The Words of In Jin Moon from 2012

Lovin' Life Sunday Sermon Notes for June 24, 2012

In Jin Moon

1. Good morning brothers and sisters. How is everyone this morning? I bring you greetings from our True Parents in Korea. I had the great fortune to spend Day of All Things with them. You know whenever I see True Father and True Mother you know, lots of emotions run through my body, run through my memory banks. It really makes me realize how incredibly lucky I am to be living at this time with True Parents, who are really the Second Coming and who have come as representatives of our Heavenly Parent up in Heaven, to really share the breaking news with us and share in the gift of this wonderful thing called the Blessing, through which we can change our lineage from Satan's to God's lineage.

2. As I was looking at this man while were having the events I realized that you know, he is 90 some years old and he is just that ever consistent, never changing, unique, eternal son of God. And you know, he gazes upon all of his children with great love and great affection and certainly we've come to (we meaning my brothers and sisters) experience a lot more parental love in his later years than when he was a young robust man, because he was always so busy with mission work and so busy in terms of pushing forward the Providence at hand.

3. And you know, sometimes he's quite cute. He will say things that I wish I could've heard maybe 30 years ago, but now it's being said and now it's being shared. And I realized that life is really a journey. The life we have with our parents, the life that we have with our family is really a journey, in that you never know what lies around the corner and you never know when you're going to hear those beautiful words and you never know when you're going to have that experience that you've been waiting for, but I find myself sharing those lovely and you know surprising moments with my father and mother and I am so grateful to have them in my life. I think we all feel so grateful to have them in our lives.

4. And, of course you know, my father cannot finish an event without a song. So, when he's calling different people up to sing, it kind of gets a little bit daunting, because you're sitting in the front row and Father keeps on looking at you and he's calling out different people to sing, but he keeps on looking at you. And it's early in the morning, you really don't feel like singing, but nevertheless, after asking different leaders to sing, he asked my younger brother to get up and sing. So, I thought I was off the hook. But when Lovey got up to sing, he looked around, Lovey, and said YOU. And so I was called forward and I was in no mood to sing. Lovey helped me a great deal to sing a rendition of some of my father's favorites.

5. You know, I thought to myself, you know music is everywhere; in our lives and in our church. I don't know if some of you have visited the old home where I grew up. It was basically a church, it was the second floor of a church where I and my brothers grew up. And we basically woke up to singing and praying and we fell asleep to singing and praying. And now I find myself in the presence of my father and mother and they are always singing and they are always praying.

6. And so, this music ministry or Lovin' Life is incredibly important to me because here we delight and we experience and we share in the universal language and it becomes a conduit through which we can experience God's love for us and we can experience our own divinity and feel incredibly inspired and empowered to do something about our lives.

7. And so, as I bid my farewell to my father, you know, I found him seated on this little, tiny chair in front of this little pond down by the training center at Chung Pyung. And he had five fishing poles out on this tiny little pond and he was manning these five fishing poles. So, I came to say goodbye and Father said "sit, sit" and so I sat behind him. And he wanted to catch a fish. And so Father had quite a few grandchildren around him and some people who were taking care of him and Lovey and my husband. Father was saying "shush, be quiet" and so all of us we kind of sat there quietly, waiting. But then Mother said "you know, Father why don't you say goodbye to your daughter because she really needs to get going." Because once my father gets sitting, when Father gets fishing there is really no end. I think my mom was a little bit afraid that I might miss some of the meetings that I had back in Seoul. And so my mother said "Father, please get up and let's wave goodbye to our daughter and let's get her on her way."

8. You know, Chung Pyung is on a hill and so the roads are really quite winding. But in this fishing area they created for my father, he doesn't like to take a car because he likes to kind of feel the nature, feel the wind in his hair, so to speak. So he rides the golf cart down these winding roads. And so when he said goodbye he got into his golf court and he said "Oh, have a good trip; where are you going? So I said, well father, I'm going to Seoul" and Father said "Seoul, Seoul". And you know, Seoul is the capital of Korea. It kind of sounds like 'soul' in English, does it not? But when you say 'Seoul-Hada', when you make it into an active verb, it means "I'm sad", so Father was saying, Seoul Hadamika, Seoul Hada, that means " You're going to Seoul, but somehow I feel sad." I said "yes, Father but I will see you shortly because you're coming back to Las Vegas." And then Father says ….(in Korean) which means "That's right, that's right, that's right" and then Mother said "shall we go, shall we go?"

