Blessing And Ideal Family (Part 1)
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
4) You Must Be Able to Go Over "The Hill of the Eye"
When you marry, you want to receive a good-looking person, a good-looking woman, right? If everybody thinks like that, well, how many among you are good-looking? Thus you must think differently or you will not be able to go over the way of suffering. When the eyes hate something, if you can say, "You eyes! That is the road of thorns which you have to go through, but let's see what we don't want to see, and let us love as God loves," those eyes are beautiful. Other people cannot see in that way.
God thinks in this way. God is the world champion in appearing in disguise. You should think that the person who appears as your beloved spouse is a son or daughter of God, whom He truly loves, and that therefore He may come disguised as the most ugly person. If you love your husband or wife with those eyes, it has the same significance as loving God's son and daughter.
Think that the bridegroom or bride who looks good in my eyes actually does not like me, that God chose wrongly, and that he or she came to tempt me. When you look at a beautiful woman, you should think that she is a temptress who came to take you out. It is more advantageous to look ugly than to look good. And if the spouse is too big, you should think that since God is big, He has allowed you to meet a big person. If you meet a small spouse, you should think that since God has many little creations, He has given you a small person. In this world people use beautiful women and handsome men for conspiracies. They deceive others using beautiful women and handsome men. Therefore, you should think that beautiful women and handsome men are dangerous beings who have a high possibility to become the tools of Satan. And how proud you could be by thinking that you have met a safe person who will not be used by Satan. If black people think that they are black because while the white people are arrogant, they are trying to become naturally humble, they will come closer to God. Are you now confident to go over "the hill of the eye"?
Among the many women, there must be one who thinks, "Since I have such a pretty face, any man who looks at me will fall deeply in love with me. Which man will he be?" She should rather think, "Even though I am so beautiful, if there is God's will of love which wants to dissolve the resentment of all men, how wonderful it would be if He used me to leave the name of an exemplary woman in front of even the world's ugliest man."
No matter how ugly the face is, that is not important. What matters is what kind of mind the person has.
Thus, when you are asked whether to choose a wife with a nice face or a wife with a good heart, which one would it be! Also, you women, do you want to receive a man with a good-looking appearance or a man with a good heart? It would be good if both were good, but there is no such being. It will blow up on its way. If you put gas in a balloon and let it go on a murky and gloomy day, it will not pop even if it is high up. But if you put too much air and fly it on a sunny day, it will pop. On a good-weather day, you should put little air in the balloon and make it not too inflated so that it does not pop easily.
Those young men and women who are unmarried should have dreams. You must make a general rule that even if you meet the ugliest husband or wife, you will do your best. If you make a rule that you should receive a beautiful wife or handsome man, all will break up. The one who thinks that one will go the way of God's will by being grateful no matter what kind of man or woman one receives, and thinks this with sincerity, God will bless above the degree of their thinking.
When you get blessed, don't think you will get blessed to a beautiful woman. You must say that you will become a person who can prosper and live well by being the husband of the ugliest woman in the world. In that way, you should be a husband whom any beautiful woman in the world can respect. Do you understand what I am saying? You must deal well with a woman by having this sort of viewpoint.
What kind of wife or husband will you meet and marry? You must make the general rule that you will meet the ugliest person and love him or her by being an exemplary spouse. In this way you should marry and live a good life.
The higher the degree of love, the more a person will be able to move around in the infinite universe.
I have thoughts different from the people of the world. In the Unification Church's mass wedding, the person who thinks, "Since I am a handsome man, please marry me to a beautiful woman," is disqualified in terms of the Unification Church's historical tradition. You pass if no matter what kind of spouse you receive, you can think of him or her as your spouse and stick close to your man or woman.
True love has to conquer shady spots. Whenever Father thought about an ideal spouse, I always thought that I could say I love my partner even if she was ugly.
From now on, good-looking people should be married to ugly people. We should venerate them. Such a time will come. Our world has to become that kind of world. We should anticipate the tradition of a country which comes from the wife who lives with a crippled man or the husband of a handicapped woman. That kind of person should be comforted through the environment, right? Until now this did not happen, but in the future it will definitely be like that.
Can you know what your faces look like? Your faces change every day, actually hundreds of times a day. Can you draw on a paper the changing expressions of the face with a mirror in front of you? You might think that you know your face very well, but sometimes it becomes ugly even to the extent that you are surprised. When your mind is happy, your face also blooms wide. But if your mind is unhappy, your face also distorts. Depending on everyday feelings, your facial expressions change. It is because the face is the representation of the mind. The face that appears relative to the mind and centering on the mind becomes a happy face when the mind is happy and sad when the mind is sad. That is why you cannot say, "This is how I look." It is because you cannot tell exactly which shape your face has at any time. Your face is close to you and one with you; that is why you cannot know what your face looks like.
It is the same as the principle that an object very close to your eyes can't be seen very well when you try to look at it. When you touch and feel your own hands, do you feel the same precise perception as when you touch another's person's hand? You cannot feel them that well. In the same way, the person who establishes that his partner, i.e., his wife, looks a certain way, is essentially mistaken. In the same way as not exactly knowing how one's face looks, one cannot say, "This is the right face," of my beloved wife. Just as his face changes, his wife's face also changes constantly, depending on her state of mind. Thus she appears different every time and her appearance also depends upon the observer's state of mind. If an observer remembers the smiling, happy face, that image becomes the wife's image. And if she felt seriousness and dignity in her husband's face, that face becomes the one that she remembers. If someone laughs with side teeth showing, that face is remembered as the person's face. In this point of view, feeling the charm of someone is because one thinks centering on that representation and then magnifies that representation. In other words, whether it is a man, woman. wife or husband, all have infinite shapes centering on love.
When getting married, you should know that you could lose the opportune time for marriage if you try to select a spouse centering on yourself. When getting married, it is common for a woman to emphasize academic level and economic strength over what is most important, such as love, health and capabilities. It is a mistake to think like that. If you choose your spouse by putting love as the last of concerns or by being in a condition of de-emphasizing love because of conditions and matters of understanding, your marriage cannot become happy.
The instance where you prefer a woman with a pretty face over others means the same thing. Since that face cannot last for eternity, it will soon become old with wrinkles. The face has eyes, nose, mouth and ears, and to think someone is pretty or ugly based on the position and arrangement of these parts is not correct thinking.
If you think that your spouse is lovely, even if her eyes are unseemly, all will look pretty and beautiful. Therefore, depending on whether or not you have a loving mind, the person can look beautiful or ugly. There can be the instance where even if one looks quite unseemly in daytime, one could look beautiful at night. This is because a loving mind contracts and expands, back and forth.
When a man and a woman meet, the love between them becomes deeper and deeper as they give and take by understanding and relating to each other his or her own circumstances. Try thinking that my fiancÚ is unique and the best companion and shout it out. If that happens, that fiancÚ will become the best lover.
If you think, "I like my fiancÚ for his big eyes. I like big eyes. How long have I waited to meet a man with big eyes," then the man's eyes will become even bigger, and their love will become deeper and deeper. This is a valid theory and not a fabrication. You should know that this is the true, ideal theory of love.
There is some person who seems to have small eyes when in actuality he has big eyes. And another person could have small eyes that appear bigger than they really are. This is all because of the ideology of love.
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