The Words of the Irwin Family
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The Words of the Irwin Family |
Family Fellowship Groups in Northern California are nearing the end of an unprecedented awareness campaign called "40 days of Marriage and Family" from October 12 to November 20, 2008.
The idea came up on the morning of September 20, 2008, when twenty brothers and sisters of the Bay Area Family Church gathered at The Gardens to discuss the Marriage and Family Ministry. Lively discussion on the benefits and value of regular healthy marriage education went on for more than an hour. Many ideas came out on action steps that can be taken both in the long and short term.
The group decided to implement a 40-day period to cover six themes, each of which was to be introduced by the speaker at Sunday Service. A small-groups manual was compiled that included ice-breaker topics, discussion questions, and sermon summaries presented by each of the speakers.
Each presenter spent considerable time and invested his or her prayerful heart in the preparation of each session with the idea that a manual given out in advance would be used in multiple ways, for example, to take notes during the Sunday Service, to prepare for discussion at the small-group and Family Ministry meetings, and to facilitate family meetings.
The hope is that during these 40 days, our community can focus all our activities each week on the same topic. The desired result is to raise the awareness of marriage and family issues, to encourage increased collaboration between members of the community and Unificationist ministers, and to let the light shine more brightly on, as In Jin Nim puts it, one of the "best kept secrets" in America today -- our Unificationist families.
Our goal is to keep educating potential small-group hosts and Family Ministers in order to create a vibrant Family-Fellowship body. We are presently working on such a program. We will create regular training, holding retreats if possible, thus making the host-work attractive. We also strive to integrate young adults into the Family Fellowship realm. Still, a major shift toward bringing new people into the realm of True Parents has to be secured. We have the conviction that when our families are happy, meeting in good Fellowship groups, they naturally will want to bring their neighbors and coworkers.
Before True Parents called us to transform our movement into Family Fellowship, there existed a “Tribe” or “Family-Ministry” system in the Bay Area Family Church. Groups of up to 10 families were headed by Family Ministers, who served as mediators between the pastor and the congregation. The Tribe Groups were arranged by the regional director or pastor, and the meetings centered around the passing on of information and gathering reports of how the families were doing.
In early 2006 the call went out to start the Hoon-Dok Family gatherings, but it was not clear what the congregation should do differently. The main instruction we received was that families should form smaller groups of 3 families, by choosing with whom they wanted to fellowship. Those small groups were to be formed centering on the Word and Heart, creating a wonderful relationship and making room to invite neighbors and friends.
This transition process started slowly; we lacked information and vision regarding how to do it. When Reverend and Mrs. Goto came in 2007, they introduced to our community their Family Fellowship model, which they had adapted from the Saddleback Church. Things changed, and more families came on board. Others volunteered to become hosts (small group leaders). At that time, we still had the two systems (Family Ministry and newer Family Fellowship) running parallel.
To have a fresh start, soon after Reverend and Mrs. Cotter assumed the position of district leader and pastor, they decided to allow the standing Family Ministers to retire, if they so desired. More and more Family Fellowship groups sprang up, with some new leaders emerging to lead the groups with a new spirit.
Rev. Michael Irwin received the opportunity twice to participate with the Saddleback Small Group Conferences, thus gaining insight on how to guide a congregation toward forming healthy small groups.
Presently, we have 20 small groups in Northern California -- 13 in the Bay Area and 7 in Sacramento. Some of these are still rather large, and we are working toward establishing more hosts. Furthermore, we are in the process of reinventing the Family Ministry with a new paradigm. Now, every family and every member would be connected to the Family Minister, who would host a small group, thus giving an example for others to host small groups.
The reports of participating members are encouraging. Members of Blessed Families, which meet in small groups regularly, have said that it has empowered and strengthened their spiritual lives. Their fellowship is on a “heartistic,” that is, relational, base, which has renewed and healed them. A few groups have started to bring guests, and some former members reportedly have joined in a group and felt good about doing that.
We have been striving to have a lot of study material for small-group use available, so that the emphasis is centering on the Word. There is a wealth of curricula out there, but better still would be to have more and more Unification courses available. The Goto’s, “Principle Centered Living” series is a good start. Some groups have used Relationship Enhancement material for their gatherings, and it seems there is a need for such training among our families.
Rev. Michael and Marianne Irwin are the Family Fellowship District Coordinators in Northern California