Raising Children in God's Will
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
Section 6. Children's Birth and Growth [Part 1]
1. Origin of Life
Originally love had to bloom between Adam and Eve, when they were most joyful, when they experienced life's ultimate and ideal force. So their love would bloom like a power, its fragrance would overflow the whole universe. God hoped that such joy of love between Adam and Eve would intoxicate Him and would bring Him the ultimate happiness. God and humanity can be in total harmony, where the flower of ideal love blossoms. They become inseparable. Love should have resulted only in such a state.
Adam and Eve should have made the fruit of love only in such a holy state. Then what was going to happen to that fruit? Fruit is basically like a seed. A seed. Every seed is made of two different pieces connected by an embryo bud where there is life. The origin of a seed's life is parental love and their life force as well as God's love and life force. The seed is essential for life to grow and develop. (104-45)
A fundamental element that composes a human being is love before anything else. Even life is after love. (177-314)
Love is the ancestor of creation. Do you understand what I mean by that? If it is the ancestor, then naturally we expect to see descendants. Love is a binding force tying ancestors and descendants as one. Love is a son's father, at the same time, a father's son. In love, father and son are one. (118-289)
2. Pregnancy and Morning Sickness
A baby's seed is inside of a mother's womb. A father also has seeds doesn't he? A father's seeds are inside him. Therefore, a baby can be conceived by going through from the father's inside to the mother's. Then how can a baby be created? Through a mother and father. All of you are created by going through your father and mother's insides. History is interesting when you look at it that way. (16-192)
Are you happy or unhappy to be born a woman? Answer me. Are you miserable or happy? (Happy) According to the original plan of creation, you should be thoroughly happy to be women. However, you are unhappy to be women because you were born after the fall of humankind. You are truly miserable. Why is it so? Who was the cause of the fall? (A woman) Woman, a woman was the cause. So what caused the fall? (Love) Love, love caused the fall. As it reads in the Bible, the satanic world bore fruit with Sodom. This kind of society will always be punished. Always. Rome fell because of its citizens' promiscuity and lewdness.
The decline of the United States is also being caused by its people's loose morality. Why does God hate the sin of promiscuity and lewdness the most? Originally, love is a contact line that only God dominates. It is the contact line on which God can build up an ideal world. It is like a chain. Then what is the contact line centered upon? It is centered on love. God wanted to build an ideal world by making that contact line which is a chain of love. But He has not been able to realize His original plan. All were ruined because of Adam and Eve's fault.
God wants to mend his broken chain of love, let a man hold one side and a woman the other and then make that chain one again as a fruit symbolizing the unity of the whole world. He wanted to plant the seed of that fruit of love between a man and a woman and bear thousands and millions of heavenly fruits. The storehouse for those fruits is the Kingdom of Heaven. Women are very important. Why are women happy? Why? Because God's beloved human beings can be born and raised through a woman's body. Do you understand? There is no other way for any human being to be born without going through a woman's body. Do you see?
However big God's hope for humanity is, that world of hope cannot be realized without women. It is impossible. Neither a man nor a woman can conceive babies without each other. The moment a baby is conceived, it starts a deep relationship with the mother. Until the baby is born to this world, it grows inside the mother as part of her flesh and blood. Beloved sons and daughters are undeniably precious. Do you understand? They are God's precious gift. You cannot trade them with any amount of money. You would not trade them with the whole world. They are that precious. They are that precious to God and their parents as well.
Can anyone trade their children for anything in this world? Who embraces and protects in her bosom and make those lives be born as God's priceless gifts to this world? Mothers. What fathers do is limited to giving their seed to mothers-to-be. Don't you agree? Therefore, everyone in the world owes a lot to mothers. In that respect, men cannot reach women's depth in the world of heart and love. No matter how well one describes that world to men, they cannot perceive such depth. (165-100)
Women suffer the pain of childbirth. They carry their babies for nine months... How do you call it? Morning sickness... Morning sickness is a signal. It's a signal to call out for universal sympathy. Calling out for protection. Protect! That is what the signal means. Isn't it interesting? It is also a warning to be careful for mothers. Be careful, be careful! In this respect, morning sickness is not a bad thing. Babies whose mothers had to go through a rough pregnancy (morning sickness etc.) possess a keen sense. You will see. Those babies are very sharp. They usually grow up to be religious people or literary men like poets. If you carry a baby who is dull like an ox, you don't suffer morning sickness that much.
