Raising Children in God's Will
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
Section 2. Formation of the True Family and Lineage [Part 1]
1. A Family Needs Three Generations
Do you like a complicated thing or a simple one? [We like a simple one.] Really, you like a simple family? [Yes] Then, where has what I said lead to?
I mean, let's live together with our grandfather, grandmother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and grandchildren. Centered on what? Three generations of Formation, Growth, and Completion can settle down in a family, being centered on the center. What does it mean? It means that you can love God when you love not only your father and mother but also grandparents. When you put grandfather above father and mother's position, then you can love God.
Then, why do we need a husband? Why do we need parents? Why do we need sons and daughters? It's just because we can't serve God without them. That's why we need them. It is the principal that we need to have parents, sons and daughters. Now, what does this mean? One, two, three, one, two, three (speaking while writing on the board) Here is the center with an angle of 90 degrees. An angle of 90 degrees should be fit for it. These are all the same. So is the Center.
Now we understand why we need three generations. Do you need parents? [Yes] Then, do you need a husband and a wife? [Yes] You need a baby? [Yes] Why do you need them? From this, the theory must be reasonable, that we need parents, a husband and children, in order to make a relationship with God and the very good center as well.
We have to surely know why we need parents, a spouse, and children. You should know that by all means. You are bound to go up and down, to the center and side, to every direction. Even grandchildren can't help going to these directions.
When you act toward your grandfather with love, then he may say, "Good, good." You know this fact? [Yes] So you should know that it is a really surprising thing that the Unification Church has trained people how to build this type of family, which is centered on original love, in order to realize the original world which has not come true yet. (128-17)
There should be parents, a husband and a wife and child in a family. Then, the family becomes a foundation of happiness. The reason that God has sought human beings is to seek His own happiness.
So in order for God to seek such a foundation of happiness, He cannot achieve the ideal if He were away from human beings. When God makes a relationship with people, then He can achieve it. Just as we feel happiness in the family where there are all kinds of emotions and sentiments, so God can feel that in that place. (132-198)
We need to feel and face each other. Therefore, we are absolutely in need of a wife and a husband as well as the young and the old. Thus, we have made a common shape, regardless of what others say. What would our future be like, if we say we don't need the old? When you neglect the old, then the nationality of your country may disappear. You understand that? From the viewpoint of racial traditions, if you would dislike the old, you would become a traitor to your racial traits.
By the way, children deny their parents, and even ethics and morality these days. It will be the Last Days when people deny ethics and morality. Our Unification Church members shouldn't do so. And we shouldn't dance to the tune of current thought. The Unification Church has to make firm human relationships, which are really positive and upright forever. Parents, children and teachers, all of them, should make relationships with others respectively. So young people by themselves cannot make it perfect. Without exception, God also needs the old people in order to establish and fulfill His Will.
Therefore we must look upon the old as very important. Hereafter, you will set out to do this kind of work, centering on Rev. Moon. We need adults, sons and daughters, all members of a family in working for God. (21-120)
Is it true that a lot of grandchildren and daughters-in-law hate to see the cane which grandparents are carrying with them. Why? Does it mean that they may wish the grandparents an early death? However, good grandchildren and daughters-in-law who have a lovely mind and heart may think, "Oh God, when the cane disappears someday, I will be drenched in tears." Then, are they good or bad? Which one? [They are good daughters-in-law and grandchildren] What about all of you, then? You want to just manage to get along, without being serious, don't you?
These people don't have the proper direction of life and can't find the center in life at all. (184-270)
These days, the basic foundation of family ethics is being shaken. So far, those who believe in religion have thought that it's not good to get married.
But we have to sing in praise of the great divinity of marriage. The way for a man and woman to love each other will be built through their marriage life.
Thus, they can become one. Then who are man and the woman supposed to take after? That is God. Only when they become one, can they resemble God who made the man and the woman from His external image. Then, God can be together within them.
The power of the universe is like this. Why does a wife cry over her husband's death? Well, we can think, "death is just death He died because he did not want to eat meals? (Laughter) Death, it's just nothing but to be all over. Then, why do people cry for that? You have to know this point. When you don't have any sons and daughters, what makes you cry and be sad? The point is that you should be fully equipped with all the constituent family members. That's the basic principle of the universe.
Therefore, we can say that the existence-power of the universe is composed of power and will to advance the object's ideal. For this reason, they all can have give and take with each other. For instance, the South and the North can have give and take with each other, can't they? Just as the South Pole and the North Pole create give and take action, so one star and another star can do so. Nothing can exist without its counterpart. Such an ideally unified being which has perfect give and take action can deserve the support of the universe.