9. So, the person seated next to Father stepped on the gas and he kind of stopped the guy and said "Wait" and he looked at me and he kind of broke into a kind of song in Korean. (she sings a few bars in Korean) it means "you're beautiful" and he started singing "you're beautiful". I don't know what melody he was singing, but he was singing and he was waving and he was saying "you're beautiful, you're beautiful"

10. And then he kicked the guy to step on the pedal, so the guy hit the pedal and off they went. And I saw my father disappear into the distance into the mountains of Chung Pyung. And he was singing (in Korean)…. "You're beautiful, everything is beautiful" And then he kind of launched into one of his favorite Korean songs. So my vision of my father, as I bid farewell and as I said goodbye, is this cute little old man seated with his wife in a golf cart disappearing into the mountain and I said "Wow, I wonder what people would say if I told them, there goes the Messiah, there goes True Parents" and I realized that, you know, God works in mysterious ways.

11. And that vision of an old man and his wife riding off into the sunset in a golf cart might not be the likely vision of what the Messiah would be like, what True Parents would be like. And perhaps, just like the way the Israelites were expecting the Son of God to come with a band of Angels, with trumpets blaring everywhere, the Son of God descending from the heavens all majestic, all grand and loud and big! But that is not the way Jesus Christ came 2000 years ago; he came very humbly in a natural way you know, in a barn somewhere, full of dung and not the most holiest of places, but that's how he came.

12. And so I realized that we as people, as children of God have lots of expectations about different things in life and certainly you know, maybe lots of people's ideas of what a Messiah should be or what True Parents should be, might not quite fit with what was given to us. You know, perhaps they wouldn't ever expect a man from North Korea. Perhaps they expected a white man, perhaps they expected a white man with blue eyes and blond hair like Hollywood led us to believe. But here comes our True Parents, quite different from what we expected but nonetheless they continue to intrigue us, to inspire us, sometimes mystify us and sometimes leave us dumbfounded. But nevertheless, they are who they are and they have come to share with us the breaking news.

13. So when I thought about our own expectations, of our own visions of what something should be, but many times in reality it is not so and many times reality you know, sometimes plays tricks on us and makes us feel ungrateful or makes us feel unloved and unappreciated, or lost, but nevertheless it's really God's way of reminding us that He and She does work in mysterious ways and it's really an opportunity for us, you know, to not keep our own expectations on things, not always demand things of life and demand things of our Heavenly Parent, but kind of sit back and relax, remain open and sensitive to the voices that are speaking to us in many, many different ways.

14. And this reminds me of a passage in the Bible in First Kings, Chapter 19, verses 11 to 12. The Bible says that the Lord was not found in the powerful winds, not found in this incredibly fearful earthquake, He was not found in this all-consuming blazing fire, but First Kings says God was found in a still small voice.

15. In a way many times what I wanted, when I was going through my adolescence and I was wrestling with my own identity, finding my own identity, of wanting to figure out who I wanted to be; whether I wanted to believe this thing called the Divine principle; whether I wanted to believe in who my parents were. You know. I, like anybody else, went through a lot of searching and lots of praying and lots of crying. But at the same time, I was always hoping to hear the words of God. I said to God "if you exist, I want to see you, I want to hear you, I want to smell you. You know, I want to feel you. I want to know you, so answer me! This is kind of my passion that I had many times. Life is difficult and you just want God to say something; you just want to hear God and that all powerful consuming voice up from the heavens, saying "this is what I want you to do." I wanted somebody to tell me, you know, that everything was going to be all right; I wanted somebody to tell me this is what you should do with your life. I wanted someone to say I am here; I exist and therefore you can believe in me. Because you know that I'm here.

16. I wanted some kind of a sign. And I don't know how many times I yelled out in my prayers "I want to see you, I want to hear you!"

17. But you know, there was this one occasion in my life when I was really, really struggling with different things that were put before me and, you know, the temptations are always there and opportunities are always there. And I wanted God to appear to me and tell me, "don't do it. or just believe in me. or just do this little bit longer and I will have a solution for you." I wanted God to kind of fix my problem; I wanted God to give me the strength, you know, to do the right thing. I wanted God to be there for me, hold my hand. I was really kind of searching and I was really struggling. I was at wits end and I was really kind of asking myself "is life really worth it, because what I see before me and around me is quite miserable" and I couldn't get a sense that there was hope around the corner and I couldn't feel that there is something I could look forward to. And I said "God, just give me a sign, just give me a sign, just let me know that you are there, let me know that I can feel you, that I can hear you. I just want to see you." And I was kind of saying these things over and over again in my struggles.

