Raising Children in God's Will
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
Section 1. The Reason for Sons and Daughters
1. The Most Valuable Being
The problems of teenagers are a worldwide topic today. They are discussed based on ethical considerations, but why do they happen so often? If they stood in the position where they were intoxicated by their parents' love and by love between brothers so that they would die if they didn't see each other, what would happen? If they stood in such a position and still if it happened, let it happen. Does the problem occur or not?
These problems occur because we cannot approach the basic standard of noble values. In other words, it happens because they cannot find the value of the object world. The most valuable thing in the world of human beings is children. Second is husband and wife, and then parents. If you think of the fact that the world of man is full of sorrow, that is a simple riddle. You cannot find it anywhere other than in materialistic and emotional conditions. Seek for it, and you would not find it anywhere else. If you start saying, "Oh, my feelings are hurt, oh, I am so poor," that would violate it.
The last position you can love someone is nowhere other than the position of children, the position of husband and wife, and the position of parents. If so, who should exist first in the heart of parents as the most beloved? Who should be the first one? If you look at the matter centering upon the mother, should the child be first or should the husband be first? How is it in the society? If a loving mother exists, who should be the first one in her mind? Who is it, the child or the husband? This is the problem.
The reason I'm asking you this is, I have decided to talk about it after I've asked the question. The child or the husband? Please answer. [The child] Answer clearly. These matrons may think the child comes first. Those kind of women are those who are despised, abused and treated badly by their husbands. Who should come first? Should you love your husband as you love your child or should you love your child as you love your husband? Ladies and gentlemen please answer this question: if someone were to... The parents must come first. If there are parents and if they bear and raise children, then there would be an object of love. Because of this, if a mother with a child is forced to choose one to die between her husband and child, if she loves her child sincerely, she would choose the husband to die rather than the child. (1971.9.19 at the former headquarters.)
2. Parents as Objective Absolute Beings
If we think of how love was created in the world of human beings, we say, "The ancestors of human beings, Adam and Eve, were a couple, so love must have originated from husband and wife." This can be said about the world of human beings, but how is it about the relationship between man and his ideals? It cannot be other than the father-son relationship. Isn't that true? If you seek love it would lead you to the father-son relationship. So where does love start? It starts from the parents.
God created human beings. God did not create us to play around with. What did he create us for? As an absolute objective being before an ideal absolute being, this is a difficult concept.
A being that can be loved as an objective absolute being, a being that was designed to stand as an object absolute being before the parents is the child. The child appears, that succeeding your (the parents) own life. Next, there is the issue of how much God loved us human beings.
How much did God love humankind? God is an everlasting subject of life; He can't help loving, investing all His life. It would sound strange to say He would love even for His precious life, but he cannot stop loving, investing all his love.
So if God were put in a position where He must die for His own child, what must He do? Should the Supreme Being give up so easily? Would He just walk off, or endure the test? Please answer. What should He do? The absolute God who is the subject of love at last found an absolute son, but if He was put in a position to die for him, would He say, "Oh, I hate to do this, I'll go away" or would He die instead of his son? (Die instead) For what? For us human beings. Human love originates from God's love. God would even die for us human beings. He would go that far. Because of that, how much should we love God? We should love Him even more than our own bodies. (1971.9.19 former headquarters)
Children growing up are a God, a living God. They are trying to connect to the love of a living God through their fathers and mothers. So if you cannot do the same job you have no power to connect to true love. Even I have such times. I give True Mother an explanation and advice in the position of a teacher.
My language and attitudes change at such times. But when the children come home, we must go back to the original state, just as it was. You must not let the children see their parents quarrel. Children without prudence fight all the time, but as they grow older they should learn naturally to know that they should not fight and follow the tradition of their parents. (134-224)
The God of love has created a masterpiece called humankind, so would He leave it and go off somewhere to make and meet a new object? As these mothers here should know, when babies are born, not long after that they start to smile, don't they? They start to smile after 3 months or so. So if the baby smiles its first smile, a women even forgets to eat and she would surely announce it to her husband. Isn't that true? She would say joyfully, "Honey, our baby smiled."
