Cheon Seong Gyeong – Sun Myung Moon
I fully understand what it is like to determine to fulfill God's will. I know what God's love is like, and I know that I must both kneel in gratitude and walk the path to offer forgiveness. No one has known that God is filled with bitter grief that compels Him to walk the path of liberation even though His blood might be shed.
I did not pray to God asking Him to save me even when I collapsed under torture; and though I was pursued, I did not pray to God asking Him to protect me on my path or to save me. As a man of character, I have my own reserve of strength. I have the spirit and the inner strength to fight. I say to myself, "God will probably save me if I collapse unconscious due to lack of strength. But before that, with my own power..." I know that God is waiting, preparing things in advance before I go. (138-358, 1986.1.24)
God is with the Unification Church. If I were to lose my temper, thinking "that good-for-nothing!" and think to myself, "You wait and see; just wait a couple of months," in the end that person would be broken in pieces. Wouldn't it be strange to see such a thing? That is why I bite my tongue and control myself. I cannot curse others with my mouth. As the True Parent, I cannot use my mouth to curse others. Even as I hold back my words, Heaven releases me completely from my bitter feelings. When you see this, don't you think God loves me? (162- 205, 1987.4. 1 2)
Nobody ever became a congressman or president of this nation while its sovereign rights were intact, with the authority of a homogeneous people clothed in white, proud of its five-thousand-year culture in Asia. After the liberation of Korea, I was thinking of the possibility of seeing such a congressman and president. You must understand that this was not just my wish but God's wish as well. When this happens, Asia will be in the palm of God's hand. Please have faith in the fact that the world should head towards the place God is also heading. (171-190, 1988.1.1)
Harboring bitter grief in my heart, how can I take a rest? My path is a busy one, since I must walk this path to resolve everything from a thousand years of history. For forty years of my life, I could not avoid taking the path of tears. This continues even now. North Korea should have welcomed the new garden of God's love where young people who can praise God can spring up. Yet seeing them tainted by those who betrayed God, He had to turn away His face. We have to make it so that God can turn His face back.
Since I entered North Korea with God and with this system of thought that restores things to their original state, the communist world should thank me, and the democratic world should be even more grateful to me. Let us march forward to this place! (173-116, 1988.2.7)
At Seodaemun prison, a lady evangelist who had persevered for a time in the Unification Church but who then left after things did not turn out the way she wanted, said to me, "Oh, this has turned out well for you. Would this happen to the son of God?" I answered "Yes, I am not someone who will disappear in prison. I will make great leaps toward a liberated world." I will never forget her face. I heard that she recently died in miserable circumstances, and I felt pity for her. This is how I live. I know everything about how the five presidents of Korea treated me. Yet I do not show this. I do not seek revenge. They did not know. I have to meet them and teach them. After saying what I need to say, I have to resolve everything. (204-118. 1990.7.1)
When I came to this earth what position was I in? As the son, sibling, couple and parent in whom God's heart of bitter pain remains, I stood in a position to indemnify and release God's anguish at its pinnacle by giving the perfected love that could not be given before. (234-140, 1992.8.10)
Everything exists for the sake of others. Based on God's ideal of creation to live for the sake of others, God had to invest, invest, and invest Himself to multiply true love. As He did, we have to spread it throughout the universe and return to the original homeland. When we return, we should not kick others away as our enemies. We have to bring them to naturally submit to us through love. Without this natural submission, God cannot find His position. If I were to use trickery, I would not be defeated by anyone. However, knowing that we must bring them to submit, I have been restraining myself. Can you imagine how difficult it has been for me to suppress my fiery character for forty years?! How much more difficult would it be for God, Who is more intense than I am! (219-93, 1991.8.25)
Once I turned to look back, and God, who was following me, embraced me in tears. When I turned to say, "You are the center of my love; I submit to You; I will absolutely follow You," God embraced me again. How great it is to be in such a position! Just as God gave me His position, I must also give God's position to all of you. (215-341, 1991.3.1)
Looking back in history, forty years ago I was hunted by the nation and hunted by the established churches. My position was that of an orphan expelled into the wilderness. From such an awful position, I had to fulfill God's requirement to restore the historical standard and create a global foundation! I had lost the victorious Christian cultural sphere that had been established on Heaven's side after World War II, and the foundation of America, the nation that governs the free world. In the position of the owner, I could not help thinking about the intense grief of losing this foundation and about having to accomplish the task of restoration through indemnity again, over a forty-year period. Can you imagine how aghast I was, knowing clearly that I could have brought history to its conclusion -- something even God could not do for hundreds of thousands or millions of years! (135-187, 1985.11.13)
I have accomplished these tasks oblivious to rain and snow. Nightfall was like dawn, and I would even forget to eat. I could not take this lightly because I knew God and felt the serious responsibility that comes with knowing God. More than anybody else, I knew how sorrowful God was. Thus, even if my body were torn apart, crumbled into dust and blown away, all those scattered cells could still cry out as God's cells. I grappled with this path of death, accepting it as a worthy death for a man. As I grappled with this, people thought I would perish and disappear, but things have turned out like this. (137-178, 1986.1.1)
Since I knew the great and bitter pain that was entrenched in heaven and earth, I had to comfort God even when I was vomiting blood. Who could ever understand the bitter reality of my position as the True Parent, in which I could not pray, "I am about to die. God, please save me"? Nobody knew of this. Only God. Only He understood my heart.