18. You know, there was a time when I was so desperate I refused to come out of my room. I didn't want to come out until I got some kind of an answer. And something really interesting happened to me, you know. I was waiting to kind of have this vision or revelation; I was waiting for God to appear before me on a cloud, looking like the picture of that big burly grandmother that was almost a Santa Claus figure and I wanted Him to just come and embrace me. And I wanted him to tell me everything is all right, you know; "that I love you, that you're going to do many, many great things." I wanted this commanding presence of a voice and I wanted to hear certain commandments from him telling me exactly what to do, telling me exactly how to solve my problem.

19. And I was waiting and I was waiting desperately and desperately. I waited for many, many days but then I didn't hear anything. I didn't see the Santa Claus figure come down from the clouds with this all-consuming voice to tell me that everything was going to be all right. And so I remember coming out of my room just really, really despondent and terribly hungry, because I had not eaten, because I wanted to find God, I wanted to feel, wanted to see and hear God and I was just so beaten, so crushed. And I was saying to myself, I guess God does not care for me to hear the commanding voice telling me that everything is going to be all right. And He didn't come. But because I was so hungry, so hungry I walked down to the kitchen and started to fix something for myself.

20. Then my younger brother came into the kitchen and he had this kind of tiny radio that he carried around, and a certain song was playing. And in the beginning I wasn't really listening to it. When my brother said Hi, I just simply ignored him because I was so angry that God did not appear in front of me. But he kind of set that radio down on the table in the island of the kitchen where we were sitting many times and ate a plate full of food. I sat down totally devastated, totally crashed; I started to hear this song that was playing and at first, I was like, I just wanted to get rid of any sound; I just wanted to turn it off and I was almost on the brink of telling my brother to turn the darn thing off, but then the song kind of got to the chorus and it was "How deep is your love" by the Bee Gees. And this song kind of hit off on the chorus saying "how deep is your love, how deep is your love?"

21. At that moment I realized, "oh my God, here I am – I wanted to hear God loud and clear. I was kind of expecting this mystical manifestation to appear and to occur in front of my eyes; I was expecting something big, something majestic, something all-consuming. But I realized God spoke to me in a very gentle and very small voice of the Bee Gees… you don't expect God to sound like that; you don't expect God to be coming through a radio being sung by the Bee Gees, the three brothers. You're kind of expecting like a band of angels, like a Mormon Tabernacle choir set to some kind of a band or something and you're expecting something loud and big. But he had this radio on really, small, small volume – "how deep is your love, how deep is your love?"

22. And I was thinking "is this the way God is talking to me? but it just kept on singing and every once in a while (she imitates the music). And I said, "this is not God, it can't possibly be God, because it's the Bee Gees." But guess what, in my devastation, in my moment of utter obliteration and destruction, God spoke to me in that still small voice. And instead of, you know, giving me these commandments like, "In Jin Nim I will solve your problems." Like the 10 Commandments that he gave to Moses, I wanted my 10 Commandments that is going to solve all my problems. But instead of giving me this powerful commanding commandments, He gave me the Bee Gees. And instead of a commandment, he gave me a question. He asked me "how deep is your love?" Meaning, what is your capacity to love, what is your capacity, or the depth, or the width, or the magnitude through which you will journey on through life and experience this thing called love in its multifaceted ways.

23. Many times when we think of love we think it's like this one thing, all lovely, all beautiful. But you realize that love can be experienced in many different ways: sometimes love can be experienced in the most bizarre situations or in the most ugly situations or sometimes in the most holiest ways or sometimes in the most jubilant ways and sometimes in the saddest of ways. You realize that love is multifaceted and that's why it intrigues us and it compels us to learn more and more about it each day and each moment of our lives.

24. And I realized that God was speaking to me, not giving me an answer, but He was asking me the question "how deep is your love, how deep is your love, is your love?" So instead of a band of angels I got two brothers, "how deep is your love, how deep is your love?" And they were asking me this question, that really made me think You know, well how deep is my love? Do I really love the people that I profess to love? Do I really care about the people that mean something to me? Or if I do, how do I express this love?

25. So I realized in that moment, just like the way the Bible says " it's not the earthquakes or the wind or the fire that is going to reveal to us the power and the magnitude and the majesty of God, but sometimes it's in the small quiet voice and sometimes it's in a way that we least expect it. I did not expect to meet God through the Bee Gees. But in that moment of my life when I was utterly desperate, utterly searching, really in need of some kind of a sign, I got a sign from God. I got the voice of God in the most unexpected of ways. And I realized that that's kind of the beauty of life. God continues to mystify us and be mysterious, but nevertheless finds ways of letting us know that He and She loves us, cares about us, and wants the best for us.

