Blessing and Ideal Family Part 2
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
5) Conjugal Love
Conjugal love is the oneness of the love of man and the love of woman. Conjugal love is to become one with children's love centering upon parental love and then it can become one with God's love. God's love will dwell where the origin of perfect conjugal love is established.
When a man and a woman are about to explode in love on the foundation of loving God and humankind, God and the universe can claim and possess their family. Where does the root of love exist? It doesn't exist within you. God's love is the origin.
Doves love each other sounding "coo, coo." What about you couples? When people who are in deep love meet each other, the sound will be much bigger than that of thunder.
If we have strong love centered upon God, opposition and persecution from the world will be something interesting to play with. "First love" possesses enormous power, like dynamite. Did Adam and Eve live together without getting married, as is the practice of the young people in this age? True love is the first, the last and the eternal. The mind to pursue such strong idealistic love becomes the driving force to overcome all difficulties. We can win over anything-not only Satan-when we are in love.
To fall is to lose the center of vertical love and horizontal love. That's why conjugal love in the fallen world is so unstable. Conjugal love these days can be turned around 180 degrees by one word. That is the fallen reality. That shows that people don't know where conjugal love should aim. The reason that the world is heading toward destruction is that the order of conjugal love has broken apart.
True love means to love in complete oneness of body, heart and blood lineage. Who can love like that? Only the husband and wife can. In this ideal, is there any taste of life when one is apart from one's spouse?
One's spouse is the most lovely object in the world. The relationship between a couple is just like an echo. Your spouse will sound and behave according to how you sound and behave.
In love, a man doesn't reject a woman even while she is plunging into the depth of his heart. A man likes such a woman. All barriers are broken when one sacrifices and invests everything for the sake of love.
God wants a couple to love each other passionately. In order not to leak any love, which means to love 100%, virgin maidens and bachelors are warned not to touch each other's hands before marriage. When you enter your married life after keeping your virginity, you will be able to love wholeheartedly. Even though a couple is physically far apart, they will find themselves moving toward each other automatically and unconsciously.
Our mind and body are in contradiction. To correct this, first of all, the body in the position of object should be one with the mind in the position of subject. Then we should make the reciprocal base for God to dwell in our mind, which is taking subject position united with the body as object. When a man and a woman who have accomplished this receive the Blessing and live giving and receiving perfect love in joy, they will look like flowers in full bloom. All the harmonized outcomes generated from such loving couples will be like beautiful fragrance to God. God has always longed to live with such beautiful flowers and in such fragrance. God can dwell only in the love of a husband and wife; all things and the universe should be harmonized centering upon that love. The Unification Church is the place for teaching this content.
God's favorite melody is the joyous laughing of a couple in love. When a couple lives with the mind to embrace the whole universe, laughter is produced automatically. Isn't the loving life of a such a couple a beautiful flower in God's sight? This is not a mere ideal or something abstract. I am talking about the original world.
Looking at a mountain, a couple asks, "For whom does this mountain exist?" Their answer is, "It exists for me at the same time as for you." A couple is like this. The way for a couple to be one is for them to accomplish the purpose of the universe, regarding that purpose to be the most significant aspect of life. A couple speaks centered upon mind, personality and love. They are in the same boat, aren't they? When a country-bred lady gets married to a Cabinet minister, people bow down to her as the wife of a Cabinet minister even if she didn't graduate from elementary school. Husband and wife are to go the same way. Within a couple, the wife's love is the husband's love and the husband's love is the wife's love.
The laughter of a husband and wife who are intoxicated in love is relative. The man opens his eyes wide and the woman gently closes her eyes when they laugh. When the husband's eyes get big, get and the wife's eyes get smaller, they become more intoxicated in love.
A couple shouldn't unilaterally desire their spouse's face to remain in a fixed shape. If they remain fixed, each will become really tired of looking at the other. When you look at your spouse with a joyful heart, he or she will look joyful; and when you look at your spouse with a beautiful heart, he or she will look beautiful. Feel your spouse's face anew with every new stimulation.
A husband and wife are happy when they give and receive love with each other. If a man strikes a woman with his fist using physical power, that couple cannot be happy at all. When a man energetically embraces and loves a woman, the woman will feel true happiness. This love cannot be accomplished by energy alone; neither can it be fulfilled by heart alone. When a man confirms his loving heart with physical power, a woman feels complete happiness, and when the woman returns love both physically and spiritually to the man, they can become a truly happy couple.
Human beings always need stimulation. Happiness cannot be established without stimulation. Whenever we are hungry, rice tastes so good and fresh. We can eat the same meal every day with the same relish. Likewise, love always should be fresh and new. The husband and the wife should miss each other more and more, day by day. In order to feel that way we have to research ourselves and God.
What is our favorite thing to do? Is it eating? We feel good when we eat, but it is temporary. If we are full, we can't eat more, even though we are offered the most delicious dishes. But we are never satiated with our lover. The more we see the lover, the more we miss him or her. In this way, lovers make a circle of love. Unification takes place right there.
Prior to marriage, a girt doesn't feel the necessity of a man. But once she gets caught by love in married life, she cannot bear to be without him. Owing to love, she realizes that her husband is much more precious than herself.
