Blessing and Ideal Family Part 2
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
6) The Destiny of a Couple
What is marriage? It is to set one's sights upon a common destiny as a couple. It is to pursue the dual destiny, overcoming the individual destiny. Once a man and a woman are bound to one common destiny through marriage, they cannot freely change it by their will.
A man is bound to a man's destiny because he is born as a man; a woman is bound to a woman's destiny because she is born as a woman. No one can deviate from this; there is nothing that we can do about this destiny. Therefore, it is wise for us to follow the given orbit of destiny.
Once you are married, you cannot do whatever you like. You are to follow the destiny of your family at the risk of your life.
When we extend the trajectory of the heartistic road that a man and a woman are to go, it converges in oneness, focused upon God's principled road. That is the ideal point of the settlement of family love, generated by the oneness of man and woman. At first, a man and a woman individually are to find the focal point in which they can settle themselves down in God's heart; then they as a couple should find the settling point of family love by extending the individual focus.
Beginning with the very moment of love, you are one, not two any more. You cannot behave individually but should collectively take responsibility for everything.
A husband and a wife are a pair. Everybody's fortune is as different as everybody's face is different. The destiny of every life course is different. Even though a husband's fortune is bad, it can be changed to the good if the wife's fortune is good. The wife's bad fortune also can be made better by the good fortune of her husband. Therefore, the destiny of a couple is like leveling the land, raising up the valleys and bringing down the mountains. On that fertile ground, the couple can plant trees or plow fields with their common ideal. They can push ahead all varieties of plans on their land. Thinking in this manner, you should not unite centering upon your spouse's external looks. What is at stake in marriage is something very fearful.
When a marriage is not well arranged or accomplished, either the man dies or the woman dies, or both of them die at the same time. Many times we can see such phenomena. This principle functions even in the place of which you are not aware. The prosperity of your generation does not guarantee the prosperity of your future generations. A minimum of three to seven generations should be settled centered upon God. Your spouse may seem unfit for you to your human eyes, but you will realize the truth after making effort to live together for more than three years. Father is teaching about history from the aspect of tradition, so you couples should endeavor to become one.
You are in the same position as Jesus and the Holy Spirit. When you become one centered upon God and try saving others' lives in tears, multiplication will surely take place. Research whether or not this is true. If it does not work this way, my words are a lie. You should be completely one at the risk of your life for the sake of the glory of God's will and of your descendants, and you should establish the foundation upon which you can have give and take with God. When you completely engage in this give and take action, procreation takes place. This is the Principle. Practice this principled life in your substantial household. Because it has not been practiced in our daily lives, we have been stagnating.
Unless you accomplish relational love first, you cannot reach the absolute love of the subject. This destiny was given human beings in the original creation, so when you cannot accomplish the purpose of love, you are bound to bring about a rupture.
The husband's mind and body shouldn't change. Once he promises something, he must keep his promise forever. Otherwise he will be judged in the spirit world not by God, but by his wife. The same applies to the wife. The perfect person is the one who accomplishes oneness of mind and body, oneness with God, and oneness with their spouse.
There is only one love.
There is only one heartistic standard for a couple to establish.
The couple's mind and body should be one forever.
Love is eternal. It is not two but one. Once a man and a woman are bound in love, they are to live one hundred years on earth and eternally in the spirit world. When the two separate physical bodies become one centering upon God and establish the four position foundation of love, the ideal world will be formed. False love cannot invade there, and only true love will dwell there.
Some of the blessed couples may complain about their spouses. They are the ones who do not know God's sorrowful path, which has headed toward the establishment of the Kingdom of Heaven in the future. God knows the difference in standard between you and your spouse. When you keep your heart grateful to God, even though your spouse is not satisfied with you, He will bless you abundantly in the near future. The grateful heart is the absolute condition for receiving God's blessing. We must be the ones with such heart.
During the first three years of marriage, you have a hard time engrafting to your spouse because your family background, habits and etiquette are totally different from your spouse's. They do not fit each other, but you must make a deliberate effort to make them fit.
