Blessing and Ideal Family Part 2
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
1) True Parents and True Children
Parents exist for children. If parents existed for themselves, the word "parent" wouldn't exist. From now on all moral principles will be formed centering upon the Unification Principle. How should parents exist? Parents who gave birth to children should exist for the children. That's the moral principle number one. No explanation is needed for that. To exist for the son is not something unhappy, but is something happy.
Parents sacrifice themselves for the children because they want to return to God through the children. In loving children, people experience parental love and, furthermore, they feel God's love. This is the work of the original mind. People without children cannot experience God's love as well because of the absence of parental love. That's why such people's love is imperfect.
Parents want to give children their favorite thing first. Sometimes they cannot give it even though they want to, because the children don't know how to manage it. If it is given, the receiver will be hurt. If a very sharp knife is given to a person who is not ready to use it, it will destroy the person, his family and the public. That's why parents should not give things at random. Parents always want to give the best things to the children. You should understand this position of parents and willingly go out witnessing before being told to.
No parents teach children something wrong. It is possible for a teacher to teach something wrong. If a teacher is the students' enemy, he will teach wrong things. There are two kinds of teachers and two kinds of brothers. But there is only one kind of parents. Even evil people teach their children right.
Which is the good parent among the following three? The first says, "Study in order to give good fortune to your poor parents." The second says, "Study for your brothers and your family." The third says, "Study to fight for your nation." The third one who tells the child to be loyal to the nation is surely the best parent.
What about a parent saying, "Follow the way of the saints who tried to save the world in spite of losing their lives"? Of course the fourth one who asks the child to sacrifice for the world is the better parent than the third one. The Unification Church has this clear standard.
To whom do you belong? You belong to your parents and your child. To whom do the parents belong? They belong to the child and to God.
Therefore, first you belong to God and then you belong to your child. After everything entailed in that, finally you belong to you. When you become like that, you'll be perfect. That's why the moral principle to respect parents still remains on earth and in human life. From this concept, derive respect for your parents and love for your child.
A person without parents is an orphan. When a person has the experience of receiving parental love and of loving children, he or she is able to distinguish the "four directions" and "up and down."
You were born of your parents, so your parents were the first ones to whom you could speak. Your first sound was "daddy and mommy." "Dad and mom" which I am mentioning now are the names that human beings called from the original position a long time ago. It is interesting. Call daddy and mommy thousands of times. Examine the taste of "daddy and mommy." The taste is infinite. When you call daddy and mommy, they answer right away because subject and object are structured like that.
Whom do you like better, your spouse or your children? You like your children better than your spouse. A couple can separate from each other but they cannot separate from their children. Even though you take your son out of your inheritance, you cannot truly separate from him because of the blood lineage. After a bride and a bridegroom divorce, they can forget each other, but they miss their children more and more as time goes by. Anyone who has children can understand this feeling. Parents living in the satanic dominion must admit at least this fact. That's why God loves His sons and daughters.
The reason for the marriage of Unification Church members is not to meet their bride or bridegroom but to establish the four position foundation centering upon Father. The parent and child relationship is more important than the husband and wife relationship. Even after the marriage ceremony, a bride and groom can be separated but they can never separate from their children.
Which side is more lucky, children meeting their father or the father meeting his children? Children who meet their father are more lucky. How miserable a father is if his children are big fools.
Heavenly Father looked for His lost children for 6,000 years, and finally He found them enduring suffering upon suffering. How would He feel to look at the children who are impure and worth, less? Do you have confidence not to disappoint Heavenly Father, who has been looking for you with His cross of suffering for 6,000 years? Do you have confidence not to make Him say, "It would be much better if I hadn't found you"?
Blessed families should set up the family tradition before having children. Make sincere and serious effort to do that before giving birth to a child. Your children will be able to say, "My parents are the best among all parents." If you are lacking externally, you should create your authority in some unique field.
Your children should be able to say, "Our parents are the best in the whole cosmos."