Even though many people follow the Unification Church, none of them is one with my thought. All of you must understand this. A substandard Unificationist community cannot stand in the sphere of liberation. I know that the behavior of those who have received the Blessing is nowadays like that of the devil's cousins. (145-332, 1986.6.1)
God would offer a hundred thanks to the brave man who would confess that he has not fought enough, that he lacks the qualifications to shed tears, or that he is concerned that the Father would shed tears if He saw him in sorrow. God would offer those thanks to the brave man who, in the unbearably bitter position of being whipped, would worry that God would be in a miserable position or who would be concerned that God would shed tears when he cries through clenched teeth, "My grief is nothing, my pain is nothing, my sorrow is nothing." God would offer those thanks to the brave man who would cry out and raise the flag of victory as the vanguard on the path to take vengeance upon the enemy. God would express His gratitude one hundred times, saying, "Should I call you a patriot, should I call you a son of filial piety, or should I call you a virtuous person? In all the history of the world there has been no person more precious than you." (153-269, 1964.3.26)
To this day, I, Rev. Moon, have walked a lonely path as an individual. Though it has been a lonely path, I know God more deeply than anyone else does. In history, many lonely people cursed their circumstances while asking for blessings. Yet, centering on God's grieving heart, I did not think like those people. Instead, I said, "God, do not worry." That is a different way. I am not a man to retreat due to personal trials. A man who pledges to die only after overcoming the trials of the world and liberating God cannot write a letter of surrender during that individual course. He cannot be cowardly. Even though my wife opposed me, my children opposed me and my parents opposed me, I cut them off in order to walk this path. I walked the path in spite of opposition by my nation of 40 million or even 60 million people. (175-257, 1988.4.24)
Time is so short. A lifetime is not enough time to rectify this and compensate for it. That has been my life course. So from a secular viewpoint, my life would be pitied. Try asking God, "What kind of person is Rev. Moon?" The pain I feel causes me to lament in sorrow; I am experiencing bitter pain like that of a man writhing in agony while having his heart cut out. On this earth I am a miserable man. Nobody knows about my suffering. People may boast about themselves, thinking they are wonderful. Yet they do not know my suffering. Even Mother does not know. (213-278, 1990.1.21)
None of you knows the bitter circumstances of my going to Hungnam prison after I lost all the foundation for which God had toiled for over six thousand years. Leaving my hometown was not the problem. My wife and child were not the problem. It seems like yesterday that I cried for those who, as the future hope of heaven and earth, were to welcome me as liberated people. But they vanished into hell in the clouds, disappearing into the world of darkness, even while I cried out to them that we would meet again. It seems like yesterday that I proclaimed, "Although you have disappeared, I will keep to my path and bring the bright morning sun to find and liberate you again!" I cannot forget the sound of my shouting this while in chains. I cannot forget the times I prayed while in difficulty. (220-205, 1991.10.19)
When I ask God, "God, are You not this kind of person? The God I know is like this." God would take my hand and weep profusely, asking, "How did you find that out, my son?" When God hears this He will weep. Then how loud the sound of His weeping will be! God knows that this situation cannot continue for a thousand more years. Thus, He wipes away His tears, stops His weeping and says, "My son!" You must understand God's need for such a son and daughter. (176-263, 1988.5.11)
"I will become God's true soldier. No matter how terrible this battlefield for God may be, I will join the frontline." That is my spirit. I never once complained to God even when the world's persecution swarmed about me -- even when I was in a position of utter loneliness due to persecution and suffering. This is what I can take pride in. (193-73, 1989.8.20)
Have absolute faith in God! If you have absolute faith in God -- even when you cannot find faith on the left side or right side, on the north, south, east or west, on the front or back, on the left or right - you will find yourself on the center line. With absolute faith, you will find one position. You will find the absolute position, the place where God resides. From there everything will start to be resolved. In the way of faith, many things are ordained. There is no discussion. Because your life of faith deviates, its angle must be adjusted, even by force. In light of this, how great is God's pain and the pain of humankind! (188-225, 1989.2.26)
You do not know how angry this makes me! There cannot be anyone in history who feels greater indignation than I do. When I weep, there is no one who weeps more bitterly than I do. No one could weep more than I do. I feel God's heart flowing from my heart as in tears I embrace a thousand years of history on this earth, embracing the lost sorrow. Can you cover up that root, sit there, eat your fill and live in comfort? Even dogs would not eat the carcass of such a wretch. (180-50, 1988.8.20)