True joyfulness can be generated in a family only if they center their love upon God and they can see the joyous God. Originally, making love is not something of which to be ashamed. It is supposed to be the noblest, holiest and most beautiful thing. Because the human ancestors committed a sin of love, the history of love has flowed in a shameful direction.
Who could see Adam and Eve dancing naked in the Garden of Eden? Should we worry if a couple dances naked in their private room? Society rightly accuses them if they do so in front of others. But who cares if a husband and a wife dance naked or do whatever they want? Therefore, the blessed couple may dance naked in their room. Nobody can accuse whatever happens between a husband and a wife.
Even though there are so many men and women in the world, you should be able to think that there exist only you and your spouse. It is the principle that you totally invest yourself in your spouse alone.
The value of love lies in longing. Your spouse will be happy to pour out his or her love to you only if you ask for love opening your mouth and your eyes as much as you can-in other words, only if you actively initiate love. Otherwise, your spouse will run away. How bad would you feel if your spouse were passive and not serious in love? Do you want to be closer to your lover or to be far away from your lover? We always want to be together with our lover because we feel good when we are together. We feel good when we are together because everything functions simultaneously.
When expressing love to a partner, it would be better to do it silently than to do it loudly shouting, "I love you." Deep love kept silently in the heart is very precious.
Occidental love is active whereas Oriental love is internal. The waves are high in the shallow water and gentle in the deep water. The waves of love also get quieter in depth. In this sense, invisible love is more precious than visible love. If there is one walking, visible God, what will happen? All the nations will fight with one another to possess this limited God within their boundaries. But fortunately, that which is precious is invisible and that which is invisible is precious. God is precious because He dwells in our invisible mind. Because He is inside our mind, nobody can steal God from us.
The invisible love is the greatest among all kinds of love. It would be no fun at all if love were visible. Since love is invisible, it can be the highest, widest and deepest. Some say love is like the Rocky Mountains or like the Niagara Falls. Those are correct similes. The invisible God is precious because invisible love is precious. It is true that we have to enter the state of the complete absence of ego in order to find God. God lives deeply and quietly in the invisible world rather than in the visible world where we live.
American love looks very hot but it is actually lukewarm. The American couples kiss each other every morning; it is like a fly touching on the skin a little and flying away. Look at Oriental couples. The husband and the wife stare at each other before kissing and they both drop their head slightly due to shyness. It is a really beautiful scene, comparable to one of the great masterpieces. It is also a sweet and mysterious scene when a wife carries her husband's suitcase with loving heart in order to see him off when he leaves for a business trip. But most American women don't even turn their heads or go out of the room to see their husbands off. Therefore, Orientals who are aware of the Western life style don't want to get married to an American woman.
The conversation of a loving couple is much more beautiful than any poem or any picture in the world. How beautiful words are, such as "between lovers," "between ourselves," or "you and me"!
When God blesses human beings, He creates the environment for the couple to be happy. The couples who enter the door of such blessing don't fight with each other right away. After entering the door of love, they are busy exchanging whispers such as, "I've been waiting to meet you for a long time. My life will bloom with the flowers of value through you. I was born to love you and waited to love you until now." There is nothing sweeter than the confidential talk of love.
The married couple's whispering of love is the most effective refrigerant to cool off all the fatigue and the hatred in the world. A couple shouldn't demand love forcibly from each other. Love is natural, so the confidential talk of love is soft and beautiful.
The wife after knowing love is stimulated to take a nap in the husband's bosom. That's because she gets addicted to this happiness and cannot control her heart. Prior to marriage, the man looks creepy and scary, but the woman's heart changes rapidly after marriage. She will do whatever it takes to be with her husband as much as she can be. For example, she pushes her husband to come home for lunch.
Likewise, a man after knowing love wants to sleep on his wife's lap whenever he finds leisure time, so he rushes right home at a coffee break or at lunch time. After marriage, he can do whatever the wife wants without a moment's hesitation -- even things that he formerly considered totally belonging to women. This is the typical change which takes place in a married couple.
When a man and a woman meet through God as their mediator, how do they express their love? Looking at the developmental process of love, love is expressed first by the mouth, second by the breasts and third by the sexual organ. Before making love, a woman hides her mouth due to shyness because love starts from kissing.
As love matures, sons and daughters are born as the fruit of love. For woman, her sexual organ is the holy place of love and only the husband has the key to the door of love. If the husband has two keys to open the holy place of love, he is Satan. The woman's holy place is to be opened only by her husband's key. If it can be opened by any other key, the woman is Satan.
When the husband opens the wife's holy place with his key of love, the most precious and valuable children are to be born. The children are the crystals of love. Through giving birth to a child, human beings can experience God's heart of having created Adam and Eve.
Because the baby is the incarnation of the parents, being composed of the blood, flesh and love of the parents, it looks lovely and cute all the time. It doesn't matter if the child has a runny nose or is urinating or defecating. Love is soaked with those actions. If the couple's relationship is created by an extremely strong force of love, no matter what the spouses do, every action looks joyful and lovely.
If a woman complains about her husband's body smell or if a man dislikes his wife's gestures, we can tell that there is no perfect love established between the couple. Such couples relate centering upon their own advantage.
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