It means that in order for this type of unified being to remain, heavenly fortune should come around it. Then, everything cooperates for such a being. That's how the principle works. Also, we absolutely need sons and daughters. Nowadays, Western society has been filled with the way of thinking that there is no need for children. But just see if they really will not need any children later. You may understand why you need children, if you go to the spiritual world. The place where you are standing has an upside and a downside at the same time. It means that our existence is bound to pass through three numeric stages.
Everything is made up of three stages. Three stages! There should be parents, a husband and a wife, and children in these three stages. None can run counter to this Heavenly Principle. If you divide the stages into three parts, there are three stages of man and three stages of woman. If these are added up, three numeric stages can be formed and thus the ideal world comes true. Speaking of something ideal, it means that there must be a grandfather and a grandmother, a father, a mother, and yourselves. The family ethics of the Unification Church originate from this ideal. (70-76)
What is Heaven? Heaven is where one can love others just like his family members. Also it is the heavenly people who do so. Grandfather and grandmother, mother and father, his wife, brother and sister, and children! What do these four generations mean? A family is just like a textbook where heavenly people can experience a perfect love, the true love of the universe. We all have to understand that a family is like a textbook that teaches you what the cornerstone of your life is. (129-98)
What is the Satan like? What is Satan? Here! Let's see what Satan is. We need to know what kind of fellow this Satan is. In other words, we should understand how in the world Satan is so bad.
Look! There is one family. How many generations usually live together in one family? [Three generations] Three generations or four generations? Which one? There are a grandfather, a father and you. They are three generations. By the way, there can be a great-grandfather. So there are four generations living together in one family. Thus, we should know that four generations can live together. Is that right? If there are over four generations in a family, there are eighty years total, when we count 20 years for one generation.
Considering it in this light, where shall the people before these generations go and live? They shall go to the spiritual world.
By what should a family on the earth live? By money or by power? What matters is what we have to live by. [We should live by love.] (124-138)
2. The Family is the Unchanging Pillar of the Family
What is an unchangeable thing? These days man and woman love each other and get married; nevertheless, the marriage is still changeable. Is the love of father and mother also changeable? Even parental love toward children may be changeable, but it may be less changeable than the other is. If we seek one thing in common which is not changeable among every changeable thing around our human world, that is mother's love. A mother loves a child more than the father does, doesn't she? Of course, we should be aware that the father is the center of love. Where does the origin of love and life come from? The origin of life doesn't come from the mother. The mother can be compared to flesh and father can be like bone. After taking something from the father, then the mother can have a child. This is why we have to think of father and mother. No shape can be formed without bone.
So if there is an unchanged person in a family, that one must be the father. You may be afraid of your father, aren't you? Father is somewhat hard to access. Also he usually is inclined not to act rashly but goes in an orderly way to keep his position and dignity. But the mother is not like that. Although the father makes so many turns in one place, he will keep his position like a pole holds its place. Don't you think so?
Some time ago I went to Chung Pyung and saw a turbine and generator turning. And I found that the shaft, which connects both side-parts is very thick. It can make 450 turns in one minute. When I saw it turning, it looked as if it didn't move. In the same manner, the mother makes turns, centering on the father. Because of her turning, she can be changeable. If she goes to the East, she forms the shape of the East; if she makes turns to the West, she makes the shape of the West. In the same way, she does so toward the South and the North.
For this reason, when we look for a person who is not changeable, that one is the grandfather. Then who do you think will be the next one? The grandmother or the father? [It's the father] Well, you knew that. Who is the next, then? It's the grandson, the son of a father. All of them are male. You had better not talk about all these secret things to women, because a woman is changeable. In talking about something secret, when the mother is around them, the husband and the son may say, (Mother, could you stay out for a moment?" (Laughter) It indicates what oriental philosophy is.
For some important matter, it is not the father and mother but the father and son who are supposed to talk about that. Who knows if she would be false to her husband and get married again? (Laughter) It might be somewhat OK if she married a king, but what if she got married to an enemy? You don't think so? It means that you have to consult with the grandfather and father about an important matter. Why do we have to do so? That's because they are unchangeable beings. Something important requires something unchangeable. The subject, which is never changeable is eternally valuable. That's the way it is. (141-280)
What is the center of a family? That's the parents. Then why is it the parents? It's because the parents exist and live for the sake of all the members of the family. Does that mean that parents are unique beings? It means parents are the sole central beings which are absolute, unchanging and everlasting.