Therefore, when a woman goes through hardship because of morning sickness, she should not complain saying, "Baby, why are you doing this to me?" Instead, the more she suffers, the better heart she should possess. She should even be able to laugh about it. If she can laugh, ha, ha, ha, while she throws up, even God will watch her with curiosity. God immediately knows when something or somebody acts against the universal law. God would say, "Naturally, she should show some kind of agony, but she is laughing so hard. Why is it so?" Wouldn't He come and look at the woman and smile at what He sees or not? He might even ask her why she is laughing. Don't you think that I would give such a special woman a gift? "You are indeed my daughter." I will praise her.
Morning sickness is hard to deal with, but it also can give a woman an opportunity for God's trust and blessing. "Signal, signal! Signal for protection." [You should have told us that before. It would have been much better if you found it out yourselves first. You don't think. That is the problem. That is the principle. Morning sickness is not at all a bad thing. It is a signal to protect mothers-to-be.
Women are very precious. Women's bodies are precious. They should receive love from men. Women embrace babies so they deserve to receive love from men. That is a universal law. Husbands cannot hit their wives who love their children. They must not hit them. It is simple but true. If a wife puts all her heart into her baby, even the most stupid husband cannot hit her. He should embrace his wife with love. Do you understand? God cannot hate such a husband who cares for his wife so much. When God embraces and loves such a family, the entire universe dwells upon that family. Have you ever made tofu, bean curd? Do you know how to make it? You grind beans and put them into a cloth wrapper. Love is like a novel, everything is intertwined. Do you understand what I am saying? So through giving birth, the woman becomes a true woman. She has to be able to feel the mother's heart. (165-101)
Wait and see. The more the couple pray for their baby the better baby will be born. Just wait and see whether I am telling the truth or not. They have a strong character, too. Of the blessed families here, those who think their children have a strong character, put up your hands. Comparing your children with those from other homes, those who think their children have a stronger character, raise your hand. They have a strong character and they are smart. I arranged it that way for you. Whatever way you want to look at it, Unification Church marriages are a hundred times better than marriages in the satanic world. (79-144)
Why are the man and woman so happy when the wife becomes pregnant? God knows that the woman thinks, "I will receive love." He made them like that. And he will say, "Yes, you deserve to receive love." God created women like this. Why? For what reason? He wanted to give everything and so He trained them to give everything. When the baby is born, who nourishes it? Even though the mother gives her bones, her flesh, her everything, she is still happy. She is even happy when she starts to get fat. When she sleeps, she sleeps in this way. She is not able to sleep like this. She lies down and sleeps like this smugly thinking about her baby only. [Laughter] It is really difficult to give birth, isn't it? After birth you have to breast feed. Before birth, the baby feeds from within the womb. After birth, it feeds from the side. The mother makes many sacrifices; that's why the mother says, "I will receive love" The more I look at God, the more I realize He is a wonderful mathematical gentleman. He takes everything into consideration. And in this we can find the logic why God created women last. God created women last! [Laughter] It is like grafting, is it not? You have to put the plus and the minus together. Because God has this kind of nature ... Because through getting pregnant the woman has stood in the position allowed by God, it is possible for her to say, "Love me." Do you understand? It is possible for her to want to receive love. It is the same thing as her saying, "If you love me, you will receive love, too. You will receive love, too. Do you understand?" This is pretty fantastic, isn't it? Why do I receive love? It is in order to love and return love. If you want to go close to God you have no other choice than to love. So this kind of true love ... I have already said it before, but what is the universe? It is the second mother's womb. You are living in you mother's womb, now. Just as the baby takes its mother's flesh and blood, we live, taking all the sap and juice out of the universe. (123-110)
3. The Birth of a Baby
1) The Mystery of the Woman's Body
Dr. Kang, are you here? Would the size of a woman's womb be about like this? It's only this size, but how much it expands; it expands more than rubber, raw rubber. It is mysterious. It expands more than crude rubber.