That is the sort of thing you tell to someone closest to you. And after the husband has heard it, would he be happy or upset? (He would be happy.) That it how it is.
The more God saw Adam and Eve the more He adored them, so how would He feel, happy or not? He must have been happy, right? Even if they stood still like a stone when God was angry, still God was happy with them. Even if Adam and Eve looked upset, still they gave God joy.
Having children is like that. When Adam and Eve cried, saying they hated everything, God still loved them. God would even dance around in joy. Why is that? When they talked in a way that drove God crazy, if God nods they would too.
If God puts some thing in their hands they would hold it tight, and seeing all this God will go crazy with delight. If some artist's sculpture receives the president's award, people gather around to see it displayed, don't they?
Even a curved stone is made such fuss of by crowds, so if your work of art talks and even speaks of your own wish, you cannot go anywhere and leave it, can you? You would miss it, and how wonderful it seems.
Ladies, don't your babies seem so wonderful the more you took at them? If it doesn't seem wonderful, you are not doing your job as a mother. When a baby wakes from its sleep and cries for milk, would the mother rush to it feeling glad to see it, or feeling upset? She goes to the baby in contentment to see it. And then she opens her breast and plugs in the "hose of life" for her baby.
Isn't that so? When the baby drinks its mother's milk, would the mother feel glad or not? She feels satisfied. Even we humans are like this, so how would have God felt looking at Adam and Eve? God must have felt a hundred times, a thousand times, ten thousand times, a hundred million times happier than ordinary people raising children.
God loved Adam and Eve more than you can imagine. Did you know this or not? How much would have God have loved Adam and Eve if he loved them so dearly? If God laughs once the whole universe laughs. When God dances the whole universe dances. Must He not do so? Who would speak badly of Him? When the father feels bliss, looking at him would the son cry or be happy just like his father? (Feel happy.) Therefore, the happier the father feels, so does his son, and dancing in joy would not be a problem at all.
When we look at it from this viewpoint, the conclusion is that there is no object for God other than human beings. Do you understand? He would not feet happiness without human beings.
So that is why humans are the objective absolute being before the absolute being. That is the way it is.
3. Children are the Center of Hope
When Adam and Eve reach completion, what is the age of completion? When we become centered upon love, that is completion. I think you understand the meaning of this. When Adam and Eve become one, when they reach the stage where they can love each other, everything is understood. You can go over there and love, come over here and love, you can go between these two and love.
Now then, where is the point that God, Adam and Eve can rejoice the most? In this world of creation, in this ideal world of creation centering upon love, where is the point where you can feel delight, like a fruit being picked? The point which God, Adam and Eve can be happy all together is the children.
If so, what is God's greatest purpose? (Children) Isn't it Adam and Eve? (No) What is it? (It is the children.) So why must it be the children? Why do you love your sons and daughters? How are you going to answer this question? Mothers and fathers fight with each other but they are happy after having a son.
They might find fault with each other, but after having a baby they love each other. Why is that? Why does the couple fight but still love their son? At times they argue. They must come to hate their sons and daughters as well, but why do they still love them? Because they are the center of God's hope and their fathers and mothers. A peak of hope, you must know they are the peak of hope.
The hope of what? The hope of heaven on earth, heaven in heaven, starts from here. That is why God and parents and children all can be happy in this position, every one of them.
So that is why parents cannot help loving their children, forgetting about themselves. Even if the husband and wife really love each other, which couple would be happier, a couple with children or without children? If you have no children that's incomplete work. An incomplete couple, isn't this so?