Now we have learned the fact that it is the parents who have such an unchangeable volume of love within themselves. There is a cloth which wraps any diamond or gold. Is the wrapping cloth valuable or not? The cloth may have an equal value to a diamond, if it is used to wrap a diamond. From this point of view, we have understood how valuable parents are. Once more, we have to keep in mind how precious the parents are who have an unchanging, limitlessly valuable love. Have you ever thought of parents in that view? The word "unique" or unique parents, comes from this view. Parents are unique, unchanging and eternal, from whom all these concepts come. That's what parents are. True or wrong? Yes, it's true. Parents can be changeable? [No]
After all, even if any revolution breaks out, we can not revolutionize love. So the origin of this love will remain for good. And such parents, as the subjects of love, must need you absolutely, continuously and permanently. (74-19)
Have parents ever been taught how to love their children? Here, ladies! You have a baby and you love it. Then, have you ever learned how to love the baby? Is there any elementary, middle, high school, or a university teaching love? Is there any need and use of a bachelor's or doctor's degree in loving a baby? No conditions are needed for this love but a perfect standard of love, which everyone wants to reach. The less one feels love toward children, the more he wants to make efforts to love them, even to the extent of 100% love. Right?
A perfect thing needs nothing more to make it better and it needs no more learning for it. The perfect thing is the thing that one doesn't have to add to or subtract from any more. Accordingly, it is something unchanging and eternal. (38-227)
What in the world are parents? There may be a son who is a world champion in both physical force and brain power. And he may think his parents are a big problem in his life. Then he might want to go back on his parents and do as he likes. But why couldn't he do so? You have to know this point. He can do as he pleases because he thinks he is the best in force and brains. Where does the origin of love come from? From yourselves? [From parents] The origin of love is not yourselves but parents. There is no result without cause. Understand that? One knows he is not the subject, from the light of love. So he shall not do as he pleases. That's why children say, "Yes, mother; yes, father" in front of their parents. So when your parents say, "You may be famous and have authority in the world, but in front of your parents you should be reasonable," then the children can answer like this, "Yes, yes, yes, mother and father." Why? Because there is love between them. While parents are the subject, children are the object. Can you understand this?
It is the principle that the subject should take care of the object and the object should obey the subject. When this order is destroyed, a family will lose its value. However stupid a person may be, since he was born with the original mind, he would know that this is the heavenly principle. Therefore, no matter how powerful he may be, he has to bow toward his parents. Am I wrong? [No] (50-135)
The human world has kept fighting continually, resorting to force and knowledge. But the time hasn't come yet to have a fight of love and with love. Religious leaders say that when the Last Days come, their time will come. The power of the sword and the pen would have disappeared. The only thing that will remain is the power of love.
Such a final age of hegemony is the Last Days. One day a physically stronger elder brother comes home, but can he act as the boss? That's possible or impossible? No matter how strong he may be, that's impossible. He may be a champion in the ring, but not in the family. Understand that? Is it possible? [No] Why? Because there are parents in the family. (50-135)
3. The Grandfather's Position is that of God
The grandfather is the man who has love. When husband and wife, sons and daughters or grandchildren have words with each other, grandparents with heartfelt love dissuade them from fighting, saying, "Please don't do that any more," as if they were servants. Thus they encourage their offspring, saying, "You are excellent, better than we are." You've got to know that the most serving person with love is the grandfather. When the wife grumbles for something, the husband says, "All right, honey, I will get you what you want."
Well, what is the conclusion? It is that the follower of love in a servant's position has the most surprising and greatest authority in the universe. It is the philosophy of God, Rev. Moon and the Moonies. That's the conclusion. (135-122)
In an American family, the grandfather makes a phone call in advance before he visits his son's house. Do you think it's a good thing? See, imagine there is a daughter-in-law who wants to give more to her grandparents than to her husband. How lovely she is! Then, she can inherit all things of love from her grandparents.
Well, who is the oldest grandfather in the world? [God] Right. (Laughter) We learn how to love God through our love toward our physical grandfather. We can have all the lovely and secret treasures of God through this tradition. How wonderful it is! (107-329)
From this point of view, when you hear your grandfather coughing, do you think in your mind, "Damn, the old man should go to the other world" or, "I like it?" As they get older, old men don't sleep too much. Just think about that. So we'd better think, "Our grandfather is like God, protecting us without sleeping too much!" When he gets much older, his puckered lips just tell of his aging. So you have to obey absolutely what he says. Now you may know how beautiful that is. You will not have any break-ins, any fires in your house, when you are serving and living together with your grandparents. You should remember this.