They say when you are observing a Cesarean section, all of the child in the enlarged womb can be seen. How about that? How mysterious that is. (Applause) Inside, the baby does not stay still even if God spoke to him, saying, "Little boy, don't move! Stay still!" What does he do? The baby kicks and moves just as he pleases; he never thinks what might happen if the womb pops from the inside. If the child knew it was dangerous, would he move about? (Laughter) It is actually quite dangerous. A mystery, isn't it? That is why looking at a baby is such a mystery. If you think about those things, it is fantastic. We almost want to ask him, "Hey, you! How were you born?" Try to think about how mysterious it is. If you were to create human beings like that, how would it be? You wouldn't be able to do it in a thousand years. (1982 June 20, Belvedere Training Center)
When man is born and when he dies, he should try to greet heaven and greet the earth. (1982 Jan. 2, America)
2) Birth Pains
When you were born, do you recall how difficult it was when you were coming out of your mother's stomach? (No) Then how do you teach about that? You'll know if you give birth. (Laughter) Why did God make a child to be born in this way? How easy it would be if it were as simple as talking, or as easy as eating good food, or as the scent of perfume spreads, just feeling good, opening your mouth and saying "Ha ha ha," to give birth? Why isn't giving birth like that, but delivered in a perspiring life-or-death situation?
Why was it made like that? This was to observe brilliant love. In terms of electricity, there is what is called a starting motive current. Motive current. What is that? When you click on a switch, at that moment, a strong current several tens of times the power is discharged at once. In the same way, if man is in a state where everything is cut off so that he feels, "I am tired of everything, there is nothing," and he is suddenly connected, the power of love explodes with tremendous energy. It is the same logic. Do you understand? [Yes]
In such a situation confronting death where eyeballs jump out of the sockets and all things are destroyed, if a child cries its first cry and is born, his eyes open wide. All pain disappears in an instant. Mother knows that well, don't you? You gave birth with such difficulty so you can love more than the hardships experienced. In that way, you clench your teeth, undergo pain and then love the baby. You will say, "Aigoo!" Do you understand what that means? Is the pain of a mother giving birth a happy one or an unhappy one? [A happy one.] A father will never understand no matter how you describe it. A father doesn't know how much the mother went through. The father will never know more than the mother. That is why the mother is the best when it comes to knowing the true taste of love. (1980 Jan. 20, Belvedere Training Center)
Ladies, are you afraid of delivering a child? If you ask women who have given birth, they all say, at the time of birth they thought they would die, but after giving birth, that "feeling of death" disappears in an instant. On a ship, a seasick person will vomit and thinks he will die, but once he sets foot on land again, he is immediately well. This is a similar situation. You should try to experience it. Of course, it isn't easy to spend nine months with a baby in your stomach. (1989 Jan. 6, Hannamdong estate)
3) The Moment of Birth Is Pure Joy
Then, for each one of us, when is our day of glory? [Our spiritual birthday!] (Laughter) Besides your spiritual birthday, the day that you were born is your day of glory. (Laughter) By the way, if you watch a person being born, every single baby cries as soon as he is born. He wails out loud. That is the time of glory. Is that a day of joy? Have you ever thought about it?
Then, why does a newborn cry? If we say he cries because he truly feels joy, that would be a very witty interpretation. Why is that so? Inside the mother's womb, the baby could not see the mother or father's faces no matter how much he thought, "What do they look like?" Then all of his wishes came true, and not knowing what the outside world was like and yearning to see it all, it is a moment in which he jumps out into that world. He can now eat with his mouth rather than from the umbilical cord, and many other rapid changes occur around him. That baby opens his mouth, which used to be closed, to eat. He begins to eat. (Laughter) How happy, how hopeful he is, and how much has he been wishing for this?
Why does that newborn cry? It's nice to think that he is filled with joy and cries. Aren't you that way as well? When people who are truly happy meet each other, tears will flow. Have you seen that before? (Yes) If something joyful happens, if you can experience a time that makes you happier than when you were first born, that indeed would be a new morning of glory. Is there a parent who would cry together when the baby cries? Parents would be happy, watching that baby cry. It is not normal if the baby doesn't cry. All babies cry when they are born. When you were born, you amazed your parents, drew the interest of your relatives and surprised all of your surroundings, isn't that so?