26. I realize that not only was God experienced for me, for the first time, not through a set of commandments, through this majestic big picture, but through the small still voice of a song that was coming out of my younger brother's radio. I realized that many times when we least expect it, that's when God reveals Him or Herself to us. So, in a way, when God asked me 'how deep is your love?' he was asking me this question in the context of my all-consuming expectation of what I wanted God to do, but I also realized that God many times has touched me, continues to touch me and will, in the future, touch me in ways that sometimes I least expect.

27. And so, you know, I realize that sometimes, you know, music has been such an incredible important part of my life. And so when I was thinking about the sermon topic, I realized that "wow!" at these crucial moments of my life God has spoken to me through songs. It is quite incredible. You know, that in my first desperate attempt to see God, to feel God, to hear God, and out comes the Bee Gees. And out comes this question "how deep is your love?"

28. And the next time in my life when I was really kind of struggling, because it just felt like my whole world was coming to an end… you know, when I experienced God with the Bee Gees I was single'…but you know, in the throes of my marriage, the next level of my life – everybody knows that building an ideal family is not automatic, it's not a natural process. A great deal of effort needs to go into it. And certainly I am no different, so in dealing with all the things that I had to deal with, I was just ready to give up again. And (I was) not really looking forward to the next sunrise. Really, really down. I just felt incredibly down and I remember when I first heard Chris Cornell sing this song. I was like, "wow! that's exactly what I feel, like you know right now I'm in the throes of feeling like I'm down all the time. I can't possibly shake this burden; shake this responsibility it's just crushing me. You know, I feel like "I'm just down, there's just no up anywhere. How am I going to get through another day?"" And again I was praying and I was talking to God saying "you know, I just wish, I just wish I could find the strength to go on. I just wish that there was something that I could cling on to. And you know this song came on and it just kind of hit me, it just got me, and I just couldn't stop crying.

29. I was thinking, "oh my God, I've often felt that if God was a musician and if God was a musician he'd probably be viewed to be the world's best, the universe's best, the cosmos' best blues singer or player." Because you know you sing the blues because you've suffered, your life is miserable and lots of difficulty has hit you and smacked you in the face. But you have the strength to sing about it and by singing about it your kind of sharing with everybody what you've been going through. But in singing about it you're, in a way, saying, "but I've got to go on. I'm going to make it through with my buddies in the band here. Or I'm going to make it through because this song makes me feel so good, I'm going to sing me another blues."

30. And so, I felt like if God was given a musician's chair he'd probably be like the greatest blues singer. And He'd probably be singing about how He lost his children, how He lost his son and daughter and, all those years of waiting, all His years of suffering, trying to really prepare a way for the son of God to appear. And then again having to wait another 2000 years before enough preparation could be made to really invite the Second Coming or the Messiah, to really take on the mission of being the victorious son and daughter of God.

31. God has been singing the blues for an awful long time. I am sure many times Jesus Christ sang the blues. We never know what music was playing in his head when he was being crucified on the cross. But, when I have those visions, the kind of music that I hear when I see, like the movie of Jesus Christ's crucifixion, when he was dying on the cross alone, with no disciples anywhere in sight. You know, I often ask myself, if one disciple stood by his side and said, "crucify me instead." What would've happened? How would Jesus Christ have felt? But not one volunteered to take Jesus' place. They all disappeared. They all ran away. And Jesus was left to die on the cross alone.

32. And I've often asked myself the question, how many times did Father, when he first realized the magnitude of the mission at hand, how many times must he have cried the blues, because – the people did not understand him, or people did not realize who he was and what he came to do?

33. And I've often felt kind of like, this Chris Cornell song – "When I'm Down." Because, sometimes in the context of this community where our goal is to build ideal families, you realize that there is so much suffering, and so much pain, and so much misery going on. You sometimes have to wonder, is there really going to be a tomorrow, is there really going to be an opportunity for me to finally accomplish what I would like to accomplish? I've often found myself singing the blues too.

34. When I heard this song, again God spoke to me in the still small voice, in the small voice of a song, but it was God nonetheless. And it was a message that I needed to hear. Because the song goes on, "I only love you when I'm down, but I am down all the time."

35. At that moment in my life, I felt like there was nothing but down. But in a way God was telling me, whether you are down or feeling like floating in this perpetual sea of downess, I'm still going to be there. Even when you're feeling like you're in this universe, feeling down, I'm still a part of your universe because I'm your parent. And guess what, I love you. You think I only love you when I'm down, but I really love you all the time, because I am down all the time.