Unless a man goes over that difficult mountain pass of indemnity while calmly and happily attending and comforting God, the kingdom of peace on earth will not appear. Such a representative and public person is lonely. When somebody stands up and says, "Rev. Moon did such things as this...," I feel like bursting into tears. Even though I am an old man of seventy whose tears should have all dried up, I harbor a loneliness that cannot stop the flow of tears of sorrow. You must never forget that there is such a parent. (183-86, 1988.10.29)
Think about how much time I have spent in prison, more than five years in all. Think about how rain dripping from a gutter will gradually make a hole in a rock. None of you would know how bitterly I wept as I gazed upon those drops of water, thinking how much I wished that the teardrops of my love could bore a hole through the rock of anguish embedded in God's heart! Gazing upon a flowing stream I thought how wonderful it would be if this stream could be pristine water, serving God so that He could come and bathe in it! How wonderful it would be if I could be a child who could prepare such a home or resting place for God! Unless you experience that deep world of heart, you have nothing to do with God. (185-45, 1989.1.1)
How long have I suppressed my indignation? How many times have I been overwhelmed to the point that all five of my sensory organs were choked up? It was not for the sake of meeting all of you. It was for the sake of bringing the rulers of humanity into submission, but not through my body, or by guns and swords. Unless I bring them to natural surrender by influencing their hearts through the lineage of love, God's desired garden of peace will not come to heaven and earth. It will be impossible to build the kingdom of peace. (197-348, 1990.1.20)
There are many difficulties as we live in this world! Who knows what will befall us today? People who cannot break free from this fearful environment have a wretched life. Who will be the teacher who can mentor them amidst this environment of fear and chaos? There is no teacher. I had to weep bitterly and struggle because of this problem. If there is a God, why could He not step into the role of the teacher? Actually God is a teacher whose principle is love. Not knowing this, we harbored a grievance toward God. He is a teacher centered on love. (203-228, 1990, 1.6.26)
Once I came back in the evening tired. I slept for awhile and woke up, washed my face and shaved. Mother looked at me and said, laughing, "Washing and shaving is what you do when you get up in the morning. Why are you doing it now?" That is how I live. My heart goes in one direction. My devoted effort goes in one direction. Try praying, asking God what kind of person I am. God will wail in sorrow. He will weep so bitterly that His tongue will come out and not go back in. You have to know that those are the circumstances of my life. (221-163, 1991.10.23)
For fallen humankind, I am the savior. But from God's viewpoint, I am the True Son and True Parent who will fulfill the true-love ideal of creation that was lost in the beginning. The savior is one who pioneered the path of sacrifice, offering his life to relieve God's anguish that began with the Fall. The savior is not only living in glory. He weeps together with God's heart and is deeply concerned with bringing Satan to his knees. (232-225, 1992.7.7)
Whose God are you going to make Him? Are you going to make Him America's God? Will you make Him the God of Korea? Will you make Him your God? Which? You are so greedy! If you want to make Him your God, you have to work for God more than for your own people. If God loves Rev. Moon, and if you can make more effort than Rev. Moon, God will surely love you more than He loves me. Isn't that an infallible formula? There are no objections to this. I want to see people who have a greater capacity than I do to comfort God, serve God's will, and offer distinguished service to God. If I wanted people with abilities inferior to my own, I would be a dictator. (184-224, 1989.1.1)
If a marathon runner has completed 80 percent of the race from the starting line, takes the lead by 100 or 1,000 meters, and falls down at that point, that is the end of it. When a marathon champion runs, do the spectators say "Hey, slow down!"? They say "Run fast!" until he drops. It is the same for me. I have to set the record. Only when I hold the record can I receive God's highest award with a clear conscience. I have to push myself until then. (230-186, 1992.5.3)
Something went wrong at the starting point. It was as dreadful as saying, "Something went wrong at my birth! Oh dear, now that I have grown up, I see that 1 am a son adopted from beggars; I was the child of a beggar, brought from an orphanage." This is even worse than being the child of a beggar. When you were young, you thought your parents were your real parents, but later on you realized that you were the son of a beggar. What happens to your household when people find out that you are of such lowly birth?
