The Words of the Moon Family
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The Words of the Moon Family |
Son of Pres. and Mrs. Seung Kyun Moon
About the Blessing, actually, I wasn't surprised. When I got the phone call to come to Korea, I expected it. When I arrived at the airport, I was told that I had been matched to Un Sook Kim, the eldest daughter of Pres. and Mrs. Young Whi Kim.
Of course to me there was no doubt whether I would accept my wife or not, because I totally trust Father. I knew he was going to pick the right person for me. I didn't have any doubt about her. Besides, I heard so many good things about her from people and especially from my younger sister, who knows her very well.
Before the Blessing I didn't really know my spouse well. I had a chance to get to know her a little last summer during the 40-days blessed children's workshop in Korea. Most of the girls there were too shy to talk, but sometimes a girl needs to speak up for the sake of a successful workshop. I felt she knew the right time to speak up, so my impression of her was pretty good.
My wife is three years younger than I am. During the time of the Blessing she called me opa, which means brother. One day her mother said to her, "What do you mean 'opa'? He is your husband! You should call him 'husband':' But we weren't used to that yet.
My younger sister also got blessed in this wedding. Now with this Blessing all my physical brothers and sisters are married. My two older sisters were born before my father joined the church, and they got blessed in 1982 in Madison Square Garden. My father said now he's sure he did everything right.
As a child I never had very many things to think about. I just followed whatever my parents said. I knew what they said came from True Parents, and ultimately from God. My parents always had a certain expectation of me, how to behave, how to live. But that standard is not common in the world. That's why as I grow older it isn't always easy to follow their expectations because I don't just live in the church; I'm at school, out in the world. Even though my thoughts and beliefs are based on the True Parents, my physical body is in the world, so there is always some struggle. How to deal with both realities? I live between them.
Even though there are constant temptations from the world, I'm not too shaky. I feel strong. I don't know where that power comes from, really. When temptation comes I think, what if my parents found out about it? What would happen if a church member saw me? So I can't do it. If I get confused, I just ask my parents.
Right now I go Drew University, where I study computer science. Father suggested I go into that field. Father really wants us to study hard, so I try to do my best at school. I'd like to make friends there, but it is almost impossible, because people can't understand what we are going through. I have acquaintances, with whom I can talk about superficial things, but I don't have any real friends.
I deeply appreciate what my parents have done. They are my example. My father has had to accomplish so many difficult things, and my mother has had to sacrifice herself a lot. My father is not just a church member, not just one of the 36 Couples; he is also Father's relative, so I think there has always been a strong pressure on him to do what is right. If my father were to do something bad, his mistake would reflect also on the True Parents.
Whenever he was asked to do something, he couldn't say no. He had to be there. He's not so young -- he's three years younger than True Father -- but he always had three or four different positions and responsibilities. All my life I watched him working very hard. He didn't talk to me very often, or teach me things directly, but he just obeyed True Parents.
Whenever I had a vacation, especially in the summer, I used to stay at Belvedere, and every morning I went to East Garden. Father is, of course, our spiritual center, and we follow whatever he asks us to do; but to me he is more than that, because he's my uncle several times removed. He's like my other father. It has always been very natural for me to want to be with Father at every opportunity I could get.
At East Garden I usually bowed to Father twice a day -- morning and evening. Not a lot of people do that. I would wait until Father came down for breakfast and then I would bow. A couple of times I got a chance to talk personally with Father. When just Father and Mother and one or two others were at the table, Father would talk to me about personal things, and how school was going.
At East Garden only about 10 people can sit around the breakfast table. Whenever lots of leaders came, there would be no extra seats. So sometimes they would call me over and ask a sister to make one more place for me.
Father and the leaders liked to tease me around the table: "You are old enough to get married. You need a girlfriend." Father used to talk about the ideal wife for me. Sometimes he would joke, "You know, you're very skinny, so you can't expect a skinny wife." One time he asked the leaders, "Who's toe fattest girl among the blessed children?" So they told him who was the fattest, and who was the second fattest, and so on. Actually, I don't mind when he makes fun of me. I'm always happy when he's teasing me and telling his funny stories. I'm always happy when I see that he's happy.
I have plenty of ideas about how to live and how to act, so all I have to do is to put these ideas into action. I think this is the first time I've really had the opportunity to show concretely what God wants me to do. I was single for 20 years, but now it's time to add one more person. Everything is based upon the family foundation. So this Blessing is like a starting point for me.
Of course you have to love God, heaven, and the whole universe, but you can get lost. They're too big. How can you do it? You have to start with your family, and before your family, yourself. And then you can expand and get bigger.
Father has spoken about love so many times. But actually I can only imagine what love is in my head. I can't really feel it. I ask myself, What's love? Now I think I have a chance to find out. It's not just a chance -- I have to take the initiative to find out what true love is.
The Blessing in our church is one of the most precious things. Now, since this Blessing, I feel I am a 100 percent church member. Now I am a real Moonie, because I have my wife. Father always emphasized: "The give and take of love between husband and wife is what God wants to see from you. Nobody will blame you if you love your wife too much. I'll be glad to see that. So love your wife,"
Of course, to be honest with you, I don't miss my wife a great deal yet. I hardly know her. We were together the whole time for two weeks, but it was too short a time to feel love. But I don't think that's a problem. She's my wife. And the most important thing is that we trust each other.
I know I can love my wife. I've thought about that a lot. I think we just need to spend more time with each other and then we will be able to understand each other. I think that's natural. You don't have to try -- you just take care of your wife and your wife takes care of you. I think that's what love is.