4. The Greatest Prize in the Universe
You can say the same thing about the children. Maybe you don't understand since you have never fought, even giving your life up for your children, but God has lived thousands of years and sacrificed many ancestors to find one family and your sons and daughters were found like a candle of hope through this one family. If you recognize that sons and daughters bring each family a unification point of divine purpose called the four position foundation, you must appreciate your sons and daughters more as time passes. If parents have that kind of heart, the children would never starve to death. (33-177)
Isn't it wonderful to sleep and awake in the morning, work together your whole life with your dear husband? If you live with that kind of love, then even if you have to live alone that is no problem. The universe never invades such a love. It is in the position to gain common assistance from the universe, so the heaven and earth always protect it. So we must conclude that a person centered upon this love is not a person of misery at all, whether in this world and even in the life after.
Now then, we must give these two people in the universe, who became one in love like this, a prize, but what is that prize? It is the children. Do you understand? What is the biggest award in the whole universe? It is not becoming President. It is not getting a Ph.D. or winning the Nobel Prize. It is sons and daughters who can be born between a loving husband and wife. You should understand that there is no grater prize. That is why sons and daughter are so precious. You want to love them more than yourself, more than your husband. They have such power. (129-56)
5. Children are the Fruit of More than Love and Life
Why do you love? (For your children.) I want to ask you one question. There were God, Adam, Eve and their child, but why was God so eager for the child rather than Adam and Eve? When you hear this kind of story, there are people who think, "Oh, that sounds strange. Your partner must be the best. Why does Rev. Moon speak of children?" Nobody asks this kind of question.
Now if you look at this pattern, parents and children are vertical, and husband and wife are horizontal. But I said children are more important, and why is that? (Writing on the board) Now it is understood. Husband and wife meet through love but for what purpose do they meet? (For the child) Here, when men and women come close, from here sons and daughters of hope come out, and at this time God's wish is granted. That is why God's purpose is children; Adam and Eve's purpose is children. Everything is for this purpose. (118-229)
So, let's take our mother and father for example and talk about it once again. In order to be born through your mother and father, first love between your mother and father must blossom.
An object relationship towards each other must be set up. And then in that environment of love, the harmonizing point of life, life should be connected. The husband and wife should not dislike each other, and they must be ideal. So a couple's love is established, when they become one through love like this. The husband's love is my love, the husband's life 'is my life and the husband's ideal would be my ideal.
On the other hand, it is the same with the wife's love, life, and ideals. So at this point, where all becomes one unified position, is the child. That is why the child is the fruit of the father and mother's establishment and investment. They are the mother and father's extension of life. Also, they are the embodiment of the ideal of their father and mother. Those of you who have loved and borne children would know. You would say to your dear son, "This is the substance of my love, an extension of my life, the embodiment of my ideal. It is the second me." From the start the children are born with love and life and an idealistic base. The more the parents look at them the more lovely they seem, the more they stir life, and appear to be an ideal object. (169-79)
So then why do we need God's love? God and I are in a father-son relationship centered upon God. We must go forward to the position of God's son. We need the deep heart of father-son. The father-son relationship is the greatest secret position in the universe. The greatest secret position. The child is the first base where the love of parents can be connected. In other words, the child comes as a fruit of the beginning of the parents' ideal.
That is why children are the fruit of love, life and ideals, and the second object that can be connected directly to the parent. Other than the father-son relationship, no relationship, not a couple nor brothers, nor any kind of friend is allowed. In the universe, only the father-son relationship exists. If you look at this at this viewpoint, God and I, the father-son relationship is the vertical center, the core content made visible. This is really amazing. If, in any case, this was to be actualized, there would be no problems in the universe. Absolutely no problems. You ought to know this. (69-186)
6. Children are the Object of Parents Delight
Originally the ancestors of human beings should have completely united with God, centering upon God and His heart and love. And because God created heaven and earth to complete the purpose of His heart, he had to transfer, with this object of heart, heaven, earth and all things, to his dear sons and daughters centered upon love. Since God did not create heaven, earth and all things for Himself, but for Adam and Eve, joy could not rise from Himself but from Adam and Eve. Ladies and gentlemen, don't all parents in the world look at their children and rejoice? Delight is only found through an object.
