About Unification Church Tradition
Instructions for the 3-Day Ceremony
Prepared by the American Blessed Family Department
Prepared in June, 1986 (revised December 1990)
The Spiritual Basis Of The 3-Day Ceremony's Procedure
During the first two days of the Three-Day ceremony, the woman is in the position of the "Bride of the Messiah" and "mother" to her spouse. Therefore, she initiates each part of the ceremony. Through the ceremony of the first day, the man is raised from his position of archangel (being reborn as the son of the Messiah and his wife) to the position of sinless Adam in the formation stage.
Through the ceremony of the second day the man is raised from the position of "Newborn Adam" to the "Adam before the fall" position. Each part of the ceremony of the third day is therefore initiated by the man in his position of Adam. The man takes the leadership role to restore dominion. Through this ceremony, they become one as the eternal ideal couple and husband and wife.
Procedure of the 3-Day Ceremony
A. Selection of the place
Select as holy a place as possible. For example, one might use a Unification Church center, a house which belongs to a member, the house of physical parents if they have accepted the Principle, or some other place with a good spiritual atmosphere.
B. You must have
Holy Gown (clothes)
2 Basins or bowls
Picture of True Parents
2 cushions to designate the places of True Parents
Shim Jung candle
C. Holy Salting
The room must be sanctified. To do so, begin with a prayer offered something like the following:
"We are going to carry out the 3-day ceremony in this room. Please sanctify this room so that this place may become a holy place."
Continue with a prayer of gratitude, etc., then....
"In order that Satan cannot invade this room, we sanctify it in the names of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, our True Parents and (your name)."
The room and the bathroom should be Holy Salted:
(1) Stand in the center of the room. Pray briefly as above.
(2) Remain standing in the same spot.
(3) Sprinkle Holy Salt three times in a northerly direction. Then sprinkle Holy Salt three times in a southerly direction. Then sprinkle Holy Salt three times in an easterly direction. Then sprinkle Holy Salt three times in a westerly direction.
(4) Sanctify all other things used in the ceremony, such as the bed, bed sheets, pillows, etc.
2. Process of the ceremony
A. The First Day
(1) Ceremony of the Holy Handkerchief: The Act of Purification
The purpose is to purify your body externally. First, the woman does this and then the man. The procedure is to first take a bath and then clean your body with warm water (a bath or shower is okay). Then put a small amount of water in a basin or bowl and soak the Holy Handkerchief in it. By doing this, the water is sanctified and has the same meaning as the Holy Water made by True Parents. Then a prayer is offered (individually) with contents something like this:
A prayer of thanks for having been given the Blessing and for having been purified internally through the Holy Wine ceremony.... " Please purify my body externally with this Holy Water."
Wash your whole body with the Holy Handkerchief three times. If there is some water remaining in the bowl, either use it all to wash your body, or if it is too much, keep it for the next day. This holy water should not be thrown away. Keep your Holy Handkerchief and the container separate from your spouse's in preparation for the second day.
(2) The Ceremony
Put on the Holy Gowns
Stand in the positions as shown below
Since the Fall took place out of the sight of God, the Father, the photo of True Parents plays the role of Father. To begin, the man and woman stand before God and True Parents as in Sunday Pledge service and make three full bows (Figure 1). Then, the woman takes a position between the places of True Father and True Mother and seats herself facing the man (Figure 2).
Note: The woman is on the right side (opposite from pledge) because she stands in the subject position.
Her place is slightly forward of True Parents' positions; her back is to the photo of True Parents. She sits with dignity as the Messiah's wife and the mother of the man who is going to be born. The man stands in front of the woman and again bows three times just as in the Pledge service. The he kneels in front of the woman, remains silent and keeps a prayerful heart, while the woman extends her hand over his head and, with the dignity and heart of a mother, offers a prayer. The woman prays the following contents:
Prayer of thanks for having been forgiven, being redeemed of sin.
Prayer of thanks for having been given the position of "new bride" of the Messiah.
"Please make this man (who is in the position of Archangel) reborn and resurrected as a sinless Adam through this ceremony."
"We pray that we will become your true children and the representatives of the True Parents, and inherit your heart as your children."