36. In a way God is taking the unexpected. I expect God to tell me that he loves me and show me in the ways that I expect what a loving gesture is supposed to be. Perhaps He loves me when I'm feeling jubilant, when I'm feeling really great about myself. But, in this least expected, or unexpected way, God was saying – kind of playing word tricks on me. God was saying I love you all the time.

37. John Lennon wrote a song [Beautiful Boy]a while back and one of the lyrics says, "life is what happens when you're making other plans." Many times our life is kind of like that. We are constantly making plans for our children, constantly making plans for our family – and there are all these wonderful things that we would like to accomplish. But then life happens. You know, things go wrong. Our children are led astray. Our children fall down and nick their knees. Things that are unexpected fall by the wayside and we are left wondering, "where is God?"

38. But I realize that in the depth of my despair, God again was telling me through song, "look, I am there." And the real question you need to ask yourself, instead of being crushed by the sheer weight of life as it happens, what are you going to do about it? In other words, how are you going to love? To kind of take yourself out of this misery, to kind of pull yourself up by the bootstraps – be your own agent of change. That's the message that God sent to me. "You feel like life has kept you down and you are down all the time. But, you need to know that I love you nonetheless and I've always loved you."

39. But the real question is, what are you going to do about it? And so I realized in hindsight that sometimes God pushes us to our limit. Sometimes God kind of forces us, or compels us, to experience what we really don't like to experience. Because through that experience comes a new found understanding of how to bend to love somebody.

John Walsh, creator of America's Most Wanted

40. As weird as it sounds, the founder of the TV program, "America's Most Wanted," [John Walsh]-- he became the spokesperson for this program, "America's Most Wanted," Because he suffered the brutal death of his child. And, instead of being devastated, instead of being destroyed, instead of being obliterated by life as it happens, while we are making other plans – I am sure he had plans for this child to go on to a fantastic school, perhaps be a fantastic musician, perhaps be a fantastic professor or artists. I'm sure he had other plans. But his child was murdered, and he really had to ask himself the question, "I'm really down and I'm not feeling the love. But am I going to be crushed or am I going to be my own agent of change and create something beautiful out of my suffering? Perhaps because I have suffered this incredible, brutal murder of my child – maybe I can help other people in similar situations." And so one man's misery has turned into a life giving hope for a lot of parents in similar situations.

41. So I realize that that moment, as long as I could find the strength in myself, and I realize whenever I wanted God to solve something for me, to fix something, He or She always pushes back with a question, that makes me think about how I can be that contributing factor to make things better. Perhaps I suffered with what I've suffered, I've dealt with what I've dealt with, because in the experience of going through those throes of pain and suffering, perhaps it puts me in a better situation to help other people.

42. I never realized that, in the course of my life, I never really had dreams of being a senior pastor or be put in the situation to help a lot of people. But I find myself tapping in to all those times when I've suffered, when I felt like I just couldn't go on anymore, when I felt totally helpless. But somehow God has helped me along the way so that I can last long enough to help other people who might be in similar situations.

43. Again, I realize, you know, God doesn't come riding on this brilliant white horse like a prince and just sweeps me off my feet. God really expects me to deal with my problems, with my life. But at the same time letting me know in many many different ways, in those still small voices that He and She are there always, and helping me and guiding me.

44. And I realize that when, "how deep is your love?" was sung by the Bee Gees, for me, because I came from a Korean background and learned English – words are incredibly fascinating for me. I like to look at the words, turn it around, sometimes reverse the letters, sometime use the word or the letters as an acronym. So, when I saw the word Bee Gees, that was a time I was really suffering and doubting God. The song was being played, "how deep is your love" sung by Bee Gees (Be G (God)) it was a reminder to me to continue to believe in God – believe in God.

45. And when Chris Cornell was singing, "I only love you when I'm down" for me Chris Cornell was a nice reminder – center your core, no matter where you're going, center and be true to your core.

46. The next song, "in the name of love" that helped me a great deal in terms of dealing with some of the things I had to deal with, was sung by U2. So in a way God was saying to me, "believe in God" "center your core" then "U2" can experience the kingdom of heaven by building this ideal family, or one family under God.

47. And, "in the name of love," that song was another level in my life. Now it wasn't just marriage it was kids! As a mother we want to create an incredibly wonderful environment for the kids. And, I want the best for my kids. I look at my kids like a precious diamond, like a precious diamond uncovered deep beneath the Earth's surface. So when you first take out a chunk of diamond it is encrusted with a lot of other things. In order for you to reveal the brilliance of the diamond it has to go through a process of being cleaned, of being cut, of being polished. It's a long process. So you realize that a child, in coming to their own, in coming to realize the real true value, the divine value, it's going to take some time – no matter how quickly you want it to happen. Every child has its own time, just like the way when you want to plant corn, you plant corn in the spring. But no matter how much you want to eat it in the spring, you wait for the harvest in the fall. Everything has that time and every person is different, in that every person has a different time or a cycle on which they realize who they are. And they realize that, "I am that incredible diamond and it's my duty to share my brilliant light with the rest of the world, and not just keep it for myself."

