Blessing And Ideal Family (Part 1)
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
2) There Should be the Harmony of Extremes
When Father is giving the Blessing, he has to make two poles meet for there to be a harmonious family. He should not make east meet east or north meet north. He has to make north and south meet and east and west meet. All of you, do you think that I should match a tall brother with a tall sister or a short sister? A fat man does not like a fat woman. Will a skinny man like a chubby woman or a slim woman? Think about it. Which would he like? He would like a chubby woman, right? If he does not like a chubby woman, what would happen if he is skinny and she is thin too? If on a mountain there are only big trees everywhere, it does not look good. There should be small trees, too.
If a handsome man and a beautiful woman live together, do you think that the family will survive? No, it will not. Each kind of person needs to receive the opposite kind. Everything in the universe is like that. I should match a short person to a tall person. If they are both tall, there will not be much fun in their lives. If there is a person who has a wide face, that person should expect a slender person. A person with a trumpet-shaped nose should be matched to another with a nose like a hawk's beak. A person with eyes that look like they are half open should be matched to a person with big eyes. And there is a certain person who always makes people feel uneasy whenever he opens his mouth. For that kind of person you need to give a taciturn, reticent person. In this way, this aspect and that aspect have to fit.
When I select your spouses, I match according to this basic principle. Without knowing the agony and trouble Father went through, there is someone who says, "Oh, I do not like my spouse." That kind of person is going the course of his own unhappiness without knowing the Unification Church's Divine Principle. A person who is tall as a pole should meet a short person, and a chubby person should meet a slim person. In this way they can receive protection from one another's weaknesses and also receive care and love from the other person. If two people who are tall as poles meet or two people who are as chubby as drums meet, how unfortunate it would be. More than anything, one's love partner should establish an ideal harmony and balance.
A woman whose flesh is rather thin is not very good. A woman whose facial flesh is thin or who behaves tenderly is easily startled. In order to live with that kind of person, one has to fight at least once a week. Thus the person with whom she can live has to be like a bull, like a rock, in order for them to grow old together. That type of woman should know this and shouldn't think about marrying a handsome man even as a remote possibility.
For example, it is the formula that a person who looks like a triangle should meet an opposite-looking person, someone who is circular. Do not think of this as a difficult concept. It is the law of nature. The phenomena of the natural world can be checked against the predictions of the law of nature and be seen to agree. It is the same here. What can a thin person expect if he receives a thin spouse? That match cannot be successful now or in the future. Therefore, a thin person should be matched to a chubby person, and a short person should meet a tall person. What about a good-looking person? There is a saying, "A good-looking person has misfortune," right? That saying is true. When two good-looking persons meet, what will come out of it? None of their descendants will be good-looking. What starts out high will fall all at once. It is a fundamental law that if the goal is met at the outset, the future can only see decline. Therefore, if there is a couple composed of a good-looking husband and a good-looking wife, will it rise or decline?
It is the law of the universe that what goes up must come down. The "golden mean" in the Oriental philosophies stated this matter well. It says that if two good-looking people meet, the end will be near. Thus, a good-looking man should be married to an ugly woman and a beautiful woman to an ugly man for there to be enduring prosperity. This is the only way to think.
Let us say that there is a person with a face elongated like a horse's. Then, what image is longer than that of a horse? It is the image of a grasshopper. But then if you match a grasshopper-like person to that horse-like person, what kind of children would they have? Think about what kind of children they would have. Probably they will have a child with the image of a lizard. That is the law of nature.
Because of this, all have to be matched to opposite types. To a person looking like a horse, Father has to give a person who is spread out sideways like a pumpkin or a round bucket. In this way, two opposite types can be harmonized well, and if they have ten children, they will have at least one or two useful children. But if I don't do that and instead give him the person he wants, when they have ten children, all of them will be useless.
Is Do Soon Choi here? If you look at her character, she is just like a man. Her husband has a gentle character, and that is why they are living harmoniously as a couple. Her husband has a calm, natural disposition. She has such a character that if her husband hit her by mistake, she would grab anything around her and hit him back. But they are living together happily. They are living well together to this day despite her difficult character, because she has met that kind of a man. If she hadn't, by now... When Choi Do Soon picks a fight with her husband, saying, "What kind of man are your' the husband will keep out of her way. [Laughter.] It should be like that. That couple's children are also not so bad. (Father asks Do Soon Choi:) How many daughters do you have? How many sons? [Three.] Three children. You have been blessed with what you need. You have also fulfilled the four position foundation.
Father gave international blessings directly to Koreans, Germans, Japanese, Americans and people of dozens of nationalities. When he matches Koreans, they do not talk much, but they do all kinds of mental calculations about whether their partners are good or bad. This is like death. If the partner is better than the person in terms of appearance and every other aspect, an ordinary person accepts that partner gladly. But I am so frustrated because they calculate so much. I am so anxious that those standing next to me feel their chest burning. After Father asks something in order to see how the person answers, some people just stand there for more than an hour without words. At this time how dumbfounded must Father be?
But it is different with the Western people. In order to marry them, Father has to explain something first. Father explains that if possible, an older woman and a younger man should marry each other for them to live well together. Then they listen to Father well. But it is very difficult to convince Asians like Koreans and Japanese. Asians have the notion that it is a general rule for the bride to be younger. It is a traditional practice. But the Westerners are the opposite. As time passes, the persons who marry from extreme to extreme or pole to pole will be the best.
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