The Words of the Goldberg Family
Perfecting the Four Great Realms of Heart is a recurring theme in our True Parents' teachings. Reverend Hyung Jin Moon emphasizes developing our practice of becoming a true parent, true spouse, true sibling and true son or daughter for the sake of the world.
I have been thinking a lot about the process of perfecting our love and getting victory in these realms of heart. So I hope you won't mind if I share a few of my reflections here.
It is important for us to define what it is we are talking about before we begin to study and practice. So we need to know what we mean by "perfect". Used as an adjective the word perfect means to bring to completion, to make flawless or to make fully skilled as in the perfection of a tradesman or an artist. The verb per-fect (accent on the final syllable) requires action and describes a process of improvement toward an ideal.
How does the Divine Principle define perfect? Looking at the Exposition of Divine Principle we read that, "The human fall severed our relationship with God... our ancestors joined a reciprocal relationship with Satan, becoming one with him."
The Divine Principle goes on to illuminate the meaning of the word perfect in speaking of "Jesus, who attained Oneness with God through perfect give and take action with the Creator. Therefore, when we unite with Jesus in a perfect reciprocal relationship, we can recover our original God given nature..."
I want to draw an important distinction between growing toward perfection of our Divine purpose in life and "perfectionism."
Pastor David Seamands wrote a very helpful spiritual recovery book entitled, Healing for Damaged Emotions. In this book Seamands presents a good definition of the meaning and the effects of perfectionism. "Perfectionism is a constant and all-pervading feeling of never quite measuring up, never quite being or doing enough to please. To please whom? Everyone -- yourself, others and God. Naturally a lot of self belittling and self-contempt goes along with it, together with a super sensitivity to the opinions, to the approval, and the disapproval of others. And all of this is accompanied by a could of guilt. The perfectionist almost has to feel guilty, if for nothing else, not feeling guilty about something!"
Jesus meant something entirely different when he said, "Be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect." He must have been talking about the perfection of love, the perfection of each of our unique divine natures. Here is where we find the depth and the richness of the experience of communion with our Maker, when we begin to discover who we truly are in God's image.
Christianity is a religion of love. It teaches that love and sacrifice for the sake of others are the means to open a path to restore and make true and good relationships between people. On that foundation, emulating the love of Christ, we can repair our broken vertical relationship with God.
Then what about our relationship with our spouse? How do we find perfection in the marriage relationship? I have observed over many years that wives are very good at telling husbands how to become the perfect husband. And, oddly enough, husbands think they have a very good idea of what a perfect wife should be.
Many of us, upon entering the marriage blessing are shocked by the reality that we are two unique individuals, wired entirely differently as male and female, challenged with the task of learning how to harmonize and love one another and raise an ideal family!
I want to offer just a few suggestions -- learned the hard way on how to harmonize as husband and wife. For the men: Please do not ignore your wife's need for financial security when you make business or professional decisions. Include your partner and communicate with her until you are both comfortable with a decision. Secondly, when she asks you to listen, please pay attention and do not shut her out. Make effort and show her you heard what she said. It helps to just repeat it back to make sure you got it right. And third, keep in mind especially if finances are tight, one rose is just as good as a dozen if your heart is in the right place. Making the bed or doing the dishes helps the relationship just as well as giving a gift. Write her a sincere note of appreciation once in a while.
Now for wives, just a few hints. When he gets home from work after fighting the dragons of the world, please give him a little space in his cave to recover and then maybe feed him a bit. Men are a lot more receptive and open to listening to their wives after a little chill out time and a good meal. And ladies, please do not pick at his faults or shame him. We run away and withdraw when you do that. We like to please you, so give us a chance. Being sarcastic, ridiculing or constantly correcting what your husband says will actually not making him a better person.
I hope some of these ideas and suggestions may be useful. I can assure you I still am a work in progress but I have learned that growing can be fun.
Let's love life, love our families and love our neighbors. And, oh yes, please give out the autobiography, As A Peace Loving Global Citizen, which is always available at Sunday Service.
We will meet downstairs with some of our local music. Just come and see for yourself. You might want to arrive 15 minutes early if you like music.
See you on Sunday,
Pastor Matthew Goldberg and Marianne
National 18th Anniversary Assembly on Human Rights: Awakening the Dignity of Women. Keynote Speaker: Rev. In Jin Moon
Friday, Sept. 24 -- Sunday, Sept. 26, at the New Yorker Hotel. Register now!
New Hope Academy is grateful and pleased to announce that it is the recipient of a $10,000 grant from Rev. In Jin Nim that is ear marked to cover 25% of a BC child's tuition at the school. In addition, a member of the New Hope Board of Directors has matched this grant, so 50% of an eligible family's tuition will be covered. Qualified students in grades K-12th who can demonstrate need are eligible to apply. Students who are academically strong may also qualify for further academic scholarship. Contact Joy Morrow at New Hope Academy ASAP. www.newhopeacademy.org "Committed to academic excellence, and supporting parents to raise moral children."
Book Party at Greenbelt Outreach Center -- meet and read and chill with us at the New Hope Family Church Office, 7245 Hanover Parkway, at 7 PM till 8 PM Friday. Call Doug Burton for directions.
Afterwards, we will adjourn to the Labor Day Festival in Old Greenbelt Center. Rides, food and fun for the evening and weekend.
3 Bedroom, 2 bathroom spacious home in Springdale, MD. Walk-in closet, large deck. Available immediately. $1,650/month. Call Cecil or Debbie Robbins (443) 951-1591.
Newly renovated basement rooms for rent with separate entrance, kitchen, living room and bathroom. Located on Good Luck Road in New Carrollton, MD. Down the street from UMD along the metro bus and UMD shuttle route; a couple of minutes from Rt. 50 and Rt. 495. For more information, please call Lan Tsubata.