48. In one of the things that I was struggling with my children, was how do I really teach, or how do I educate my kids to really want to have this thing called the Blessing. You know, to really want to dedicate themselves to this one spouse, eternal spouse. It's so beautiful. And how do I get them to prepare and wait for something good? There is just so much temptation all around, so much static in the air saying, "why wait? Experiment! Enjoy yourself! Go through different processes and sooner or later if you want the Blessing, then go to the Blessing." A lot of people are saying a lot of things. Some kids might be good and some kids might be saying, "the Blessing, why is that important? Maybe it's not so important. We just take whatever we can at the moment."

49. As a mother you want your child to have the best in life. Meaning, I know that the most important thing when you ask somebody, "What is the most important thing for you?" It boils down to one thing most of the time in conversations – is that person's desire to love and to be loved. Everybody wants to love and to be loved. Everybody wants to experience true love. Everybody wants to be appreciated, respected, adored, loved. And, nobody wants to be hurt, nobody wants to suffer the pain of people not treating you in the best way when it comes to the subject of love. And I certainly don't want my children to have numerous relationships and go through the throes of different things that a lot of young people – just throw themselves to. I don't want my kids to throw themselves to the wind. I want them to wait and prepare themselves for that special someone so that something precious is shared on that first night that they are together. I want my kids to have that.

50. When I thought about how do I inspire my child to want that, I realized one thing in the course of my growing up in the movement. And that is, in order to love somebody you really need to have the courage to love. Life is so difficult for young people, because your friends are telling you, "do this, do that, do drugs, have sex, have numerous relationships, love doesn't matter." Magazines are telling you that, friends are telling you that, sometimes people in your family are telling you that. In a way, it's difficult to love. You realize if you want to accomplish or really create an ideal family are finally substantiate something beautiful at hand – you really have to be courageous enough to say, "no, I'm not going to throw my life to the wind, because I want something better. Yes you are telling me all these things – let's go do this let's go do that. But I need to be courageous enough to stand up for what I believe in, for what I want to accomplish in my life. And to remain steadfast in my desire and in my dream, to accomplish what I want to accomplish."

51. In a way it takes tremendous courage to withstand all the temptations and all the wind and all the earthquake and fire that's going on that wants to consume you, that wants to burn you, that wants to wreak havoc on you.

52. I realize as a parent, I think a lot of parents in the audience, when we have kids we kind of make the same mistake that took place in the Garden of Eden. When I think about the fall and when I think about Adam and Eve going astray – you know God gave them a fearful commandment. God told them, "if you eat of the fruit of the tree you will die." That's like telling your kids, "if you have sex you are going to have cancer." That's pretty scary. God wanted to scare them. And many times we as parents want to scare our kids into obedience.

53. But guess what? Trying to scare our kids into obedience doesn't work. Telling them all the things they cannot do, because all these horrible things will happen to them, is not inspiring. In fact when I look at my own life I realize, when I truly ask myself the honest question, "why did I wait for the Blessing? Why did I want to wait? It's not that there wasn't opportunity. Of course there is opportunity. It's not that there wasn't temptation. Of course there is temptation."

54. But it's not the fear of getting in trouble that kept me away. It's not the fear of going to hell. When you're an adolescent you think hell is kind of cool. You think life is really bad, so hell, maybe I should try it out. You want to test the extreme frontier. And for a law to religious minded community settings like ours, hell is that extreme frontier that adolescents will test, time and time again. Fear is not going to protect our kids. The fear of hell, everlasting fire burning, is not going to scare our kids. It certainly did not scare me. I thought, "I'm living in hell so it can't be that much worse." And I'm sure a lot of young people feel that way.

55. But what really inspired me, what really kept me empowered in the courage to love is this dream that I had. If I were to really honestly ask myself, "yeah, I could do those things, I could do everything that everyone else does, but if I wanted to ask myself what is the most important thing that I want in my life – I honestly have to say, the most important thing in my life is really to be loved and to love. And to have a beautiful family." I wanted, "it's a wonderful life" kind of a family. I wanted a family where everyone is happy to see each other at Thanksgiving, at Christmas. And I wanted a family where my parents would be there, because they were never there, they were so busy. I wanted an intimate setting, a nice quiet setting filled with small and lovely voices. That's what I wanted.