If you were born as the prince of a particular country, all of the people of that country would watch you, and even all things of that country would focus on you. Everyone would be watching that instant when you are born. Then, when that baby cries, the news would spread throughout the nation and the voices of joy would continue even after the baby stopped its first cry. When we human beings were born when the original man was born in this universe, if all of creation had been observing the baby Adam and Eve who are our ancestors, would all creation have been interested or not? [They would have been interested]
That is because man is the master, the master. If all of the beings of this universe had a heart or mind like man and all would have been interested, how fascinated they would have been. It is so in this world on earth, of course, but if there is a God, and if there is a spirit world, regardless of whom, all of the spirit world and God would have focused their attention on this event. It must have been so.
In that moment when Adam and Eve were born, how intensely they would have focused, and what [tremendous] changes would have taken place because Adam and Eve were born. Within God, what changes would have taken place? For God, it became a time to feel the love of parents. It was an occasion when He felt for the first time, love towards children, the love of a father and a mother. Try to think about that. How would it have been for God who was thinking, "What is the love of a parent like?"
When your wives become pregnant, can you feel what the love of parents is like? There is a world of difference between the few minutes before birth and after the birth. When we see this, we ask, can only God experience the heart of joy, the heart of love toward son and daughter? (No, that's not so) God would have created all things, all existing beings, all things created within the love of God and belonging to Him to experience what is joyful to them. (1978 Jan. 22, Belvedere Training Center)
4) Reason For Being Born Head First
When a man is born, why does the head emerge first? What if the feet come first? The feet? When you look at the earth, do you want to see it with the soles of your feet? Would you want to see it from your head first? As man loves the earth, he keeps pace with it and is born from the head first, while the feet are later set down on the earth. This is to greet the earth. Greetings. As you will set your feet on the earth throughout your life time, you have to give greetings. (Laughing) That is true, but don't you have to greet your parents? You must greet your father and mother. Should you greet them well, or greet them poorly? [Greet them well.]
When you were born, you came out upside down, but when a spirit body leaves, it leaves from the soft spot between the bones at the front part of the head. When a spirit body is born, it is born in the opposite way. That is why we speak about "leaving from the soft spot." (Laughing) A spirit body doesn't appear from the lower half of the mother's body. Where does it come from? (Laughing) From the bottom or the top? Think about it. Where is the part that the spirit body leaves from? It is the opposite, the opposite. It is revived, and it rises. To rise up, it has to give a kick to the body to go up. At that time, the head must give the greetings first as well. When you are born, too. You must give greetings, first. Greetings. (1982 Jan. 22, America)
5) Meaning of the First Cry
Consider this. What kind of a face is a natural face? Is it an upset face, or a sleeping face? What kind of face would it be? If we think about the original, the baby giving its first cry when it is born into this world is the original appearance. This cry, why is it such a loud cry? Why doesn't it laugh "Ha ha ha," but give a loud cry? (Laughter) The breathing itself is done with the whole body. The entire body moves, meaning that everything is exercising. There is no better exercise than this. We look at it as the best exercise.
The first cry is a motion and exercise. After birth, there is no exercise that surpasses this. It is the beginning of new activity within the universe. How wonderful this is? The mother would say then, "You were inside for nine months, how hard it must have been! Go ahead and cry, cry. Stretch out your legs and cry!" What a wonderful thing this is. If a baby doesn't do this, but is still, it cannot breathe. It cannot breathe.
Breathing starts because what was like this (is born) stretches its legs, so that air rushes in "phew!" Do you think it's as I say? I don't know how it's written in the medical books, but from a natural point of view, you could see it as all an aspect of truth. Thinking in this way, the baby's cry is indeed a cry of joy, a cry of the explosion of life.
When a person cries and when he laughs, the body and mind can exercise together. When he laughs, if he does so "Ha ha ha" with just his mouth open, how unsightly it would be. Try laughing like that, "Ha ha ha." When you laugh, all things work together. The nose moves, the eyes, the mouth, the ears all move. Your heart moves, the body moves, everything moves. Do you understand what I mean?