What do you think they are doing without sleeping then? They pray, "May God bless my children." Through prayer, God tells them what to say to their children, "Hey son, you need to watch out, when you go out; please listen to me." "Don't go out today! Don't quarrel with others. Don't go out too far today." That's how they teach their children. (Laughter)
Accordingly, do grandchildren need such grandparents or not? With love, happiness can come down to all of the grandparents, father and mother, brothers and sisters so that they can dance with their all heart. (107-327)
When parents send their children someplace, they have to get permission from the grandparents. Parents can't do as they please, because grandparents are in the position of God. Do you understand what I am saying? From the light of the American way of thinking, it's hard to accept and understand. When parents go out somewhere, children may beg, saying, "I want to go with you." Then, it's hard to say, "No, you can't." (107-326)
4. The Order in the Human World
What is the human world composed of? There is an order in the world. That is to say, there is an order among grandparents, parents and children. What matters is how well they all get along. We believe it is the best thing that all of them become unified into one.
What is the most valuable and precious thing in human beings? That is not something external, but something internal. For this reason, we ought to seek and establish a good relationship with people in the world of the object and with our inner self, good grandparents, good parents, good brothers and sisters, and a good couple. (161-314)
Teenagers these days, when are given something by their mother, they are not willing to take it. (Laughter) Even some parents, in order for them to go out for fun or pleasure, let their children stay in a room tied up. Do you like such parents? In reality there are many parents like that. We've got to know that there are lots of men who are worse than animals.
Why do we, human beings, need to understand what the concept of family is? There are four types of people in the world: they are in the position of grandparents, parents, husband and wife, and children. Yes or no? [Yes] The concept is that a family is a textbook and the Bible is given to all the people in the world in order to lead them to be Heavenly people.
Then, who is supposed to establish the order and rank in the family? The person who serves the family more and knows the family better will be in charge of the family. This order is not against the democratic doctrine. Then, who should be the center of the family? [Grandparents] That's right. It's the grandparents. Is that wrong? [No] Why? Because they are aware of the whole. So we can say the grandfather is the king of the family. Right? As your grandfather himself feels too old and hands over his authority to his son, then finally your father becomes the center of the family.
Later, if your father hands his authority down to you, you also can be the center of the family. This inheritance will be continuous, from grandparent to parents, from parents to children, from children to their descendants. That's how our tradition can be established. Accordingly we have to know that this tradition ought to be the principle of a family system representing the universe.
But there has been no such God-accepting family since the fall of man. So God has made efforts to build again this ideal family by establishing religions, passing through a complicated and tough course in human history.
Seen from this historical background, the fact is that it is the Unification Church that starts the ideal family-making movement in the name of God for the first time in history. (130-269)
Just as one loves his children, parents and grandparents, so he has to love other children, parents and grandparents in his neighborhood. There we can form relationships in every direction. That's the way it is. Understand? There can't occur the heavenly principle centered on a vertical standard of heart without forming these relationships. So I want to say, "Let's put that in practice." That's why we can say that the Unification Church is building the ideal family because we are practicing it to make it come true.
Then, what do you have to do in this vertical center? You have to make it again on a horizontal level. That's what you have to do. So you can't help loving grandparents. Well, I will also become a grandfather soon. [Yes] Yes, I will be a grandfather. So will you. It goes the same way. You are born as a son or a daughter, get married, become parents and grandparents. That's our life. That's the official course of our life, You have to accept and love these facts, otherwise you run counter to the Heavenly Principle. That's how it goes. You understand? [Yes]
Basically if we do not fix these relationships, there will be no way to put the world in order. If you go to a Western society, you may feel that the old people there are poor. You may not know how much they miss and envy Eastern customs. They might say to themselves, "The Eastern people serve their grandparents like God, always consulting with their seventy or eighty-year old parents about whatever in order to make any decision. How good it is!"
Who is the oldest grandfather? Isn't it God? Also, who is the youngest? It's also God Himself God is older than a grandfather and younger than a baby, so in order for us to love God, we have to love the whole man. Do you understand? When it comes to age, God may be the oldest and youngest.
When you say that you love God, it should mean you have to love your neighborhood, the people around you, and even people in the spiritual world who passed away in history. That is logical. (70-152)
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