The name true parents is for the ones who love children. They should be able to receive praise from the spirit world for their suffering and for their loving children. True parents eventually let their children suffer to love humankind. Then they become the historical owner. Your children should be God's children and the children of the universe, and they should be able to grasp the inheritance of love. Then finally God is to be liberated from His agony.
How should a father be! He should be the best friend among friends. When a father appears, his son should jump to his father, even abandoning his friends. A father also should be the teacher of teachers. And then he is to be the center of heart.
A father is to be considered the one next to God and the one surpassing the president. Children should think of their father as their best friend and the best teacher, whom they would never exchange with any other friends or teachers. And they should be able to say, "I would rather abandon my loving wife than abandon my father."
Our Ye Jin grew up like her mother. Even though I go home late sometimes, I never forget to kiss her. Children feel something when their father touches. Children need such a feeling. You should create such a tradition in your lifetime.
Father always caresses the sleeping babies' faces when he comes home. It is hard to be good parents. By doing so, a thought is automatically implanted in the children's mind, "I will also love my sons and daughters as our father loves me," and they will come to realize that their father is the best in the whole world.
Children should be able to sing songs of yearning for father when they are away from home.
When coming back from outside, if its mother is not at home, even though older brothers and sisters greet joyfully, the little child asks, "Is nobody at home?" Because mother is absent, the kindness and joy of brothers and sisters is not enough. In other words, mother is the subject. Because the center of love, the central axis, is mother, babies are satisfied only when mother is with them.
Did you want your spouse to be better than you, or not? Everybody answers the same. People want their spouse to be better than themselves. No parents want their children to be worse than they are.
Even though a handsome man and a beautiful woman give birth to a very ugly firstborn, when people exclaim that their baby is more beautiful than its parents, the couple will be extremely happy.
People want to have a great son. Then how can we educate someone to be great? Some people may say that we can educate children from kindergarten to the best university. But education is to continue through the entire lifetime. When parents train their children their focus should be on how to make mental unity and how to bequeath the heartistic bond to them. This is a common practice.
When a child is better than its parents, they feel happiness. That's why a woman who gave birth to a child worse than herself is ashamed to enter the spirit world. You should be able to love your sons and daughters more than your parents loved you. When children think according to this pattern, the world of love -- the Kingdom of Heaven -- will be established automatically.
In order for parental love to last eternally, one who can inherit the tradition is necessary. Surely the children are the heirs. We have to educate our children to be the heirs of the tradition. And we need a method to develop the value of the tradition.
Each generation should realize the importance of the existing tradition and develop it for the sake of the future. Such a practice can be initiated in a true family where parents yearn for their children to be better than they. Parents with such a desire continuously will be interested in their children and encourage them. Such parents will try sincerely to create the environment best suited to enable their children to be greater than they. Such parents will sacrifice everything for the happiness of their children and they will even force their children into the direction which leads their children to excel.
What should the response of the children be? Should they say to their parents, "You are a dictator, so I don't like you. Please leave me alone. I don't want you to intervene in my life." Is that the right attitude for the children? Or should they respond, "Father and mother! I realize what your will is. I value your tradition infinitely and try not only to inherit it but to develop it."
When parents present their children as their representatives in order to hand on the family responsibility, they don't want their representatives to be worse than they. Why? Because all parents want their children to be better than they. Likewise the leaders of the nation should want their successors to be better than they. People should want their successors to be better than them in a family or in a nation. This is the prerequisite for eternity to transcend the fluctuation of history.
The wish for children to be better than parents is the condition required of a family. The same concept applies to the nation. The sovereigns of the world have not yet practiced this. They have cut the necks of all the capable men who emerged to succeed them. Such a miserable history has been handed down.
For a nation to flourish, its people should inherit its history. Those who are attracted to older people can inherit history. It is better to bequeath it when they are young. That's why children like the old tales. Because children are the new buds, they naturally receive the historical sap. Loving the old days has to do with this concept.
When babies are crying with their noses running, if we say, "I'll tell you one old tale if you stop crying," they will stop crying. The best time for a baby, next to the time of drinking milk, is the time of listening to the folk tales. It is because they are to inherit history. The principle of the universe is structured like that.
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