Your household would surely be turned upside down, and people would weep bitterly. How shocked you would be to find out that you were raised in an orphanage when you thought that the mother and father who raised you were your real parents! This is shocking even in the secular world. It would be an even greater shock for God to see His crown princes who were to inherit His kingship and the heavenly palace walking around together with such people and becoming kings of hell. (216-107, 1991.3.9)
Rev. Moon's concept and the Unification Church's concept of husband and wife means attending the eternal Parent for a thousand or ten thousand years as a son and daughter born from God's lineage and attaining the qualification as a son and daughter whom God can eternally praise as His own. Only by going through this position can you heal the wounds that resulted from the Fall and that remain in God's heart.
When you grasp God and say, "Father, how much You have toiled!" He will weep upon hearing your words. He will explode into tears saying, "Thank you; I've been doing this through the thousands of years of history." Tens of tens of millions of years have passed since the creation of humankind. It is not just six thousand years as the Bible indicates based on the history of cultures recorded in its pages. Actually it has been tens of millions of years since God decided to begin the providence of salvation. (232-138, 1992.7.3)
In the past, I saw right through those people who came to the Unification Church with the motivation to use it for their own purposes; those people did all sorts of things. I knew who they were, yet I let them deceive me. Why did I do so? It is because God has been doing so to this day. When people betrayed me and turned their backs, I could have exploded in indignation and resentment saying, "Those reprobates should be struck by lightning." Yet when I thought about the heart of God who longs for their return, I could not do that. Each time I grasped that suffering heart of God, and had the heart to forgive, a new segment, like that of a bamboo shoot, was created. Do you understand? A segment of the Unification Church was made. That is how we are making family segments, tribal segments and national segments. (197-312, 1990.1.20)
You should not let this historic teacher's anguish and God's historical pain flow by unnoticed. You should gently retain love in the deepest part of your heart. When you meet God in the other world, you should embrace Him and shed tears, saying, "I knew of Your grief and I tried to align myself accordingly, but I could not. Please forgive me." If that kind of heart leads you, even if you weep while grasping God, He will weep together with you and embrace you. I believe that liberation is not possible without that kind of day. However great a wife's love maybe, it cannot reach such a level; and however great a parent's love may be, it cannot reach that level. Since I know these things, in order to bring about liberation I had no time to take my eyes off that task or to go off on a tangent. (184-246, 1989.1.1)
Until we meet again, you must think of me day and night; think of me when you get hungry. Even if you do not eat, do the things I do for God's will. When you get drowsy, persevere for God's will, thinking about me as I go on without sleep. You have to think about your teacher who endures without vindicating himself in the face of slander. Being even more upright in your heart, you should be thirsty for tomorrow's victory and go forth with the intention of gaining results and seeing your enemies surrender to you naturally. Only through these efforts can you and this people find the path of life. (82-48, 1975.12.30)
Once I received word that a member had been sentenced to death. How could I, the founder of the Unification Church, spend the night without tears after hearing this? How much pity I felt! If he had not known me, this would surely not have happened. As he walked the final path while facing east toward Korea and said, "I will go now," and wished me a long life, do you know how my heart felt to be unable to hold onto and save such a person who followed beyond his nation's borders the teacher he had never met? Knowing the heart of heaven that pitied those who were held captive, in pain and suffering under the tribulations of the devil, day and night I had to drive people like him to march forward. (201-152, 1990.3.30)
I never thought, even in my dreams, of becoming the founder of the Unification Church. Even now it is the same. I do not have the concept of being the founder of a religion. I am just an ordinary man. Even today I did not wear a suit or necktie. I am only comfortable in more minimal attire. Why? Because I know that even at this hour, throughout the world members of the Unification Church with their clothes drenched in rain from a gutter are longing for me, wishing me a long life and offering bows. I cannot trample on situations where people are praying for me to receive blessing. Thus, when I open my eyes, I cannot sleep. As the founder of a religion, I feel like a sinner. That is why the Unification Church members cannot ignore me. (197-162, 1990.1.13)