The wife should be obedient to and supportive of her husband. Of course, it is the husband's responsibility to increase his wife's willingness to do that. The husband should teach the wife how the Principle works. That's why Father thinks that the first three years of married life is the period to discipline the couple to be united with God's will. It takes at least three years for a couple to be one centering upon God.
Give birth to a child after being a parent without any trace of shame, according to God's will and the Principle. Such a family life is the principled form. It is not easy to play the role of a parent; neither is it easy to play the role of a husband or a wife. You have to inherit the tradition of the Unification Church.
Everything that a woman has belongs to others. Therefore, a woman has the responsibility to keep others' belongings well. Think of the woman's breasts, hips and sexual organs! None of them are for a woman's sake.
A woman is in the position of a guest, an errand girl and a servant. She enters the other's house as a servant, goes through the course of an errand girl for her husband and parents-in-law, and finally becomes a queen-the most precious guest. Originally, a woman's voice should sound softer than the voice of an average man. Her voice should be like the whispers of love.
In an Oriental family, the husband even hits his wife to correct her bad habits. An American woman divorces right away if she gets even one fist from her husband, doesn't she? What kind of love is that, which can be abandoned because of one blow? If she is slapped by her husband, a woman with true love weeps, holding her husband's hands. What can you do with love so shallow that it runs away because of one slap? True love makes you risk your life. A woman of true love doesn't abandon her husband even though he does this. I want to make you such a woman. But you know it is really not good for a husband to hit his wife.
What kind of woman do you want to be ? Do you want to be the kind of woman who divorces after being slapped by her husband? Don't you all want to be the women of true love, who can love sacrificing their lives in spite of your husband's misbehavior? Raise your hand if you want to be such a woman. All of the American men want to get married to you if you are such a woman.
What kind of bond do we have? We have the bond which avenges God's lost love.
In order to make a bond of life, a man and a woman should march forward toward world peace. Peace cannot be achieved by only a man or only a woman. It is to be accomplished by the unified power of a man and woman. The way to achieve unity and peace is to rush right into the center. The driving force to rush into the center is the power of love. When your object appears, your mind automatically is to be stimulated to love.
When you are in suffocating agony, nobody can help you get out of that state. Even God cannot do anything for you. But how precious it is to have a horizontal partner who can understand your heart! The partner's shortcomings can be the condition for you to be grateful to God and to mitigate God's burden. When your partner comes up short in every field of life, it can be a good condition for you to show yourself in front of God.
Individual destruction is acceptable but the family shouldn't be destroyed. The wife is the most needed person in the world for her husband and the husband is the most needed person in the world for his wife. You should be each other's walking stick, advising each other.
Whether your partner is good or bad, he or she is your partner. When a husband faces the fate of death, so does his wife. The wife who curses her husband when he is on the verge of death will surely perish. The same applies to the husband.
The subject or object who lives for the sake of his or her partner never perishes. When there is a perfect subject who lives for the sake of others, a perfect object is bound to appear. When there is a perfect object who practices life for the sake of others, a perfect subject will definitely appear. Even though the partner doesn't appear right away, if you don't give up until the end, he or she definitely will come. You have to know this point very clearly. You shouldn't give things up so easily after trying just several days. Once you start something, your mind should determine to persist until death. If you cannot get the direct result in your lifetime, your mind should believe that it will surely come in the following generations. Waiting for generation after generation is not bad, if it is the result of God's plan to give you the worldwide blessing. God will think, "You are a very patient tribe, so wait for ten or twenty generations more. I'll pour the worldwide, historical blessing upon your descendants."
Due to the fall, human beings lost God's love. Without God's love, we have been making human relationships. That's why, even though the original mind is yearning for true love, there is no true love. The false love generated without God's intervention is temporary, covering only the physical life.
The couple happily married on earth may separate when they enter the spirit world. They will surely be separated if their love did not originate in God. The couples who started their love relationship and their family life centering upon God's love will never be separated.
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