When you laugh, tears come out, and when you cry, tears also come out. Although you're feeling the opposite. Are the two far apart or close? Is it good to cry or bad? Is it a good thing to live a life of tears? (No.) From this perspective, one of the two concepts rises, while the other falls. It separates in that way. How about you? What kind of a face do you like best? [A happy face] What kind of a face is a happy face? What is happiness? All things must be harmonious-you cannot be happy without harmony. "Won," means a circle, and "man" means "full." Here is a circle that is full. There cannot be happiness unless things are that way. From that point of view, everything in the universe moves to fill this circle. (1982 Dec. 1, America)
4. During Infancy
1) Nursing Babies
Do you think the babies are in confinement or in freedom during the nine months that they live in the womb? Freedom you say? With all that bent back and constricted leg movements? Your nose is blocked and your mouth is sealed and you say that's freedom? (Laughter) Try it yourself (Laughter) The cord is attached at the navel for air supply. Think how tough it is to breathe. Pretty tough, don't you think? You can't even stretch your legs and you call that living in freedom?
Being born in this world is about the same as that. The fetus gets its nutrition from its mother, and we do that from our universal mother. Listen to me. See if Reverend Moon is correct by knowing what passes through the umbilical cord. What do we need for survival? Food is necessary for survival but it's not the fundamental necessity, which is love. It's love. Even the pigs show this, and it's quite amazing. The baby pigs look for their mother within ten minutes of their birth. How in the world do they know where the nipples are? They rush there and start suckling with all their gusto. (Laughter)
Now, who taught them? It's all automatic, it's the mystery of give and take in collective life. The mother's love is transmitted through her milk and it goes to a place where it is supposed to go, very exactly. Even in sleep, the pigs know what they are doing. What does that mean? It means we all need automatically internalized education. We are born on the umbilical cord but actually it's the cord of love. We are the fruit of love.
Because every birth is the fruit of love, all parents must give love, which comes to fruition through births. This love connects the individuals, families, tribes, nations, the world, and eventually to God himself. No need for formal education there. Have you ever seen children born to ugly parents who refuse to nurse with them because they are ugly? Even the ugly mother is still the mother. Isn't that so? No one complains when suckling from a nipple, not if one is hungry. That's the mystery, a noble mystery right there.
2) The Task of Nursing
Love is invisible. Love is where God is. So, we respond by saying that only in love does God exist. It makes logical sense. God cannot exist without love. Why? Because man is born through love. God commands us to love because existence is based on love. Now, what is the origin of this idea? The same one -- all things began with love. The eye is created by love for love and follows love. So does the nose, or the cell. People touch for love and seek those they love.
Nothing strange about this, it's the origin of all things. It's love that prompts mother and father to cuddle their baby when he is born with a terrific cry. That's love. They never scold the baby for crying at birth. (Laughter) Love takes care of the dirty baby when he soils and goes to the bathroom. Don't you think? Do they charge the baby five dollars an hour and record in their bankbook? [No] Don't the parents just want to give, and give some more, and some more? So what happens when they just give and give? It is all accepted in the same spirit.
Love occupies an absolute place. Because of this, men and women must bind their relationship in love. The husband must be loyal to his wife to reach this absolute place. It's eternal. It's irreversible. We must stand firm on the principle of love. Now, what happens ultimately? It is 360 degrees and zero, it's God, it's alpha and omega. What happens?
It's the seed of all things. That's what the seed is. What's the conclusion, then? All things belong in the pocket of love. (Demonstrating) What happens when a man and a woman marry? They marry to obtain the seed. When they pursue it they get the embryo. What does it suckle from its parents? It suckles love from its parents. It suckles love from its parents, and it suckles life from its parents. It grows by suckling the body of its parents, by suckling their love and body. That's why these unloving parents in America are violating this fundamental universal principle. They must be punished.
3) Attitudes Toward Nursing
Everybody, do you want to be blessed? Do you want eternal life? You must merit it. Don't educate your children just as your children. You must raise your children to become offerings to humanity. When a mother nurses her baby, she must think of herself as a representative of humanity, who is entrusted with the task. You must love not just your own but someone else's children also. Those children raised with such love will become great leaders. If not now, maybe one or two generations later. This is the truth, it must be.
Whenever I see you nursing your babies I want to ask, "What kind of milk are you nursing your baby with?" I want to ask whether your union was blessed by God's love and connected through your love and your children are being nursed through true love.
4) The Joys of Nursing
I can't forget what my mother told me. When she was little all the uncles and cousins gathered at a wedding and the consensus opinion of all present concluded that the greatest joy in the world was that of raising children, in spite of all its attendant hardships. Why? The milk fills up when the baby gets hungry, did you know that? The discomfort is great when the milk really fills up as the breast becomes very sensitive. Only the mother knows the joys of nursing a hungry baby with a breast filled with milk.