(3) Act of Love
To perform the act of love, the man lies on his back and the woman lies on him. The woman takes the initiative in the position of subject. The man cooperates so that both can succeed in fulfilling the act of love.
After the act of love both put on the Holy Gowns and stand in the same positions as before the act of love (Figure 2). The man offers three bows to the woman. The woman offers a prayer of thanks for having made this man reborn as Adam in the Formation Stage.
This concludes the first day. Go to sleep in peace. Sleep in pajamas and nightgown. Do not have a physical relationship outside of the content of the ceremony.
B. The Second Day
The second day is almost the same as the first day. Follow the same procedure changing only the contents of the prayers slightly.
(1) In the prayer before the act of love, the woman should pray that the man may be resurrected as the Growth Stage Adam.
(2) After the act of love, the woman should offer a prayer of thanks for having made the man resurrected as the Growth Stage Adam.
C. The Third Day
The third day is the ceremony for the man to restore dominion. It is the ceremony for both the man and woman to come together as the ideal husband and wife.
(1) The man washes first, using the Holy Handkerchief, then the woman washes.
(2) After putting on the Holy Gowns, the man and woman bow three times (as in Pledge service) to Heavenly Father and True Parents. Then they offer three bows to each other simultaneously. Then the man offers the prayer. He stands; the woman kneels facing him (Figure 3).
Note: the man now stands on the right side in the subject position.
Contents of the man's prayer:
"Thank you for having me reborn as sinless Adam through the first two ceremonies. I pray that through the ceremony today we may become an eternal couple as husband and wife and that each of us can have the triple objective relationship of love with each other. I pray that I may restore all the conditions that the first Adam lost."
Contents of the woman's prayer:
"After the man finishes his prayer, the woman in the position of wife, offers a prayer in response to the man's prayer.
(3) For the Act of Love
The man, in the position of subject, lies above the woman and takes the initiative. The woman cooperates and responds to the man.
(4) Care of the Holy Handkerchief
After the act of love, both spouses should wipe their sexual areas with the Holy Handkerchief. Hang the handkerchief to dry naturally and keep them eternally. They must be kept individually labeled and should never be laundered or mixed up.
(5) After the Act of Love
Both husband and wife put on the Holy Gowns. The woman bows to the man once. The man then offers a prayer of thanks for the 3-day ceremony. (Both stand for this prayer)
The contents of the man's prayer should include:
A prayer of thanks for having been able to be reborn as the original Adam and Eve and for having been able to have the relationship as the eternal husband and wife.
Pray, pledging that "From now on we will do our utmost with all our hearts to realize a truly ideal family. We pledge we will never fall again". etc.
This concludes the Three-Day ceremony and is the beginning of a new married life! Couples must wait one day (a 24-hour period) before continuing with regular married life.
A few notes:
(1) It is best to mark the handkerchiefs before using them so there is no problem of mixing them.
(2) The act of love should be a complete act (penetration and ejaculation). In the event that it is difficult to achieve this, strive to achieve as much penetration as possible and continue with the remainder of the ceremony.
(3) The Three-Day ceremony must be done on three consecutive nights. The time in between should be kept free of any other physical relationship.
(4) Because the purpose of the Three-Day ceremony is for restoration and not to conceive a child, it is better to do this at a time when the woman is not fertile.
(5) It is necessary to do the "act of love" in the correct positions.
(6) Do not do the contents of two days in one day. For example, do not do one in the morning and one in the evening. It is all right to start around the same time each evening, even if you finish after midnight. If the wife gets her menstrual cycle during her three days, she may get special permission to postpone the ceremony from her local BFD representative or central figure; otherwise, the ceremony should always be completed within three days.
For the act of love, it is all right to caress each other. Insertion must be accomplished. The couple should continue the act of love until ejaculation, but if it is difficult to reach ejaculation, the act may be stopped at that point. However, insertion itself must be accomplished. If insertion is not possible because the husband does not have an erection, the wife must take her husband's sexual organ in her hand and guide it into her sexual part in order to successfully do the ceremony. If the act of love is not fulfilled and it is delayed, it must be fulfilled within 24 hours starting from the beginning of the ceremony. It is not permitted to use a condom or any other apparatus during the act of love.
American Blessed Family Department
4 West 43rd Street
Prepared in June, 1986 (revised December 1990)
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