your child's mind due to the busy activities of the church. There is sometimes Hoon Dok Hae at 5:00 am in the church, but your children might think it is boring because we just read True Parents' words at Hoon Dok Hae. At the time, you need to prepare an interesting time for them. Even though it is a short time, it is good to have an interesting time together with them. I think, if you prepare such an opportunity for them, your children will perk up at Hoon Dok Hae.