A wonderful feeling follows when the full breast is emptied into the baby. The mother is filled with love when the baby suckles with relish. No one else can experience the whole range of emotions that converges on this act of nursing. People experience a tremendous let down when they marry off all their children, now that they cannot see them any time they want. One cannot just visit the married kids all the time. One misses them, can pray for them, pray for their blessings; that's precious, that's love ... People get old. So, we begin our life with love and end it with love. That's the principle we must follow, that stretches from this earth to high heaven.
5) Mothers' Sacrifice in Love
Parents enjoy even the diaper smell of their babies, just thinking about their happy bubbly babies, just thinking about their happy faces. That's parents' love for their children. Do you know mothers actually taste the feces? Have you done that yourself? You don't qualify to be a mother unless you've done that. Have you tasted feces? No? I have seen my mother taste the feces many times whenever one of her babies was sick. That's why I think the whole world of my mother. Okay, all the mothers here, have you done it? You haven't done it! Try it once. Of course, some of you are too old to have babies. (Laughter)
When you love God, to what limit do you love him? Until you love everything about God. Great hardships don't seem like hardships. The deepest valley can be the source of love. It's wonderful to see mothers stop their work to nurse their babies with milk-filled breasts. Women know the joys of this, but since I am not a woman I have not experienced them. Women are superior in this respect and I prostrate myself before them. Women are greater than men in this respect.
No matter how much I say I love babies, it's only on the surface. Can I feel the nipple being suckled away? How can I feed a baby that suckles away my blood and my fat? Everybody, did you ever like the sensation of being bitten by a blood-sucking mosquito? It's like being struck by lightning. Only love can make such a death-like experience enjoyable.
Without love, can a mother enjoy opening of her breast? No, she can't. Only the mother's love can feel the suckling baby, the peace of the world around her, not just her own person, and can forgive everything and urges the baby on to feed to his heart's content. That's how parents love their children.
You know, in some ways the baby can be looked at as the parents' enemy. A blood-sucking enemy that sucks the blood through the cord. But, mothers feel new hope, new feelings toward their husbands, all through their connection to their babies. There is something exchanged there. That's something no one can understand or control.
When the mother nurses, she gives the baby her flesh, but the flesh must lodge on the father's bone. Otherwise, the flesh will whither to nothing. That's why women's emotional depth is much greater than man's. All things being equal, they say women cry three times to men's one time.
People say, let's live well and let's love. But what is to live well? Live well by quarreling every day? [No] We all know that. The answer is simple. We must live well by loving one another for God. How shall we love one another? This is the issue. Do you hate them or love them when you look at your children? You experienced ladies, answer me. [Love them] How much?
I wish I were an experienced woman on this one. I cannot really tell even though I did a lot of research on the subject. How much? When I watch them nurse, the mother wants to feed more and the baby wants to suckle more ... Why do you feed your babies? Is it because you love them or because you hate them? That's not all. They soil themselves big and small and demand attention all night. They don't care if it's two or three in the morning, they demand to be fed. The mother is dog-tired with backaches and in deep sleep, but she wakes up and feeds the crying baby. Is this from love or hate? [From love] That's love.
Love wants to give more love, never satisfied, and wanting to feed the baby even when the baby is full. One never regrets when love is given away. One feels good when the full breast is suckled flat by the baby. You experienced ladies, do you agree? This is what I have been hearing. Am I right or wrong? I bet I am right.
How can we receive love from God? There is only one love. And therefore there is one method of receiving love. I bet you would want to know about the one method. Wouldn't you? [Yes, we would] It is right between parents and children. Would any parent discriminate among her children in giving them her love? Would she love the first born more than the last born? No parents feed their children differently. They supply flesh and blood to their children. They must supply them to all their children.
Mothers enjoy feeding their babies. Babies enjoy hugging their mothers' necks tight as they nurse. Mothers like the feeling of giving milk. There are no mothers who demand payment for this joy of giving milk. Another interesting thing is that love for babies is just the same even if the mother is ugly with her unattractive eyes, nose, mouth, and cheeks. It's all serious business when it comes to love for their babies. No one wants to be second in loving their babies, no one.
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