When is God most happy? Please think. To restore the whole world today and when He has completed the restoration, that would be his happiest time. These unmarried men and women here -- those of you who have not been married and raised children would not know, but those people who are parents would surely understand. If parents expect their first baby, they would pour all their love and sincerity into the baby. You will never know the joy of holding a baby in your arms unless you become a parent. Would the mothers and fathers want to show off the baby or not?
Now, when we look at it this way, what is the most valuable thing in the universe? In other words, what would be the most valuable thing for God and Adam and Eve? (The children) Yes, that's the answer. For Adam and Eve, the most precious thing is not money, or any thing else, but their sons and daughters. Their dear sons and daughters. (92-216)
Today, when you look at the mothers and fathers of this fallen human world, even though there is a saying that it is foolish to boast of your children, carrying around a homely looking baby, they would say, "Even his face is so unique." That is no mystery. These parents here with children would know. Even if the parents have scars on their face, and even if they are tough looking and their baby looks more like a gang member, still they would hold their son and would say to him. "Oh, my sweetheart."
Ladies and Gentlemen, what are the most precious things out of all the valuable things in the whole world? Well, when you look at the world today, people don't even know if God exists or not; so leaving God alone for now, what is the rarest thing in the world? Just look for the most precious thing. "The children?" The children. What comes next? Your husband or your wife, your spouse. What comes after that? Parents. There isn't anything more precious. To people who do not recognize the value of this, everything seems meaningless.
7. Children are the Companion of Their Parents for Life
Love is the most important thing to a man, but what is love worth if it changes? It should not change. It must be everlasting, absolute, and unchanging.
When you look at it from this viewpoint, how can mothers and fathers not help loving their children? They cannot help loving. They must go forward to a position where they can recognize their children as their own point of life. Why is that? See for yourselves. You must understand that our sons and daughters are the companions of love. Do you understand what this means? Where do sons and daughters come from? They come from their parents' love. That is why sons and daughters start to accompany us at the point where, in this world of existence, their parents unite in love. Do you understand this? When you say, where is my starting point, where did I come from, you were born at the very place where your parents' love blossoms to the greatest degree. You were born at a place where the flowers bloom with ideal beauty, not only with beauty, but with a fragrance which God, your parents and the whole universe loves.
So who was the one sewed as one oat seed? At the very place of father's and mother's joy, who was born as a man or woman as a synthesizer of the universe? The children. Even though you are an old man or woman, you are the power of life sewn in the fragrance of the blossom of your parents' love. Isn't that great? It's great? So we find a theory that says such a place where among such blossoms of life, the fruit of love is sewn must be a place which the whole universe solemnly watches.
The explanation of this is, if God's love exists, life starts from a place where you can accompany God's love. Also, if there is parents' love or love between husband and wife, life holds a supreme right to accompany that love. That is why man was designed to begin centered upon this love of constancy and unity, having this kind common content and affinity. So can you cut off such a relationship between parents and children? You cannot. How can you? Because they are the subject of your life and love, cutting this relationship off means denying yourself and your love, so you can never deny this first love. So parents can even give their own life up for their children. We found this theory. Is it understood? [Yes.] (83-162)
You have children. What are they? We people are the children of God. Sons and daughters are born from their parents' love. That is love, isn't it? So, you attended the very place of your parents' love. That is why it has value. The value is right there. You are an attendant of love. Do you understand? Your life is an accompaniment of your parents' love.
Can you cut that kind of connection with your own power? [No, you can't.] That is why you must know sons and daughters are proud beings who cherish life within their parents' love. (105-75)
To give an explanation of the child: he is the one who has the right to attend the love, which holds the universe together, like an adhesive. It is like, "I know now what all of mom's and dad's love was." Since you are at the root of father and mother's love, you have the right to pull your parents along where ever you go. Isn't it so? That is what sons and daughters are like. Do you act like this? That is why if there is anything wrong with the daughter, mothers and fathers would say, "Where is she?" and if the son is missing the parents will look for him. Why? Since there is this adhesive agent of heavenly principle, it can never be cut off. It only stretches. Nobody can cut it off. (83-216)
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