56. It's the dream of wanting something. It's the vision of what I wanted to accomplish in my life that kept me waiting and kept me hopeful that kept me wanting to prepare for that big day and not a fear of being condemned to hell. Then I realized that, just like Adam and Eve, they were not consumed by fear of dying. In fact, fear didn't really hold water to the kind of thing are the kind of promise that Lucifer portrayed or painted for Eve. He said to her, "you will be as powerful as God, you'll be as knowledgeable as God, you'll be omniscient, omnipotent." It's this dream or vision of being like God that gave Eve the courage to do what she should not have done. In a way, it's the act of being inspired that caused Eve to follow Lucifer. And he inspired her in the wrong way.

57. So, if fear of dying did not deter Eve from falling and Adam from falling, what makes us as parents think that it's going to work with our kids?

58. Here at Lovin' Life Ministries' I encourage the parents, I encourage the family, do not give your kids a list of things that they cannot do. Because the list is really long. But give them a dream, give them a vision of what they can be, of what they can have, of what they accomplish in the name of love – living a life of sacrifice, living the life for the sake of others, in a way, preparing your life for the sake of the other who is going to be your eternal partner for the rest of your life. Geez, that's kind of romantic isn't it? Everybody wants a great romance. Well, Heavenly Father has given it to us, so how about it?

59. I realize that even with my own children, the minute I gave them a list of things they cannot do, the next thing I know they've done them. And they will do them. So, I've had to take a different approach – not surround them with fear and all the horrible things that will happen in their lives, but I've decided to paint a vision, or paint a picture of all that they can have in their life, if they learn to wait and if they learn to develop this courage to love. Because, it's hard. It's hard to stand up for what you believe in and to fight for what you want out of life.

60. And so again, when I was confronted with my own maternal duties and how to deal with my kids, how to raise my kids, this song came into my mind and into my heart – and again it reminded me that God is in all the small things that sometimes we don't listen to, because we haven't trained ourselves to be open and sensitive.

61. My younger sister, [Un Jin Moon] she's an equestrian sportswoman. Because she was so into riding we all grew up riding horses. And one of the things you realize about horses is that they are controlled by a bit and bridle and also by the way you flex in the way you pressure your feet into the horse, in the different directions you want to go. So there are a lot of command centers on the horse that are operating at the same time.

62. But the finest horses, the horses that do extremely well, that have this incredible unity with the rider – they have what we call the reining ear. What the rider means by that is, yes the horse is given the command to go left to go right to go fast or slow or to stop – with the bit and the bridle, because the hand of the rider is controlling the bit and the bridle. At the same time the horse that is trained and highly adept at doing things with the rider in a uniform fashion so that they become almost like one body – they utilize the "reining ear." What that means is that one ear of the horse is always tuned in to the master's voice or the trainer's voice. So even though a lot of noise is taking place, a lot of directions and commands are taking place – external commands through the bit and bridle and through the legs telling the horse of what it should do – the horse leaves one ear open constantly to listen to the master's voice. And many times the direction from the master is told in a very very small still voice. Many times it's just a sound (she made a clicking sound) and it tells the horse – do this or do that. The master trainer and the horse have their own little language. And it's the reining ear that is always on, that is always open and is always sensitive to the master's trainer's voice – that tells the horse exactly what to do. So even if the bridle says one thing or the bit might say one thing or the leg might say something, if the reining ear is saying slow down a little bit more or wait or be cautious – then the horse adjusts whatever it's doing to that voice.

63. I realize that in the course of our lives, lots of external pressures – try to conform us, trying to pressure us into doing many different things, there are a lot of different command centers everywhere – but I think we as God's children, we as His and Her divine sons and daughters, must, just like a horse, keep that reining ear open – and that we keep our hearts open and sensitive to the voice, many times a very small voice that translates, or that Heavenly Father or Heavenly Mother wants to share with all of us.

64. In the course of my life God spoke to me in many many different ways, but one of the ways that He and She spoke to me was through these three songs, in these three different episodes or phases in my life. And so I realize again my own preconceptions, my own expectations might not be exactly sound – and that sometimes it's the least expected or the least anticipated or sometimes it's in the most quiet of ways that God lets us know that we are loved and that we are cared for and that God wants us to do our best, wants us to really be that agent of change to usher in the next millennium.

65. As I saw my father, kind of disappear into the distance, singing one of his favorite Korean songs – again it was a song set to my ears and God spoke to me, "isn't this a beautiful picture? This is so unlike what you envisioned a Messiah to be, right?" That's what God said to me.

