Blessing and Ideal Family Part 2
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
4) Ideal Husband and Wife
Why did God make it that man needs woman and woman needs man? It is because God did not want to let one person live independently, but desired that two people live together for the sake of the future world, centering upon God's desire and love. When a husband and wife live hand in hand, dreaming optimistically of the future and denying the fallen reality, they will be able to go through any difficult environment. The difficult reality will not damage their future but will stimulate in them a new vision for the future. The ordeal of the present reality then will not restrain them. When a man and a woman stand in the position to respect each other, fully aware of and accompanied by the value of the future, the site of happiness will be established right there.
God established Adam and Eve as each other's ideal spouse because they are absolutely needed for each other. Unless the subject and the object make a bond of affinity in the present reality they cannot relate to the future. God established Jesus and the Holy Spirit as subject and object in order to manifest this cosmic content. Nobody can deny this.
In order to extend the dominion, you get married.
A couple has to establish a family with the affection generated from each other, and it should match God's purpose. Otherwise, you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven where God dwells in eternity. This is the conclusion and God's purpose of creation.
God is composed of vertical dual characteristics and each human being is composed of horizontal dual characteristics, so the ideal of husband and wife is to create a perfect sphere by the unity of the vertical God and the horizontal human beings.
Husband and wife should love each other as God's representatives. If you love from a humanistic point of view, you will eventually get divorced after discovering each other's shortcomings.
If a man and a woman get divorced whenever one of them makes a mistake, the family system will be destroyed and the order of society will be thrown into confusion. According to the degree of the mistake, they are to be given the indemnity period to repent. They should be educated about their mistakes and should be led not to make the same mistakes, in order for them to continue as a harmonious family.
Who are the true husband and true wife? When people become mature, they team to form a family. They should consider their spouse to be their eternal object of love and their love should grow, day by day adding more and more love to the first love. When husband and wife as the substantial bodies of eternal love can extend the family-level love to the love of a tribe, they can be considered a true husband and true wife. Then they also can participate in God's love.
The true husband thinks that he was born, lives, and will die for the sake of his spouse. The same is true for the true wife. The husband and wife of an ideal, happy and peaceful family carry the principle to live for the sake of their spouse.
All of you are men of influence and fame in your society. You may think that your success is achieved by your own talent and effort, but you have to know that your very being was caused by a woman, not by yourself. Without a woman, can a man be born? What about a woman? Was she born for the sake of herself? It is vanity to be proud of being a famous feminine movie star in colorful make-up without a man. A man's shoulders are wide and a woman's hips are big so that they can be matched well.
Therefore, an ideal couple comes into being when they are of one mind to live for the sake of the other. From this point of view, ideal, happy and good people are those who live for the sake of others. This is the very principle of creation, of which humankind is still ignorant.
The husband should be able to sacrifice his life for the sake of his wife and the wife should be able to sacrifice her life for the sake of her husband. Such a couple is related to and protected by God's direct dominion of love, so it is impossible for them to fall.
True parents live and die for the sake of their children because love is established between them. Likewise, a husband and wife of true love and of true happiness are one in love, and they each live for the sake of the other. This is an ideal couple.
In the secular family, when a husband earns money, power is produced. The money earned by the husband is the source to energize the wife and the husband gets energy by looking at his energized wife. That's why they are anxious and their relationship is apt to be broken when the husband doesn't earn money. The true husband and wife should center upon God's love.
The bride and bridegroom should center upon the original love of God, not upon money, authority or fame.
You are to develop yourself gradually, centering upon love. While the husband loves the wife and the wife lives for the sake of the husband, they are to establish a family that loves God.
What is the ideal couple of which the Unification Church talks? They are the couple which can substantiate the utmost art. The love of a husband and wife is the masterpiece of all art works. It is the best literature and it should be the substance of literature.
The husband should look the best in the wife's eyes and the wife should look the best in the husband's eyes. The bond of first love is the best bond. It doesn't matter what others say. It is impossible to buy it with billions of dollars. How beautiful it is to possess such a world of love eternally! The wife should follow and serve her husband well. This is not supposed to appear just in literature or movies. You should live it in reality. The ideal of history and the ideal of culture have been wrecked, so Father has been creating a new history in order to create the ideal culture.
Until when do you want to love your spouse? How would you feel if the answer came, "Until our youth is over"? We want our spouse to love us until death and even eternally. Eternity represents the whole centering upon the future. To love until death is to love sacrificing everything. "Eternally" means "completely," and "until death" means "giving everything."
After marriage, sisters will ask their husbands if they like them and how much they like them. They want to hear their husbands say that they love them giving everything, wholeheartedly. The same is true for men. It is inevitable. It is the way of God's harmony.
A man should die if he cannot control a woman, but it doesn't mean that man is to neglect woman. It doesn't work to claim and to present your one-sided way of love. Man and woman should examine each other forever. If your life is not sanctified and your family is not restored, God cannot claim your couple as His.
The dutiful son's mind is unchanging and it goes straight to his parents; and the loyal subject's mind goes straight to his king. Likewise, the saint is the one whose mind is unchanging and goes straight to God. If your mind is unchanging even at the moment of death, you are a dutiful son, a loyal subject and a saint.
In this view, if a couple wants to be a true husband and wife, the wife's mind should be able to go straight to the husband and the husband's mind should be able to go straight to the wife. That's why the Unification Church disciplines the mind to go straight to God regardless of whether one is Occidental or Oriental. Therefore, the mind of western members and of eastern members in the Unification Church is exactly the same toward Father.
The husband is precious to his wife and the wife is precious to her husband. They meet in the presence of the heavenly law; their meeting is not caused by themselves. If we keep our integrity in relation to God, we can break through and advance upon our way.
An ideal husband and wife encourage each other to work for the Will, God, and the world.
You must be a luminous couple, like the sun and the full moon in the principled orbit, not like the sun Or the moon covered with dark clouds in a dark cosmos.
Heaven is looking for a couple which can represent heaven and earth and whose heart is filled with passionate love.
Create a record of love until you meet Father again. You should rear your children in the atmosphere of such conjugal love.
You should be a couple of parental heart which can be God's fence.
Economic difficulties cannot crack the affinity of husband and wife. Educational background cannot blur conjugal love. Some wife may think that her husband should study a certain field more, but Father doesn't think so.
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