66. And again I felt this incredible warmth, incredible love, and incredible energy to take me back home and to continue doing what I do each and every day. And I realized that just as the Bible said, it's not the wind, it's not the earthquake, it's not the fire. In other words don't look for the big stuff, for the superficiality of life, for the loud stuff, for the things that cause you to tremble. But really look deep within and keep our reining ears open, because when we do we realize that the master trainer, or the Master guide, or our master Heavenly Parent is always speaking to us, always guiding this, and always loving us.

67. So brothers and sisters in that way keep your reining ear open to our True Parents love because they are here guiding us, leading us, and wanting the best for us as Gods eternal sons and daughters.

68. There is a lot of static in the air all the time. A lot of people saying a lot of silly things, but keep that reining ear open. Keep your heart open and sensitive to God's serious ways. And you will realize, if we do, that God is speaking to us all the time.

69. God bless and have a great week! Thank you.


1 Kings, chapter 19

1: Ahab told Jez'ebel all that Eli'jah had done, and how he had slain all the prophets with the sword.

2: Then Jez'ebel sent a messenger to Eli'jah, saying, "So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow."

3: Then he was afraid, and he arose and went for his life, and came to Beer-sheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there.

4: But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree; and he asked that he might die, saying, "It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am no better than my fathers."

5: And he lay down and slept under a broom tree; and behold, an angel touched him, and said to him, "Arise and eat."

6: And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank, and lay down again.

7: And the angel of the LORD came again a second time, and touched him, and said, "Arise and eat, else the journey will be too great for you."

8: And he arose, and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mount of God.

9: And there he came to a cave, and lodged there; and behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and he said to him, "What are you doing here, Eli'jah?"

10: He said, "I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the people of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thy altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."

11: And he said, "Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake;

12: and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

13: And when Eli'jah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him, and said, "What are you doing here, Eli'jah?"

14: He said, "I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the people of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thy altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."

15: And the LORD said to him, "Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus; and when you arrive, you shall anoint Haz'ael to be king over Syria;

16: and Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel; and Eli'sha the son of Shaphat of A'bel-meho'lah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place.

17: And him who escapes from the sword of Haz'ael shall Jehu slay; and him who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Eli'sha slay.

18: Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Ba'al, and every mouth that has not kissed him."

19: So he departed from there, and found Eli'sha the son of Shaphat, who was plowing, with twelve yoke of oxen before him, and he was with the twelfth. Eli'jah passed by him and cast his mantle upon him.

20: And he left the oxen, and ran after Eli'jah, and said, "Let me kiss my father and my mother, and then I will follow you." And he said to him, "Go back again; for what have I done to you?"

21: And he returned from following him, and took the yoke of oxen, and slew them, and boiled their flesh with the yokes of the oxen, and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he arose and went after Eli'jah, and ministered to him.

How Deep Is Your Love - Songwriters: Gibb, Maurice Ernest; Gibb, Robin Hugh; Gibb, Barry

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love

How deep is your love, how deep is your love
I really mean to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
You're my savior when I fall

And you may not think, I care for you
When you know down inside that I really do
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love

How deep is your love, how deep is your love
I really mean to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love

How deep is your love, how deep is your love
I really mean to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

How deep is your love, how deep is your love
I really mean to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

How deep is your love, how deep is your love
I really mean to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

When I'm Down by Chris Cornell

What say you now?
The door is, opening,
on your vigil,
and I'm in my usual way.
I'll save my breath, knowing,
what you're wanting me to say,
"I only love you, when I'm down"

You say that midnight,
opens it's song for me,
leaving you alone,
and then I fly so far away,
until the light blurs my vision,
and I have nowhere to roam,
I only love you when I'm down...


And I only love you when I'm down.
And I'm only near you when I'm gone.
But one thing for you to keep in mind, you know,
that I'm down, all the time,
all the time...


I know you're reaching out,
and you need to feel my hand,
you wanna be loved,
yeah, well I understand.
I know you hold,
precious little hope for me,
and in your happiness,
I'm always drowning in my grief.


Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) by John Lennon

Close your eyes
Have no fear
The monster's gone
He's on the run and your daddy's here


Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better


Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
'Cause it's a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans


Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Darling, darling, darling
Darling Sean

Pride (In The Name Of Love) by U2

One man come in the name of love
One man come and go
One come he to justify
One man to overthrow

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love

One man caught on a barbed wire fence
One man he resist
One man washed on an empty beach.
One man betrayed with a kiss

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love

(nobody like you...)

Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love...  

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